Kool Comments : Savita's jailing - Page 9

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Polki_Zofi thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#81
Oh Indian marriages are soooooo Boom boom boom 😆👏 ... very close interaction with the culture, and participation, very touching and very own kind of feeling 😊. Now just laying down and finally saw the commentary of koolsadhu 😉👏, keep it up koolsadhu, you are an angel because you bring smiles and you extend your hands to aide friends also 😊. Everyone who are good deserve you 😊!

Are you sure about Shravani being so responsible that she will come and pick up Savita who is not actually (legally) her mother in law, when the son who is "undoubtedly and legally" her son is being abandoned in a way that she never seem to make even a phone call? Not even sms is it? Did they even mention? Again, I have no idea of Indian culture so much, but all I can say is that I do not suppose this can be a way a mother deal with her child no matter if it is born in or out of wedlock. Pardon if I said something wrong 😊, but this is how I can see from my own perspective 😆 ... 😉.

Only if a woman have one remote sense working in her, which say that her child is not so vital for her, only then she would do such a thing. Going away to the world's most developed and privileged country while letting her son be in a less privileged atmosphere, specially in living conditions which are very needy compared to the modern and more blessed segment of the Indian communities. I think that Savita are poor and live in something similar or just above the "slum" condition, is it not? If I am wrong, then still I can figure that it is not perfect condition where a mother would like to see her child growing up, specially if she knows that she has options which are better than that, and she herself is enjoying them. In such conditions, for me it is very difficult to understand Shravani in any positive way (and thus her taking Savita seem to me very much out of the box, not only out of question)😊😳.

Manav is very unbalanced with his mother, this is surely not the way. No son should be so reckless as to leave his mother senseless and then take out his wife to dinner. But was it a romantic setting for the dinner or just because she couldn't cook? I didn't see the series for so many days 😆😃!!

Manav needs to remember his responsibility for his mother, and balance his responsibility for his wife at the same time. The wife should and must tell him that he must not neglect the mother so much. It is good that he wants to take a stand when it comes to his wife being irreplaceable and very important for him, but at the same time he needs to make this clear to his mother that she will not be be neglected due to his marriage. This alone should prove to his mother that the wife is not a challenge to his son's love for her, but infact an addition to that love as she gets a new daughter aswell 😊.

The baby Sachu is most unfortunate, and to me, all this root to his mother. As I feel even though Manav took the responsibility, no one should've given him the entire responsibility. He was heart broken with double magnitude (his brother and girlfriend). He had other interests, involved with a girl, which means he already had his heart set in another path. In this condition, he is no one so perfect that his word in such a state is to be taken as unmovable. He is an ordinary good human, who cannot become extra ordinary in his goodness. Even if he were extraordinary, the mother's responsibility cannot be less even my a micrometer. 😳😳😳 ... oops I said something WRONG? 😆😃, just felt like this so said 😉.

Kool, I will surely watch mother india, already made this a point to my hubby and we will go seeking some DVD of songs and this particular movie from the famous Indian markets 😆😃👏... will report when I see it 😉😊, thank you for suggesting!

Will take a short nap (needed! 😆)
devashree_h thumbnail
Posted: 14 years ago
#82
If Madhuri wants to divorce Dharmu for herself then its understandable. But why should she do that for Vaishu and how will it help Vaishu?Its utterly stupid of her to think like that.
I dont understand, Archu understood all those signs of Savs not being well, she even talked to her mom about it then why is she not doing something about it.Why is she not consulting a doctor regarding this?
naava thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#83
hi everyone... i have been too busy to spend much time posting..and also wasn't going to get into the Savita issue again cause it's so emotional for everyone but this morning (oh..it's afternoon 😆) thought i would add a line or two

1. First i agree with most all about madhuri's divorce idea...it's so stupid for the reason she gave...i mean really stupid...she thinks vaishali would marry him now? there would have to be a 2nd ceremony....why would she do that? so she could legally divorce him? maybe the 2nd baby will change Madhuri's mind.. i just don't see Archu being behind this though...it makes no sense...(not that this show makes sense anyway) i guess i think that Madhuri and Archu are just very much alike.

