The Roles in a Marriage - Page 5

Originally posted by: kriya_12

will that really happen now ....🤔

Pata nahin. I just wish... Something like that omelette scene was so unexpected but beautifully portrayed their emotions and helped them show what they mean to each other.

Excellent analysis of the episode by you, Anu! 👏

Originally posted by: AreYaar

Ya toh writers clearly dikhaayein that her problem is actual intimacy....but here toh she doesn't even want to continue the basic friendship they used to have.....that's weird.

And yes, I did not like the way HB forced Mini and basically ordered her to not go see her grandparents.....reason was also flimsy.....usually HS achhe se samjhaata tha mother-daughter ko to make them see reason....now he's just blindly agreeing with Babita on everything and expecting Mini to do the same......

Yes I find her maintaining distance even on the friendship front weird. That aspect is not new to her relationship, so why would she want to change the status quo with him in that regard if she hasn't done that with Minnie?

HS is talking to Minnie through Babita now, so he isn't disciplining her the way he normally would. Don't know how long this will last - they used to be able to speak openly about anything, and seeing them like this jarring.

Originally posted by: Jiarao

Dil ke arman aansuo mein beh Gaye......

Bhaad mein jaaye Babitha aur uski insecurities. Hame Hamaare father daughter de do CVs

I agree. They are more fun to watch than confused Babita. She is just plain rude- she was sweeter to him when she was not attracted to him. Since she realized she likes him, she is treating him worse everyday.

Hannie scenes were always consistent- except this new track

Originally posted by: inlieu

Yes I find her maintaining distance even on the friendship front weird. That aspect is not new to her relationship, so why would she want to change the status quo with him in that regard if she hasn't done that with Minnie?

HS is talking to Minnie through Babita now, so he isn't disciplining her the way he normally would. Don't know how long this will last - they used to be able to speak openly about anything, and seeing them like this jarring.

He is also not disciplining her because his focus is more on appeasing Babita.....after the ultimatum she's given him regarding Mini, he isn't really himself.....he had a certain level of pride in his ability to solve things, handle things......when Babita lashed out at him that this marriage is nothing if he doesn't prioritize Mini, it hurt him deep that Babita thought he wouldn't prioritize Mini....so instead of handling things in his strict way to actually solve them, he's now just nodding along to whatever Babita asks for so that she feels her demands are being met on the Mini front. I do feel HS is struggling on his own level with a feeling of helplessness and it will only worsen his confidence if this continues like this.....blindly appeasing Babita won't make anyone happy...including Babita herself, despite what she may think.

As for Babita, one can only speculate.....lol the writers are likely going to try to justify this as a guilty mother conflict although the scenes aren't reflecting those nuances properly.....only other possibility is that Babita actually thinks that marriage duties only involve sex and she's spooked after seeing the Ashok marriage CD again, so she's trying to work up the courage to offer herself up on that front to HS.....she's treating it like a chore she's not ready for and tangling up the whole thing....the way she was talking about it in the "I need time" scene did seem to reflect that she's approaching it like a project in her head that she still needs to prepare for mentally....rather than letting things flow organically.

It's still funny that she agreed or rather initiated the idea of the marriage to begin with without taking this future state into account....but if indeed she was looking at it as a duty she would fulfill when the time came and now that the time is here, she isn't ready for it, then someone needs to clue HS in on her state of mind.....he is also happily playing along with her seva mode without seeming to realize her real issues.

I'd said this in the build up to the wedding in one of my threads as well.....Babita didn't seem to have a clue that transition is coming....she was treating the transition to wife as an easy thing and claiming that nothing would change.....HS was the one talking about how the equation would evolve beyond a dost after marriage....but Babita, in her typical obtuse fashion, doesn't seem to have thought through things beyond ceremony and duty.....and so when the actual situation is in front of her, she doesn't know how to handle it and seems to be flustered about how to behave with him.....which is why ab na dosti hai, na wife hai.....beech mein kahin latak rahi hai Babita.

