Typical Serials' portrayal of CAREER women - Page 2

Originally posted by: malinn

xyzee......totally agree with you.....

Too much repetition in depicting the working woman as the vamp can get tiring and make one see red......I am in agreement with you there......and also feel that there is a need for a re-definition of the stereotype itself.....such that a working woman does not mean bad......

I know from your many posts that you have very strong views on woman and equality etc...... I like that...... keep that fire burning and that passion strong....... As you grow in life......use this to propel you forth in life in the correct direction.......

I shall re-iterate here that women are not defined by their clothes.......These serials and movies should just serve the purpose of entertainment......and educating too incase of documentaries or those in that genre.......

TV is called the idiot box for a reason.......It should separate the mindful from the mindless.....

One more thing I hate as an extension of this is that a girl being considered a guest in her Maayka after marriage. Nonsense - especially if parents have spent the same time and energy raising their son and daughter alike! I used to hear that in the olden days parents were hesitant to stay with daughters because girls were then not capable of being financially independent, etc. They did not have the education to back them up....Not anymore. Most girls are educated and if they are homemakers its by choice. So attitudes need to change.

Hej 😊 ... its long I know, but read if you like 😃😊

Very interesting topic. The working woman was potrayed bad in the typical series? 😆

You know, it is funny, but working women mean something else in my country 😃😕 .... but anyways, I get your idea 😊.

I think it depends how the woman handle her work. I think for both the man and woman, the family should come first. Work and earn is to support this family, it cannot be above the family for either. People who become too ambitious or career oriented tend to start loosing a grip on everything else and keep their material ambitions on top. This is where the problem starts ...

Specially for women, who are mothers and first educators of their children ... we have a genuine expectation on us which is not unfair I feel. I know you may disagree, but this is how I honestly feel 😳. The child is the responsibility of both the father and the mother, but the mother is the one who carry it. The mother is the one who can give it milk 😊. There is a different connection ... . I do not deny that the best fathers are so kind and humane (although I had none such father). But the mother have been given this special role. While the father is very important too with an authority which is needed in the family 😊. He often gives the balance of thinking with brains and taking the burden of the child's external world future.

Before you think I am making a very primitive assumption ... I want to say that I had been in a job after I got married too. I had been an employee of a canned food firm for 3 years before I voluntarily retired recently (I mean a couple year ago). Those times were difficult financially 😊. Me and my husband, we lived in a small flat with one bed and kitchen, another little room and a toilet ... we had to keep our family functioning. A Fresh family we formed, and it was not easy 😊, due to problems with jobs for him. He worked too, and both our earnings when joined, gave rise to little savings, basic fulfillment and some moments we could share with restaurants perhaps (but not much) 😉. I remember when I bought the suit for him ... my favorite color on him 😊. It was a special day ... it was from my savings 😊. We also wished to save and give gifts to our parents, who we wished to come close (especially his).

But later, when he really started earning, and he found a good business, few contracts ... and a reliable source of income from fixed supply contracts. It was different. We now could save more and actually now own quite a big apartment back home in Poland 😊. Now we could plan a child too, whom we can give in an international school and provide secure future 😉. Atleast we will try with our best 😊.

I gave up the job for these future of our family. The family now doesn't need extra wealth for proper functioning, that problem is now not there. He also does not have to work entire days, amazingly now he can actually get more time, and his trade gives him great flexibility 😃 (so strange, people do job sweat out and get less, then they set trades in which vacations and flexibility comes, while time requirement fluctuate in convenient manner!). This makes it important, rather an opportunity to strengthen our internal economy and functioning of the family. The social perspective of the family, an opportunity for community welfare too! 😊 ... Things he might not get the time to do all, but I am there to handle. As citizens and people, we have a role towards the society and community through our actions.

However, if the time comes that I must work, I can easily 😊. I have the education and I have the experience. But I have my family, and that is the biggest determinant 😉.

