Ankita/Naren non-consenual relationship - Page 5

Originally posted by: GManda72

Im finding it difficult to comprehend what exactly is being said here regarding the Naren-Ankita marriage. Naren -Ankita marriage started as a marriage of convenience for both sides. Ankita didn't volunteer. Rushali made the first move. She did not choose Ankita just like that. She had tried other girls earlier. But she pressurized Ankita precisely because Naren started calling her Ahana and started following her. Initially, he used to call her Ankita.

Rushali wanted the marriage because the doctors told her that her son "might" be cured if any girl can take Ahana's place . Ankita per se hardly suited her status etc. But she wanted the marriage out of love for her son. Similarly Ankita accepted her offer out of love for her siblings. Hoping to give them a better life. (It is fine to say that people live in poverty and so could she. But people live in poverty because they don't have an escape, not out of choice. And here Ankita was being offered a chance to better her siblings life)

So if Ankita is guilty , so is Rushali . In equal measure.

Once she was married, she chose to stay in the marriage despite witnessing naren's actual condition. Inspite of her loved ones telling her to quit. It was out of a sense of duty maybe, but it showed her character.

Naren wanted an immediate relationship but Ankita was not ready then.

Slowly she started appreciating the human side of the so-called mentally ill Naren. How he stood up for her umpteen times. How he supported her in Manasi's case against his own brother. She started respecting him and eventually loving him. And the marital relationship became an ideal one. She suffered a lot of insults, abuse and was thrown out again and again. But she never gave up. She tried to cure him and risked her life in the process. she started respecting her marriage. As far as she knew, the real Ahana was dead and would never come back. So naren, in whatever condition he was, was hers for keeps. And she was his. So if she consummated her marriage with him, how did she take advantage of him? Or rape him? Or use her power?

Having sexual relations is only a part of marriage. Marriage is way bigger than that. It is about mutual respect, supporting each other, standing up for each other and surviving bad times together. The naren-ankita marriage had all this. Not just rain and romance.

Now it will break. And Ankita will be the biggest loser with a husband who would not recognize her and a child whos identity is at stake. Naren may move on with Pari. So how is he a victim? He wont even have to feel guilty. And his family will most likely want to get rid of Ankita in lieu of some more money.

What of Ankita next. I hope that after mourning the heartbreak, they show her picking her life together. She should not give up on life like pari did. She has her siblings who love and respect her.She is a strong woman and I hope she is able to move on with her child. And eventually, I hope that they show her get someone who loves her for being Ankita. Just like Shashank once did.

At the end, I still don't get why Naren had to call himself Aman , when he met Pari as ahana. But its his wish, so ok. But I don't see why in the Aman-Ahana game, Ankita should lose, when she had nothing to do with it. And yet she is being blamed. Unfairly in my opinion.

Originally posted by: nikki1591

Before everyone starts hating on me for posting this, I ask that you think of this from a realistic and legal pov and not an emotional one that consists of fandom. The Naren/Ankita relationship is one that is non consenual. Naren never gave consent to marry Ankita because as a person with such severe mental issues to the point where he cannot recognize that he is talking to a different person, he is legally, morally, and emotionally unable to consent to any sort of relationship. Naren thinks he is married to Ahana, that the person he is having sexual relations with is Ahana. Courts have frequently ruled that those with disability, mental issues, and who are beyond comprehension due to intoxication are incapable of consent and in such cases it is not sex that occurs, but rape or sexual violence. Naren may like aspects of Ankita personality but he thinks that is an extension of Ahana personality, not a whole different person. He also thinks that him and Ankita share a history in London, that she llkes and makes pizza (which Ankita does not) that she likes dancing (which Ankita does not), that she worked in London and wears Western clothing (which Ankita never has and does not like). Ankita has decieved Naren into believing and thus has taken advanatge of him.Rushali may have taken advantage of Ankita poverty but that does not make Ankita actions of agreeing to marry Naren less deceptive. In effect, since Naren is mentally incapabale of consent the marriage between Naren/Ankita is null and void since it was forced and the act of consummation was not sex but rape. We can say how can a woman rape a man but we all know that rape is not always about the physical aspects but purely about mental conceptual aspects. A drunken woman may have sex with a sober man but just bc her body said yes does not mean she was in the right state to say yes. Naren can physically perform the actions to have sex but is mentally incapabale of consenting.

