a mother instinct to protect her child - Page 6

Originally posted by: hillydee

There is some constant misunderstanding on this forum, and it is very unfortunate that no matter how many posts, completely clear on us Sugvi Fans feeling, opposing views cannot understand:

1. We under NO circumstances condone Vikram Lying, I am shouting this from the roof top. How many times and ways must we explain ourselves?

2. We are upset with Gulabiya METHODS in handling the situation, from day one, because a lot of her emotions are based on her bad experience with Thakurs. Her first thought was not to trust Vikram and she continued until there was actually something to not trust him about.

Gulabiya cannot see any Thakur as good, and she clearly stated that at the to be wedding. She said to Sugni, I told you he is just like any other Thakur who just wants you as a plaything. We know that is NOT true, even though he kept the new knowledge of his wife's existence, he NEVER saw Sugni as a plaything. I am asking those who have not been watching the show from the VERY FIRST episode, to not assume how this story started based on the past weeks of negative shown about Vikram. Also, I am KINDLY asking those who feel Vikram is too old for her to not force us to believe he saw Sugni as a plaything. Whether or not the cvs had planned to show him negative, that is NOT what they showed for the first weeks of this show. They showed a Good man who did everything for Sugni and her family, even when the whole community was against them, due to her Loser Father TJS.

Hilly, the bolded words are what the viewers see the story as. This is becoz veiwers are presented a 360 degree of the story, right...so as a veiwer this is the conclusion, until the Reva issue started. Personally, the age issue doesn't bother me, although there are arguments both for and against that can be very strong...

Anyway, now the underlined portion, the Cvs were trying to present Gulabiya's POV. As a girl. woman and a mother, she has seen any thakurs to be kind to bednis. so, when TVS became overtly helpful, what could her bedni instinct tell her. Actually, when a boy become overtly helpful/interested in a girl, most moms will start wondering about the motive of the boy...surely, he isn't just showing an interest on the girl because of a wondeful heart...what does he wants from this girl??? Question arises in parents specially if it's the daughter. Indians actually are very over-protective and lot of them rather could go for an arrange marriage then a love marriage, as a result, a girl/boy friendship is taken with a huge amount of salt😉

Gulabiya chose to live the life of a Bedni, whether or not her family made her do it, I am still trying to figure out what she expected from a MARRIED man, because her life was that of a paid mistress. She even had Sugni with a Thakur, so I cannot for the life of me understand her bitterness, when this was a choice. With that said, I feel sad she had to live this life, but I would prefer if she did not take it out on others, who had no control over her demise. She said Thakurs sees Bednis as play things, but Vikram ask to marry Sugni. Vikram did not know he still had a wife when he made this decision. Yes he did not tell the truth when he realised, BUT he had every intention, because that was the Conversation he had with Dhanuma one day at the Old Mansion.

Whether Gulabiya chose a life of bedni is a debatable issue…a person who is illiterate, living in a closed society doesn't necessarily have a lot of options in my opinion. Take a illirate farmer who goes and take loan from the local landlord in India instead of the Bank. These landlords charge them an arm and a leg as interest often taking away the very land, the loan was taken for. Sounds e fabricating this story, glance through any Indian newspaper and you will see a farmer committed suicide because he had no option and this is happening when? Today, right this minute, So, why isn't this poor farmer going to a bank or applying for some government schemes available. If I start writing, that itself will become a serial. But among other reason, they simply don't have the awareness of the possible options and just blindly follow whatever they father and grandfather simply did…Same is how I see Gulabiya, she was young, the norm of the bedni tribe was to do sar dhakai. Her mother died and since both her stupid brothers were lazy of the first order – she did what was the most acceptable profession. So, what do we expect from her – as a mother she could indulge Sugni to dream of a different life, but probably she knew subconsciously that Sugni could be nothing else then a bedni like herself, of course when Sugni wanted. Beside, Gulobiya was able enough to encourage her as long as she could when until, she became sick. For us it's very difficult to really be in their shoe . the education we have received has help us gain a different outlook of the world…but if we start applying the same scale on them, we are only being harsh and unjust to them…

Underlined, TVS had the intention, but somehow he didn't do it, instead he kept lying and rushing the wedding…this is how I see it…

She said "Don't worry the truth will come out soon, and everyone will understand."

