If you were Archana what would you do? - Page 3

Originally posted by: arjunaluis

Yes jhanvi so true...archana did give ovi a dose of tough love which manav has never given...she has been the only one the D clan trying to tell this kid arjun doesn't love her...today she did it with action rather than words...even i am not sure if ovi did really try to kill herself or was she acting...the bed scene where she was thinking of everyone telling her that arjun doesn't belong with her was real that much i know...what to you think was it an act or did she really do it?

Originally posted by: Jaishankar

you said...hahaha Sure Janhvi dear may be I can hijack Archu from PR ...😆 😉

Jai dear, I surely surely surely wish you WOULD hijack Archu from PR. In fact, i hoped you would do that when you were in India this summer. 😆 I know you would never treat her badly and would protect her, sometimes from her own silly self...😆

So.. not only would you make a good daddy, you will make a great husband for some lucky girl... for you to be such a nice guy is proof you have such a sweetheart of mother...😃

The Cv's have made a mockery of marriage and children ...it;s screwy...Usually when dysfunctional behavior is shown in books, films, and tv it is to show it's negative impact and positive and good values win over the dysfunction. In PR it's the other way around as we all know...evil and dysfunction win, goodness is foolish and suffers and always loses.

I am glad to see some here on this thread putting marriage relationship first...so often on the forum it is said once yu have children the marriage comes 2nd ...that is so wrong...the marriage is the ship that the children sail in...if the ship is sinking, the children go down, or have to learn to swim in panic and fear and don't often make it. Maybe those who feel children come first have nver flown an airplane, whereby you are ALWAYs instructed to secure your OWN air mask first, THEN turn to help everyone else. If you die, you can't help a single soul.

Edited by naava - 13 years ago

Originally posted by: Jaishankar

Unfortunately being a Male gender ,I would tell u what I will do if I was Manav 😆 (keeping in mind only the current situation and not the entire context.I surely dont want to be in his shoes 😆 apart from the only consolation price is Archu of course 🤣).

I would rightly pull up my socks,get tickets for Savita/Damo,Ovi,Tej back to Canada and send them back by the first-flight.(Sachu can stay back with me in case of need)

Meanwhile I will consult some on Ovi's depressive state and get some suggestions on how to get Ovi out of this mess..I will be with Ovi all the time,take her out somewhere meanwhile the D's pack the bags..

Sit with Ovi somewhere and slowly start talking..Before I take Ovi out,I would contact Arjun/DK n ask him to meet me somewhere and get a explanation of the events that unfolded.Once DK Arjun explain the facts ,it would clear out some facts and I would ask Arjun to tell the same that he does not love Ovi to Ovi on her face this time in front of me with all the facts.I will let Arjun know that I am angry on him n DK for hiding the important things and not telling on time and going ahead with the engagement fiasco.I would tell Arjun that it will take me some time to forgive him and that I am not against his wedding but I cannot come due to my daughter distraught condition.As her friend I would ask Arjun to ask him and talk to her straight on her face and let her know the harsh truth.Meanwile I will take Ovi out somewhere nice n calm place (ask Arjun n DK to come there after some time) , Start with talking about her childhood days,some good interesting memories (excluding Arjun),make her talk a bit more and then slowly tell her the side-affects of blind one-sided love. Once Arjun/DK arrive,will ask Arjun to tell straight on her face.Ovi will of course scream but being her father ,I would have to handle it.If things goes out of control take her to the hospital ,sedate her and make her sleep for a while.

Get instructions from doc,next day before she boards flight give her another dose.I would in fact send also Sachu with them to be with Ovi 24 hrs and take care of her and give her medications in time if anything suggested.Also contact some top medical folks in Canada and give contact details to Sachu to take her there if needed.

Meanwhile back here ,I will let Archu know that not to force Purvi over me and even though I care for Purvi cant accept Purvi as my daughter right now due to situation.I am not against Purvi and I wish the best for her and her wedding but I just cant come there due to circumstance.I will also sit with Purvi and let her know the situation and make her understand that she needs to stop chanting the Baba jap and move on with her life with Arjun and take care of her Aai.As a well-wisher I will always be there to help her in case of need but will ask her to move on n focus on her life and ask her to take care of her Aai.

Thats what I think I will try to do if I was Manav here..Sorry for the long post though 😆

Originally posted by: naava

If i were Archana in this situation, of course i would support Purvi Arjun because i love both my daughters. One who loves and is loved by her future husband, a good good man, and the other who is heartbroken and wants the same man who doesn't love her. I would make it clear to Purvi that postponing the marriage for any reason connected to "pleasing others", guilt for being happy, et. al. was totally unacceptable and would apologize that perhaps i had given her the idea of always sacrificing for others. But i would tell her this is never a good decision, and that i want her to be strong and healthy and not make the same mistakes i did.

I would not have taken the invitation to the D family... I wouldn't even have taken it to Manav. I would have told him it was ready, and if he wanted to see it i would be very happy, but that i would understand if he did not.

But actually i understand why she did...How could she have given Ovi the message that what she asked was wrong and that she could not give her what she asked. It was probably the only way, and Archu suffered the accusations so that she could have this private conversation with Ovi...

But Ovi did not try to committ suicide...arm cutting is very much in the forefront these days and is done as a way to alleviate the intensitiy of the emotional pain, not to kill oneself. I think Ovi's pain was two fold...one for losing Arjun, but the other, in her deepest child's soul, she wanted her mother Archana to rescue her...and when Archu could not, (and i said could not, not would not) Ovi couldn't bear the pain of losing both again. She asked something no mother could ever give you, forcing a man who didn't love you to abandon his to be wife and marry her), but still, she's not in her right senses so in her convoluted way, thought maybe Archana would do it since she knows deep down how much her mother loves' her.

These children are so so messed up from Manav and Savita's hate teaching and depriving the children of their mother and then blaming it on the mother...From SAvita on down they need help...not just Ovi.

Originally posted by: sashashyam

Naava,

What a remarkably beautiful and perceptive post!

I have not seen anything else ever before in this forum as touching as your explanation of Ovi's actions in the section @blue, with the part I have highlighted being the one that moved me the most. You have an instinctive understanding of the deep, hidden recesses of the human heart, and the empathy to recognise acute suffering, and make allowances for what deep pain can make a person do.

Shyamala