Posted:
I'm not going to say much here, but I wanted to comment on the grieving period comment of yours. As a psychology student, I can honestly and factually say that the grieving period depends on each individual. There are certain phases to grieving. I'll put them up here real quick and simple.
Shock/Denial
Anger
Compromise/Bargaining
Depression
Acceptance
It isn't always in that order and there is no definite period for each. A person can also flip-flop between two phases for a while, end up at square one and have to work through it all over again.
Someone like Archana would need extensive counselling to help her get over her grief, and it IS possible to take an entire lifetime to get over the grief although it is VERY rare.
Kool, I apologize if the title of my post has hurt you in any way because of it resembling your family, but what I'm trying to get at is that Sulochana is a bully who thinks she is always right and only sees what she wants to see. She saw how much pain her daughter is going through, she sees how BAD of a person Jaywant is, he has criminal tendencies, and she is leaving a LOT up to chance, without sitting down and thinking logically. If you were to be engaged to someone like Jaywant and your mother knew he conned you into signing papers and framed someone and basically engaged in criminal activities, would she let you marry him? Would your mother not support you if you stood up for yourself? Would your mother not see your pain? Would your mother not break off the engagement if she knew of all the HORRIBLE things he did, if only to ensure your safety? I am pretty darned sure she would call it off, even if the guy's family DID want this marriage to occur.
About the biological clock, how does she even know she can have children? Should she be pushed into a marriage if she is only going to be tortured, just for the sake of having a child who will not have a happy life anyways, because of an unstable family? If for whatever reason she cannot have a child, can she not adopt? There are so many children out there in need of a loving family, can she not accept one as her own?
Owning a flat in Mumbai, no one said she had to OWN one, I personally rent out an apartment an amount I KNOW is manageable for most people with a stable job like Archu.
The Karanjkars mean well, but they are all very bossy and have a scapegoat in Archana, whom they can constantly give orders to on how to live life under the pretext of it being a piece of advice. Why do I say order? Because they automatically expect her to do what they suggest.
Archana and Manav do need to live through what they committed to, but should they really have to not even SPEAK to one another because of it?
Sorry I know I said this would be short, but I couldn't help myself =)
I knew the answer about the grieving period 😊 was psychology student myself and had topped the class although I majored in something else in the final year . Studied Psychology for four years .
Your answer proved my point . There is no end to this grieving period . It varies . There is no REAL answer .
In real life ..........and u may not like what I am saying here 😊 one doesn't have time for this pampering of emotions . It sounds harsh , but thats the way it is in most lower middle class families . Its a luxury .........to let someone alone to grieve for years to come . Middle class parents will be frantic with worry , thinking of hard core practicalities . They will dismiss the grieving off in a year at the most .
In Archnas case ...........The grieving wud NEVER end . Her parents r well aware of this so what did they do ?they decided to ignore it . The more they pampered it , the more she wud hover around manav and never move on in life .
I repeat ...........I don't agree to them insisting on this stupid marraige with Jay , post Manohars heart attack .Far too much bitternesss has ensued .
The biloogical clock point was to show u why her mom is frightened .No one assumes her daughter may not have children . And no one ssumes she can adopt . These r extreme cases .If daughter is stunningly beautiful and just 28 , MOms want it ALL for their daughter .
About rental flat .........even the amount ur paying isnt less dear .She is tenth standard pass with diploma ...how much salary u think she will earn and wont she retire one day ?Mumbaikars dont like large chunks of salaries going in paying rents when ultimately the ivestment does yield anything .Even while living in rentals most of them prefer ownership flats coz there at least their investment will be tripled if they sell it . Thats the working mentality . This is NOT a life a middle class mom will visualize for Archu .
I disagree the Karanjkars r bossy . They went with each of Archus decisions . When she chose to go to Manavs house for 3 month stay they swallowed it although they had advised her against it and went to meet her there cordially . They accepted Varsha after her prodigal return .They accepted Archus sel;f inflicted divorce although Archu took it against their wish .They treat Manav cordially when he visits them unlike SAvita who blasts Archu . They retreated when she firmly said NO to remarraige , and accepted when she saud YES later . They only spoke up sharply when their Father almost DIED of an heart attack and by then Archu was acting crazed . Hell , they even silently watched Archus NONSENSE of calling Manav to engagement and touching his feet under Jays nose .
About Shud they NOT even SPEAK to each other ..........Well , Karanjkars didnt exactly object , they r cordial to Manav .But Archna ad Manav dont just SPEAK . They do eyelocks publicly , and its pretty embarassing .So the BOYS FAMILY OBJECTED .
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Indian Idol 15
