CHAPTER 16
It was around nine p.m. when they finally stopped to get some rest. Mawhari would be a two-day drive and being behind the wheel for the day was beginning to take its toll on him. Spotting a small hotel Sugni advised that they stop so he could get some rest otherwise they might have to sleep in the car not sure if they would see another again.
After taking her turn in the shower first Sugni came into the room, lying on the big comfortable bed, oh this was heaven, she thought. Unwittingly thoughts starting swirling in her head ... of some of the comments the girls made making her blush. For the first time since the temple they were alone. She sat up her eyes going to the bathroom door, would he want to...She gulped . "oh stop it Sugni..." she chided herself. Well they were married and married people did that right? Was she ready for that? She began biting into her thumb nail nervously. She felt like there was a hole where her stomach used to be and it was filled with butterflies.
The door of the bathroom opened and Vickram stepped out. Haai Sita miya what am I supposed to do? She thought silently...OK...OK stay calm, don't be nervous, every one dose this right? She observed him silently ; as he hung his towel rather neatly on the back of one of the dining chairs. He placed his dirty laundry in a bag neatly back into the duffel bag and zipping it up . Her eyes went to her towel was waddled in a ball on top of her suitcase, and she just dumped her dirty clothes in one of the inside compartments , the suitcase was still unzipped, she felt like a slob.
"You still awake?" he asked her , taking a seat on the sofa.
"Uh Yeah..." She said, frowning. Why was he sitting there? He Yawned then to her surprise he stretched out his 5" 7' frame on the four foot sofa. Not a comfortable position..
"What are you doing?" She asked
Hmm..going to sleep..." He answered softly sounding like he was half way there already.
"You can't sleep there!" She said, he turned his head to look at her. "I mean the couch is too small and this bed is extra-large..."
"I am fine here , don't worry..." he said
"No! that is not fair...you've been driving all day and you should be comfortable..."
"I am comfortable Sugni, just get some rest...I'll sleep on the couch" He said
"But you don't have to...I mean" She fumbled when she saw his expression, she could feel the heat on her cheeks. " I mean we're married right. It doesn't matter anymore." Somehow her fingernails looked pretty interesting, she did not think she could look at him.
"I think this is best for now...hmmm?" he replied . "it's late let's just sleep." He said turning his head to the opposite side . She stared at him for a moment, there was no way he could be comfortable on that sofa . Without covers or a pillow. And she could not in good conscience sleep on this king sized bed peacefully.
Sighing she got up and went over to the couch, and lay on the floor. She closed her eyes trying to find a comfortable spot , it was not easy considering the nice soft bed she was just on. She groaned in frustration and she turned again.
She could feel his eyes on her . She opened her eyes find him staring down at her from the sofa. His head propped in his hand looking down at her.
"Now what are you doing?" He asked sounding like he was talking to a child.
"Trying to sleep.." She answered sighing sadly.
"On the floor?" She nodded, making a sad face. He smiled a bit. And sighed.
"And what's wrong with the bed..."
"Ahh the bed..so soft, so big , sooo comfortable...and so empty." She let out a fake sniffle looking at the bed longingly.
So why aren't you on it.?" He asked
"Because SOMEBODY insists on sleeping on a couch...So I have to sleep here." She said
"I told you I was comfortable here.."
"But I am not..." She said..."And I won't be comfortable sleeping there knowing you are here. Since we are supposed to share everything ...well if you are there then I am here...now Good night...!" She said turning on her side she closed her eyes, and waited ...and waited ...and waited...Did he go to sleep ?she wondered.
" Hey Bhagwan...Get up!" Ahhh ! It worked; she had to stop herself from smiling...
"huh?" She said.. trying to look confused.
"Oyie...you can stop with the act... get up...you win we'll share the bed!"
She let out a happy yelp and she got up, laughing.
Vickram shook his head mumbling about her being a stubborn and a drama queen. Getting off the sofa he followed her to the bed lying down facing the wall.
" Happy now?" He asked.
"Yep..." She said, yawning.
"Good night.." He said
"night"
******\\\\\\//////*****
Sugni awoke the next morning to find the bed empty. Where did he go? She wondered. Getting up she knocked on the bathroom door..."Vickram?" No answer.
His bag was in the corner, maybe he went out for a walk. Taking the opportunity she went into the bath room to get ready to leave. Coming back out a few minutes later, she saw that he had returned. He looked lost in thought.
