Kool's Commentary : Dec 11 PR - Page 6

Dear Shyamala,

I am sorry that I didn't explain about the loha to you and the rest who aren't accustomed to bong culture. Loha is the Bengali word for iron - the metal.

To a married Bengali women, loha is equivalent to Mangal sutra (except perhaps Tamils? who also do not wear the mangal sutra either).Loha is an iron metal bangle that she wears on her left hand with the Sakha (the white bangle made on conch shell) and pola (the red bangle made of red coral). The order is loha, shakha and pola.

General, on the morning of the Bengali wedding, right after the Vriddhi (puja where the ancestors are offered rice and prayed to bless the 'couple to be'), the bride has the haldi ceremony, followed by 7 married women putting the loha/sakha/pola on left hand and sakha/pola on the right. After this the bride is given the ceremonial bath. So, in essence the 3 bangles along with the sindoor are what adorn a married Bengali woman and never removed unless she becomes a widow. Generally, after marriage the loha that was worn in the morning of her wedding is replaced by one given to her by her mother in law. Generally, a married girl can only wear loha from another married woman or by her husband. The loha that is given by the inlaws are generally covered with gold. In modern time and with more and more Bengali women working, most women will probably forgo wearing the sakha and pola, but not the 'loha' (I guess, the iron might refer to strong relationship with husband). Btw, I was nitpicking Ekta's attention to details after seeing Purvi wearing so many of those red/white bangles😃

As for Purvi gifting a saree to a patient's wife, that was definitely over the top. True, Durga Puja is like Diwali or Christmas to a Bengali and lot of gift are exchanged and given (especially cloths, as it is ritual to wear new cloths during the puja's), but Purvi gifting a saree to someone she never met is simply unrealistic. Besides, why would she do so with a tight budget?

Originally posted by: sashashyam

My dear Kalapi,

What is the 'loha'? Today, at the hotel, Purvi looked washed out and tired. And why does she have to go around gifting and delivering sarees for a patient's wife?It is all so far out that it is beyond ridiculous.

Shyamala

Originally posted by: sashashyam

Yes, Kools, the first is completely artificial and cuckoo.

But as for the latter, it might be that Dr Onir has pioneered some special procedure for treating some specific problem that Ovi might be suffering from,and if so, the Mumbai doctor would naturally refer the case to him. This happens very often in cancer and heart surgery, when there are special problems. But I wish they would show Dr.Onir at work properly, in a big hospital, not necessarily a 5 star hospital but a big, busy one, not like his clinic. He seems to be always at ease and sitting at nukkads or the like.

Shyamala

See Shyamala, I disagree with you on your assessment of Ovi here.

I will tell you my real life experience. I am myself born and raised in India and more than half of my total living years were spend in India. But, even now when I travel to India, I double check every imaginary medical need with my docs here. During my first pregnancy, my inlaws wanted me to deliver in India, I just preferred here. Last time, when both my kids were sick constantly, I simply wanted to come back to the West. Even if I look around here, my Indian friends could any day prefer a treatment in the West than in India. I guess, we have grown accustomed to the treatment facilities, the way a doc treats his patient, his style, his way in explaining treatment options, his stating the basic facts, a patient having a say in his treatment…don't know what it is, it might be a mixture of these or something else, but after a while most first generation Indians simply prefers a treatment in the West. Maybe it is still the very different approaches to treatment in these 2 countries. I don't think that there is a dearth of good docs in India, but the difference is probably the approach and what is one accustomed too. So, I couldn't blame Ovi , who is raised in Canada right after the first year, if she preferred a Western Doc over an Indian doc. As for a wanting a 5 star hotel, but isn't that natural too…I mean my kids too complains the lack of infrastructure in India and finds it hard to adjust to small things…I thought it was only natural, for Ovi to complain. Besides, she can well afford it, so why not go for a Canadian Doc…besides; Canadian medical treatment is actually free too….world class treatment is actually subsidized by the Government. I found it weird of Deshmukhs wanting Onir over a Canadian treatment…

Originally posted by: sashashyam

@blue.Precisely, Kools, and he says the same thing to his Shambu kaka when he is attending to Arjun and planning to miss the shashti puja if necessary. He should told Arjun that he was busy with a number of other patients in Kolkata and could not leave them. It is theCV's fault that they made him say this stupid thing.

In any case, if you want a specialist doctor, you have to go to him or her,and no vice versa, as they do with Dr Michael DeBakey for heart surgery and the like. Very few would travel to another city or country. And if Ovi was ready and eager to go to London, why can't she go to Kolkata?

The fact is that she thinks this doctor is Indian, and she would feel more at home with her ladidah friends if she had a firangi, and went to a Western hospital. The way she puckers up her (woefully inadequate) nose at the idea of actually having to stoop to staying in a 'small hotel', I felt like taking a stout slipper to her backside. It would have done her a world of good!

And if I had been her husband, seeing the tantrums she throws at the drop of a hat, and the way she carries on as if she is doing him and the world a great favour in condescending to produce this kid, for whom she does not seem to care tuppence, I would not have taken a slipper to her. A hatchet, more like! She is the ruddy limit, that girl!

Shyamala