FF: a heartbeat is felt ( post Ben track); ch. 3 updated pg. 5 feb. 4

divyavm thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#1
I have never written a fan fiction but was inspired to do so as I so wanted to imagine how this backwaas track will end. Here is my take. Would love your thoughts and comments- good or bad. Would love to hear your thoughts on how this track will end,

So here goes- it starts off with the last scene of the promo:

Chapter 1

Everything blacked out around him . . . Jodha was in his arms seemlingly lifeless. The moments of the past few days flew by him . . . Jodha fighting and pleading for him to believe that Benezir is a vishkanya and vowing to save his life. Jodha had always been right . . . He had been blinded by fury. There were so many wrongs he had to correct. He jerked himself back to the present . . . While there was a lot to be done, at present nothing mattered more than saving his Jodha Begum's life. His Jodha Begum.

He quickly lifted Jodha and took her towards her hojra. He ordered the hakim to come with him. He had almost reached her room when he stopped- he winced and remembered his words that he would not step into the room. Not that it mattered more than Jodha's life, but an even better thought came to his mind. He would take Jodha to his room- where she would be always under his eyes and care. She would be the safest there.

Jalal continued walking towards his own hojra and carefully placed Jodha on his bed. He immediately moved out of the way for hakim sahiba.

As he looked on, Jalal reflected on how blind and foolish he had been in anger. It was time to correct his mistakes. He called for Atga Khan- he made sure Benezir was now arrested. He would deal with her later.

He went over to console a distraught Hamida Bano. He knelt beside her and ensured her that nothing would happen to Jodha Begum- "Ammijaan, God will not let anything happen to someone with such pure intentions."

The waiting was difficult as the treatment continued but that was nothing compared to the difficulties he had given to Jodha. He had felt the pain along with her but yet had gone on hurting her. He said to himself, "Just open your eyes Jodha Begum, there is so much I have to tell you - and this time it is from my heart." After this incident, he could not deny that he had a heart that was anxiously beating for Jodha Begum and her recovery.


...

Index:
Chapter 1: page 1
Chapter 2: page 2
Chapter 3: page 5

Edited by divyavm - 11 years ago

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petrichorr thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#2
Lovely! Beautifully written.Just about 30 minutes ago the same thought struck me and I wrote it on another thread...That may be he would take her to his Hojra...as his resolve would come into his mind...
I noticed a few others also think in the same lines...
Considering the thought has stuck quite a few of us, can we hope this is what might happen😉
SUMESHNI thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#3
Amazing start 👏
Plz plz continue soon and plz pm me when u do

bokul thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#4
very well written
can u continue this please ?
ROBSTENLOVER thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#5
Its a really awsme ff.
Plz pm me when u update.
divyavm thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#6
Thanks everyone for your encouraging words for my first FF.
New to navigating the forums- will try to PM folks when I update.

I will try to update soon.
mesmeric893 thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#7
beautifully written but you should have continued this
update soon pls
fatma201 thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#8
Very nice post. I am also thinking the same but I dont want CVs to degrade Jalals character bcoz of guilt
Mishika123 thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#9
Omg ! dear ! its amazing ! 👍🏼
loved it n nice start do continue soon !
n don't forgot to pm me ! 😉
--Janvie-- thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#10
Awesome take yaar👏Really loved it.❤️ 😳 ❤️

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