I wanted to bring out this point bc it has bothered me increasingly how Naren talks to Ankita as Ahana and Ankita plays along with it. This type of relationship should not be accepted nor should it be seen as romantic. It is not. Its non-consenual and such forced relationships should never be accepted in a progressive society. I hope that anyone who does like the couple does so bc its just a tv show and not bc they truly believe that this kind of relationship is okay bc Ankita really loves Naren. Love should not and cannot absolve one of their crimes.

Originally posted by: Laila2009

Your snide commentary (laugh or sigh at comments) while attempting to seem eductaed is actually laughable. And your lack of knowlede of the different kinds of rape is laughable too.

Let me educate you on the different kinds of rape. Drunken rape in which a person participates in a drunken manner to have sex with a completely sober being is still considered RAPE bc the victim lacked the mental capacity to consent. The sober person took "advantage" of the drunken person. There was no actual PHYSICAL FORCE but CONSENT being the KEYWORD was lacking in this matter. When statutory rape occurs, there is no PHYSICAL FORCE, but the victim being underage is unable to consent. That is RAPE and SEXUAL VIOLENCE of a kind without using actual physical force. The force was a lack of consent. Many rapists have been convicted on this kind of rape. So no, my lack of definition on what constiutes rape is not wrong. I simply don't believe in the backward thingking idea that sexual violence only occurs with actual physical force.

And if he was decieved into believing that his wife is Ahana, then he was decieved into believing that he had sex with Ahana, not Ankita. In fact, my theory is supported by an actual court ruling

http://archive.indianexpress.com/news/cant-have-sex-with-mentallyill-husband-uk-court-rules/1152663/

Even the Indian Penal Code has a section where a mentally ill person cannot consent

Section 90 of the Indian Penal Code, states what cannot be deemed as a valid consent. Consent will not be free if given under fear of injury or misconception of fact or under the unsoundness of mind or in an intoxicated state, or by a child below twelve years of age. The Indian Penal Code under Section 90 includes all mental disorders under unsoundness of mind and as such, the said provision is to protect persons who are mentally challenged from exploitation. The Hon'ble Supreme Court in Tulshidas Kalolkar v. State of Goa[8], included mental retardation' under the expression unsound mind' and observed,

"A mentally challenged girl cannot legally give a consent which would necessarily involve understanding . . . . . . . . . . to have suffered sexual intercourse with consent"

http://www.legalservicesindia.com/article/article/consent-of-a-mental-retardee-for-abortion-necessary-485-1.html

The taking advantage of occurs when Ankita allows Naren to believe he is having sex with Ahana, not Ankita. And Ankita was asked to do this is no excuse. If a person ask you jump out the window or cover up a crime, will you do so. And the argument that women cannot rape men has been disproven. It has been proven that erections are an autonomic process as can lubrication for a female during rape, but that does not mean actual consent http://www.bust.com/arousal-during-rape-the-science-behind-why-it-doesnt-equal-consent.html#.U3FmSCjzUnA.

Women can drug men, can take advanatge of his inebriated state. They can overpower him as in this case of a Nigerian man who was gang raped.

http://www.hurriyetdailynews.com/nigerian-man-dies-after-his-four-wives-rape-him-.aspx?pageID=500&eid=168

And yes, there is such a thing as marital rape and it occurs very much so throughout the Indian continent.

Whether here sexual violence occured is a question we continue to explore but no the rape word wasn't casually tossed around. A lot of thought went into this point. And your point that rape did not occur because no violence was used proves that it is in fact not me who is uneducated and ignorant about the reality of sexual violence.

Originally posted by: GManda72

If having sex with her mentally unstable man ( her husband) is rape and a crime, then letting lose a mentally unstable man to repeatedly stalk a woman , attend office , sign agreements on behalf of the companyand control a company is no less a crime. Im sure there is a law saying that company directors who are in a position to sign agreements are doing so in sound mentalhealth. Naren , who is not in control of himself , cant decide for himself and is prone to being violent , should be confined to a proper institution from where he cannot stalk mwomen and cannot be raped by his wife or taken advantage by her. His parents should be in jail for letting him lose and getting him married, ignoring the fact that he himself was eager to get married. The doctor who advised his marriage is also a criminal . So are the guests who attended the marriage . So in this crowd of criminals, why is Ankita being singled out? As I said before, perhaps the best place for the mentally unstable Naren is being tied up, where his situation is not being taken advantage of!

Originally posted by: soniiyaa

Nikki - I def understand what you mean and you're right in that sense. I don't think Ankita had bad intentions but you're right that when you look at the situation - its a bad one. I wouldn't blame Naren for leaving Ankita but i do wish he go back to her in the end.