A Rant because I miss the old PS

Yesterday's episode 101 was the only episode in the last couple weeks that made me feel like I'm watching Pandya Store, and it would've been absolutely perfect if not for the knowledge of what Dhara had done. I would've sympathised with her otherwise - that song sequence with ShiSh sending sorry notes had me in tears. Alas, we're back to the trp race again today.

For Raavi's sake, I hope Maami pushes Dhara down the stairs. Starplus at it again, like we didn't have a gazillion regressive goody two-shoes motherly characters before. I can't correlate the Dhara from episode 1 with this saas-er saas than the actual saas.

Also, stop dumbing down the brothers. They're attached to their Bhabhi but they were not these adult babies when the leap happened. It's starting to get cringey.

I can see signs of the starplus syndrome of slowly pealing away male characters' brains already. I hope we'll get back to the practical and resourceful individuals we were introduced to once the show goes back to shooting on set.

And give Dev an iota of maturity, like really, jalebi and phaphda?! Shiva's boyishness makes sense because he wasn't mentally prepared for marriage and was forced into this. I can give Shiva a free pass (for now) considering it's not even a full week since the wedding. Why did Dev agree to get hitched if he couldn't handle all the changes and responsibility that came with it? Oh right, cz he has not one decisive responsible bone in his body.

I'm starting to genuinely lose interest. I used to wake up with a relaxed mind, looking forward to my daily dose of serotonin. Nowadays I wake up apprehensive about how bad the episode might make me feel. I signed up for a feel-good show, and I just might leave until it gets back to being that. I hate to say it, but PS is starting to get toxic.

I hope SP launches a couple of new shows, PS trp falls and it loses it's 7.30 slot so that we can get the quality content back.

Y'all better NOT mess with Shiva and Raavi, writers. That'll definitely be the last straw for me.

Ps. These are just my opinions and you might not agree or have the same reactions to the show's writing. I'm just ranting

I am copy-pasting as this post is a gem.

The Curious Case of Badly Raised Men and The two outsiders.

I am not going to go too much into detail about anything else but primarily the stealthiness of the food eating scene while the outsiders Raavi and Rishita stand looking at their respective husbands hogging the food.

This scene was supposed to be funny and cute, but I found it deeply problematic. How?

1. These are men who took vows at the wedding altar. One of the seven vows in marriage is that ‘The man shall provide for the women's food, safety and clothing.’

So, while these men were gobbling foods, where was their exact concern about the respective women in their lives? Apparently, Raavi didn't want to cook, that means she must be hungry too. Why didn't the thought of Raavi being hungry too cross Shiva even for humanity sake. He does take care of her crying, not hurting her etc. Where is the concern now?

2. Gautam didn't even ask once while their brothers ate that whether the women have eaten or not?

People might call this familial bond, but I find it problematic. Marriage is not a transactional bond, but it changes people. Where is the inclusivity of the women in their life?

The men haven't been around women apart from Dhara or Suman, majorly Dhara. Their lives have revolved around her, and that's deeply problematic. They are badly raised not only by Dhara but Gautam too. We all blame Dhara, but Gautam has to take equal responsibility for such overindulgence in a family that these men don't know what an outsider may perhaps mean to them.

Their benchmark of an ideal woman is Dhara, and they want nothing more than her. Apart from physical intimacy, this one woman is a provider and the enabler of all forms of their emotional, social, and comfort needs.

Is this okay?

No, it's profoundly problematic.

How could it have been more different?

Every child has mild oedipal synergies where the mother becomes the object of extreme attachment. As kids grow, they slowly figure out the world and branch out. Mothers who raise their kids adequately, they do the following things:

1. Cutting down on emotional dependency by coaxing them to make friends and letting the male parent assume a friendship deeper than hers.

2. Also, cutting down on the physical dependency by letting them do their chores, stop being the go-to person for every food requirements.

3. Also, teaching them respect for other women who will ultimately enter their lives.

Households that flourish are based on women stepping back from their responsibilities and letting other relationships grow better. In most families where mothers don't step back, the new woman is frustrated; men don't grow up ever, and the women in their lives lead a half-fulfilled life.

Now imagine this scenario where a woman compares her husband constantly with a male parental figure or brother in her life? Won't it be not very pleasant for a man always to try and match up to the standards of a man unrelated to his personality?