"Hey Good morning ! Where did you run off to this morning..." She asked.
"Nowhere just went to check on the car..." Vickram said. Truth was he needed some time to clear his head, to put his actions into perspective. When he woke up to her next to him it was like a sweet form of torture for him, here he had everything he ever wished for Sugni , next to him with the title of his wife...yet she was not.
He had to remember that she was acting on instinct and uncertainty ...but he knew better. An although he would do anything to forget all that and move on from the past, his demons would not let him.
"Is everything alright?" She asked.
"Yes everything is fine... why don't you order us some breakfast and I'll go grab a shower..."
"ok...what would you like?"
"Tea...and anything you wish..." He said making his way to the bathroom. Nodding her head she did as requested.
After she placed the order she finished packing her suitcase. Her eye catching a little gift that Amma gave her as a wedding gift.
There was a knock on the door that was answered by Vickram, who came out the bathroom. Receiving the breakfast he tipped the waiter and closed the door. He placed it on the table and turned to find Sugni standing next to him with a smile on her face.
"What?' he asked.
Silently she looked at him and brought her hand up to him like an offering, she was holding what looked like a gold and black chain. A mangalsutra. He swallowed. God was really bound on torturing him some more it seemed.
"Amma gave it to me as a gift...she said all married women wear it. I thought maybe you could put it on me." She said looking at him expectantly.
Vickram never took his eyes from her hand, as he closed his eyes ..."Um..we don't ha...I mean..." he stuttered.
Sugni looked at him closely, he kept looking at her hand like she was holding a time bomb. The realization dawned on her that this marriage was not something he wanted , but he did it to save her. She was so stupid.
Slowly she closed her fist..."Oh" She said softly "I get it...I am so stupid na..." She shook her head as she tried to laugh but could not . She turned away from him, to hide the hurt that crossed her face.
"You did all of that at the wedding to shut them up...everything just went too far... that wasn't supposed to happen. I- I- I am the dumb one who took it for real..." The past two days had to be the most adventurous in her life, but it was the most alive and secure she felt. But there was no way someone like him would want to marry her. She blinked her eyes , these stupid tears where did they come from.
She caught sight of herself through the mirror of the dresser, the sindoor on her forehead, she happily applied, not once did she think to question it. It just felt right. But the truth was maybe he wanted to get her out of there, but there was no way he wanted her as a burden for life.
Slowly she raised her hand to remove the little red mark effectively putting an end to this charade, but was stopped when she felt his hand on her shoulder. She turned to look at him. He shook his head , no. Taking her hand he took the chain preparing to put it on her.
"No! please..I don't want you to feel you have to do this...I understand...I'll..."
"Shhh...no one is compelling me..." He said as he attached the mangalsutra around her neck.
Softly she touched the chain around her neck, then looked at him. "You mean this...you really want this?" She asked looking at him .He nodded.
Feeling overwhelmed with emotion she hugged him tightly, resting her head on his chest , as she began to cry . "You really mean this, you're not just doing this because you feel you have to..." She asked again.
Slowly he returned her hug blinking back his own tears ... "No ..Sugni...I mean it...I do."
"I-I love you." She said softly .
"I love you to.." He said sounded choked up. They stayed like that for a few minutes . She not wanting to let him go, as he comforted her. He would do anything to keep her happy and protected even if that meant living with the threat of her memory returning and her hatred . If this was how he was supposed to rectify his crimes, then so be it.
"Shhh don't cry." He said releasing her to look at her face. She blinked shaking her head. Gently wiping her face he said. "I am always here for you Sugni, you're not alone. As long as you want me here I'll be here." He said.
She frowned. "What does that mean?" She asked
"It means that ..you have nothing to worry about. I just want you to be happy that's all."
"I am happy with you. I am not afraid anymore."
"Good!" He smiled slightly "Because you don't have to be. Ok?" She nodded giving him a watery smile. They stared at each other , the tension between them pulsating. It would be so easy to cross that line...
"Uh...breakfast is getting cold, we should eat and hit the road , we have a long trip ahead." He said turning away breaking the connection.
"Ok..." She said moving away to get the breakfast ready.
Half hour after they were back on the road. The happiness she was feeling was visible on her face. She kept staring at Vickram wondering what their life would be like back in the village.
"So where we are going...are their other people there?" She asked.
"Yes..there is my mother, my brother and sister -in -law. My sister, Kuhu, she's married and lives not too far away. Then there is your Aunt, you used to live with."
