Satish should have said -NO - Page 2

If Satish did not say anything when Rasika used his own mother during their engagement time to insult Savita Tai I dont think he is really the kind who would say anything...Varsha is more revolutionary and assertive than Satish...I was hoping he would have said something at that time...But he did disappoint me that time...

i wholehearted agree with you.. these customs were made in ancient times and they don't make sense in 21st century.. i have issues with kanya'daan' too..

Originally posted by: mimas

i wholehearted agree with you.. these customs were made in ancient times and they don't make sense in 21st century.. i have issues with kanya'daan' too..

haan..mee too....good point....Ma-Baap brings up their daughter with Sooooooooooo much love and hard work..how can you just DAAn her to someone?? It's OK,she's getting married but DAAN Means the Parents are kind-Of removing themselves from their rights they had on their daughter!!

<font color="#660000">I really think this Custom/Riwaz of washing Groom's feet by elders should be abolished.....</font>
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my dear, this is not a tradition. This is a ritual of hindu and associated religions. It is witten is the scriptures that the highest dhaan or gift a man or woman can give is kanyadhaan or his daughter. This has great merit and is one way that can take you on the path of liberation. It doesnt make the father of the bride smaller than the son in law in any way but he is looked up to as he has done the great avt of sending off his daughter to another family where she can now bless another home and start her own family and one day procreate and creat life which is divine ability. Hope i cleared it up

Kaanyadaan is a ritual AND a tradition...going on for ages....However, that does not make it Right in MY eyes. A daughter is not a "samaan" or "daansamaghri"......when these rituals were written women's place in society was such that probably all these made sense, but in today's day and age....its crap. When I got married my parents did my kanyadaan.....much as I disliked it...I couldn't stop it as it was something my dad was doing and didn't want to make him answerable to the society at large. But when it came the time to throw some rice back during Bidaai....I had put my foot down. Yes, it did raise a few eyebrows.....do it, its the tradion, ritual they said....I didn't care....deeply felt this was a disrespect towards my parents....after all they have done for me, repaying them with a handful of rice...RIDICULOUS !!!!! I can NEVER repay them...I did not budge on this....and know what...later on my mom told me that day she felt proud....and sad that she had not done this during her Bidaai.

PS: washing the groom's feet ...we don't have that...thankfully!!!!

I am from the west but i grew up and still live in a mandir. My lifestyle barely has tradition. My family is very modern but we r rooted in religion my dad has his phd in these studies and he himself explained it to me. It is kot giving ur daughter away but blessing her and honouring the man who is going to take ur daughter into womanhood and motherhoodi am not married i am a student and i didnt like the idea of my dad washing someone"s foot for my dad and mom are god to me. But when he explained it i understand. U see this is what shriram spoke about. This is the age of kLyug and people bring it upon themselves to challenge the word of the svriptures. This is why there exists atheism and the other negativites in society. And they call is logical reasoning. We all know that noone can ever really separate from the home they grew up in nor cN we ver repAy our parents. Esp since they say parents r ur first god. Can we ever repY god? But our scriptures have gone through many changes and distortions and the real reason behind many of these rituals have been misconstrued.

When we agree that parents are God and we cannot ever repay them then why practice this farce practice of throwing rice back ...what are we getting doing that?

Originally posted by: sindoorfan

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my dear, this is not a tradition. This is a ritual of hindu and associated religions. It is witten is the scriptures that the highest dhaan or gift a man or woman can give is kanyadhaan or his daughter. This has great merit and is one way that can take you on the path of liberation. It doesnt make the father of the bride smaller than the son in law in any way but he is looked up to as he has done the great avt of sending off his daughter to another family where she can now bless another home and start her own family and one day procreate and creat life which is divine ability. Hope i cleared it up

Kaanyadaan is a ritual AND a tradition...going on for ages....However, that does not make it Right in MY eyes. A daughter is not a "samaan" or "daansamaghri"......when these rituals were written women's place in society was such that probably all these made sense, but in today's day and age....its crap. When I got married my parents did my kanyadaan.....much as I disliked it...I couldn't stop it as it was something my dad was doing and didn't want to make him answerable to the society at large. But when it came the time to throw some rice back during Bidaai....I had put my foot down. Yes, it did raise a few eyebrows.....do it, its the tradion, ritual they said....I didn't care....deeply felt this was a disrespect towards my parents....after all they have done for me, repaying them with a handful of rice...RIDICULOUS !!!!! I can NEVER repay them...I did not budge on this....and know what...later on my mom told me that day she felt proud....and sad that she had not done this during her Bidaai.

PS: washing the groom's feet ...we don't have that...thankfully!!!!
I'm delighted to see so many people having so many wonderful views! I am enjoying reading thru' each n every one....thanks friends for your replies/views😳

i think the rice ceremony has a different meaning. it is to remind that the acts of kindness and love our parents have showered on us are as countless as the grains of rice.

the vedic meaning of scattering rice is to symbolically scatter all tamas i.e. bad/negative energies, tendencies.

and i agree. Satish should have said no.

we often make the mistake of thinking that just because something holds the status of being "ancient/old" that it is legitimate and something to uphold. that's not true. and how do we know what traditions were really part of scripture or something that was created by an average individual? the nature of a tradition is that it is created by simply recreating/repeating. so unless we have the guidance of someone truly knowledgeable about a custom, i tend to remain skeptical if i perceive it to be something that simply perpetuates old norms of class and status, or perpetuation of superstition and stigma. in this case, i agree, we respect our elders. there is so much to learn from them (of course vice versa, but this respect allows us to be open minded and take true wisdom from them). so then why should a mother have to submit to her son? i understand if it was out of love. (if she washed both her daughters and SIL's feet) but it is not the case here. she is in fact submitting to her SIL and somehow saying that i am beneath you--that the SIL has power and status over her and her family. the relationship of love is much more rewarding than that of power/status.

just my 2 cents