Baap jaisa ya Baap se badhkar?

I worked up the gumption to watch the epi finally somehow😆.....I weirdly liked it....for odd reasons maybe.....I definitely liked it way more than yesterday's episode.

A word for Ashnoor.....kiddo, you are OUTSTANDING.....this has been some AMAZING acting from her especially in today's epi as well as yesterday's epi.....she did a stupendous job of showing a Mini who's struggling with her hurt and retreating into a shell over each spell of hurtfulness from Babita and HS. Some people have a knack for taking a script to another level.....Ashnoor is one of those people.

And ofcourse, the other person here is Aniruddh....but before I get to the last scene.....a word for the Laale-HS scene and the standout exchange of the epi.....When Laale states that HS has been MORE than a father to Mini (Baap se BADHKAR), HS responds ki Baap JAISA toh na ban sakaa...I couldn't be LIKE a father. After many days of muddled story, and no real coherent explanation for what's driving HS ki psyche these days, there was a glimpse of something there that piqued my interest. HS feels Babita is forcing him to label what he shares with Mini....he may himself have used the father label many times with Mini but their relationship has always been way beyond that of a father and daughter. It was a revealing dialogue today when he said, "Baap JAISA na ban sakaa".....it weighs on him...its being made to weigh on him that he couldn't be LIKE a father. That pressure has built up into frustration and more devolving from him now.

Which brings me to the other question....who gets to decide how a father "should" be? What is the definition of "LIKE a father" here? What boxes need to be checked to BECOME a father? HS further stated that you can't FORCE relationships which is again very true. When him and Mini were progressing naturally without anyone TELLING them to act a certain way, call each other something.....they were doing just fine....developing organically. Then came the CD fiasco where he himself presumed Mini didn't accept him as a father....and then came Babita's ultimatums about how he BETTER be a father to Mini or else🤔....and the situation continuously nosedived from there.

Lala's line about how it can take a lifetime to become a father in many ways was bang on....I wish this conversation was expanded upon more.....it was the most interesting convo of the epi.

And finally coming to the last scene.....this is where my reactions get weird😆.... for some weird reason, the way HS said, "Idhar aa" to Mini, it just warmed my heart😆.....his entire scolding spell, even if it came out of pent up frustration over being pushed into a corner by Babita, just had this level of apnapan to it....lol I dunno if that makes sense....it's hard to describe....even as Mini's reaction continued to get more and more mutinous with a monotone and dull responses, he continued to tell her to tone down the attitude....again, I can't describe why but despite her seemingly retreating into a shell on the surface, it felt like a surprising level of connection and apnapan passing between them in that moment. In fact, even though Mini was throwing disappointed looks at Babita in b/w for clearly having not given the full picture to HS, it was her reactions to HS that were surprisingly making me laugh😆.....especially the ending bit when she's like, "Can I go now?" and HS looked a bit thrown off but said, yes I'm done for now😆......I almost felt sorry for him there.....the real struggle of dealing with a teenager seemed to finally strike him there😆

Him throwing in the Ashok reference was definitely wrong on his part.....but for some weird reason, I was more hurt when he called Mini a "teesra" than whatever he said today....both things were still wrong in my eyes....but even his scolding today had an apnapan despite his reference to Ashok.....while the teesra line in of itself just pushed Mini away.

Both Babita and HS are failing as parents right now. For different reasons. The intent of this track seems to be to show them faltering badly in Mini's eyes to validate Mini's "Can you deal with it and still make it work?" funda😆

I don't think there is any point even getting into the many levels of failure as a parent from Babita.

I'll circle back to HS for a bit....I don't know why but the thought just struck me in the last scene....in the middle of his rant, he said one line...."Jaisa mujhe samajh mein aata hai father karte hain, main waisa hi kar raha hoon".....is there any connection here to how his own father treated him? Is that why he struggles with how to behave as a "strict" and "scolding" wala father? Dunno why but it just made me wonder if there's any baggage there that also adds to his struggle to figure out how to parent Mini.

I'm probably overthinking.....lol drama hi chalna hai. But I liked today's epi.

Seems like reconciliation will happen by tomorrow in some form and then on to next round of insecurities....Mini feeling like a third wheel between HB seems like a long term track.