2. Shibu....the mystery man....he and Madhuri would be a good match if indeed Madhuri divorces him.. but Shibu and Vaishu....😲 nooo way imho 😆

3. Forget Jayway... where the heck is Tarun??

4. Ok...a moment on Savita... Look, it's a very complicated problem..and everyone has a bit of the truth in discussing it.. .neither S or M has acted right on many occasions.... and i am 100% behind honoring and caring for your parents JUST BECAUSE THEY ARE YOUR PARENTS... but i draw the line where there is constant abuse...and that's why i've drawn a line here.... .

2 things:
1) I think Manav is just so frustrated because nothing has worked and he just doesn't know what to do or how to handle this but i think he is doing the right thing basically...maybe he could have bent a little a couple of times, but i know SURELY SURELY it would have been interpreted as something different by Savita (however part of me also says...but you do it anyway cause it's the right thing to do for your parent...i understand that and agree...if you are willing to accept that the situation will never change...but if you want to see the relationship healed and changed..sometimes tough love is necessary)

2) People have misunderstood...when someone creates dramas to control, they aren't pretending as many have suggested those of us meant when we used the word "drama"...they will say "oh she's not pretending it's REAL" TRUE. IT IS REAL..and she does feel rejected. and it's sad and i feel sorry for her at that level,...but at the same time, it is a totally purposeful SUBCONSCIOUS action/ reaction/ maneuver to control the situation and people around ..and Manav finally recognizes it.. Savita is really feeling rejected...but she is adding like an emotionally immature child.."nobody likes me, everybody hates me, i'm going to eat some worms."
The most loving thing he can do is to be tough til she realizes she can't do this...the problem is there is a fine line where Manav could move in with tenderness ... an opening Savita gives signal to....but it is VERY VERY TRICKY to know exactly when that moment occurs...if you do it too prematurely, Savita will know her woe is me behavior works...there's no reason for her to be woe is me...she's the one who rejected manav's decision to marry, rejected his wife, rejected who he is...so even though her feelings are REAL, she is using them to control.

OK...i'm done.. 😆 had to say a word or two...😉


Edited by naava - 14 years ago
Tanyaz thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#84
I agree with Naava .Manav is doing this for Savita only ( who is being terribly difficult ) .He wants Savita to get what she wants the most , her son , back but I am very happy that he has taken a strong stand against Archana's abuse by Savita ...
I wish he had done this long time ago then things would not have come to this but better late than never ...
Also I still believe that no matter how difficult Savita is acting , he should not have cut off the communication lines and should have kept trying to talk to his mother and trying to persuade her ...showing a little more sensitivity ..
he gets very strict when he wants to put his point across....we have seen him do this before also ....
However I do feel that he is suffering a lot because he loves his mother so much and it is hurting him very bad that this relationship is going through this rough patch ....
I hope this track wraps up soon and he goes to live in his home with his wife .Before I thought Savita would get her way when she gets sick and wil l bring back Manav alone first and maybe then Archana will come later but after yesterday's show , I don't think Manav will give in ...he will come on his terms ( still not 100 % sure because Savita could well be even more stubborn than I think but she did show some signs of being very worried yesterday ) ....
That's it ....this was my two cents .....😆
Edited by Tanyaz - 14 years ago
..Sonii.. thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#85
Thanks for commentary dii 😃 😃
Will get bck later, caught by eye infectn frm 1 week
naava thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#86

Originally posted by: Tanyaz

I agree with Naava .Manav is doing this for Savita only ( who is being terribly difficult ) .He wants Savita to get what she wants the most , her son , back but I am very happy that he has taken a strong stand against Archana's abuse by Savita ...