Indian urban society perhaps is going through a phase where they now "question". It is a phase all societies in the west went through too 😊.

I believe we simply need to prioritize life, and its elements. In any condition, you cannot have everything, but only those which are the most important 😊. Plus, must learn the at of being "content".

You know how precious is a family, an honest love (man)? ... I don't know if you do, because in Indian society (I think the educated and middle class) the people are more family safe and the men care (I am not saying all do). In my country, its not so convenient 😉. I can tell you that "some" girls (usually from smaller towns) prefer a family. They know what it means ... a good and honest person is priceless. They need to be loved and preserved. If they support the family and are concerned, they need to be supported. Its nothing less than "dream come true". Maybe it will be difficult for you to understand, but ask a girl from Central/Eastern Europe ... then you might understand what I am saying 😊. I am not shy to write the story out ... I don't say all the cases are bad in my part of the world, but most are.

So yes ... a loving, caring, simple, agreeing, and supportive plus honest man is a perfect gift of God, if you are lucky, to have a properly functioning family. But some women abuse this gift! Because he is nice, he will not scream, he will not force her ... she takes the opportunity to get all she wants without considering his heart. I think for the temporary moment she gets great pleasure, but eventually she looses "the original man". He is now a tool, and nothing more than a convenient tool. Not really a man ... . Yes, get what you want, but do not abuse his kindness and his trust or his love for you. Doing this will have long term detrimental affect on the relationship, and the true flavor of this mercy will vanish. Whatever will remain is the relationship of the user and the used. For every oppression is not done by violence, and not everyone knows how to express their dismay/pain. Not everyone wants either ... because they are simply "good". One must learn to value what they have ... by this I don't mean demean themselves. There is a balance somewhere which needs to be reached.

For me, keeping the "family" on the highest level is the key to reach this balance. I think this series show the women with job not as monster, but only those who have no idea how to handle their heart and actions. But maybe they do not have story in "love stories" for women who were doing job and still maintaining the child? It is difficult, time is scare, and the "day care" is not really a perfect place, while a grandparent cannot replace own parents or the mother specially 😉.

😆😃 ... Well all this coming from a "white girl" who I think do not have too high reputation in India for the wretched service of Hollywood 🤢? (I simply despise Hollywood, sorry for the fans 😉). 😊 ... But yes, its not generalized also in many families, which is good 😊. I don't say my version is perfect, but I said this because I think we in Europe too think differently ... depends on community, person, and I am not really from an urban society 😳.

Anyways, you might be having stronger points 🤗, but this point was working for me and my best friend (who married a Kashmir man again from the same university, and have a beautiful daughter now 😊, the little girl have a trues hearted mother in my best friend from childhood, and a very loving and honest father who shivers even if she falls 😆 ... emotional ... but good 😊).

Well in Poland there is not issue, we enjoy all Catholic, RAMADAN (when her husband fast and we eat the breaking fast thing he makes 😆), and some festival of Hindu of my husband (although he is not typical Hindu, he is some disciple of a YOGA man named Swami Ramdev ... more of a spiritualist I think). We have buddhist Srilanka people in another lane, so sometimes enjoy their things too 😆. My country have not much people 😉 ... small circles of friends are what people live with ... specially families which are selective in friends 😊 ... of my dear cousins 😃, they are there 😊. All wish for the balance ... without it, and already challenging life is not going to be easy.

Anyways ... my views 😊 ...

For an example on life, read this story (specially if you like coffee 😉):

http://www.lattetude.com/favourite-coffee-story.php

Originally posted by: xyzzee

olden days parents were hesitant to stay with daughters because girls were then not capable of being financially independent, etc.

Maybe the attitude to expect from children as parent need to change too?

I am in favor of children supporting their parent and taking care in old age. I am fully in support of that ... but I do not support a parent to live their life in such expectation. It is not intelligent or very selfless. Well, this is how I feel 😊

Very nice Polki..... Some great points made by you....

