a mother instinct to protect her child - Page 5

Originally posted by: Kalapi

No, to me if I become a mistress of anybody, I could rather know fully well, the fire I am jumping into. If a man who confesses all the time that he loves me and then marries me only to know that he is already married to someone else ' I could be devastated. Wasn't I (being so loved by him) entitled to the truth, or can I be just taken for granted, because this man 'thinks' he loves me. Isn't respect of 'myself" part of his 'so ' called" love??

In that scenario, the whole act of marriage was a deception and illusion created to convince me and make me a bakra who doesn't know that she is going to be slaughtered soon. If I become a mistress, I want to walk into it knowing and not on any other pretext. Actually there are men who will tell girls that they love them to destruction, only that the family doesn't support their union. In that scenario they will convince these poor girls who are blindly in love that even if there are married, they only love this particular girl. The girl believes and start living with the (after performing the so called marriage in a temple or something or putting the sindoor), only to realize over the year what is the difference between a respectable life and a life of mistress. Slowly the whole notion of that unique love falls around them and any child from such a union is considered an illegitimate child. What respect do these girls and kids get'nothing. And the worst part is that the girl trusted the man and thought he loved her. What is love that cannot look beyond ones immediate need to what is good and better option for the 'loved' person? Not all things can be done/accepted or should be done in the name of love. And believe me; once the novelty of this all-encompassing love wears off, what remains is that stark reality of the life of no respect from the society. Very soon, the girl's parent also start not to recognizing her'what is their fault, they too live in that very society.

The fact is that Sugni, when she came to know, didn't 'marry' if you could call that - Vikram. She chose to walk off. Gulabiya did do the right thing by exposing Vikram. Now, even if Sugni become someone mistress or does the Sar dhakai, she does it with the full knowledge of what she is getting into and not under the false pretext of 'love" . Then she is 'choosing' this life with her fully sense on, of being a mistress and not someone else is doing ion her behalf, where she isn't even aware of what kind of fire she is jumping into. Love, to me is the most over-rated word, but, most girls after marriage realizes soon enough that before love comes respect and compassion and the value of 'her' to her spouse. If these are there, love will soon be there too. This to me is the real difference'maybe, I am a minority in this line of logic, but the person that I am I do it knowing fully well what I am getting into'.

Originally posted by: Kalapi

No, to me if I become a mistress of anybody, I could rather know fully well, the fire I am jumping into. If a man who confesses all the time that he loves me and then marries me only to know that he is already married to someone else ' I could be devastated. Wasn't I (being so loved by him) entitled to the truth, or can I be just taken for granted, because this man 'thinks' he loves me. Isn't respect of 'myself" part of his 'so ' called" love??

In that scenario, the whole act of marriage was a deception and illusion created to convince me and make me a bakra who doesn't know that she is going to be slaughtered soon. If I become a mistress, I want to walk into it knowing and not on any other pretext. Actually there are men who will tell girls that they love them to destruction, only that the family doesn't support their union. In that scenario they will convince these poor girls who are blindly in love that even if there are married, they only love this particular girl. The girl believes and start living with the (after performing the so called marriage in a temple or something or putting the sindoor), only to realize over the year what is the difference between a respectable life and a life of mistress. Slowly the whole notion of that unique love falls around them and any child from such a union is considered an illegitimate child. What respect do these girls and kids get'nothing. And the worst part is that the girl trusted the man and thought he loved her. What is love that cannot look beyond ones immediate need to what is good and better option for the 'loved' person? Not all things can be done/accepted or should be done in the name of love. And believe me; once the novelty of this all-encompassing love wears off, what remains is that stark reality of the life of no respect from the society. Very soon, the girl's parent also start not to recognizing her'what is their fault, they too live in that very society.

The fact is that Sugni, when she came to know, didn't 'marry' if you could call that - Vikram. She chose to walk off. Gulabiya did do the right thing by exposing Vikram. Now, even if Sugni become someone mistress or does the Sar dhakai, she does it with the full knowledge of what she is getting into and not under the false pretext of 'love" . Then she is 'choosing' this life with her fully sense on, of being a mistress and not someone else is doing ion her behalf, where she isn't even aware of what kind of fire she is jumping into. Love, to me is the most over-rated word, but, most girls after marriage realizes soon enough that before love comes respect and compassion and the value of 'her' to her spouse. If these are there, love will soon be there too. This to me is the real difference'maybe, I am a minority in this line of logic, but the person that I am I do it knowing fully well what I am getting into'.

