Understanding Ruqaiya's lost heart... - Page 3

Originally posted by: sashashyam

A very interesting take on this evergreen subject. I would have commented at greater length if my eyes had been up to it. I particularly liked the parts @blue.

But I have clear reservations about your last para.Why limit yourself, in a condescending manner, to the 16th century? The statistical fact is that, as I noted above to Munni,even today, throughout Asia, a very large number of marriages are arranged, often between well qualified working professionals, as per their choice. Compatibility and security are obviously more important to these young people, who perhaps, seeing the escalating divorce rates in the West, distrust the concept of " romantic love" as a pre-requisite for marriage.

The majority of such arranged marriages do very well, for marriage is about much more that just romantic love between the man and the woman. Which often fades away, and at times turns into its opposite, otherwise there would not be so many divorces in countries where love marriages are the norm.

I was thus astonished to see Jodha stating in one of the recent episodes about that baandi, that prem was necessary for a vivah. And she was brought up to marry whomsoever her father chose for her!

Shyamala B.Cowsik

Originally posted by: Pals2411

Nice post! Thanks for the PM.😃

Be it as a friend (giving salahs to Jalal/Shahenshah) or as a wife (attending to his physical needs, giving slaps to Hoshiyaar when he spoke ill about Jo's i.e. Jallu's child) she was there I felt. BUT not always. She cares for him that is sure. She is possessive about him. Because for her Jalal is the ONLY friend she has. BUT the support to Jalal was whenever SHE FELT SHE WANTED to give him not otherwise. Her relationship with Jalal is more of a give and take for her. The emotional compatibility between them is very low and that is why she fails to understand him many times. When he really wanted some real emotional support, she was never around - be it as a friend or wife. This is where you find Jodha, standing for him whenever he feels low in life as a person or as a Shahenshah.😛

Originally posted by: myviewprem

I read all posts are good but you have mised one impt point

Jalal has mother, 2 sisters, 1 brother(and maham, adham, atagah) so he is not insecure

Jodha has dad, mom, 4-5 brothers, 2-3 sisters and nephew and necies apart from grandmom

Salima has mom and son in rahim

So its OK for all of them if spouse is not caring they know others are there even if spouse relation fails

But ruqu has no one as family no parents, siblings and children

The only person she has is a husband and if that relation fails she has no one to fall on to in life

and secondly jalal always told her he has no heart so ruqu channeled her heart towards mind and called love as audha. Its a way to distract her loveless life. We cannot blame ruqu because she does not know how to love anyone usually orphan kids will be like that love has to be taught not come naturally to anyone. Usually parents and siblings teach meaning of love to a child in life. And then child becomes big and give that love to their next generation. Its a cycle. Sometimes what happens kids who are orphan, come from broken family etc they do not know how to give love etc because they may not be loved by anyone or have been rejected early in life. This has happened with Ruqu to extreme sense. Jalal atleast had BK and Maham, bakshi and other sister and to some extent hamida and Humayun and hakim so he has some understandng of love.

In 21st century loveless wives distract themselves by going to kitty party and social get togethers same way 16th century Ruqu trying to distract herself saying audha

Its all human psychology - if you all read some books on human/animal psychology its a simple thig no human/animal can live without love and care and attention either from family or colleagues etc. If a situation arises where an human does not get love, care, attention from family, friends, colleagues etc they become like ruqu and become possessive of work/position/friend etc. Jalal was similar possessive of wars, winning etc for a long time before he calmed down after marriage to jodha in serial.

Real akbar calmed down after he got kids and became more understanding. That is when he brought about his reforms in his 30s when he made all reforms, became more humane in war etc

Similarly Ruqaiah should get some thing to calm her down to channel her fears, insecurity etc and that shall be salim and later khurram, till then she will continue all this insecure games of hers.