I wish he had done this long time ago then things would not have come to this but better late than never ...
Also I still believe that no matter how difficult Savita is acting , he should not have cut off the communication lines and should have kept trying to talk to his mother and trying to persuade her ...showing a little more sensitivity ..
he gets very strict when he wants to put his point across....we have seen him do this before also ....
However I do feel that he is suffering a lot because he loves his mother so much and it is hurting him very bad that this relationship is going through this rough patch ....
I hope this track wraps up soon and he goes to live in his home with his wife .Before I thought Savita would get her way when she gets sick and wil l bring back Manav alone first and maybe then Archana will come later but after yesterday's show , I don't think manav will give in ...he will come on his terms ( still not 100 % sure because Savita could well be even more stubborn than I think but she did show some signs of beign very worried yesterday ) ....
That's it ....this was my two cents .....😆



you are right tanya...manav should have done this a long time ago...but it's so hard to do something like this...it goes against your instincts...you have to have a firm reason..for him now, archana i guess....(in my case in my family it was that i watched my daughter suffer because of this kind of behavior and i finally had to put a stop to it...and fortunately the doctor not only supported me but had good insight..and it WORKED. ) .Manav is suffering like you said...watching his mom suffering...at the same time you have to harden your heart cause you know it's for another purpose...it is conflicting.... .. trust me...i know...
so i hope Manav Savita will also have a happy ending like mine did....😛 after sooo many years ...i should have done it long before i did too... ya just do what ya can i guess... 😊
koolsadhu1000 thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#87
you are right tanya...manav should have done this a long time ago...but it's so hard to do something like this...it goes against your instincts...you have to have a firm reason..for him now, archana i guess....(in my case in my family it was that i watched my daughter suffer because of this kind of behavior and i finally had to put a stop to it...and fortunately the doctor not only supported me but had good insight..and it WORKED. ) .Manav is suffering like you said...watching his mom suffering...at the same time you have to harden your heart cause you know it's for another purpose...it is conflicting.... .. trust me...i know...
so i hope Manav Savita will also have a happy ending like mine did....😛 after sooo many years ...i should have done it long before i did too... ya just do what ya can i guess... 😊
Will tell u why I differ from this tough love theory with u in this particular case .

Showing tough love with a wilful child who manipulates u to get her own way and a mother who does the same thing can work and can be comparable too ..............but in this case theres a slight hitch .

