Kool's Commentary : 1 April PR - Page 4

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koolsadhu1000 thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#31
Tanya it is NOT fixing just a tea and snack , sorry , I disagree here .
.
She Has stayed quietly in his chawl home inspite of being used to better standard of living
She has been very good with his family members
She gave up jewels without murmur to Savita
She gave him permission to go to Varshus engagement although in her heart she didnt want him to go , she gave it coz it was important to HIM
She gave up policy money inspite of garage being closed down
She even obeyed him and removed the mangalsutra and DID NOT argue why , u only started wedding rituals before divorce etc
No Tanya , it is definetely NOT a tea and snack . Manavs expectation that she shud live a life with him and endure ICEBERG treatment while he stealthily looks at Archu is Absolutely unacceptable .
nikitagmc thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#32
Koolsadhu, for Manav's behavior today, I don't blame him. I blame Shravani.
This girl knew Manav didn't love her. She knew Manav wasn't happy with this marriage. Still she is ready to marry. Then what does she expect? That he will get dancing and intimate with her? That too in a jiffy... arey even men need time to get comfortable, that too shy men like Manav, and in this case he is in love with another girl. Why keep expectations when you know what the truth is??? Why hurt yourself?
Every person has limitations. Manav may have made a commitment, is standing by his word, but people fall weak where their inner instincts are concerned. He shrank back- not able to get close to Shravani. This is the essntial difference between being a commitment and love- Shravani is commitment, Archana is love. The mind keeps reminding you of commitment, the body/ heart responds to love. In these matters, even Manav couldn't have forced himself. His uncomfortable expressions would have given him away. And these things are not preplanned. People feel that they are strong and can handle this, but they never are so strong so as to betray what the heart and the subconscious mind desires. Neither Manav nor Shravani understood this thing- you can't force your heart in these matters.
Lets imagine it the other way around. Manav would never have tried to get intimate with Shravani since she was in mourning, she wouldn't have been comfortable- in fact she wanted to keep the child to remember Sachin. She wanted to keep Sachin alive through him. This marriage was not a way of moving ahead for her. It is not just Manav who had visualized the marriage as a compromise. She had visualized it as a compromise too. She had no intention of moving on AT ALL. Her father had told her that she must move ahead, Manav had told this to her too. But at that time, despite repeated advice, she had obstinately said that she wouldn't marry anyone else, and live all her life with Sachin's memories. If forced for marriage or abortion, she would commit suicide. Coz she COULD NOT SURRENDER TO ANY OTHER MAN OTHER THAN THE ONE SHE LOVED.
Which is why Manav had to step forward, and which is why she agreed. She knew he loved Archana too much and was decent enough never to force himself on Shrvani. The decision was from both sides. At that time, both of them had surrendered themselves to a higher cause- the baby. Both of them believed they would never be able to have a physical relationship with anyone other than the ones they loved- coz for many people, sex is not merely a need or desire, it is an expression of one's love. If you don't love a person, it becomes impossible to make love to him/her. And going by what Manav and Shravani believed that they would never fall in love with anyone other than Sachin/Archana, a physical relationship was totally out of the question.
But the tables turned when Shravani (for understandable reasons) fell in love with Manav. That does not mean that Manav should be forced to love her too, or do things he had never even dreamt about or be able to do with a woman he doesn't love. Coz many people find it repulsive.
The truth lay in Shravani's words- "I know you don't love me. But respect my love." It is bcoz of this that Manav doesn't talk to Archana openly in front of her. He has to talk to his own wife in secret. It is bcoz of this that he even tolerates (to an extent) her indifference and bad behavior to Archana, finding it understandable as a woman in love might feel. But when pressed to cross his boundary- he is unable to do it- these are the very same boundaries which he had unknowingly set for himself and not even thought that he would have to cross one day. Cos for a shy person like him, dancing with a girl is also a big thing.
And one more thing- Manav isn't cold and frustrated with Shravani cos of his love for Archana- it was always there- remember how he asked for permission to go to Varsha's reception. He is cold and frustrated now on two counts: 1.) Being rude to Archana when she is so good to Shravani 2.) Not being concerned about the family's problems and instead babbling on about Archana (it happened thrice- when they went to meet Vandu and got slapped, she was more interested in Manav-Archana's late coming than Vandu, secondly when Vandu and family came over for dinner, she was fifghting with Archu over her rights in the kitchen as a bahu 3.) tomorrow when she shouts at Archana.
Edited by nikitagmc - 15 years ago
-ALI- thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#33
It was not as if shravani didnt knew that MARRIAGE was compromise. If she had given him condition that she wants to live normal married life, manav would have never agreed for marriage. Remember what she said at time of agreeing to proposal EK RISHTE KO BACHANE K LIYE DUSRA RISHTA JODNA PADEga. This was a compromise to her as well at time of agreeing to marriage. Then if she changed later on its Her fault. I HARDLY SEE HER REMEMBERING sachn, I Hardly see hER THINKING ABOUT BABY. THEN WHY IS SHE HAVING INSURANCE MONEY ? True that savita nd manav made her feel like Her wife. BUT HOW COULD SHE FALL IN LOVE WITH Him. BUT STILL ITS HER FAULT. When manav agreed to marriage even after knowing that his wife would never come back:) WE ALL BLAMED HIM FOR HIS DECISION AND NOT HIS WIFE. when archana takes all abuses we all blame her MORE THAN Savita. Then if she is doing all there things SHE SHOULD BE HELD MORE RESPONSIBLE for it. If tomorrow she goes and kills someone how can someone marry her ?
-ALI- thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#34
I agree that these sort of things like today doesnt happen. What if rasika would have told her to get naked and dance ? Had she done this for vandu ? And all those guests would have kept quiet ? This was nothing less humiliating .
-ALI- thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#35
What right she has over policy money when she Doesnt care penny about baby ? Manav didnt force her to marry. She always knew that she will have to live in chawl and she knew this at time of agreeing TO MARRY Sachin too. So nothing big. Kool, i am not saying that she is bad from heart . But she is wrong. Its not that savita nd manav can change someone so much. She Herself is going all wrong way. I dont pity on her when she herself doesnt care about baby. GOING TO SLEEP. Take care .
gaurimisha thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#36
@stillhopeful:
I hadnt thought about it this way.
What u say makes sense...Manav would have become the blacksheep had he said something against Rasika,specially after the two wive intro....archana saying it actually proved more effective infront of the guests.
But still Manav keeping quiet doesnt look realistic...the CVs should have taken more care to atleast move him away from the scene till archana started speaking....there are many loose ends,CVs need to take care of to justify such melodrama....kaka stopping him through out was absolutely lame and stupid adn more than Manav what was domabar baba doing....she is his wife after all and how can he stand to see his wife getting insulted this way.....sometimes I feel PR gives all importance to children ...husband-wife ,sister-brother and rest all the relationships just take a backseat when children come into picture.
nikitagmc thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#37