I don’t know yaar, why cvs showing only dramas? No happy moments at all. Families don’t enjoy or what? Before shadi it used to be so peaceful. Ek ajeeb dar ke dekh rahe hai Sab. Full Pb became kichidi no meaningful at all.Mini kabhi bhi Hasti to fake lag Rahi hai. No Hanni moments missing them badly.

The way he called her Queen Victoria in the middle of the scolding...

And yes. HS-Lala's conversation confirmed some of our suspicions, that he's afraid of being pushed aside by Minnie/rejected as her father, forced to conform to an image of a father that he personally isn't convinced by because of Babita. Mentioning Ashok was out of the blue and for me it showed that he's struggling with the burden of not being labeled sautela.

As for going beyond what a baap does, there's another interesting point. It didn't matter that he was so far above that level in his love and care for Minnie, what was expected of him was just the baseline fatherly stuff. Does he feel suffocated? Yes. Does he feel he has to retract to the baseline? Possibly. Can he continue to be this kind of father? Definitely not. He will explode.

The confession and wedding was being rushed and now Babita wants to rush him to become a father to Minnie. Aise na chalega.

Originally posted by: Indulatha

I don’t know yaar, why cvs showing only dramas? No happy moments at all. Families don’t enjoy or what? Before shadi it used to be so peaceful. Ek ajeeb dar ke dekh rahe hai Sab. Full Pb became kichidi no meaningful at all.Mini kabhi bhi Hasti to fake lag Rahi hai. No Hanni moments missing them badly.

Iska jawaab nahin hai mere paas why they are showing only drama now😆

Shaadi = syaapa....sabki zindagi barbaad karne wala syaapa.....lol

Dunno if/when the writers will ever rise above this mentality.

Originally posted by: inlieu

The way he called her Queen Victoria in the middle of the scolding...

And yes. HS-Lala's conversation confirmed some of our suspicions, that he's afraid of being pushed aside by Minnie/rejected as her father, forced to conform to an image of a father that he personally isn't convinced by because of Babita. Mentioning Ashok was out of the blue and for me it showed that he's struggling with the burden of not being labeled sautela.

As for going beyond what a baap does, there's another interesting point. It didn't matter that he was so far above that level in his love and care for Minnie, what was expected of him was just the baseline fatherly stuff. Does he feel suffocated? Yes. Does he feel he has to retract to the baseline? Possibly. Can he continue to be this kind of father? Definitely not. He will explode.

The confession and wedding was being rushed and now Babita wants to rush him to become a father to Minnie. Aise na chalega.

It was the forced to conform angle that really stuck out to me in today's scenes....isse pehle there were just vague references to his fear/insecurity of being rejected by Mini as a father.....for the first time, we've been given a more coherent reason for what's messing his mind up more......the way Babita is forcing him to conform to the label of a father.....not letting him and Mini approach it organically.

@bold: That point really intrigued me today.....but I don't really have faith in the writers to properly explore any thread these days since they muddle up all the threads......lol

If only they could actually pursue that path....explore his psyche regarding his perception of what a father can be, and whether or not he wants to conform to that with Mini....he's already been way more than a father to her.....I prefer this anyday over lame contrived attempts to paint all his love for Mini as some attempt to gain access to Babita.

Wedding was rushed and a disaster.....na shaadi khushi mein ki, na uske baad khush hain sab.....and Babita can only be counted on to mess up things further, bas.

Re: the sautela label and the reference to Ashok....yeah, that's possible too....but it's inevitable given how they are setting up the drama ki HS will likely face more of these accusations of behaving like a "stepfather".....although to me, ironically, his reaction was anything but stepfatherly......it was more like an awkward attempt to be a father against his core nature.....when you do things against your nature, they never sit easy on you. When he was allowed to be himself, he was more naturally a father....MORE than a father to Mini.

I had thought these things would crop up more if Ashok came back to trigger them.....yeh log toh khud se hi trigger huye baithe hain.....lol abhi se yeh haal hai toh if Ashok ever comes back, tab kaise handle karenge yeh teen?

I usually skip episodes but I watched last two episodes and I agree with you about each and every point. However I didn't feel that apanapan when he was talking to Mini. I felt HS was confused, frustrated and at one point I felt may be he is acting up to show it to Babita that she is totally wrong in forcing him to act like a dad. But now I think it was done out of frustration or unintentionally he was copying his dad.