She has LOST a son . Far too little importance is being given to this fact . far too little . She has a wound somewhere inside that has NEVER healed . To top it , Manav has chosen to show TOUGH LOVE at a time when it is going and sending EXACTLY THE WRONG MESSAGE .
Manav's TIMING Sucks . He shud have shown this when Archana was being abused . He DIDN"T .Not even on a humanatarian basis . Forget LOVER basis .
For an emotionally volatile woman like SAvita who endured Jail third degree treatment , death , alcoholic husband and saw the marital rape of her daughter helplessly ...........the loss of the only living son on whom she banked may prove DETRIMENTAL . She may crumble and DIE .
Its CRUEL . Coz she WAS coming around , she had started going to their Kholi uninvited .At a point she was toying with the idea of accepting Archana too . She just needed time . Which HE REFUSED . He wants to set the TIME LIMITS . Its NOW or NEVER . Either u LOVE her or ur LOSE ME is his stupid message .
She had come around last time . Why ? Coz Archana had NOT set time limits . Infact , Archana had expected NOTHING . She had gone on expressing her love for his family and expected nothing in return .All that came her way was a bonus . That was her mature behaviour . And At a point Savita relented and came around .But it was with HER WISH . No one forced her hand behind her back and made her accept Archana .
But right now Manav is doing EXACTLY that . What he does not realise is FORCE in such delicate matters FESTERS things . Two things can happen in REAL LIFE if this is done .
1] The mother , out of FEAR that she will lose her son wll PRETEND to come around but secretly HATE the bahu so much more
2] The HATE will multiply . She will REBEL at being COERCED . No one likes to be FORCE FED , they VOMIT . its a NATURAL reaction .
He has been TACTLESS .........both he and his DAD . They Keep Praising Archana to the skies in front of her , KNOWING her feelings about her .Naava , cmon , no one is THIS DUMB or THIS insensitive not to know that the person will HATE it . Not just that , they go a step FURTHER and tell her YOU are not of HER LEVEL , and YOU have now NO OPTION but HER .
Seriously ..........what is psychology of human nature ? Will a human being LIKE this ? I know I wouldn't . If my husband praises my Bahu day and night and tells me I am INFERIOR to her , I wud DIVORCE him . Stay with HER i wud say and walk off , for at that point there wud be NOTHING to hold me in the marraige .......not even the children , as they have grown up . U guys sit and LOVE the fact that Manav nowdays SIDES with Archana for everything .This woman has put thirty two years of her LIFE supporting this drunkard .She did NOT divorce him like Archana did after looking at few photographs . She tolerated ALL his nonsense and imperfections didnt she ?How about showing her some UNDERSTANDING and handling her a little TACTFULLY in her old age ? But he teases her , goads her , and is now constantly taking the side of a girl who came in his life only fifteen months back and tells her SHE IS BETTER THAN U .
The END RESULT will only be HATE , HATE and more HATE . Thats what Damodar and Manav r unconsciously AIMING at . Either they r far too STUPID or just VERY MEAN PEOPLE who like RILING someone .I think its the FORMER .
People with dirty minds wud say Damodar has a crush on Archana or something . I wudnt say that .But I wud definetely say he needs to put a lid on his Archana Praises . He can either opt to go and stay with her if he likes her that much or he can stay here and support his wife like Mohan and Manohar do although their wives r not hundred percent right all the time . But he does neither , he stays with her and RILES her . Constantly pricking the mind of an emotionally volatile person is playing a DANGEROUS GAME . And Damo does it plentifully . I wud have smacked his mocking face and thrown him OUT of my house if I was in Savitas place .
She desrves respect for sticking out with him for thirty two years . She did it .Not Archana . Damodar shud advise Manav to keep Archu out of the picture and to come and go , assuring his mom that he hasnt forgotten her . Instead he joins his son and gives Savita the message We R ALL IN ONE CAMP And UR ALONE ! TEE HEE U WILL LOSE ONE DAY ! YUP !
About what Saint Archana has done ..........I have OTHER VIEWS but I won't go into it as thats another topic . All I will say is She is to a certain extent responsible for the many upheavals that happened in this family ...........directly or INDIRECTLY . They can be traced to HER family only and there r no two ways about it .....they r FACTS .
Still , Let that go . Lets Say Archana is GOOD , an Angel . The point isn't that . The point is , can one LOVE an angel forcefully ? I wud become an ATHEIST if I was FORCED .
U mentioned about not meeting someone with psychological blindness and 911 . Darling , thats what I tell u . One cannot compare the living conditions of third world India with ANY developed country . There is no 911 there . Even if u stayed away , u knew she was in good hands . On that level u were assured . In India , if u leave a person unconscious and unattended to , theres no saying what will happen . No healthcare no facilities unless payment is made .Manpower is constantly needed . What if she had DIED ? U cannot walk away after u see ur mom lying on the floor weak with anemia coz she has been eating less . Had there been 911 and if she was in hospital with nurses and Manav chose to hide himself I wudnt be upset with him .But theres no 911 there for SICKNESS .All she had was a DRUNK ineffectual hubby , and a bawling child who needed tending to . And he walked away , and went to eat dinner the second day ? For me , Thats the point the Mother shud disown her progeny .
She is not sub consciously doing dramas at all .Its now a pathetic attempt to hold on to her pride coz he told , like a fool , in FRONT OF HIS WIFE ........GET OUT MOM . He didnt tell it in PRIVATE . That HURT her . So she is trying to live with her grandson and via him memories of the son she lost ...Sachin ..........and attempting to have some pride as she feels she lost her dignity . In short she holds on to her grief and lost dignity to live ..........pretending she sTILL Has them but realising subconsciously she has lost BOTH ........Sachin can never come back and her respect , her dignity has GONE . And so , at a point she will crumble ..........Thats for sure .Its only a matter of time . Now if THATS called a VICTORY for Archana and Manav , I am sorry i DON"T share that view .


