SwaRon OS Current Track

"Sharon kaha hai?" Swayam wonders looking at the chaos created by his friends. They were all clearly not in their senses, and this only worried Swayam more. He tried asking the gang about Sharon but nobody had a sane reply and this drew Swayam crazy. The gang looked pretty safe so he left in search of Sharon and hoped to God for Alok's sake that he was nowhere near her. He cursed her. He cursed himself. "Shit Sharon, where the hell are you?" He picked up his phone and called her.

"Alok, this is the yummiest paan I have ever had" giggled a very unstable Sharon. "And you are the prettiest girl I have ever seen" replied Alok amused at how his plan was working out. Sharon giggled more and swayed with lack of balance. Her phone buzzed. She pulled her phone from the pocket, and smiled when she saw the caller. She always smiled when she thought about Swayam, that was no surprise. She remembered how he said he was protective of her. She liked that he said that. She liked it very much. She just did not know how to express it anymore now that she was back in her mind cave closing all the doors that were once open only to Swayam. She cut the call deliberately. She felt the need to be distracted. "Alok, let's go near the river"Sharon giggled and pulled him along with her.

Swayam swore under his breath again and again. "Pick up the call damn it. Where the hell do I search for her? If she is with Alok, she could be anywhere and I have no idea about this place. Shit!" exclaimed Swayam thinking about all the worst case scenarios. He asked every villager he crossed by if they had seen Alok and reached until a place where there were no more people. From here on he had to search by himself, and it was a vast meadow. "Sharon" he yelled.

Sharon and Alok were sitting on a huge rock. "This is so beautiful" Sharon admired the scenery in front of her. She took a deep breath and laid back on the rock looking up at the sky. And soon she passed out. Alok taking advantage of the situation, bent closer to her face, admiring her, his eyes full of lust. He touched her face, putting a lock of hair behind her ear. He bent nearer closing his eyes.

Suddenly he felt someone crack his knuckles twisting his palm inflicting a huge amount of pain and he screamed. This disturbed Sharon and she woke up with a jolt. "You thought about it, that was your first mistake" came a voice behind them. Sharon was puzzled at what was happening. She looked at Swayam's anger filled eyes and understood what might have happened. She woke up and ran farther from the 2 of them. "And you thought you can fool us all, that was your second mistake" continued Swayam inflicting more pain with each word. "And you thought you would get away with it, that was your third mistake. And for that, you will pay" Swayam continued the torture. He could cut those hands and throw them in the freaking river for all he cared. How dare he touch Sharon, with those hands, and with those intentions. To say Swayam was furious was an understatement. Alok continued to scream. "Swayam, leave him. Please" begged Sharon. She was scared. She knew when she saw Swayam's eyes that he was hell furious. And it was her fault too. She mentally slapped herself a thousand times. But right now, she was scared. "Swayam, please" she yelled again. Swayam did not even look at her. She sat there, grabbing her knees tears flowing uncontrollably. Swayam did not know what to do. He wanted to beat the shit out of Alok and ask Sharon if she was feeling okay. Getting his priorities straight, he left Alok's hand. He went to Sharon, grabbed her hand, and started walking away. Sharon followed him sobbing without saying a word.

They reached the guesthouse. Everybody was back to normal and were sitting outside talking. Swayam took Sharon inside the guesthouse and locked the door. The gang stood stunned at this. An angry Swayam and a crying Sharon was all they saw, and panic striked them.

Swayam locked the door behind him and turned to face Sharon. She couldn't meet his eyes. Swayam felt uncomfortable. "Are you okay?" he asked, his voice surprisingly low. Sharon nodded still sobbing. He searched for some water and gave it to her. She drank it without refusing. She felt like a little child and Swayam felt like he needed to smack her head to get her back to reality. He took deep breaths trying to calm himself. Both stood there not speaking a word, just relaxing. And when finally Sharon could get the strength to look up at him, she said "I am sorry Swayam". This irked Swayam and he lost his cool. "What the hell were you thinking Sharon? I warned you. But still, you went ahead and did what you always do. And look what happened? Why are u deliberately trying to harm yourself? Please Sharon, for God's sake learn to take care of yourself. Cause not every time I'm.."