Yes that conversation at the police station was really meaningful. I think this is what most people do...…….including myself......we see others living life a certain way and wish our families should be exactly like that. A good father will always play soccer with her child, a good father will do this or that. All parents have their share of frustrations where they feel their partners don't measure up unless they do a certain task. Most of us have the luxury of learning at a slow pace and don't face the tremendous pressure like Babita.

This is what Nain bee(I hope I am writing her name correctly) mentioned in one of the earlier episodes. This will be a great learning opportunity for Babita. To the people who think that writer is not doing justice to Babita's character are wrong because as a mom I can clearly see where she is wrong. I can understand her frustration and her pain. She is making the same mistake that we moms make all the time.

However as a person who deals with teenagers every day, I can totally see that Mini is 100% correct from her perspective. That's how young people are and it's expected from parents(and rightfully so) to understand the ones who lack wisdom and experience. This is where Babita will need to learn from her in-laws and work like a team with HS and Mini.

Originally posted by: Rachna.KG

I usually skip episodes but I watched last two episodes and I agree with you about each and every point. However I didn't feel that apanapan when he was talking to Mini. I felt HS was confused, frustrated and at one point I felt may be he is acting up to show it to Babita that she is totally wrong in forcing him to act like a dad. But now I think it was done out of frustration or unintentionally he was copying his dad.

Yes that conversation at the police station was really meaningful. I think this is what most people do...…….including myself......we see others living life a certain way and wish our families should be exactly like that. A good father will always play soccer with her child, a good father will do this or that. All parents have their share of frustrations where they feel their partners don't measure up unless they do a certain task. Most of us have the luxury of learning at a slow pace and don't face the tremendous pressure like Babita.

This is what Nain bee(I hope I am writing her name correctly) mentioned in one of the earlier episodes. This will be a great learning opportunity for Babita. To the people who think that writer is not doing justice to Babita's character are wrong because as a mom I can clearly see where she is wrong. I can understand her frustration and her pain. She is making the same mistake that we moms make all the time.

However as a person who deals with teenagers every day, I can totally see that Mini is 100% correct from her perspective. That's how young people are and it's expected from parents(and rightfully so) to understand the ones who lack wisdom and experience. This is where Babita will need to learn from her in-laws and work like a team with HS and Mini.

LOL you're defending Babita now? Didn't you say on Twitter a few days back that you couldn't stand her? 😆.....Anyways, I feel too exhausted by Babita now so I'm not gonna get into that.

It's Naeem Bi actually....we call her NB for short, if that helps😆

I agree about the point that many of us apply expectations of behavior based on what we see in society around us rather than our own independent mindsets.

Mini's diary entry today was an interesting stream of consciousness.....her point about how we are all built from our memories and past experiences....good dialogue.

@the apnapan: it's interesting you mention this because I felt hints of it too. I'm bringing a bit of bias here but the way HS scolded Minnie, it was quite realistic. The idhar aa, what is this I'm hearing, how have you been talking to your mother, this type of behavior won't be tolerated in this house, shakal aur attitude se na laage ki tujhe aayi samaj, Minnie's silent temper, her sharp eyes, her repeating what she understood with a steely edge, and then that final sarcastic remark with a hint of defiance to it - it was all so real!

Despite the words being thrown at her, there was an incredible warmth underlying it. It was a father scolding his daughter - it's as simple as that.

When Babita was yelling at Minnie, I felt like there was a literal rift between them where Babita was crossing lines and just could not see Minnie at all. She couldn't really see her daughter, everything she's done for her, nor how hurt she will be by Babita's anger. Minnie had mentioned the lack of apnapan in her diary too. Dunno if she felt an apnapan when HS scolded her, but there were strong hints of it for me.

@HS' father: We know that his dad was a violent man in words and his actions. We also know that he beat HS up as well. That's why I think HS wants to avoid any such negative reactions from ever being repeated in the house. Whether it's yelling, screaming, or physical abuse - they're all banned. Although he did say that as a parent Babes had the right to her if it's a means of discipline, so I'm not really sure where he stands on that. He was beat, but surely he mustn't think it's okay for parents to hit their children now. Especially given how despite being a police officer, he's constantly advocating for non-violence.