Originally posted by: hillydee

There is some constant misunderstanding on this forum, and it is very unfortunate that no matter how many posts, completely clear on us Sugvi Fans feeling, opposing views cannot understand:

1. We under NO circumstances condone Vikram Lying, I am shouting this from the roof top. How many times and ways must we explain ourselves?

2. We are upset with Gulabiya METHODS in handling the situation, from day one, because a lot of her emotions are based on her bad experience with Thakurs. Her first thought was not to trust Vikram and she continued until there was actually something to not trust him about.

Gulabiya cannot see any Thakur as good, and she clearly stated that at the to be wedding. She said to Sugni, I told you he is just like any other Thakur who just wants you as a plaything. We know that is NOT true, even though he kept the new knowledge of his wife's existence, he NEVER saw Sugni as a plaything. I am asking those who have not been watching the show from the VERY FIRST episode, to not assume how this story started based on the past weeks of negative shown about Vikram. Also, I am KINDLY asking those who feel Vikram is too old for her to not force us to believe he saw Sugni as a plaything. Whether or not the cvs had planned to show him negative, that is NOT what they showed for the first weeks of this show. They showed a Good man who did everything for Sugni and her family, even when the whole community was against them, due to her Loser Father TJS.

Gulabiya chose to live the life of a Bedni, whether or not her family made her do it, I am still trying to figure out what she expected from a MARRIED man, because her life was that of a paid mistress. She even had Sugni with a Thakur, so I cannot for the life of me understand her bitterness, when this was a choice. With that said, I feel sad she had to live this life, but I would prefer if she did not take it out on others, who had no control over her demise. She said Thakurs sees Bednis as play things, but Vikram ask to marry Sugni. Vikram did not know he still had a wife when he made this decision. Yes he did not tell the truth when he realised, BUT he had every intention, because that was the Conversation he had with Dhanuma one day at the Old Mansion.

She said "Don't worry the truth will come out soon, and everyone will understand."

Shortly after that Gulabiya saw him going to the mansion one day etc., etc. and followed him, found out...eventually they had a confrontation some other day etc etc. She challenged him, he told her what happened , the he did not know his wife was alive, and that she was insane.

Gulabiya response, was to say he is LYING, and she challenged to Sugni's love. The lady did not think about her daughter's feelings, all she thought about was yes "another Thakur who wants a plaything."

She could have asked him what are his plans since he just found out about his wife, will he divorce her etc. etc. NO she never thought of a mature, rational way ONCE to handle this situation. There is a saying "Never eat porridge while it is hot." Gulabiya ate the porridge hot and now EVERYONE has gotten burnt.

This thread in particular is mainly about her NEED for her Public Humiliation of Sugni, why just when she is getting ready for the wedding ceremony? They found Reva BEFORE that, why was she planning to bring this lady out in front of guests in wedding attire, to show how bad Vikram is, never once did she think of her daughter's humiliation. So, that is one of our main contention.

Just to add a point, Gulabiya NEVER initially supported Sugni's dream to be married, it was Vikram's disgust when he saw her do Rai dance, that made her fully stand up and decide never to do Rai for Thakurs. When Gulabiya realised Sugni was serious, then she started supporting. Gulabiya had accepted Sugni would do Rai, and I never saw her fighting for her other times, when the Thakurs tried to rape her etc. or when her siblings forced Sugni to do Rai. So, when you say Motherly instincts that is very subjective and selective with Gulabiya.

3. Yes, we want Sugvi together, it is not our Fault the CVS decide to turn Vikram Negative before our eyes. Fine some people don't like Vikram, because they feel he is too old for Sugni. Please respect that we do. Also please respect the feelings of the people on this forum who are married to older men.

Not to worry a lot of us will soon leave the forum, because we don't need to waste time on another show gone wrong stupidly.

Thanks for reading this post. I am not even trying to offend. I am just tired of us Sugvi fans being misunderstood. Not because we like the Jodi, does not mean we condone bad behaviour. We have good Sanskaars too. 😃

Originally posted by: hillydee

You have to understand we are watching the show about a community that still exists, they have not broken from this tradition.

Also, from a psychology point of view, the respectable marriage will have to happen, based on what these women have gone through, to make them feel better about themselves.

We who are free to do as we please, marry or not marry, can say anything and give a million solutions, but we will never understand how important it is for these women to get married and be loved and not live the life of a mistress. After they have accomplished that, then they can evolve into thinking more independently like us.

Who knows, maybe Sugni may be shown doing this, but the cvs don't seem to bright at making awesome story lines. No matter how they start out good, they always revert to the old silly way of making their stories. It is a Zee thing girl. 😆