A woman has run a household a certain way, let others also breathe and start a world of their own. It's like telling two people that you will have to comply with a new life with you not being the centre of the universe of your husbands.

It's very unfair for these new ones. The women are confined to the needs of the bedroom, and for everything else, you have Dhara. It's bizarre as hell!

I will share this one incident from a family I knew. The FIL told the new bahu that she needs to learn from her MILfor running the family and sacrifice. I still remember the statement of the MIL. ‘I have run my family and lived with my husband in my way. Let her run her family and live with her husband her way now.’

That's what people should do.

Frankly, it looks like these men have no space for women in their lives, including Dev, who seems to have a love marriage. It seems like he wasn't ready for this woman to enter their lives at all.

They are all living in a happy bubble, and the new ones have disrupted it. It's insanely problematic.

I can understand Shiva and his aloofness towards the inclusion of Raavi in his life. He did try once but got poorly rejected. It's okay for him not to be comfortable for a while, but what about Dev?

It will take a long while for Shiva to realise that he needs someone else apart from Dhara. Every man does or else marriage or opposite gender companionship wouldn't even exist.

Agreed 💯

I wish the show went back to its old time slot...

This TRP centered Storyline is giving me headache.

Someone had mentioned that none of the characters make sense at the moment.

I was so happy when I started to watch the show...

I hope CVs get back on track

Originally posted by: Transference

I am copy-pasting as this post is a gem.

The Curious Case of Badly Raised Men and The two outsiders.

I am not going to go too much into detail about anything else but primarily the stealthiness of the food eating scene while the outsiders Raavi and Rishita stand looking at their respective husbands hogging the food.

This scene was supposed to be funny and cute, but I found it deeply problematic. How?

1. These are men who took vows at the wedding altar. One of the seven vows in marriage is that ‘The man shall provide for the women's food, safety and clothing.’

So, while these men were gobbling foods, where was their exact concern about the respective women in their lives? Apparently, Raavi didn't want to cook, that means she must be hungry too. Why didn't the thought of Raavi being hungry too cross Shiva even for humanity sake. He does take care of her crying, not hurting her etc. Where is the concern now?

2. Gautam didn't even ask once while their brothers ate that whether the women have eaten or not?

People might call this familial bond, but I find it problematic. Marriage is not a transactional bond, but it changes people. Where is the inclusivity of the women in their life?

The men haven't been around women apart from Dhara or Suman, majorly Dhara. Their lives have revolved around her, and that's deeply problematic. They are badly raised not only by Dhara but Gautam too. We all blame Dhara, but Gautam has to take equal responsibility for such overindulgence in a family that these men don't know what an outsider may perhaps mean to them.

Their benchmark of an ideal woman is Dhara, and they want nothing more than her. Apart from physical intimacy, this one woman is a provider and the enabler of all forms of their emotional, social, and comfort needs.

Is this okay?

No, it's profoundly problematic.

How could it have been more different?

Every child has mild oedipal synergies where the mother becomes the object of extreme attachment. As kids grow, they slowly figure out the world and branch out. Mothers who raise their kids adequately, they do the following things:

1. Cutting down on emotional dependency by coaxing them to make friends and letting the male parent assume a friendship deeper than hers.

2. Also, cutting down on the physical dependency by letting them do their chores, stop being the go-to person for every food requirements.

3. Also, teaching them respect for other women who will ultimately enter their lives.

Households that flourish are based on women stepping back from their responsibilities and letting other relationships grow better. In most families where mothers don't step back, the new woman is frustrated; men don't grow up ever, and the women in their lives lead a half-fulfilled life.

Now imagine this scenario where a woman compares her husband constantly with a male parental figure or brother in her life? Won't it be not very pleasant for a man always to try and match up to the standards of a man unrelated to his personality?

A woman has run a household a certain way, let others also breathe and start a world of their own. It's like telling two people that you will have to comply with a new life with you not being the centre of the universe of your husbands.

It's very unfair for these new ones. The women are confined to the needs of the bedroom, and for everything else, you have Dhara. It's bizarre as hell!