Originally posted by: Polki_Zofi

Hej 😊 ... its long I know, but read if you like 😃😊

Very interesting topic. The working woman was potrayed bad in the typical series? 😆

You know, it is funny, but working women mean something else in my country 😃😕 .... but anyways, I get your idea 😊.

I think it depends how the woman handle her work. I think for both the man and woman, the family should come first. Work and earn is to support this family, it cannot be above the family for either. People who become too ambitious or career oriented tend to start loosing a grip on everything else and keep their material ambitions on top. This is where the problem starts ...

Specially for women, who are mothers and first educators of their children ... we have a genuine expectation on us which is not unfair I feel. I know you may disagree, but this is how I honestly feel 😳. The child is the responsibility of both the father and the mother, but the mother is the one who carry it. The mother is the one who can give it milk 😊. There is a different connection ... . I do not deny that the best fathers are so kind and humane (although I had none such father). But the mother have been given this special role. W the father is very important too with an authority which is needed in the family 😊. He often gives the balance of thinking with brains and taking the burden of the child's external world future.

Before you think I am making a very primitive assumption ... I want to say that I had been in a job after I got married too. I had been an employee of a canned food firm for 3 years before I voluntarily retired recently (I mean a couple year ago). Those times were difficult financially 😊. Me and my husband, we lived in a small flat with one bed and kitchen, another little room and a toilet ... we had to keep our family functioning. A Fresh family we formed, and it was not easy 😊, due to problems with jobs for him. He worked too, and both our earnings when joined, gave rise to little savings, basic fulfillment and some moments we could share with restaurants perhaps (but not much) 😉. I remember when I bought the suit for him ... my favorite color on him 😊. It was a special day ... it was from my savings 😊. We also wished to save and give gifts to our parents, who we wished to come close (especially his).

But later, when he really started earning, and he found a good business, few contracts ... and a reliable source of income from fixed supply contracts. It was different. We now could save more and actually now own quite a big apartment back home in Poland 😊. Now we could plan a child too, whom we can give in an international school and provide secure future 😉. Atleast we will try with our best 😊.

I gave up the job for these future of our family. The family now doesn't need extra wealth for proper functioning, that problem is now not there. He also does not have to work entire days, amazingly now he can actually get more time, and his trade gives him great flexibility 😃 (so strange, people do job sweat out and get less, then they set trades in which vacations and flexibility comes, while time requirement fluctuate in convenient manner!). This makes it important, rather an opportunity to strengthen our internal economy and functioning of the family. The social perspective of the family, an opportunity for community welfare too! 😊 ... Things he might not get the time to do all, but I am there to handle. As citizens and people, we have a role towards the society and community through our actions.

However, if the time comes that I must work, I can easily 😊. I have the education and I have the experience. But I have my family, and that is the biggest determinant 😉.

Indian urban society perhaps is going through a phase where they now "question". It is a phase all societies in the west went through too 😊.

I believe we simply need to prioritize life, and its elements. In any condition, you cannot have everything, but only those which are the most important 😊. Plus, must learn the at of being "content".

You know how precious is a family, an honest love (man)? ... I don't know if you do, because in Indian society (I think the educated and middle class) the people are more family safe and the men care (I am not saying all do). In my country, its not so convenient 😉. I can tell you that "some" girls (usually from smaller towns) prefer a family. They know what it means ... a good and honest person is priceless. They need to be loved and preserved. If they support the family and are concerned, they need to be supported. Its nothing less than "dream come true". Maybe it will be difficult for you to understand, but ask a girl from Central/Eastern Europe ... then you might understand what I am saying 😊. I am not shy to write the story out ... I don't say all the cases are bad in my part of the world, but most are.

