Originally posted by: Tulsey
Sid, Tanya and Kool,
My daughter does not wear sleeveless to this day. she never wore deep neck like teenagers wear. Majority of the Indian/Pakistani kids listen to their parents and also parents have also learned to be give in. If the parents can teach their kids values of a good human being, that will go very far in a child's life. We have told our daughter that she can have friends but no "boyfriends" until she is in her mid university years. We encourage her to make her own decisions and do the right thing. I am always on my toes to keep an eye on her but this girl has never given me a moment to suspect her.
ONe thing I told her very early on that when you are under peer pressure or you are about to do something where your conscience will make you stop to think for a moment, you will know that it is not the right thing to do. If you would not allow your daughter to do what you would want to do or going to do, then you have the answer from your inner conscience. She is a very vocal girl like KOOL, says what she think is right and does not care about others around her IF she is doing the right thing. She has never touched cigarettes, never had a boyfriend to hold and kiss let alone sex, came home straight from school, etc etc....not that she never had the opportunities, but she holds her values dearly and everytime she goes to India she is disgusted with the way the girls and boys wear and behave.
I think at the end of the day, it is what a person values the most and stands up for it, no matter what. and this is what Shravani did not do. she did not need Sachin's family to help her with the baby...what ever, she could have shun the world and stayed at her rich father's house and raised up the child on her own. If the father could not keep her because she was bringing a bad name to him, then his true colors would come out. She could have moved out on her own or have gone to US with her father......
Your daughter is a really good girl.
My two thoughts on the subject, since what is being discussed here is basically my generation, their ideologies, clothes etc. I'm younger to most of you so I hope any fallacies would be considered lack of my experience in comparison with your watchful, experienced eyes.
Firstly speaking about myself- I wear all type of clothes unless short, revealing, vulgar or too shiny. Prefer simple clothes but dress up in tight jeans too if going to a party.
However I have a second side too... extremely simple clothes and salwar suits with hair tied back when with patients... since patients don't trust doctors who look prim and fashionable. They prefer a 'Jassi' type person for treating them, but a Katrina Kaif type nurse. The mentality is sad but true.
Second example: I hate alcohol and advise my friends who drink to stop drinking.
But there is a twist too- I had a nice tequila shot the day my college fest ended- we had worked horribly hard and the fest turned out to be a hit- we just wanted to get crazy and mad with happiness- and I even though I hate hypocrites, I decided to try alcohol just for that one day, first and last time, as an experiment- so that at the age of 60 I don't sit back and think I never did anything crazy in life or I should have done this and that. Try everything in life once is my motto, but have the self control to stop yourself. And I did it- and even though it was my first time- I didn't do anything wrong or bad, or even have a high- cos my mind was focussed on taking care of two friends of mine who were in a pretty bad state drunk. (all my friends were shocked to see my composed state- bdw, they are friends since long and trustworthy). I slept at 7 in the morning the next day. When I told my Mom, (with no guilt at all) she laughed and said 'I trust you that you won't drink again' and I said 'absolutely, the taste was BAD!!!' To this date, I don't feel I did anything wrong.
Now what I am trying to say is that this generation may appear uncultured to a lot of people but many times people don't know what is at the back of their minds. Look at me, I drank alcohol too.. that is a very small example but I hope you got the gist of what I am saying. Any one who saw me drink that day (although it was a very private affair with trustworthy friends) wud have thought bad about me too.
I feel this generation (particularly in India) has a tag of being grossly misunderstood. From what I have seen, they are modern people who do have a sense of right and wrong- live life to the fullest, but at the same time, don't hurt those who cannot/do not understand you. And so this generation hides a lot from their parents- about boyfriends/girlfriends/both!!! , bad grades, career choices etc. That too mostly in big cities like mumbai etc. They will go out coolly with their partners, even bed them. People from smaller towns like me have a different policy though- they have BF/GF's but don't tell at home saying right now my parents consider me immature so they won't take me seriously now. Let me give time to myself and this relationship and then will slowly explain things properly. Makes sense. (There's a third category of stupids like me who has dutifully promised Mom, I'll tell when I make a BF, and till today I and Mom are simply wiating, Hahahaha!!!)
Third Example: It is Navratri, I ate egg fried rice in lunch today. I'm from a Maharashtrian Brahmin family, and my Mom said, "good that you ate egg, you've overworked yourself and you need strength now." Neither I nor my Mom feel a bit guilty, even though my Mom is following these same rituals with utmost dedication at home. In fact when my friends objected, I said, "My God is not some officer with a certificate, my god is my friend, he will make me eat egg and fish forcefully saying take care of yourself."
What I want to say is... this same attitude stands for matters like religion. Youngsters today believe in God, everyone does, but nowadays don't practise it that much. They don't fast a lot or follow rules of religion that strictly, live and let live is their motto, best way to survive. And keep God happy by believing in him and working hard, not by doing pooja or following all those rules that were considered sacred a long time ago, do it as far as you can, respect them but at the same time be practical. (Although I have seen a very large no. of youngsters in the Siddhivinayak temple every time I have gone there).
This was what I felt about what others have written- about India's younger generation with respect to fashion, clothes, religion, alcohol etc. Now about relationships and social conduct.
These same youngsters, bold, smart and bashful as they are, however are completely off the hook when handling stress- this is what accounts for the bad names and bashing they get from others.
What Kools said of the call centre company and people who work there is absolutely true, however there is also a perspective to it that not many people know- these people are terribly overworked, frustrated with their job (call centre people work for long hours and night shifts for a job that can be done by a 12th pass out too, as far as I know, to top that, they sometimes have to face abusive language on the phone) and crestfallen at the way they handle their personal lives, along with horrible office politics. To solve one mess, they create another mess around them. They walk in and out of relationships, just as a person changes clothes- the reason? 80% times its not coz of blatant need for sex, but coz of need for some kind of stability, they don't get it from one, instead of trying harder, they walk into the next. I read an article a few days back, a psychological survey of people working in call centres- and what I have written above is precisely what the article reported.
There is of course a section of youngsters who say 'Who cares' and do whatever they want- shameful clothing, two timing, cheating parents, throwing parents out of the house etc etc But they are a minority, and the majority of our generation looks at them with contempt and 'oh you people' attitude. But living in a big town (Mumbai) and a small town (Jamnagar) at the same time and interacting with people from big and small towns with different mentalities as well as those who are from small towns and now living in mumbai- this is the general idea that I have got. Todays generation- as I see it- is practical, fast and wants everythng. But they haven't compromised on their morals and follow them. Boys will beat guys who trouble their sisters, they will want their parents to be proud of them, they are concerned about 'Papa kya sochenge'. Most of them think in ways I wrote above- want to have fun, thinking these days won't come back- but at the back of their heads they are aware of responsibility and duties- and discharge them to satisfaction. Nowadays, children are more free with their parents, and my parents feel proud when I tell them naughty tales of hostel life.
There are different perspectives for everything. I personally feel- this young generation in India is not bad, neither are they too 'westernized'. They are practical, that is true, but most of their future conduct depends a lot on situations- like the call centre truth I told above. Those guys need love and a good psychiatrist. 90% of this generation is honest within, fight for what is right, vote, are more responsible, want to eke out a better future, make their parents proud. They work with NGO''s and even want to join politics. They have a stand on most issues. The youth is very very active today and highly progressive
So please don't say, "I won't send my daughter to India cos she will get spoilt since this generation is very bad". Its not so bad. Give us a chance.
Edited by nikitagmc - 15 years ago
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