Posted:
Hi Guys!
I have written a Rahi OS
I hope uh like it š
I was married at the time that I had met him. I had 2 young kids and visited the library often.
We bumped into each other and when I looked into his eyes to apologize I felt like I had known him for many lives. He felt so familiar and my heart jumped with a sense of recognition.
I said "I'm sorry."
When I tried walking away he held his hand out saying "Hi, I'm Ranveer. Do you come here often? You look very familiar."
I said "Yes. I come with my kids often here. Nice to meet you too." and walked away to the kids room in the library. "Ah! it's just that I have been coming to the library so often that half the people would already know me here." I sighed to myself.
The next time when I visited the library, I went looking for a book and when I was pulling it out of the shelf someone else was pulling it out at the same time. I gave in. There, on the other side was Ranveer again. He broke out with a grin and said,
"Hi, Nice to see you again. If you want you can keep this book. By the way I didn't get your name last time."
I nodded no, "Hi, I'm Panchi. You can keep the book. I can read something else."
"What kind of books do you read?" he asked.
When I told him my genre of favorite books and authors he took me around and showed a few books that he had read and recommended them for reading. Then he started talking about himself and how he was in between jobs for the past 2 months and he listed all the books that he had been reading.
I was fascinated. I loved reading books and any free time that I got I usually sit down and read. I have always wanted to write too, but never had the courage to write. It was nice to meet someone who shared the same interest and I told him how I have always wanted to try writing.
He immediately started persuading me to start writing something small and to bring it to show it to him on Monday. I nodded my head in doubt but he asked me to promise him that I would try writing at least one page.
I finally did try writing a page of the story that had been running in my head for a long time. When I went to meet him on Monday he was not there. I felt disappointed. So I sat there and wrote more pages.
By wednesday I had written nearly 10 pages and wanted to meet Ranveer again to share it and get his opinion. So when the kids were at school I went to the library with apprehension to see if I can meet him or atleast write without disturbances. Alas there he was standing near the entrance in a rugged jeans and a red sweater on. He looked so handsome.
I didn't want to seem that I had come to meet him and acted surprised on seeing him.
He said ,"Sorry I couldn't meet you on Monday. I had a call for an interview and I had to go since my savings are diminishing."
He asked me if I had kept the promise. So we sat in a table and I opened my laptop to show the pages that I had written. He was pretty impressed with the story line and corrected some of the sentences. He knew that I was married but never asked about it.
My husband had been busy for the past year and half with setting up his new business. He was frequently out of town for 5 days and came only for the weekends. During the weekdays I could never talk to him much. I never complained but it was creating a void in me. A need for someone to share my days, which were becoming like wallpaper repeating the same pattern over and over again.
Now Ranveer was like a bloom in my winter days. He made it a bit more colorful. We started meeting more often at Starbucks or Barnes and Nobles. We discussed books and our other interests. We had so many things in common. At times I felt he was my soul mate to me.
I did not want to define our relationship with a word. I looked forward to meeting him whenever I could and we did about 6 months. I had nearly completed my book as well with his encouragement.
One day when we were at the coffee shop he looked intensely at me, I felt nervous. I knew he was about to say something serious. I only prayed that what he was about to say would not change our relationship in anyway. But alas he had to say this,
"Panchi I love you. I know you are married but I don't want you to do anything about it. From the day I met you I felt like I have known you forever. I felt a spark like I have never felt with anyone else that I have met in my life. I couldn't help myself from holding on to this secret for any longer. It feels so hard to withhold it. I would rather let you know and face your reaction than locking it up. We can still be friends and I would be your first instigator in getting your books published and be there when ever you need me. But I had to let you know how I feel about you for my sake."
My hands started shaking. I knew I liked him a lot too. We had a lot of things in common and I had felt the same spark that he just described. But I had made a vow to a man, to stand by him until death do us apart. Now I couldn't continue my relationship with him I thought. He had been a good friend and helped me find my passion. But I didn't want to meet him again.
"I am sorry. I can't do this Ranveer. It was okay for me as long we were friends. But I am married. My first commitment is to my kids and my marriage. You were a wonderful friend who helped me find myself. You rescued me from a depression and showed me what I was meant to do in my life. I thank you for that. But I am sorry. I don't think I can continue with this and keep giving you hopes. As I have come from a broken home I always wanted to give my children the stability of a family. I think I am holding you up from meeting other wonderful women out there who would give you what you deserve. I will sure miss you. But you deserve better Ranveer. So let's part ways before either of us hurt each other more."
I walked away without looking back with tears streaming through my eyes.
***
12 Years Later...
It was a very cold December day. I was in Book a Million signing my books. I had written 3 books so far and was being welcomed by readers across the world.
My husband left me 10 years back for a younger woman he met while on his business trip. I started writing with fervor and here I was today signing books for my fans and living my dream.
I heard someone call me, "Panchi can you sign this for me?"
The voice seemed very familiar and I turned around to see the face that I had yearned so many days to see. To tell him that it was because of him that I was here in this place. But I had not known his whereabouts. I prayed that one day I would be able to tell him how thankful that I was to him. Here he was... standing with the same twinkle in eyes and dimple on his cheeks.
Tears tried creeping in my eyes. I tried stopping them but no walls could hold them now. I got the book from his hand and signed,
"Dear Ranveer I dedicate these books to you..." with a tear drop blotting his name.
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