Edited by koolsadhu1000 - 14 years ago
naava thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#88
Showing tough love with a wilful child who manipulates u to get her own way and a mother who does the same thing can work and can be comparable too ..............but in this case theres a slight hitch .

kools, the reference to my daughter was NOT that she was a willful child manipulating...quite the opposite...it was she who was suffering because of the willful manipulation of my mom..whom i loved dearly..and i had to put a stop to it for my children's sake...something i never did for myself..being willing to endure it...but i could NOT continue to watch (both ) my children suffer because every birthday party every start of school, every special event for the child got aborted to meet these 911 calls so that my mother was surrounded with attention rather than the child getting any ever. The 911's that i referred to were that for as many years as i could remember from my own childhood on through the raising of my family...stories that you would not believe, and so many people hurt.....when my mother did'nt have things her way or 100% of the attention, she became alarmingly ill with heart attack symptoms, stroke symptoms ..you name it.. and we had to call 911 over and over and over and over again.. years and years of this...Like Manav in the past .he appeased her in his way ... for me it was appeasing her with many things including the 911 call...cuz .if .you don't call 911, what if this time she's really sick.. sometimes actually most of the time she was actually sick, not ER level.....but sick because she had worked herself up into such a state. and was having panic attacks and everything else.

I see Savita like my mom. True my mother didn't lose a son. But Savita's behavior to Manav to replace that other son is very unhealthy and strangling the relationship she could have had all along.

About Damo...he's been an enabler all along too...but i thought he is handling it very well now.

i don't support everything that manav has done at all, i'm not a "fan" of anyone...but i think in this instance he is doing his best...and i think he loves him mom very much...yes he should have done this before, he should have done it when archu was being abused for SURE...

Maybe the Cv's got tired too...and decided to fight it. i have great sympathy for Savita, because she is so miserable and lonely. She really hurts inside....but she has to do is recognize her son is also a human being and not just someone she must possess.
\
You presented good arguments and u may not agree with a single word i have said...but i know we love each other anyway...

glad u are up and running again...keyboard and all. ❤️
Edited by naava - 14 years ago
koolsadhu1000 thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#89

Originally posted by: naava

Showing tough love with a wilful child who manipulates u to get her own way and a mother who does the same thing can work and can be comparable too ..............but in this case theres a slight hitch .

kools, the reference to my daughter was NOT that she was a willful child manipulating...quite the opposite...it was she who was suffering because of the willful manipulation of my mom..whom i loved dearly..and i had to put a stop to it for my children's sake...something i never did for myself..being willing to endure it...but i could NOT continue to watch (both ) my children suffer because every birthday party every start of school, every special event for the child got aborted to meet these 911 calls so that my mother was surrounded with attention rather than the child getting any ever. The 911's that i referred to were that for as many years as i could remember from my own childhood on through the raising of my family...stories that you would not believe, and so many people hurt.....when my mother did'nt have things her way or 100% of the attention, she became alarmingly ill with heart attack symptoms, stroke symptoms ..you name it.. and we had to call 911 over and over and over and over again.. years and years of this...Like Manav in the past .he appeased her in his way ... for me it was appeasing her with many things including the 911 call...cuz .if .you don't call 911, what if this time she's really sick.. sometimes actually most of the time she was actually sick, not ER level.....but sick because she had worked herself up into such a state. and was having panic attacks and everything else. Sorry to hear this .U have been thru an awful lot . Still .........the two cases cannot be compared . I am talking only of THIS particular case , studying ALL that happened in THIS womans life .This woman needed firmness , but what he gave was rejection .

