Vinod Moving Out-What Should the parents do..?

Rumii thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#1
In such a situation where Manjusha is not able to adjust( I somewhat agree living with 3 UNMARRIED NANADS IN SUCH A SMALL SPACE IS NOT AN EASY TASK😕- leaving the point whether it's the Conspiring jealous Bahu Manujusha or not ) and Vinod has decided to live seperately to avoid/solve some of the domestic conflicts .... what should his parents do..? Sulochana Taai has alwayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyys been Overreacting n too Emotional,often Spoiling things in her Daughters' lives..... was her reaction in Vinod's case Ok?? OMG She was So oversensitive when Vinod told his parents that he would conttinue to contribute..... that was So responsible of Vinod as Vinod has always been the PEREFECT SON!! Couldn't Sulochana she have reacted in more Practical way.?? She left No Stone unturned to make Vinod feel 'guilty'.....I know nowadays lots of Bete-Bahus living seperately n they have Wonderful relationship with their parents.... It is of course heart Wrenching to see kids being seperated but it's also necessary to be practical to keep harmony n peace in the family!! It's very very important for parents to understand that in the way that they have/expect to have Importance in their Children' lives So do their Kids' spouses !! And if some li'l changes make their life easier;if they're not bothering the parents..... WHY NOT accept and allow that happily? After all at the end of the day it's the Happiness of the children and peace in the family that matters /should matter!!
Edited by iamindian - 15 years ago

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kshre25 thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#2
You bring up an interesting point. However, if Manjusha wasn't such a kaamchor or scheming-life-destroying witch, I would side with you completely. I see how in the little house with so many people she doesn't have enough physical or personal space. But that doesn't mean you go around destroying people's lives. When Archana was in the house Manjusha didn't have to lift a finger, she did everything regarding the house but also to go as far as taking care of Punni. I mean who does that? Take care of your own kid and if you don't want to, why did you have one?

If Vinod would have moved out earlier, maybe things wouldnt' have gotten this far. However, at the same time Manjusha knew Vinod was going to stay with his parents, like her mom said she chose this life. Also, the three nanads aren't going to stay forever, all of them are going to leave then its just the four of them and punni.

I'm not so sure Sulochana was over reacting cause she just got a shock. On her part she was trying her best to keep peace in the house and this kinda proved that she failed. Also, yes its very responsible of Vinod to provide money for his parents but the way he said it to Sulochana at that time, made it seem like he thought the only reason his parents wouldnt' let him go was because of the money he brings in.
I think that maybe Manjusha staying away from the family for awhile will help bring ArMan together and the family together as well.
Edited by kshre25 - 15 years ago
nikitagmc thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#3
This is a very good point you raised... in fact i was thinking the same thing... personally I feel bad when children leave their parents for selfish reasons... but I also understand that sometimes it becums more practical or situations get out of control so separation is inevitable... sometimes children want to move to a different city for better jobs but parents don't want to leave their old relations behind... or sometimes space in house is less for so many members, or if the MIL and DIL fight a lot
The best option is always to sort the issues otherwise they will never have good relations in future too as they will have bitterness in their hearts whenever they meet. I understand Vinod's point of view too.. its better to live separately peacefully rather than fight everyday and worsen relationships, i think depending on the situation it is the duty of both the parents and the wife to understand that it is the man who suffers.. so they must cooperate amongst themselves...
If it still not possible... for practical reasons as above... then the parents shud understand the son's dilemma and not make him feel more guilty, and the wife shud make sure that she makes efforts to keep good relations with her in laws if they move out and not distance the son from his parents.. if they are living separately, it doesn't mean that they have to break all relations with each other...
Eventually it is Vinod, Manju and most of all Punni who will have to suffer...In Vinod's case I feel bad for him and for Punni... he is very attached to his family... and Punni really needs some positive people around her to bring her up well. Manju neither has the time (and from where I see.. neither the interest) nor the capability to bring Punni up well as of now... she really isn't able to handle Punni. One day after Archu's bidaai... she was struggling to get Punni ready for school.. she didn't even know her school uniform... (and we know she's bad.. real bad..) after years of waking up late, she won't be able to handle the house unless she leaves everything to some maid, the way she keeps running away from work, she won't be able to handle her house.
Rumii thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#4
KSHRE25 I like your post BUT I CANNOT Agree with you on this fact though -if Manjusha wasn't such a kaamchor WELL,MANJUSHA WORKS in an Office..... isn't that Enough? If she Doesn't give any Money from her income into the common family pool,that's BAD of course but in big cities Daughters-in-law Who work GET ALL THEIR HELP from Their SAAS n NANADS who stay at home n there's nothing Wrong!! After all how much can a person work..?? After coming from office there's not much energy left to work at home n anyways people who stay at home can do all the mouusework,there's nothing Wrong in that!
ANOTHER Point from Kshre25's post-- I mean who does that? Take care of your own kid and if you don't want to, why did you have one?
ALL GRANDPARENTS/ AUNTS Do that n that's love.... it's Not COMPULSORY in indian Society that the Parents Wil take care of the child on a Day-To-Day basis..... we've been taken care of by our Old Grandmother because our Mother Went out to Work SO IT'S NOT WRONG IN MAJUSHA's CASE to leave her daughter with her Saas or Archana! Yeah,it's another MAJOR point that Manju gave a Plated Necklace To Archana or Manju doesn't contribute anything to the family Expenses...... but as far as grandparents/aunts taking care of children it's 100% normal..... IF you look around ,you'll see this situation in 95% of Indian families Otherwise how would the BAhus work?????????????????????????
Edited by iamindian - 15 years ago
stunninstar thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#5

