Originally posted by: ronshaan
sugni jee one question
why did u stop using that mantra and used it again when u were with vikram (that nightmare u had with him) ?
Well Ronitji, when Thakur Saab and i were separated...i gradually lost faith in everything including myself..i was no longer the Sugni you knew initially..my faith in Sita Maya was not that strong as it was..that night when Thakur Saab asked me to spend the night with him...i was shattered, completely devastated as the man i respected so much was asking me to do something like that...yes i will admit that i was still in love with him at that point and still trusted him...deep down i knew he was hurt by my actions but i just couldn't admit my feelings to him..i just couldn't risk the consequences of doing so...that night the little faith that i was holding on to was gone..i had to save Chote Thakur's life at any cost and i knew the state Thakur Saab was in..he would have got Chote Thakur killed ..i was in a fix so i had to turn to the dagad magad ..it was my only savior at that point..i remember it helped me alot whenever i was in a dilemma.
one more question
why did u go to spend one night with vikram if u had choices like
1. go back and seek help from Maa saheb / police ?
2. run away
3. attack him like u did with niranjan
why u always choose the easy way ?
That's a very good question Ronitji..i really don't like to think about the past but since you want to know i'll tell you...when Thakur Saab had asked me to spend one night with him..i was completely shocked by his words.. shocked that those words were coming from a man of such high principles...i agreed as i was helpless..i didn't want to get the family members involved ..Ma Saheb was already angry with me at that point...i couldn't inform Chote Thakur either as i had to save his life...even after that night happened i just couldn't muster the courage to tell him what i did..i know it was wrong...i did alot of stupid things which up to today i haven't completely forgiven myself for...as for informing the police...no i couldn't do that...how could i bear to see my Thakur Saab behind bars?..and i could not attack the man i love moreover, look at Thakur Saab's size ...i would have been crazy to attack him..i know he wouldn't have hurt me but still...i couldn't have ran away either as it was a question of Chote Thakur's life...which was equally important to me. Ronitji to tell you the truth..that night..i was sure that Thakur Saab would not take advantage of me...i always knew he was not like the other thakurs...my lashing out at him..was a way of suppressing my true feelings for him..it was stupid, i agree..i really can't understand the way i thought during those times...those tears were tears of helplessness...i didn't want to spend the night with him..i even begged him to find another way out but he didn't listen. Ronitji would you do me a favour, please? next time my husband comes here ask him why he suggested i spend one night with him when there were better options of repaying a loan..i too would love to hear his answer..i would ask him myself but i can't bring myself to do so face to face.
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Sugniji
I see you still like to have a laugh - your mia and TVS best of friends 😆😆
TVS better watch out - you in a jealous mode would be injurious to his health !!!!! Although he always looks cute when he blushes.😳
I am glad to hear that you are enjoying married life.
But tell me how have the locals reacted to your marriage. I mean you a bedni marrying a Thakur which they made a huge issue about at the beginning but now added to that you married his nephew and then disappeared and came back and married him. Surely they must be really having a field day with the gossip and making snide comments and what about Jwala - how is he reacting?
Well yes, my and Thaukur Saab's relationship hasn't been fully accepted by the villagers as yet ..they still think that a bedni and a thakur can't have a normal relationship...you know Thakur Saab and i were on our way to the mandir one day and before going into the mandir... one of the other thakurines came up to us and told Thakur Saab when he's finished with me she has another bedni in mind for him...can you believe that Payalji?...i was actually in tears...as for Thakur Saab well you can only imagine how he reacted to that...but that is exactly how the people are behaving i know it's to be expected after all that i have done...it would look bad in the eyes of society but i have faith in my relationship with Thakur Saab...and as a thakurine it's something that i'm in the process of changing...it will take some time but eventually i'm sure that together we can change the mentality of these people and all of them will one day wholeheartedly accept our relationship..once thakur saab is with me..i can achieve anything.
As for Jwala thakur, didn't you hear ?..Thakur Saab went to his haveli one day and found him in a compromising position with Kuhu thakurine... he gave Jwala thakur a beating of a lifetime...his hands, feet and ribs are broken, his skull is fractured and he is suffering from internal bleeding...right now he's in the hospital and the doctors said that he will be in there for about six months or so as for Digvijay...when he heard what Thakur Saab did to his father he left Mahwari never to be seen or heard from again .
Edited by sara1993 - 11 years ago
