I hesitate outside her door, wondering if I should knock. The city sounds drift in through the open window of the dark corridor and I close my eyes, trying to block out the sounds. It is past midnight. An absurd time to call on her. But I feel restless. My heart pines for some silence. A comfortable silence that only she can offer.
I lift my hand to the wooden door and give it a gentle tap. The sound is almost drowned by the loud honking of cars outside.
I sigh when I don't hear her pattering footsteps behind the door and knock again; this time a little louder.
Few more minutes pass and there isn't any sound from behind the door. I slowly withdraw from her door and start walking towards the stairs. Perhaps, I shouldn't have come.
I have only walked down the first two steps when I hear the door open behind me.
"You do give up very easily." I hear her jovial voice behind me and I turn.
A smile appears on my face at the sight of her.
She is dressed in white and yellow pyjamas, her hair slightly dishevelled and her face lit up by that beautiful smile of hers.
"Well, normally people are asleep at this hour." I say.
"Look who's talking." She laughs and my smile deepens into a grin.
"Wait here." She says and disappears inside her flat for a few minutes. I wonder what she is up to this time. She is always full of surprises. I smile and think back to the time she joined ETF. How I hated her then. Her never-ending chatter, her unpredictable smiles and laughter. And then somehow, she became my confidant, my best friend.
She locks her door behind her as she leaves, phone in hand.
"What are you doing?" I ask.
"Well, if you are here at this hour, it obviously means you want to get away for a while." She throws me an exasperated look, as if I missed something obvious.
I frown, puzzled at her sudden behaviour.
She hums to herself as she reaches me and I say, "You are coming in your pyjamas?"
She looks at me as if I have uttered something preposterous and says, "What, you have a problem?"
She doesn't wait for my reply, but jumps down the steps, two at a time. On the way down, I see her making a phone call.
Her voice is casual as she speaks into the phone, "Yeah I know it is past midnight. I just wanted to say I am borrowing your car."
I hear some shouting from the other end of the phone, but she just laughs and holds the phone away from her ear.
And then I hear her say, "Yeah, whatever. It's not like I m stealing it. Go back to bed. Goodnight."
Some more shouting reaches me, but she cuts off the call abruptly.
When we reach the bottom of the stairs, she grins at me and says, "I am not doing this for you. I want to get away myself. I couldn't sleep."
I don't believe her.
***
"You are driving?" I ask her.
"So? It is my brother's car."
We are standing in the parking of her flat, in front of a midnight blue convertible. I don't ask her why she would borrow her brother's car when my SUV is parked just around the corner.
"Your brother also happens to be my best friend." I say.
She thrusts the key in my hand and says, "Fine. I drive back."
"You give up too easily too." I smirk as I get in behind the steering wheel.
"I heard that." She grins and settles into her seat.
"Where are we going?" I ask.
She leans back in the seat, closes her eyes and says, "Anywhere. Away from the city."
***
I have been taking blind turns. I have let my instincts guide me. We have been driving away from the city, the lights, the sounds and the people. The roads are dark and desolate. The sounds have died around me and my mind feels as if it has been wiped clean. The night air is cool and crisp. A slight hint of the approaching winter lingers in the little gusts of wind that escape into the car. She is leaning out of the window; her eyes are closed and her dark hair flies wildly in the wind. She senses my gaze and moves her head inside the car. Her hair is in a tangled mess, but she ignores it and switches on the radio.
Cars and stop signs
Streets that look like concrete rivers going nowhere
Were surrounded lets surrender
Run away right into thin air
She smiles at me as the song surrounds us, its soft music floating through the air and settling around us.
"Wait for the magic." She grins at me and presses the button for opening the roof of the convertible.
The roof parts away slowly and I feel the strong wind breaking into the car. I feel the wind in my hair, my face and all around me. I feel light, as if the wind has washed away all my restlessness. She gasps beside me and gently touches my arm.
I follow her gaze and look up at the sky.