And I also really don't get why HS was expecting a normal marriage.....lol he went in the other direction from Babita....she had no clue transition is coming and he expected almost seamless transition to husband-wife mode....LOL....he actually thought Babita would easily fall into wife mode.....dunno why....despite all he's seen of her hang-ups.

Originally posted by: AaishaM

You people are too funny 😆

Tum mujhe time do, mai tumhe chai pakode dungi. hahaha. Babita's words "Shadishuda hone ka kuch to fayda ho" keep ringing in my ears. Chai pakode vala fayda to sach me Lala hi kara deta tha. Infact vo to sir sahab ke dukh bhi baant leta tha😆

Wohi toh.....Lala ke saath atleast dil wala connection toh hota Sir Saab ka.....part-time biwi toh waise bhi bana hi hua tha Lala....bas formalize hi karna tha.....aevein Babita beech mein aa gayi😆

Originally posted by: AreYaar

He is also not disciplining her because his focus is more on appeasing Babita.....after the ultimatum she's given him regarding Mini, he isn't really himself.....he had a certain level of pride in his ability to solve things, handle things......when Babita lashed out at him that this marriage is nothing if he doesn't prioritize Mini, it hurt him deep that Babita thought he wouldn't prioritize Mini....so instead of handling things in his strict way to actually solve them, he's now just nodding along to whatever Babita asks for so that she feels her demands are being met on the Mini front. I do feel HS is struggling on his own level with a feeling of helplessness and it will only worsen his confidence if this continues like this.....blindly appeasing Babita won't make anyone happy...including Babita herself, despite what she may think.

As for Babita, one can only speculate.....lol the writers are likely going to try to justify this as a guilty mother conflict although the scenes aren't reflecting those nuances properly.....only other possibility is that Babita actually thinks that marriage duties only involve sex and she's spooked after seeing the Ashok marriage CD again, so she's trying to work up the courage to offer herself up on that front to HS.....she's treating it like a chore she's not ready for and tangling up the whole thing....the way she was talking about it in the "I need time" scene did seem to reflect that she's approaching it like a project in her head that she still needs to prepare for mentally....rather than letting things flow organically.

It's still funny that she agreed or rather initiated the idea of the marriage to begin with without taking this future state into account....but if indeed she was looking at it as a duty she would fulfill when the time came and now that the time is here, she isn't ready for it, then someone needs to clue HS in on her state of mind.....he is also happily playing along with her seva mode without seeming to realize her real issues.

I'd said this in the build up to the wedding in one of my threads as well.....Babita didn't seem to have a clue that transition is coming....she was treating the transition to wife as an easy thing and claiming that nothing would change.....HS was the one talking about how the equation would evolve beyond a dost after marriage....but Babita, in her typical obtuse fashion, doesn't seem to have thought through things beyond ceremony and duty.....and so when the actual situation is in front of her, she doesn't know how to handle it and seems to be flustered about how to behave with him.....which is why ab na dosti hai, na wife hai.....beech mein kahin latak rahi hai Babita.

And I also really don't get why HS was expecting a normal marriage.....lol he went in the other direction from Babita....she had no clue transition is coming and he expected almost seamless transition to husband-wife mode....LOL....he actually thought Babita would easily fall into wife mode.....dunno why....despite all he's seen of her hang-ups.

I agree that HS is just going with what Babita is saying so as not to upset the apple cart but more and more Babita's way of parenting will conflict with his and if he keeps quiet on the discipline font it's going to make him feel suffocated. We've seen many examples in the past where he took a stricter approach and she let him because she trusted him. Now her words have made him feel she isn't totally confident in his ability to be a father and Minnie's supposed rejection of him makes him feel he isn't worthy or qualified to be her father either. Tough spot to be in. Babita should have laid this condition before marriage and discussed it with Minnie, who by the way hasn't said yay or nay to getting a new father through this marriage. As usual, Babita is deciding for her, which is going to hurt everyone in future.