Shortly after that Gulabiya saw him going to the mansion one day etc., etc. and followed him, found out...eventually they had a confrontation some other day etc etc. She challenged him, he told her what happened , the he did not know his wife was alive, and that she was insane.

Gulabiya response, was to say he is LYING, and she challenged to Sugni's love. The lady did not think about her daughter's feelings, all she thought about was yes "another Thakur who wants a plaything."

She could have asked him what are his plans since he just found out about his wife, will he divorce her etc. etc. NO she never thought of a mature, rational way ONCE to handle this situation. There is a saying "Never eat porridge while it is hot." Gulabiya ate the porridge hot and now EVERYONE has gotten burnt.

Again Gulo is illiterate…these poor people almost live hand to mouth literately. Do you remember the episode where the mama was excited because Sugni got money and they could eat chicken…how excited they were…exactly that happens in real life…they don't get to eat decent food until someone earn that money in whatever way. So, to these people do you think they will think of lawyers and divorces? First of all, do they even know if there is a thng called divorce? Hindu marriages are not void and in ancient days polygamy was acceptable. The Indian constitution has made polygamy illegal and instituted divorce. To a lot of people, divorce isn't acceptable nor do they know about it. In fact getting into a legal issues is avoid like plague by poor people many because being illiterate they are most mislead and abused (putting it mildly) by the system and the lawyers make a fool of them charging huge money and unnecessarily dragging court cases…So, in this scenario, I don't see and illiterate person asking about a plan…again our education has given us the edge that these people clearly lack…And what feeling should Gulo consider of Sugni, when she sees that TVS is clearly cheating….she acted as her primitive instinct governed her…Actually, most Indian will in Indian directly confront someone…Indian are extremely direct people…never seen and Indian who ask someone at their first meeting if he/she is married?😉

This thread in particular is mainly about her NEED for her Public Humiliation of Sugni, why just when she is getting ready for the wedding ceremony? They found Reva BEFORE that, why was she planning to bring this lady out in front of guests in wedding attire, to show how bad Vikram is, never once did she think of her daughter's humiliation. So, that is one of our main contention.

Well, public humiliation is pretty much part of Indian serials, right, you know it how many we had in our favorite serial?? Done, to get the TRps hogh. But on a serious note, sometimes, in these remotely areas public humiliation is very much part of averyday life, often issues are broungh forward in front of the village (example are of course, wife having extramarital affair and she is tried in front of all vilagers and then stoned – events like these are again found in everyday news, right?). Besides, Gulo has no status in front of the society so if this public humiliation of TVS didn't happen, who do yu think society will believe and side with in the long run???/TVS, without a doubt…

Just to add a point, Gulabiya NEVER initially supported Sugni's dream to be married, it was Vikram's disgust when he saw her do Rai dance, that made her fully stand up and decide never to do Rai for Thakurs. When Gulabiya realised Sugni was serious, then she started supporting. Gulabiya had accepted Sugni would do Rai, and I never saw her fighting for her other times, when the Thakurs tried to rape her etc. or when her siblings forced Sugni to do Rai. So, when you say Motherly instincts that is very subjective and selective with Gulabiya.

She never knew anything different...so giving her the honor of a independent thinker isn't right...most people just follow the crowd in a village...only people with education and awareness stand apart...so, yes, it was Sugni who made her aware ogf her dreams...I see it a natural characterization...

3. Yes, we want Sugvi together, it is not our Fault the CVS decide to turn Vikram Negative before our eyes. Fine some people don't like Vikram, because they feel he is too old for Sugni. Please respect that we do. Also please respect the feelings of the people on this forum who are married to older men.