The moon hasn't risen into the sky yet, and yet it still remains illuminated by the millions of stars scattered across the ink-black sky. I have never seen so many stars in the city and it leaves me in awe, gazing up at the glittering sky.
"Little dots of happiness scattered across the sky. You cannot always see them. But..." She says.
"But they are always there." I complete her sentence and look into her eyes.
She smiles and leans back against her seat to stare up at the open sky.
Boy take my hand lets disappear too many city lights round here
Follow my heart into the trees under the stars
We can lose ourselves in the midnight
We can find our way in the sunrise
Grab a mason jar full of fireflies to be our light
Look in my eyes, you got the moon, I've got the shine
The dark road slowly winds into a forest. Soon we are surrounded by trees leaning onto us from both sides. Their boughs are heavy with leaves which appear dark and foreboding in the moonless night. The starry sky is soon interrupted by the branches that loom over us, making their dark outline against the glittering sky. She has switched the radio off and we drive in silence through the trees, winding our way deeper into the forest.
She places her hand over my arm again and says, "Stop the car."
I do as she says and we are enveloped in silence as the engine comes to a stop. There is only a faint sound of the rustling leaves as the wind travels through the trees. The entire forest is painted in a shade of midnight blue with the bold trees standing out in black. Wind gently sways the leaf-covered branches that form a dark canopy over us and glimpses of the starry sky is unveiled now and then.
It is a strange sort of silence. I lean back against my seat and stare up at the dark, mysterious branches swaying above us.
"It is beautiful isn't it?" She asks. Her voice is so soft that it blends in with the gentle sound of the wind around us.
"Yes." I reply and glance at her silent form beside me. "Wonder what it would be like when the moon is out."
She looks into my eyes and says, "I think it is more beautiful when the moon isn't around. Sometimes, even the darkness has a beauty to it. If it weren't for a moonless night, you wouldn't see so many stars."
***
We have been sitting in silence, leaning back in our seats. Her hand lies close to mine, our palms just about touching. Her touch feels comforting in the silence and I don't want to move around in my seat, lest she moves her hand away.
The moon has perhaps risen into the sky now, as the forest is bathed in a faint silvery glow. I see her glancing towards her window, her face illuminated in the silvery moonlight that filters through the trees.
Then she exclaims in surprise, her hand suddenly gripping mine.
"What?" I ask, sitting upright in my seat.
She points towards her window and I follow her gaze.
My eyes move towards the darkness beyond her until I find the sight that has left her mesmerised. Tiny, blinking lights have appeared just near the forest floor, highlighting the dark tree trunks here and there. Fireflies, I realise. They seem to scatter across the forest, brightening their dark path ever so slightly. It appears as if the stars above have somehow broken free and let themselves loose on the earth.
She looks at me, her eyes glowing with excitement and whispers, "Stars."
I smile at her and place my hand over hers.
I do not think about what I say next, "Do you want to follow them?"
I know she smiles in the darkness when she replies, "Yes."
***
We walk through the trees, into the land of the fallen stars. She slips her hand into mine as we walk, carefully treading through the dark and uneven path. She laughs as we follow a few blinking lights into the forest, our fingers intertwined. Fireflies blink around us, their lights appearing and disappearing within seconds. They fly around us as we stand amidst the trees, surrounded by hundreds of fallen stars.
I don't let go of her hand until we reach back to our car.
I see her in the dark as she stands beside me, laughing to her heart's content. Somehow, it makes me laugh along with her until we are leaning against the hood of the car, holding on to our aching sides.
It was one of the craziest things I ever did.
***
I glance at her as she drives through the roads, a faint smile playing on her lips. The strong wind plays with her hair, but she doesn't bother to push the loose strands away. She says she likes the feel of the wind through her hair. It feels like freedom.
I realise then that she hasn't spoken much during our journey. I have never seen her so quiet before.
When I voice my thoughts, she glances at me briefly and says, "Because you needed it. You needed the silence. The comfortable silence that exists between us. Besides, I don't always need words to converse with you, right?"
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