When it comes to disciplinary action, he has always used different tactics. Whether it's the countdown, simply yelling, or threatening Minnie to make her stand outside of the house - they have never been the typical violent approach.

It'll never happen, but I would love to see him go to his FIL and ask him for some fatherly tips.

ha ha lol.....Didn't want to label a mom as a bad mom because I firmly believe that moms are not bad. Yes some are wise and others lack experience and wisdom but as a general rule we can fairly assume that intent is not bad.

Do I like Babita's character and the answer is a big No but still I can see many young and inexperienced moms are just like Babita. I haven't watched the beginning of this show as I used to watch one episode in a week or even less. But right from the beginning wasn't she shown as a weaker character. And now that weak character is transforming and becoming stronger. But that maturity and strength of character is still missing. Her tantrums, frequent outbursts and Insecurities make her a weak or shall we say a very shallow mom.

Originally posted by: asmaanixx

@the apnapan: it's interesting you mention this because I felt hints of it too. I'm bringing a bit of bias here but the way HS scolded Minnie, it was quite realistic. The idhar aa, what is this I'm hearing, how have you been talking to your mother, this type of behavior won't be tolerated in this house, shakal aur attitude se na laage ki tujhe aayi samaj, Minnie's silent temper, her sharp eyes, her repeating what she understood with a steely edge, and then that final sarcastic remark with a hint of defiance to it - it was all so real!

Despite the words being thrown at her, there was an incredible warmth underlying it. It was a father scolding his daughter - it's as simple as that.

@bold: YES....exactly! I can't really describe how much it hit home and felt so very real....that is why I felt a sense of apnapan and warmth in it despite the otherwise grave nature of the scene

When Babita was yelling at Minnie, I felt like there was a literal rift between them where Babita was crossing lines and just could not see Minnie at all. She couldn't really see her daughter, everything she's done for her, nor how hurt she will be by Babita's anger. Minnie had mentioned the lack of apnapan in her diary too. Dunno if she felt an apnapan when HS scolded her, but there were strong hints of it for me.

Yes, the rift with Babita is definitely much bigger for Mini right now.....cuz Babita is way more clueless as well.....she only keeps compounding her mess.....despite the way Mini showed her hurt in the scene when she came back, Babita was still stewing in her ego in the last scene as she waited for HS to scold Mini on her behalf. And yes, Mini's diary entry also shows that she is feeling off balance and distant from her mother now.....something Babita totally fails to see in her attempts to supposedly manage Mini ki reputation. She still has no full cognizance of the cheap shot she took with the Meeta comment.

With HS, I'm not saying Mini felt an apnapan in that last scene.....lol oh she was fully a mutinous kid in that moment.....it was HS who was awkwardly scolding her with a sense of apnapan......and it was me who was feeling an apnapan towards both of them....I don't know if I'm making any sense😆

@HS' father: We know that his dad was a violent man in words and his actions. We also know that he beat HS up as well. That's why I think HS wants to avoid any such negative reactions from ever being repeated in the house. Whether it's yelling, screaming, or physical abuse - they're all banned. Although he did say that as a parent Babes had the right to her if it's a means of discipline, so I'm not really sure where he stands on that. He was beat, but surely he mustn't think it's okay for parents to hit their children now. Especially given how despite being a police officer, he's constantly advocating for non-violence.

When it comes to disciplinary action, he has always used different tactics. Whether it's the countdown, simply yelling, or threatening Minnie to make her stand outside of the house - they have never been the typical violent approach.

Yes, his father was a violent man who probably beat him up.....HS does subscribe to discipline but today I got a sense of deep vulnerability from him....He doesn't want to be that kind of strict father but the way Babita keeps pressuring him probably is triggering some deeply repressed memory of his father in terms of "strict discipline"....he isn't being able to apply his own brand of naram garam approach that he did naturally.....Babita rebuked him and told him that it's not good enough to deem him a "real" father.....so he's off balance and applying whatever other approaches he's seen in life....including maybe that of his own father....which is why it's coming out so harshly, so awkwardly.

It'll never happen, but I would love to see him go to his FIL and ask him for some fatherly tips.LOL yeah we shouldn't expect much.....right now the writers are more interested in showing 50 shades of how HS can mess up in trying to be a father....so right approach toh dikhaayenge nahin😆