Koolsadhu, for Manav's behavior today, I don't blame him. I blame Shravani.
This girl knew Manav didn't love her. She knew Manav wasn't happy with this marriage. Still she is ready to marry. Then what does she expect? That he will get dancing and intimate with her? That too in a jiffy... arey even men need time to get comfortable, that too shy men like Manav, and in this case he is in love with another girl. Why keep expectations when you know what the truth is??? Why hurt yourself?
Every person has limitations. Manav may have made a commitment, is standing by his word, but people fall weak where their inner instincts are concerned. He shrank back- not able to get close to Shravani. This is the essntial difference between being a commitment and love- Shravani is commitment, Archana is love. The mind keeps reminding you of commitment, the body/ heart responds to love. In these matters, even Manav couldn't have forced himself. His uncomfortable expressions would have given him away. And these things are not preplanned. People feel that they are strong and can handle this, but they never are so strong so as to betray what the heart and the subconscious mind desires. Neither Manav nor Shravani understood this thing- you can't force your heart in these matters.
Lets imagine it the other way around. Manav would never have tried to get intimate with Shravani since she was in mourning, she wouldn't have been comfortable- in fact she wanted to keep the child to remember Sachin. She wanted to keep Sachin alive through him. This marriage was not a way of moving ahead for her. It is not just Manav who had visualized the marriage as a compromise. She had visualized it as a compromise too. She had no intention of moving on AT ALL. Her father had told her that she must move ahead, Manav had told this to her too. But at that time, despite repeated advice, she had obstinately said that she wouldn't marry anyone else, and live all her life with Sachin's memories. If forced for marriage or abortion, she would commit suicide. Coz she COULD NOT SURRENDER TO ANY OTHER MAN OTHER THAN THE ONE SHE LOVED.
Which is why Manav had to step forward, and which is why she agreed. She knew he loved Archana too much and was decent enough never to force himself on Shrvani. The decision was from both sides. At that time, both of them had surrendered themselves to a higher cause- the baby. Both of them believed they would never be able to have a physical relationship with anyone other than the ones they loved- coz for many people, sex is not merely a need or desire, it is an expression of one's love. If you don't love a person, it becomes impossible to make love to him/her. And going by what Manav and Shravani believed that they would never fall in love with anyone other than Sachin/Archana, a physical relationship was totally out of the question.
But the tables turned when Shravani (for understandable reasons) fell in love with Manav. That does not mean that Manav should be forced to love her too, or do things he had never even dreamt about or be able to do with a woman he doesn't love. Coz many people find it repulsive.
The truth lay in Shravani's words- "I know you don't love me. But respect my love." It is bcoz of this that Manav doesn't talk to Archana openly in front of her. He has to talk to his own wife in secret. It is bcoz of this that he even tolerates (to an extent) her indifference and bad behavior to Archana, finding it understandable as a woman in love might feel. But when pressed to cross his boundary- he is unable to do it- these are the very same boundaries which he had unknowingly set for himself and not even thought that he would have to cross one day. Cos for a shy person like him, dancing with a girl is also a big thing.
And one more thing- Manav isn't cold and frustrated with Shravani cos of his love for Archana- it was always there- remember how he asked for permission to go to Varsha's reception. He is cold and frustrated now on two counts: 1.) Being rude to Archana when she is so good to Shravani 2.) Not being concerned about the family's problems and instead babbling on about Archana (it happened thrice- when they went to meet Vandu and got slapped, she was more interested in Manav-Archana's late coming than Vandu, secondly when Vandu and family came over for dinner, she was fifghting with Archu over her rights in the kitchen as a bahu 3.) tomorrow when she shouts at Archana.
Edited by nikitagmc - 15 years ago