"Not every time what Swayam? You won't be there to save me?" Sharon snapped. She had heard enough. She had promised herself she won't let anybody hurt her, and Swayam was about to cross that line. She continued "You won't be my knight in shining armor? Why would you? You are not my friend. You are not my boyfriend. And I sure as hell don't need to hear this from an acquaintance." Oh, where was she going with this, she didn't know herself. She sighed. She didn't want to listen to Swayam's hurtful comments about how he doesn't want to be with her anymore.

Swayam was shocked at her response. He began to say something, but Sharon continued again "You know what Swayam? I am not sorry. Why should I apologize for anything? It's my life, and I am going to do whatever I want with it. You don't care anyway right? You are moving on from me. You want me to be selfless about you. You'd rather I stopped talking to you. So here I am. Minding my own business. So you cannot be yelling at me right now." She started crying again. Saying it out all loud, made it feel more real than she had ever thought about it.

Swayam did not know what to say. Sure, he had said all those things to her. But it hurt him to see how far they've come. From everything to nothing - again. He hated that she felt like that because of him. "Listen, I know I have said some things to you which I am not proud of." Swayam started to reason with her. All this anger was eating up both of them and he realized he should do something about it. Either make it or break it - once and for all. "But Sharon, I am always going to be protective about you. I am not stopping you from doing what you want. But I just want you to think before you do something which turns out to be so careless most of the time. I just want you to be okay"

"Careless? What the hell Swayam? Am I always that wrong to you? Everything I do, you have a problem with. Forget about what happened right now. But off late, it feels like even if I breath I am disappointing you. Honestly, it sucks. I say I love you, you have a problem. I say I don't love you, you have a problem. I show concern about you, you think it's fake. I am friends with Kria, you think that's fake. Do you really think I am that shallow? Really Swayam, is that what you think of me?" Sharon stepped closer daring him to answer her question. "No, Sharon. That's not who you are. I don't think of you as shallow. I have never.." Swayam said wondering what the right thing to say would be. "Then what is it? You call my love for you fake Swayam. Ironic, isn't it? Coming from you? You out of all people know how that feels. And still, you look into my eyes, and condemn my love. And I just don't know what to do when you say something like that. I feel helpless Swayam. Do you not see it? Do you really not see how much you affect me? And the worst part about all this, I know you love me too. Yet, here we are, deciding for ourselves that we aren't meant to be. That easy to give up on me? That easy to just think I am not worth it anymore? Finally, when I begin to understand my emotions, you left me. I did a lot of horrible things to you Swayam, I agree. And I am ready to apologize for that for the rest of my life. But none of it gives you any reason to behave the same way with me. An eye for an eye is only going to make us both blind and left alone." Sharon continued crying. She did not know what else to say or how else to express how she felt about him. She hated feeling like this - vulnerable. If Swayam didn't understand her now, he wouldn't understand her ever. She looked at him, her eyes daunting him to say something. "Sharon, I .. I am scared" whispered Swayam. "I have always loved you, but I am just scared. I can't bear losing you again Sharon. I want to believe everything you just said to me, and I do believe you. Even when I don't believe you, I believe you. That's how much my heart trusts you. Going through all this, it just feels so hard. Oh, Sharon, I don't know what to do" he goes closer to her standing just infront of her. Sharon's eyes relaxed, "I am also scared. I have been scared all my life and that is the reason I have pushed you away all this while Swayam. But I just want you to give me one chance. We owe it to ourselves, don't we? I just don't want to be scared alone. I am willing to be scared with you, if you are" Sharon closed her eyes. This was it. If he chose her, she would do anything to be with him for the rest of her life. But if he didn't, they would forget everything when they walk out that door, and never look back to this chapter of their lives. She waited. What was it going to be?

Swayam looked at her vulnerable face. He knew how hard all of this was to her. And despite anything, he loved her. He would never be able to change that fact. Is it really so bad to give this another chance? He leaned closer to her face, cupping her head in his hands and kissed her slightly. He felt Sharon smiling under his lips, and he said "I love you Sharon". Sharon hugged him tightly relaxing and drawing deep breaths and screamed "I love you too Swayam. I love you too"

Oh, it felt good to love and be loved!

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