I will share this one incident from a family I knew. The FIL told the new bahu that she needs to learn from her MILfor running the family and sacrifice. I still remember the statement of the MIL. ‘I have run my family and lived with my husband in my way. Let her run her family and live with her husband her way now.’

That's what people should do.

Frankly, it looks like these men have no space for women in their lives, including Dev, who seems to have a love marriage. It seems like he wasn't ready for this woman to enter their lives at all.

They are all living in a happy bubble, and the new ones have disrupted it. It's insanely problematic.

I can understand Shiva and his aloofness towards the inclusion of Raavi in his life. He did try once but got poorly rejected. It's okay for him not to be comfortable for a while, but what about Dev?

It will take a long while for Shiva to realise that he needs someone else apart from Dhara. Every man does or else marriage or opposite gender companionship wouldn't even exist.

Agreed! A scene or two here and there would be cute but now it just makes me feel uncomfortable watching these type of scenes all the time. They look like children with side pieces. I wouldn't mind that scene as much if Dev had atleast asked Rishita if she wanted food or spoken to her politely, acknowledging her efforts. Shiva and Raavi are understandable considering their current equation, and the fact that they'd just argued about not getting each other food a while ago. But even with that, I couldn't stomach that hug.

These scenes used to be endearing earlier, but now it just gives me secondhand embarrassment and that says a lot about the changes in writing. I couldn't help but be suprised at how put off I was seeing the brothers cling to her today when I was touched by Shiva hugging her in the GodhBharai aftermath.

There are subtler ways to show the brothers struggling to find a balance with these new relationships, and trying to detach from the metaphorical umbilical cord. These women don't deserve to be sidelined. Rishita, as insensitive and rude as she is to the family members, didn't ditch her sorted life to get served this circus of a marriage.

Originally posted by: Foxii

Agreed 💯

I wish the show went back to its old time slot...

This TRP centered Storyline is giving me headache.

Someone had mentioned that none of the characters make sense at the moment.

I was so happy when I started to watch the show...

I hope CVs get back on track

Indeed the trp is turning out to be a bad luck charm for viewers who came for the sprightly vibe. I really hope they do, atleast it looks like they're fixing the horrible pacing.

Originally posted by: Felicie

Yesterday's episode 101 was the only episode in the last couple weeks that made me feel like I'm watching Pandya Store, and it would've been absolutely perfect if not for the knowledge of what Dhara had done. I would've sympathised with her otherwise - that song sequence with ShiSh sending sorry notes had me in tears. Alas, we're back to the trp race again today.

For Raavi's sake, I hope Maami pushes Dhara down the stairs. Starplus at it again, like we didn't have a gazillion regressive goody two-shoes motherly characters before. I can't correlate the Dhara from episode 1 with this saas-er saas than the actual saas.

Also, stop dumbing down the brothers. They're attached to their Bhabhi but they were not these adult babies when the leap happened. It's starting to get cringey.

I can see signs of the starplus syndrome of slowing pealing away male characters' brains already. I hope we'll get back to the practical and resourceful individuals we were introduced to once the show goes back to shooting on set.

And give Dev an iota of maturity, like really, jalebi and phaphda?! Shiva's boyishness makes sense because he wasn't mentally prepared for marriage and was forced into this. I can give Shiva a free pass (for now) considering it's not even a full week since the wedding. Why did Dev agree to get hitched if he couldn't handle all the changes and responsibility that came with it? Oh right, cz he has not one decisive responsible bone in his body.

I'm starting to genuinely lose interest. I used to wake up with a relaxed mind, looking forward to my daily dose of serotonin. Nowadays I wake up apprehensive about how bad the episode might make me feel. I signed up for a feel-good show, and I just might leave until it gets back to being that. I hate to say it, but PS is starting to get toxic.

I hope SP launches a couple of new shows, PS trp falls and it loses it's 7.30 slot so that we can get the quality content back.

Y'all better NOT mess with Shiva and Raavi, writers. That'll definitely be the last straw for me.

Ps. These are just my opinions and you might not agree or have the same reactions to the show's writing. I'm just ranting

U spoke my heart out . Genuinely what I have been feeling for days . I used to wake up looking forward to watching the show , now it justs irritates me I skip scenes to shiva raavi if any and they also have started to become cringy . I used to love their organic chemistry but now it's all forced argument and comedy . Shiva doesn't feel like shiva and raavi I was really looking forward to her change post marriage . Even I have stopped watching the show . It was indeed a feel good show now they converted it to dhara drama . I even pinged their dialogue writer on insta but obviously no reply . Thanks for making me falling in love with Shivaa and Raavi but now I am falling out of love . PS makers hate u .