What Babita thinks, only she knows, but I hope being honest will encourage her to talk to him about physical intimacy. I don't know why she didn't tell him after the proposal that she needed some time before actually marrying him instead of rushing things.

I don't think he expected her to be in full wife mode in the traditional sense but the least he expected was to continue their camaraderie and open communication, not be ditched without much of a word on the wedding night after being given an ultimatum on fatherly duties, and definitely not be lied to in order not to share the same bed. Even if she wanted to spend time with Minnie, there were far better ways to do it. She even cut HS off as he tried to make small talk. I think he suspected her real concern just by the way he left, which is why they showed him take a look at himself in the mirror, put his mother's sindoor box back inside, and then probably close the room up again. Interesting that he chose not to sleep there himself. I suspect he wants to enter it together with Babita when she's ready but going by the precap, she might end up sleeping on the divan upstairs.

Both Minnie and she are still in the Babes ki shaadi mindset instead of Hanita ki shaadi, where HS is a key party who seems to have been forgotten.

Originally posted by: inlieu

I don't know what HS got out of this marriage, na beti mili na biwi.

I understand he's in it for the long haul and can wait his entire life for both, but I still feel bad for him.

I have a feeling he will stop having expectations from either of them, and I don't want that to happen. At least where Minnie is concerned, I want him to make the first and take her on a bike ride to talk to her 1 on 1.

I think he's already stopped having expectations from Mini....and that's really sad to see....he's not even exerting Hanuman Uncle wala haq on her anymore....

As for Babita....it's easy for HS to say "Take all the time you need" ...harder to apply.....it's quite possible that given the constant neglect and mistreatment, he can start to resent her.....he is not a God after all....and woh resentment can come out in in harsh words to further damage relationships.....whatever route they are all currently on....where they are not being themselves with each other and instead putting on personas to appease each other.....it's just going to make them all drift apart further.

If they can't even be themselves with each other, this is no family. It's just an exercise in appearances.

The writers need to balance the execution of the internal struggles better....some epis are on mark, some off mark.....without consistency, this anyways complicated plotline will only get more jumbled up.

Originally posted by: inlieu

I agree that HS is just going with what Babita is saying so as not to upset the apple cart but more and more Babita's way of parenting will conflict with his and if he keeps quite on the discipline font it's going to make him feel suffocated. We've seen many examples in the past where he took a stricter approach and she let him because she trusted him. Now her words have made him feel she isn't totally confident in his ability to be a father and Minnie's supposed rejection of him makes him feel he isn't worthy or qualified to be her father either. Tough spot to be in. Babita should have laid this condition before marriage and discussed it with Minnie, who by the way hasn't said yay or nay to getting a new father through this marriage. As usual, Babita is deciding for her, which is going to hurt everyone in future.

What Babita thinks, only she knows, but I hope being honest will encourage her to talk to him about physical intimacy. I don't know why she didn't tell him after the proposal that she needed some time before actually marrying him instead of rushing things.

I don't think he expected her to be in full wife mode in the traditional sense but the least he expected was to continue their camaraderie and open communication, not be ditched without much of a word on the wedding night after being given an ultimatum on fatherly duties, and definitely not be lied to in order not to share the same bed. Even if she wanted to spend time with Minnie, there were far better ways to do it. She even cut HS off as he tried to make small talk. I think he suspected her real concern just by the way he left, which is why they showed him take a look at himself in the mirror, put his mother's sindoor box back inside, and then probably close the room up again. Interesting that he chose not to sleep there himself. I suspect he wants to enter it together with Babita when she's ready but going by the precap, she might end up sleeping on the divan upstairs.

Both Minnie and she are still in the Babes ki shaadi mindset instead of Hanita ki shaadi, where HS is a key party who seems to have been forgotten.