I see Savita like my mom. True my mother didn't lose a son. But Savita's behavior to Manav to replace that other son is very unhealthy and strangling the relationship she could have had all along. I understand . Each one looks at the case with his or her life experiences , when they detect a similiarity . I dont however see her attempt to replace him as unhealthy ............Why unhealthy ?Its the most natural reaction in the world . When parents lose one child , they cling on , terrified , to their living one , afraid they will lose him or her too .Most natural reaction if u ask me . Btw , I dont think she is replacing MAANAV with Sachin , she replaced SACHU with Sachin .

About Damo...he's been an enabler all along too...but i thought he is handling it very well now.Here I differ very strongly . He is not at all handling it WELL . He is a real messed up specimen .

i don't support everything that manav has done at all, i'm not a "fan" of anyone...but i think in this instance he is doing his best...and i think he loves him mom very much...yes he should have done this before, he should have done it when archu was being abused for SURE... Whats the point of that lOVE if the message u give is I DONT LOVE U . Slowly he is convincing his mom of THAT only .

Maybe the Cv's got tired too...and decided to fight it. i have great sympathy for Savita, because she is so miserable and lonely. She really hurts inside....but she has to do is recognize her son is also a human being and not just someone she must possess.If she cud love Archana and be very nice to her , naava she can go to any lengths for Manav .
\
You presented good arguments and u may not agree with a single word i have said...but i know we love each other anyway...

glad u are up and running again...keyboard and all. ❤️ The coffe must have dried . Its working now .😆😆😆

Tanyaz thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#90

Originally posted by: naava


kools, the reference to my daughter was NOT that she was a willful child manipulating...quite the opposite...it was she who was suffering because of the willful manipulation of my mom..whom i loved dearly..and i had to put a stop to it for my children's sake...something i never did for myself..being willing to endure it...but i could NOT continue to watch (both ) my children suffer because every birthday party every start of school, every special event for the child got aborted to meet these 911 calls so that my mother was surrounded with attention rather than the child getting any ever. The 911's that i referred to were that for as many years as i could remember from my own childhood on through the raising of my family...stories that you would not believe, and so many people hurt.....when my mother did'nt have things her way or 100% of the attention, she became alarmingly ill with heart attack symptoms, stroke symptoms ..you name it.. and we had to call 911 over and over and over and over again.. years and years of this...Like Manav in the past .he appeased her in his way ... for me it was appeasing her with many things including the 911 call...cuz .if .you don't call 911, what if this time she's really sick.. sometimes actually most of the time she was actually sick, not ER level.....but sick because she had worked herself up into such a state. and was having panic attacks and everything else.
OMG, poor you ...I feel bad for you but I am glad that you have handled this and hope everything is Ok now ...


I see Savita like my mom. True my mother didn't lose a son. But Savita's behavior to Manav to replace that other son is very unhealthy and strangling the relationship she could have had all along.
I agree , Savita might feel Archu is responsible , maybe some other might too and who knows , maybe Archana does ( she is always very quick to blame herself ) but the fact is that Manav doesn't , Damodar doesn't and Vandita doesn't ....
How much Manav has to to suffer for Sachin's death ??? This has to stop somewhere ..Manav tried everything , he did everything .The only thing he could not do was to stop loving Archana and start loving the girl of Savita's choice ...
Manav has done so much for his mother and his family ...so much ..
he should be allowed happiness of his choice ....

About Damo...he's been an enabler all along too...but i thought he is handling it very well now.

i don't support everything that manav has done at all, i'm not a "fan" of anyone...but i think in this instance he is doing his best...and i think he loves him mom very much...yes he should have done this before, he should have done it when archu was being abused for SURE...
True .....

Maybe the Cv's got tired too...and decided to fight it.
CVs tried their best to make that track work but it was the majority that gave it a thumbs down .
i have great sympathy for Savita, because she is so miserable and lonely. She really hurts inside....but she has to do is recognize her son is also a human being and not just someone she must possess.
I agree ..
\

You presented good arguments and u may not agree with a single word i have said...but i know we love each other anyway...

glad u are up and running again...keyboard and all. ❤️
Me too , very glad .......
Kool has lots of supporters and they love reading her commentry and she should try make time for it.

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