Originally posted by: koolsadhu1000

No Tanya , it is definetely NOT a tea and snack . Manavs expectation that she shud live a life with him and endure ICEBERG treatment while he stealthily looks at Archu is Absolutely unacceptable .

Manav did not start this iceberg treatment cos he was more drawn to Archana. Neither cos he compared her to archana. In fact Archana herself explained that he should not compare her with Shravani. After that he even went and said sorry. She held his hand and he did not shrink back or pull his hand away as he would have done had he wanted to give her the ICEBERG treatment.
The situations when he has given her iceberg treatment was where I frankly feel, she deserved it from a third person point of view. Any person would have got irritated on her for two counts-
1.) being unpleasant to Archana when she is so sweet to her. Unnecessary tamasha that makes the house unpleasant- is the third person point of view.
2.) Quabbling about about Archana in the midst of important problems- it has happened thrice now. And these were the only times Manav behaved cold and irritated.
Other than that, he respected her love for him. He sat near her at the gudi padva function. He sat next to her at the function at Vandu's college. But the guy himself needs time to sort out how his marital life will be, coz these are questions he might even not have asked himself. As far as he was concerned, shravani WANTED this compromise, for the baby and for herself, since she did nt want to move ahead in life without Sachin and despite innumerable advice by Girish, Manav and even Savita, had obstinately said that she would die if forced for abortion or marriage. At that time, he had no idea that she would fall in love with him and even want to have a physical relationship with him.
Edited by nikitagmc - 15 years ago
unknown18 thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#38

Originally posted by: koolsadhu1000

Sid then thats NOT FAIR . Not RIGHT either .Marraige is no joke .Save the child yes , then what ??? There is a life AFTER that point that one has to visualise too and one must be prepared to deliver if need arises . Otherwise even the child will be exposed to very unhealthy relationship between parents ....a passionless , insipid relationship in which Dad buries himself in work and Mom constantly cries about Dads dead bro who was her first boyfriend , fretting and fuming that Dad just never grew interested in her as a man .Just see how that sounds and looks .