I never like it when vinod suppports manjusha.. but just loved when he didnt say NO to when manjusha said that she wants to shift to the flat.. if people cannot adjust with each other its better that they live separately.. Atleast the love that is still not lost will remain.. i think if vinod continues living with his parents and sisters and continue supporting his wifes "baseless" excuses then he will soon be not a very "good" brother.. all the three sisters will turn against him too.. and its good that manjusha is away..the workload is reduced and they will have more peace at home..

if she is home then she will close all the doors for a reunion between manav and archana, will try the best to break the budding relation between varsha and satish, and spoil if something good comes fr vaishu..

archu's aai shud realise that her D-I-L is not any sati savitri.. and its better fr all of them if she stays away from their family..!!

Rumii thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#6
NIKITA GMC Well Written👍🏼If it still not possible... for practical reasons as above... then the parents shud understand the son's dilemma and not make him feel more guilty, and the wife shud make sure that she makes efforts to keep good relations with her in laws if they move out and not distance the son from his parents.. if they are living separately, it doesn't mean that they have to break all relations with each other...
-ALI- thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#7
Well said both nikitag and iamindian. totally agree.
Every parents shud understand ons dilemma. If you have a decent and nice DIL,then fabulous, but if like manjusha, one shud better adjust........
nikitagmc thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#8
Thanks I am Indian, but unfortunately, I don't think Manjusha will make any attempt to be on good terms with her in laws... ultimately all 3 are going to suffer...
kshre25 thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#9

Originally posted by: iamindian

KSHRE25 I like your post BUT I CANNOT Agree with you on this fact though -if Manjusha wasn't such a kaamchor WELL,MANJUSHA WORKS in an Office..... isn't that Enough? If she Doesn't give any Money from her income into the common family pool,that's BAD of course but in big cities Daughters-in-law Who work GET ALL THEIR HELP from Their SAAS n NANADS who stay at home n there's nothing Wrong!! After all how much can a person work..?? After coming from office there's not much energy left to work at home n anyways people who stay at home can do all the mouusework,there's nothing Wrong in that!

ANOTHER Point from Kshre25's post-- I mean who does that? Take care of your own kid and if you don't want to, why did you have one?
ALL GRANDPARENTS/ AUNTS Do that n that's love.... it's Not COMPULSORY in indian Society that the Parents Wil take care of the child on a Day-To-Day basis..... we've been taken care of by our Old Grandmother because our Mother Went out to Work SO IT'S NOT WRONG IN MAJUSHA's CASE to leave her daughter with her Saas or Archana! Yeah,it's another MAJOR point that Manju gave a Plated Necklace To Archana or Manju doesn't contribute anything to the family Expenses...... but as far as grandparents/aunts taking care of children it's 100% normal..... IF you look around ,you'll see this situation in 95% of Indian families Otherwise how would the BAhus work?????????????????????????



