PART FOURTEENThis os is not to disrespect any God. This is to be taken in a lighter vein. If anyone feels offended, my apologies. Undocumented story of pivotal role Ganesha played in Pandava's birth.
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"Dear Kunti. Tomorrow you will use your Maharshi Durvaasa's boon to invoke Lord Shiva and pray for a powerful son." Pandu embraced Kunti snugly while jealous Madri glowered in distance.
Deep in the forest, sage Durvaasa learnt about the conversation via his yogic powers.He had waited long for this. A faint evil smile spread on his face. Satisfied, he closed his eyes again and immersed in Om chanting.
Goddess Paarvati was never fond of Durvaasa - a psychotic, serial curser ,step-son from Sati Anasuya. His frequent visits to Kailasa were a source of friction between Shiva and Paarvati and Paarvati finally succeeded to permanently bar Durvaasa from entering Kailasa.
To avoid recurrences of this sort, she sternly warned Shiva against being a happy go lucky Vicky donor for his devotees or else she vowed to walk out on him and never see him again.
Durvaasa was deeply hurt and wanted revenge. He gave the boon to Kunti and dropped enough hints that she should invoke Lord Shiva. Lord Shiva,bound by the power of mantra had to bestow a son upon Kunti.
Then Paarvati would leave Shiva for good and he could visit Kailasa again. The plan was full proof.
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Lord Ganesha scrutinised his dilapidated hut. Riddhi, his wife was right. The hut indeed required urgent fixes. Ganesha felt a pang of guilt. He could no longer afford a luxurious life of rich savory food, new clothes, expensive jewellery, servants, majestic lions for transport.
He was forced to sell his lions and ride on a cheap, emaciated mouse. Lord Shiva, his father, squandered all the wealth to purchase exquisite,expensive body ashes of famous,virtuous sages and kings. They were now completely broke.
His self-deprecating thoughts came to a screeching halt when Nandi dropped unannounced and informed him about Pandu's plan to beget a son from Shiva. It was indeed a grave news.His irascible step brother Durvaasa had played well. He had to act fast.
The God of intelligence chalked out a plan not only to save parents' marriage but also to dig them out of penury. His plan was simple. He would approach wealthy Gods and offer services to mediate between them and Kunti and get adequately paid in return.
The task turned out to be surprisingly difficult. Most gods were more interested in Madri than Kunti. Also, Goddess Ganga had started a new fashion on earth to abandon the newly born in the river and Kunti seemed to be fascinated with it.
The Gods were eager to oblige Kunti but were hesitant to look after abandoned baby. Suryadev was already fuming and cursing, radiating anger.
Lord Ganesha approached rich Yama. Yama was widely perceived as staunch follower of dharma. He was reluctantly leading upright, virtuous, moral life to preserve his reputation.
Duravasa's boon turned out to be a great opportunity of enjoyment without tarnishing his image .Ganesha promised to put in good word for him with Kunti and make it work. In return Yama promised Ganesha free supply of high quality cadavers for Lord Shiva.
Lord Ganesha found flighty Indra and Vaayudev in Amravati bar, reveling in soma and dancing with Apsaras.With so much beauty around, they were not interested in Kunti.
Ganesha skillfully diverted the topic to Vaayu's son, Hanumana and how he troubled Indra and Surya as a small boy and proclaimed that no other God could ever produce mightier son.
It offended intoxicated Indra who was still smarting under that incident. He passed unflattering comments on Hanumana and thus started an ugly spat between Vaayu and Indra.
Ganesha readily suggested a contest between the two. Both would beget a child to same woman, Kunti and Ganesha would adjudge the better progeny. Vaayudev offered lot of mullah to Ganesha for his service while Indra agreed to ask vishwakarma to build him a huge palace for free.
Unassuming Aswinikumars had amassed a lot of wealth from patents on various herbal remedies and now were seeking some fame and recognition.
They were grateful for an opportunity to father a child along with mighty Yama and Indra and promised Ganesha free medical treatment for entire Shiva clan including his retinue of Samandhas, Pishachhas, Rudras and Nandi.
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Content with all financial deals under wrap, Ganesha hurried to Kunti.
"I could not wait after hearing the great news. Kartikeya and I are so excited to have a brother soon." Ganesha feigned exaggerated happiness.
"Thanks Lord Ganesh. It will be an honour."
"By the way Kunti, would you prefer the head transplant of handsome fish or rugged buffalo ? We received a fresh supply today and there are plenty of heads to choose from for our beloved brother."
Ganesh smiled kindly and added.
"Pitaji initially had few goofups in head grafting. You can see mine is very ill-fitted and give me constant back pain.
Daksha, on the other hand, is truly a changed man after ram transplant and tackles all situations heads on. But now Pitaji is expert in the transplants and cant wait to try his skills on our little brother."
Kunti and Pandu were taken aback. Ganesha continued, bristling with enthusiasm.
"Infact,now a days, most Gods tweak the baby after it is born to give them distinguished look. Agnidev makes sure that the boy has a high fever and Moon God prefers crescent shaped head. Varundev prefers a child with perennial runny nose. Suryadev adds his signature armour and ear rings."
Kunti thought of her abandoned baby longingly. She was appalled at the old fashioned, ugly design of that armour and rings and felt for the baby. She would not let anymore atrocities for rest of her babies.
"Lord Ganesh. This is all so fascinating. But you mentioned most Gods offer tweaks. So there are some who believe in keeping things natural ?" Kunti fought hard to keep her voice steady and casual.
Ganesh smiled and added with exaggerated disparagement.
"Yes there are few lazy, old-fashioned Gods such as Indra,Vaayu, Yama, Aswinikumars. But surely we dont need to worry about those. Again let me repeat those Gods for no particular reason. Those are Indra, Vaayu, Yama and Aswinikumars. Anyway I should be going now."
Next day, Nandi came to visit Ganesha. "Lord Shiva is very happy. He today unexpectedly received a free consignment of lovely corpses.He has prepared lot of ash and asked me to hand over this container to you."
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This story was originally narrated by Ved Vyaasa but the stately amanuensis omitted it for obvious reasons. Like a true politician, Ganesha also employed his new riches to convince narrators of Shiva Purana,Ganesha Purana not to mention the story.
He had one more source of income which is now revealed here.
After convincing Kunti, the clairvoyant Ganesha went to Ved Vyaasa and offered his penmanship for royalty rights of entire Mahabharata.
He also promised Vyaasa that his father would meet and discuss Vedanta Sutra with him.
Like a true politician, Ganesha remained vague on time element and poor, naive Vyaasa had to wait ages for advent of Shankaracharya.
Ganesha was doing great guns with royalties on Mahabharat but then suddenly Vyaasa's brilliant student, Jainemaya came up with his own version of Mahabharat.
Lord Ganesha made same proposition which was respectfully turned down by Jainemaya, known for his great business acumen.
New Mahabharat with its daring interpretation was gaining popularity, slowly eating into Ganesha's royalty income.
Then all of a sudden, Jainemaya's Mahabharat completely disappeared from face of the earth except for insignificant Aswamedh Parva.
Lord Ganesha vehemently denied any involvement and regretted great literary loss.
Again.. Just like a true politician.
Edited by Cotswolds - 11 years ago
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