.

Compromise , bacha ke liye shaadi is ok , but one must also visualize that even that point will go and a big life lies ahead .And is it fair to ask the girl to live it like a nun for that one mistake she did in her life ? Yes , I can live like a monk coz I am special but she is simply an ordinary gal with ordinary desires . Will I like my own sister living like that ? These r the questions Manav shud be asked by Shravcani .


Kool, i didnt say it was fair or right. i was telling u the situation from Manav's pov. obviously i cant analyze this character like nikita or someone else, but this is what i feel about him. this is what his actions mean to me. he is not a normal guy. he is abnormal like Archana. whatever u r saying is right but Manav didnt think of this.
koolsadhu1000 thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#39
nikita
For whatever reasons they both agreed to marry ..................it is a MARRAIGE . Remember that , and respect that sanctity ......some one shud tell Manav .
Commiting to a higher cause , marrying for a baby and sleeping in different bedrooms for the rest of the life may sound very very noble and romantic but it is NOT feasible in reality as truth of life is that LIFE is all about change . Life doesnt stop . Sachin has GONe . Baby will be out in a month . She has youth ahead of her . Arre what compromise was she even understanding at that point , she is a young girl who has not seen much of life . What does she really know what the term compromise entails ? She was a sentimental gal who got carried away before marraige to Sachin and got pregnant ..........then again sentimental about the baby and decided to keep it although the most practical thing wud be to abort it , then got carried away by this 'wonderfully noble higher cause marraige ' concept presented to her by Manav , then when the baby got firmly rooted in her womb and abortion time passed like a typical young gal she sarted noticing other things like her saviour is very decennt , hot and any gals dream and much better than her earlier bf .....her brother , so plop ! She sentimentally fell for him , then like a senti young gal she started voicing her feelings loudly and talking frankly about them , sentimetally she tried to do things to please him , grew jealous again sentimentally as his first wife constantly hovered with UNMISTAKABLE love in her eyes and this guy was not exactly immune to it , Felt that she had no real chance so long as this Godly Virgin Nun was gonna constantly be around shining like no ones business , so she started screaming and kicking her .
Just look at that girl ...........did she seriously understand the meaning of cOMPROMISE as Manav saw it ? She is still exploring life and has not matured like Manav has due to his poverty . But Manav knew na , that this girl , of Vandus age , will expect more later perhaps , that this life that he was gonna give her was rather tough on a gal ?
She started treating Archu badly and lost his respect ...but who put ideas in her vulnerable mind throbbing with all confused emotions ? And Manavs cold icy behaviour did NOT help .........Go sleep inside .Let me tAlk to Archu .Arre koi bhi ladki pagal hokar Archana ko noch leti . Use pagalpan ke had tak Manav le gaya , by not understanding that her nEEDS will change . He was 31 , the elder , he shud have realised and understood .
And fine his heart is not there but what about respecting her feelings and giving it a try ? Like going out , dancing , trying to talk to her .........She doesnt get anything except take ur meds and sleep inside and that drove her crazy . His mom like Iago didnt help , she was no less . I feel more sorry for Shravni than Archu .
At least Archu understands her , Manav is INSENSITIVE .
-ALI- thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#40
Agree with niki. Add one more. He always respected her till she was normal. She even WENT TO TAKE HER PERMISSION to go to engagement. He got irritated with her only when she started to create dramas and unnecessary insults of archana. Thats where she lost his respect. Now you would say that savita brainwashed her ? Wasnt she supposed to be a educated girl with modern thinking. How come she got so easily influenced. True that manav said that you are going to be my wife but hasnt this girl got her own brain. Why cant she see that they are still married. She gets mad even if archana sees him. Why cant she see that how archana behaves with her ? Have she ever thought that how archana feels when she gets near manav ? She has lost her senses at moment already. On one hand she says that she trusts manav, then she says that she doesnt trust archana. What is this ?

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