Originally posted by: Felicie

Agreed! A scene or two here and there would be cute but now it just makes me feel uncomfortable watching these type of scenes all the time. They look like children with side pieces. I wouldn't mind that scene as much if Dev had atleast asked Rishita if she wanted food or spoken to her politely, acknowledging her efforts. Shiva and Raavi are understandable considering their current equation, and the fact that they'd just argued about not getting each other food a while ago. But even with that, I couldn't stomach that hug.

These scenes used to be endearing earlier, but now it just gives me secondhand embarrassment and that says a lot about the changes in writing. I couldn't help but be suprised at how put off I was seeing the brothers cling to her today when I was touched by Shiva hugging her in the GodhBharai aftermath.

There are subtler ways to show the brothers struggling to find a balance with these new relationships, and trying to detach from the metaphorical umbilical cord. These women don't deserve to be sidelined. Rishita, as insensitive and rude as she is to the family members, didn't ditch her sorted life to get served this circus of a marriage.

Well said! Also, a word about Dhara and her needs. I want to reiterate that Dhara and her emotional, physical, mental, as social needs are well taken care of by Gautam, and hence you’d not see her turning to the kids in times of emotional stress. She has Gautam as her cocoon of comfort. But, with these men it's not Only different but paradoxical. They do not turn to anyone but Dhara in times of emotional stress.

That's unsatisfying and trauma-inducing for any newlywed couple.

She might be ANGSTY and sad without the kids, but the men are LOST without her. They just DON'T know how to be and what to do. Such behaviour looks endearing when people are kids, not man-children who behave like privileged grown-ups under the custody of their Bhabhi.

Pardon me, but I am allergic to this idea of ‘Grihasti chalana’ being the cause of love amongst people. Shiva and Raavi have enough to deal with in terms of emotions. Threatening them to be whipped in a closed room without rhyme and reason is insane.

Women should fix each other's crowns and not school each other. Had I been in Dhara’s place, I would have told Shiva to give her space and let her be for a few days rather than throwing them in the same room. Maybe ask Gautam to speak to Shiva about how he feels about stepping into Dev’s shoes. It can be deeply therapeutic to listen to a man’s perspective and calm all the raging feelings of being wronged.

Raavi, instead of being schooled, should be encouraged to voice her angst. Let her fight, scream and go through a process of cathartic healing.

It's sad how the writers have made it the most unimaginative show possible. The very essence with which I loved PS is lost somewhere. The hugs seem repetitive and redundant.

I don't think you're the only one. I have been getting pretty dissatisfied with the direction of the show and the messages that the PS CVs have been sending to the audience as of late. In fact, there are days where I just read the posts here for the highlights. GauRa used to be a couple I watched religiously while DevTa was a couple I frequently skipped, but as of late, I have been doing the opposite. I can't stomach GauRa scenes anymore, and Rishita has been making more and more sense to me, especially when she is not with Dev.

But the problems I have with this show aren't just limited to how they are portraying the characters, I also have a huge bone to pick with how they are solving their problems. Pre-marriage, we saw how the whole family worked together to solve an issue. With Dev's issue, we saw what happened when Dhara went to solve it (she was ridiculed by Janardhan) and we saw what happened when Gaumbi, Dev, and Shiva stepped in (Janardhan actually became terrified). We saw the scene where Dev speaks to many of his family members about his feelings for Rishita. Gaumbi telling him to forget her, Shiva telling him to forget her, and Dhara wanting to do everything for her devar's happiness. Then, we have the post-marriage conflict between Shiva and Raavi. Suman and Dhara and Gaumbi took a part in calming Raavi from her anger of being abandoned. Even Dev stepped in to reassure her of Shiva's true heart and intentions.