What is wrong is wrong Hilly. I am not for Sugvi for the storyline so far. Hell, I don't even like Aditya...in fcat, is a romamnce angel really necessary...yes, it is necessary for Zee because of demographies and TRPs...

Not to worry a lot of us will soon leave the forum, because we don't need to waste time on another show gone wrong stupidly.

Thanks for reading this post. I am not even trying to offend. I am just tired of us Sugvi fans being misunderstood. Not because we like the Jodi, does not mean we condone bad behaviour. We have good Sanskaars too. 😃

Originally posted by: Laila2009

I understand your point, but here is the question, the worst thing that would have happened is she would have been living in sin - right. The other option would be living as a bedini. Of course it would have been better of TVS to have given Sugni a choice, we all know that but he didn't and so this matter does not factor into the equation here. We take what we have and we look at the two options - which one would have left her better off? Married to TVS or living the life of a Bedini becuase unless she marries Aditya, she doesn't have much going for her right now.

Originally posted by: XAiShBaBy08X

I don't know whether the show will head in this direction...but I think they should show Sugni finding another option. I think she should stand up on her feet and find another way to live a respectable life just like how she tried to earn money by doing the Krishna drama.

Why should marriage be the only option? In real life, the bedni's should find a way to break out of this terrible tradition...that doesn't mean that all of the bedni's should find themselves a thakur husband or someone else to marry.

I hope they show something like this instead of the Adi/Sugni track. It would be a LOT more interesting.

Originally posted by: XAiShBaBy08X

I don't think you're understanding me either. I'm saying that marriage shouldn't be the ONLY option. Now that they showed Vikram lying, and they stopped the marriage from happening, which in my opinion, was a good thing since she would have become something along the lines of a mistress in the eyes of the society, they should show her doing something else to stand up on her feet.

I don't want them to jump right into the Adi/Sugni romance.

Afterwards, the marriage track should come up...and hopefully, by then, she has someone else in her life or Vikram has redeemed himself.

I have done some research...even though there isn't a lot of stuff out there about the Bedni and other similar tribes. I understand that it is extremely hard to come out of that mindset. And from what I read from your comments, I think that you're trying to say that if some of them get married then their way of thinking will change. I think this is an option that could work...but I'm thinking of obstacles that come in the way. It is probably hard to find people who want to get married to Bedni women...which the whole caste system and all. Also, I have read interviews in which some stated that they would earn a lot more for their families by getting sold instead of settling down and getting married. In fact, I read somewhere where they said that the breadwinner of the family (the Rai dancer like Gulabiya) has a lot more respect than the married women in their culture and families. Also, it is hard for Bedni men to find Bedni women to marry because they would much rather earn money...and yes I read that somewhere too. So, from my research, the biggest problem is that they are earning a lot of money from this practice and getting respect for it too. The biggest solution I see is education for both women AND men and an introduction to better jobs.

I really have done research...and I looked this stuff up a while ago...I am one of those fans that HAVE watched this show from day ONE. In fact, this show originally attracted my family and me because of the new concept of the Bedni tribe...and how Sugni wants to break away from their traditions.

Do not get me wrong. I am not accusing you of anything...I'm not saying that you wanted the illegal wedding to occur. I'm just presenting my view.

Originally posted by: Kalapi

Xia, you are right, they earn more by being a bedni, then being married to a guy. Think, who could marry them, certainly, not a educated engineer - a labourer who earn money doing seasonal day job and that job disappear once he become ill or handicapped...Most men from even a slightly respectable family will not marry a bedni...the caste sytem in India is I guess as racisn is in USA...so you decide as you wish😃

And yes, ot of NGO are trying to change the tradition and getting them marraiage, but if the marriage is to a poor labourer and family is starving with no steady income, it becomes a catch 22...