So yes ... a loving, caring, simple, agreeing, and supportive plus honest man is a perfect gift of God, if you are lucky, to have a properly functioning family. But some women abuse this gift! Because he is nice, he will not scream, he will not force her ... she takes the opportunity to get all she wants without considering his heart. I think for the temporary moment she gets great pleasure, but eventually she looses "the original man". He is now a tool, and nothing more than a convenient tool. Not really a man ... . Yes, get what you want, but do not abuse his kindness and his trust or his love for you. Doing this will have long term detrimental affect on the relationship, and the true flavor of this mercy will vanish. Whatever will remain is the relationship of the user and the used. For every oppression is not done by violence, and not everyone knows how to express their dismay/pain. Not everyone wants either ... because they are simply "good". One must learn to value what they have ... by this I don't mean demean themselves. There is a balance somewhere which needs to be reached.

For me, keeping the "family" on the highest level is the key to reach this balance. I think this series show the women with job not as monster, but only those who have no idea how to handle their heart and actions. But maybe they do not have story in "love stories" for women who were doing job and still maintaining the child? It is difficult, time is scare, and the "day care" is not really a perfect place, while a grandparent cannot replace own parents or the mother specially 😉.

😆😃 ... Well all this coming from a "white girl" who I think do not have too high reputation in India for the wretched service of Hollywood 🤢? (I simply despise Hollywood, sorry for the fans 😉). 😊 ... But yes, its not generalized also in many families, which is good 😊. I don't say my version is perfect, but I said this because I think we in Europe too think differently ... depends on community, person, and I am not really from an urban society 😳.

Anyways, you might be having stronger points 🤗, but this point was working for me and my best friend (who married a Kashmir man again from the same university, and have a beautiful daughter now 😊, the little girl have a trues hearted mother in my best friend from childhood, and a very loving and honest father who shivers even if she falls 😆 ... emotional ... but good 😊).

Well in Poland there is not issue, we enjoy all Catholic, RAMADAN (when her husband fast and we eat the breaking fast thing he makes 😆), and some festival of Hindu of my husband (although he is not typical Hindu, he is some disciple of a YOGA man named Swami Ramdev ... more of a spiritualist I think). We have buddhist Srilanka people in another lane, so sometimes enjoy their things too 😆. My country have not much people 😉 ... small circles of friends are what people live with ... specially families which are selective in friends 😊 ... of my dear cousins 😃, they are there 😊. All wish for the balance ... without it, and already challenging life is not going to be easy.

Anyways ... my views 😊 ...

For an example on life, read this story (specially if you like coffee 😉):

http://www.lattetude.com/favourite-coffee-story.php


Maybe the attitude to expect from children as parent need to change too?

I am in favor of children supporting their parent and taking care in old age. I am fully in support of that ... but I do not support a parent to live their life in such expectation. It is not intelligent or very selfless. Well, this is how I feel 😊

I would agree with you in many points. Good points indeed. However I do feel in many of these serials women who work are portrayed as monsters and I do dislike it - with the exception of Astitva and a few others. I know tooooooo many working, loving moms to believe otherwise. Some maybe but can't generalize. I also believe you can keep family in the fore front and still do justice to your job. It depends on how we handle it. I also don't believe that going to work, career, etc all equates JUST to materialism (I don't agree with being too materialistic either). But for many people career makes you feel whole and what satisfies you and what drives you and keeps you motivated ! I have been with my company with all its mergers/buyouts, etc for 8 years and believe me I am NOT doing it just for the money. I simply love my job and I have got some luring offers which pay much more but that does not make me comfortable. I go to work to put my education to use and I LOVE what I do. I also like the fact that I maybe contributing to society in any little way that I do. My hubby is fortunately very accepting and so is my family - both sides have always encouraged me to work and would not even dream of me quitting. My daughter too is now 11 and feels happy and proud at everything I do at work and with any promotions or whatever. She aspires to be similar in her own line too (though she is too young). Bottom line, if u are working just for the money and don't enjoy it, well, time to do something else...I have seen people waiting for weekends in my office starting Wednesday - I often wonder if they dislike the job this much why don't they try and find something else? You speand most of your waking hours at work, we darned well better love what we do - though I agree we don't have a choice all the time because of economy, financial needs, etc. But I do think one needs to enjoy and feel fulfilled at what we do, else it is not sustainable.