See, that scene doesn't jive with him playing along with her "Look I'm giving you honesty by telling you I'll only eat with Mini" line.....I liked the Thursday epi....but it felt quite disconnected from Friday's HB scenes with HS suddenly back to being "normal" with Babita and happy enough with chai pakode, and thinking gud jaisi honesty hogi is rishte mein despite how she exited the room last night 😕😆

And yes, any reasonable person would say that Babita should have laid her conditions down before shaadi and talked through them.....but HS has totally crumpled inwards in the face of her demands post shaadi now....he's the one talking about jeevan bhar ka rishta while she offers to break the shaadi off every other day.....lol so then aise toh lagega hi that HS is in some dreamland of his where he's not seeing the actual issues with Babita on ground.

Somebody needs to point out to them that they have a serious communication gap about why they both entered this marriage.....his expectations diverge from hers......and on top of that, he's not expressing his actual emotions so as to "keep peace"....but it will only make the core issues fester.

I've given up expecting the writers to address the point that making this Babita ki shaadi ended up excluding HS from the equation.....they haven't followed up on this point after the CD scene....woh toh humein hi dikh raha hai.....lol story mein bhi no one is pointing out how HS was neglected by mother-daughter in building their own world....even now each time Babita says she will only eat with Mini, she is excluding HS from the family picture....but no one points that out.

Instead, the writers are building up Mini's issues on the side since she is getting needlessly neglected in all this thanks to HS and Babita both being in their own heads. Ab toh bas wait hi kar sakte hain to see when breakdown happens.....unlike depression track which was well paced, yahaan toh drag hi hoga lagta hai.

Originally posted by: AreYaar

I think he's already stopped having expectations from Mini....and that's really sad to see....he's not even exerting Hanuman Uncle wala haq on her anymore....

As for Babita....it's easy for HS to say "Take all the time you need" ...harder to apply.....it's quite possible that given the constant neglect and mistreatment, he can start to resent her.....he is not a God after all....and woh resentment can come out in in harsh words to further damage relationships.....whatever route they are all currently on....where they are not being themselves with each other and instead putting on personas to appease each other.....it's just going to make them all drift apart further.

If they can't even be themselves with each other, this is no family. It's just an exercise in appearances.

The writers need to balance the execution of the internal struggles better....some epis are on mark, some off mark.....without consistency, this anyways complicated plotline will only get more jumbled up.

They've opened up too many threads. I think they need to park some and deal with only a couple at a time, but do it well.

Yes, HS may resent Babita, but what would be worse is if in the bid to control his own desires and feelings out of respect for Babita's need for time, he will become distant and eventually the kind of husband Babita doesn't want - one who doesn't seem to have time for her. I won't be surprised if he spends long hours at work. What does he come home to? Free yummy food? He was doing better as a tenant in that case.

As for the situation with Minnie, it's really very sad. The one time he expected something as a father, to have it dashed this way, through no fault of hers or his, is just painful. I am now thinking that it might be better if they take time to resolve it because then both HS and Minnie can really really understand each other on the micro level and figure out what they want from each other. The thing is, even if HS feels that his daughter doesn't want him, he cannot stop his natural instincts when it comes to paternal affection or protection. He cannot stop being a father and stay away, it's bound to come out in some everyday manner too, whether in the form of love or discipline. I also think her lying about her whereabouts or coming home late at night will tick him off and he might scold her or something. In which case, she won't even answer back but just seem all resigned. Can't he see her body language?

She is bound to get in trouble sooner or later and I don't see Babita being able to handle that by herself. HS will be needed. I would rather things didn't get to that state and that they could at least start talking. What's worse is that HS' inner thoughts about Minnie have not been shown at all since his teary-eyed talk before the wedding. At least we know that Minnie feels she lost his trust but hasn't been able to make the connection. I still want to know why he felt Minnie would hurt him and understand all that is going on in his mind right now, especially when he was looking at Minnie the morning after the wedding. I wonder if this is deliberate suspense by the writers.

The whole concept of haq is a bit of a mess in this family. They finally have it officially on each other, but the emotions are all in knots.