"My aunt? What about my parents?" She asked
"uh,,Your mom passed away a few years ago and your dad well he was not exactly around." He said softly.
"ohh...I see.." She said looking out the window. Deep in thought.
"Hey..what's the matter?" He asked noting her morose expression, reaching over to hold her hand.
She shook her head, as she looked at him, entwining her fingers through his. "it's just , I should know these things, and I don't . What I am I going to say to them?..."I am sorry I don't know you?. It's like I am a stranger in my own life..." She said , voicing her fears.
"I know this is hard, don't worry everything will be fine. Remember what the Doctor said. Just take it easy, one day at a time and don't force anything,. It'll come back eventually."
"I know, but what if I mess up, I mean they might expect me to act someway and I don't know..or when they find out where I was..they might think.."
"Shhh relax ...that won't happen, they'll be happy to see you and know that you are alive. No one is going to judge you. Everything will be fine. Trust me." He said.
She let out a heavy sigh. "I guess you are right...I won't you're here na... everything will be fine."
Not wanting to spoil the mood she changed the subject, talking about the scenery they drove past and other mundane subjects. Lucky for her finding something to talk about was never a problem, She could find even a dead leaf fascinating, getting a response from him however was not that easy. Hmm seems like she was married to that strong silent type., she thought looking at him, as he paid extra attention to the road. Again she wondered what it would take to get him to smile...really smile...or even laugh.
They made a few pit stops for food and bathroom breaks , it was a long and hard drive but he did want to make it back to Mawhari before the next day. Somewhere along the way sleepiness kicked in, and she ended up nodding off. When she did open her eyes it was nightfall.
"Where are we?" She asked looking around.
"Bundel Kand..."
"Where?"
"About 15 minutes from Mawhari..." he said
"We're almost there...Oh...what time is it?" She asked blinking, as she stretched out her sleepiness.
"Hmm maybe about nine I guess..." he answered.
So this was where she was from? She thought as she looked around. In the lights of a few street lights, there was not much to make out, it all looked strange to her.However as they entered the village, there was something eerily familiar about it. Maybe because she expected to somehow know this place , perhaps it was her subconscious , there was something about the small wooden somewhat run down houses that seemed familiar. She could not pin point what it was but there was something, about that tree in the square looking like a dark shadow in the night. She closed her eyes as faint voices , tugged at her brain, words she could not make out ...shadowy figures running , laughter...it seemed so familiar yet nothing was.
Taking her hand she rubbed her temple gently, this was not a good time for this, please she thought. The dull ache in her head started. She took a few deep breaths hoping to hold it off until they got to where they were going.
"We're here..." She heard him say after a while.
"Huh? Oh ...Ok.." She said opening her eyes she looked , blinked then looked again at the house he had parked the car in front of. It was huge.Somehow this was not what she expected at all, one of the little huts she saw yes, this ...this ...this...mansion . No.
She turned to look at him. "ahhh you work here or something?" she asked. That made sense, given what she saw of the way he lived in the past few days.
"Not exactly...I live here...this is my home, our home." He said.
Sugni thought her jaw crashed on the floor... She swallowed. Ok then... Suddenly she felt akward...her head started again.
"Come on..." He said taking her their bags out and moving towards the building silently she followed.
He knocked on the door and waited for a few minutes. She was beginning to think maybe no one was at home. When slowly the massive door opened.
A small woman stood on the other side , dressed in a sari. Slowly the look of shock crept on her face as she took in her visitors.
"Vic...Vickram...Oh my God ...Vickram! " She said softly , unbelievably . Then she embraced him in a manner of a mother meeting her long lost child.
Vickram dropped the bags as he returned her hug, his own eyes filling with tears.
"Maa..." he said softly, his voice filled with emotion.
"ohh my Son...my son..." She pulled back to look at him "Where have you bee...Oh my God ,...Su"Sugni?" She said her eyes finally catching the movement behind Vickram to the person standing behind him.
Letting go of him, she moved in fornt of her...
"You're ...You're ...She is alive? How...she was...Sugni?" She said flustered looking from one to the other, taking them both in .
Moving slowly towards her as though she was seeing a ghost. Sugni took in the exchange, feeling like an intruder. That voice, again that eerie sense that this was familiar. She began feeling somewhat suffocated. Her head was feeling heavy.
Another person calling her Sugni , yet she had no idea who this was. Before She knew it , the room began spinning, she felt herself falling...but could not quite stop herself.
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