You're right, how much can a person work, but when Archana left, wasn't it Vinod who would make Punni ready for school etc? Doesn't Vinod work full-time? Also wasn't it varsha and vaishu who helped Savita in the kitchen, dont' they have work and school full time? Thats is why I called Manju a kaam chor. So now she's going to move into her own house. Who's going to do the work there? Isnt' she going to have to spend more money for a maid? just because she moves into a flat doens't mean her income is going to increase. Isn't it only going to decrease seeing as Varsha's salary & Baba's pension is no longer around to support the household. Sure there are less mouths to feed, but they now have to pay for everything in the house. Don't get me wrong, I'm not against secular families, my problem with Manjusha is that she doesn't value anything.
I am familiar with how Indian society works with relatives helping take care of a child. Trust me I have no problem with that, personally it would have been super cool to have cousins to play with all the time. My issue is more with the idea that just because someone brings in money into the house doesn't mean that they are of more value to household. Manjusha constantly complains about money in the house and no one says anything against her, because she is bringing in money. But if you think about it at the end of the day her work is done, but those who stay at home their work continues until they go to bed and the starts moment they wake up. They have done many studies about if people who stayed at home were paid for the work they do, they'd be making 2 to 3 times more than an average salary, mostly because they are working 16 hours a day, 7 days a week with no vacation. This is not something that is going to change over night nor do I expect it to. My only point is people who stay at home are very undervalued and Manjusha is definitely guilty of all that.





koolsadhu1000 thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#10
In such a case it is my opinion that the parents shud just let the son go , realising he has grown up and his life has started .
Whether his wife is right or wrong is not the issue here . The real fact is the parent's' role in their sons life is over .............he is learning to stand on his own in the world and has a blood family of his own and needs to branch out . This is how it always was.........even in the animal kingdom .
What remains is his responsibilities towards his parents......seeing to it that till the end they do not lack for food or medical attentiion . The emotional part varies with everyone according to their individual upbringing . Sometimes the emotional bonding is so strong that inspite of living seperately till the end that bond remains . Sometimes , duties r done , but emotionally the son outgrows his parents and bluntly finds more pleasure in his wife's company , his own children and sometimes even the wife's family whom he finds attractive for various reasons of his own . Like for instance , if his own parents r too strict , too traditional , too rigid and the wife's parents r more fun loving , jolly , modern in their outlook , if he can joke around with his brother in laws and sister in laws ..........he will simply not miss his own family as such . Each relation in this world is outgrown at some point or the other is the sad but true fact of life .
Manjusha is an extremely selfish and scheming individual who is totally under her mother's thumb . The family is not good..........just like there is a bad apple in an apple basket , there r some families who r just simply bad , and Manjusha's family is like that . They r bad blood ,pure and simple . Rasika , Ajit and Manjusha destroy innocents simply for the sake of it . The way Manjusha laughs silently ,covering her mouth is simply disgusting and shows what a petty , small minded woman she is . She goes scot free in this serial .........Like Manav commented that what diffrence does it make now when Varsha tells him that Archana did not do the complaint , similiarly a lot of Manjusha's wrong doings simply wont make a diffrence even if they r eventually pointed out as with the passage of time they will lose significance .
As a bahu she is selfish too ..........she uses her job as an excuse to shirk housework . She uses her daughter Punni as an excuse to extract maximum for herself .............by not contributing to the household expenses , or any event , and evades respobnsibility . But she does know how to extract the benefits of a joint family ..........free readymade dabbas of home food , readymade meals , no expenses and using salary for personal expenses only , and using daughter as an asset which she dangles before her aged saas sasur to shirk every work and responsibility .
She is lucky to get good saas sasurs . Her sister in laws r comparatively insipid and harmless compared to some real bitchy nanands in this world . Even Varsha hasnt really harmed her marraige with Vinod by telling him some horrible home truths about his seemingly goofy wife . Varsha's tiffs with her r really useless ones . In fact Manjusha has harmed Varsha more than vice versa . When Manju tells tales it hits the mark ..........She got Varsha thrown out of Vinods good books and Sulochana slapped her . Manju's politics gets RESULTS . Varsha's tiffs r nothing but getting the last word in an argument that only gets some ego satisfaction .
I waited to see if Varsha will expose Manju for what she is in a public event and get her slapped by Vinod and thrown out of the house forever . If at all a divorce is shown in PR I wanna see it between Manju and Vinod with him winning full custody of Punni . I want Varsha to gain this satisfaction as Manju WRECKED Manav and Archanas Life .
Maybe i went off topic .....but this was what came to my mind . Manju has every right as a bahu to move out , but i dont think she will excel as a wife , in house keeping skills , or even as a mother . Frankly i dont know what kind of a love marraige she even has with Vinod as she puts herself before him in every little or big thing . Manju loves herself more than her feelings for Vinod . In that sense , although i finf nothing wrong with her moving out decision , I dont see it as a wise move either as she is extremely inept to live independently .

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