Originally posted by: Polki_Zofi

Hej xyzee, then maybe you are looking for something else in life 😊, I wish you all the best that you get all you want 😉.

For me a job or career is relative. I find my home and my spouse to be merged with a single life that we have, and together our life is a job and career enough for anything else to supersede or even be equal with it. But then, I suppose it is my way of thinking, and I cannot but wish well for your way of life which you have chosen 😊.

I don't know all the mechanisms of life, and I don't think I want to. Being from Europe, I can say that I have come across incidents where not everything works. Its visible and known. It they are all in order for you, you must be one of those people who get absolutely all in life that they wish anytime, this is a rare phenomena, although you might say you have seen too many ... but rare for me because I haven't.

I did my graduations in finance (from one of the better universities of Poland, and there I met my man too), and I had worked in the canned food firm on a decent position 😊. Acquisition and merger department is someplace where it there is more work than any other department, and for a person to be in it and still maintaining everything that you just said is nothing less than a miracle 😳 ... its very interesting how you must be handling it all 😊. Such a department is not there in all firms, not even all MNCs ... it must be a big/huge firm to keep such a department active (as merger and acquisition is something too big even for some MNCs to handle, its not about the "buying", but about the adjustment and the details that goes with it), so really hearty congratulations to you 😊 🤗.

For me I guess I have prioritized my life and career in the logic I could best think of 😃😆. This is how far my thought could go 😛. Best thing is that I am content 😊, I wish you contentment aswell 😳🤗

@Widow marriage: I heard this one in here before. I think I read it in another forum ... there it was an interesting discussion. I don't think widow marriage is something very important. It depends on the person whether they want to marry, others should not have a say in this. I think in India it is a different thing, but where I come from, it should be the choice of the person. Not everyone want to do it, as they love just once and it don't happen twice, for others it can happen many times ... we cannot really have uniformity of feelings 😊. I am not saying that it is bad, I think others can find happiness with it, but for some couple they find something so beautiful and precious that for others it is hard to comprehend 😉.

There is no such formula that a person cannot handle life or love without the physical presence of the mate. But then, to each their own. What is indecent is pressurizing or voluntarily suggesting or advicing another to do things like this. This can be very disturbing ... but again, I am afraid most of my views are generally sub-urban to rural central/east European ... 6+ months in India cannot really educate me of it too much 😃, specially I have limited exposure mainly to everything good 😊 this I know.

Pallo as always a nice post and no 2 ways about the way you feel...we all feel the same...but frankly speaking I am fed up of expecting anything from these serial writers....its since so many yrs we all have been thinking the same and won't the serial writers too feel that way...but no they want their moolah and only want their trps and ratings...so they don't care about showing actually a middleclass working woman supporting her family and yes being good...she is always the vamp....no idea when they will show some reality in these shows....Taarak Mehta is the best show for us as its a real stressbuster and I had written there about showing working woman..there do they have not done that....

Originally posted by: tvdost

Pallo as always a nice post and no 2 ways about the way you feel...we all feel the same...but frankly speaking I am fed up of expecting anything from these serial writers....its since so many yrs we all have been thinking the same and won't the serial writers too feel that way...but no they want their moolah and only want their trps and ratings...so they don't care about showing actually a middleclass working woman supporting her family and yes being good...she is always the vamp....no idea when they will show some reality in these shows....Taarak Mehta is the best show for us as its a real stressbuster and I had written there about showing working woman..there do they have not done that....

Its on SAB....a comedy show with a good moral in each episode......it airs from Mon to Fri...our daily does of entertainment and a real stressbuster those were some good points Polki...and those were some interesting discussions by everyone...