The fact that they solved things together as a whole unit made it so much more believable. Each character had their own unique quirks and offered something new to the table. Gaumbi is very much a "Let's be peaceful" kind of guy, Dhara is a "I want to maximize happiness" kind of girl, Shiva is a "Let's talk straight and cut the BS" type of guy, and Dev is more of a cautious type. The scene where Gaumbi, Dhara, and Shiva discussed what they would do to get back at Janardhan was just so beautiful. Shiva's impulsivity was perfectly paired with GauRa's need for peace and stability. Their personalities made them stronger as a unit, and that's what I loved so much about PS.

However, this problem was solved with none of the grace we've previously seen. Dhara single handedly took control of the problem. She didn't even let other characters interfere (and it seems like none of them even stepped forward to help), and she continues to go about on her anger, continuously threatening them with physical abuse. I would've much rather liked to see how the new additions would've solved the problem. After all, they are part of the family. Rishita might want them to be punished, but Raavi's solution might be something different.

Also, the relationship between the brothers and their bhabi quickly turned south after today's episode for me. Many have commented before me, but two grown men idolizing and worshiping their bhabi while sidelining their wives is not okay. Yes it's a family show, and there should be respect and love between everyone... but blind respect for someone, regardless of their mistakes is just too much for me. Raavi may be fine with it all because she is used to seeing all of this, but I wish she took some sort of stand yesterday when Dhara threatened to beat them. At this point, I don't even think I can enjoy the bhabi-devar scenes in the future...

If there is one message I would like to dish out to the CVs, family is a unit of multiple people working together to solve problems. They have sacrifices to make, there are gains to achieve, and there are emotions that are spread. Family is not having a single person unilaterally controlling the rest of the members and continuously disrespecting certain members for not falling in line...

I'll probably give this show until July to properly redeem itself... but if it continues to go downhill, I think I'll probably just catch up on the ShiVi highlights.

The story isn’t moving

It’s at a standstill.

Rishita might be a brat but are her questions wrong?

Raavi might be heartbroken but are her assumptions about her husband right?

Dev might be in love but is he understanding and can he balance?

Shiva might be a very good devar and beta but isn’t he too rude?

If they sort out these stuff, The show might become as beautiful as before but if the same Dhara Dhara dhara continues, I don’t think the story can survive. They should have shown something sensible instead of hitting grown up men.

Rishita have witnessed a nuclear family set up where she was brought up to have her own views and be independent in terms of money and thought. She left her own home because she has a good decision making sense. She knew what she wanted and she went after it. Even when she asked about money I felt that was righth. Everyone should have their own money and not look up to some other person for it all the time. We even give pocket money to kids. So why not grown up men and women? I agree she is too rude and always has this self importance about her. I agree she doesn’t want to share Dev with his family. And that’s where lies her fault. She needs to accept his viewpoint too but according to her she have left her world behind so she thinks he will too for her sake. And had Dev been clear in his two year relationship, would she have still married him, then I would have blamed her left and right. But not now. She herself is new in the institute of marriage. She will learn slowly.

Raavi has known Shiva since years. She knows his nature. Does he look like a selfish scaredy cat to her that he will just abandon her after that Saree ka pallu and the creep touch incident? He saved her on the day of wedding and she still thinks he will abandon her there? Okay in the heat of the moment, due to spine chilling fear she might have arrived to that conclusion, but then where is the grown up behaviour of talking it out? They haven’t spoken even once about the kidnapping, about her heartbreak. They have spoken about how Dhara and Shiva did wrong but not about what she feels now or before. Someone as suicidal as her should have spoken and also been spoken to by others instead of asking to just accept this thing. Other than that I feel she is one of the most sorted out character of this show, where she is trying to move on, trying to forgive, trying to be the bigger and better person.

Dev is one of the most indecisive confused soul I have witnessed. He didn’t tell about his feelings and dragged Raavi to mandap. He didn’t talk to his family till the wedding rituals had already started. He didn’t speak to Rishita beforehand about his family and their nature. He didn’t think once before rejecting the girl who he knew was mad about him since childhood. He didn’t even check once on her after her suicide attempt. His main achilles heel is his confusion and indecisiveness. But he is a good person. Very polite. Very loving. Trying to maintain a clear balance between the girl he knows is new to this and his family. Unlike the typical males shown in ITV who are always here or there, this guy’s struggle is evident. He doesn’t lash out towards his wife and That is refreshing.

I read someone wishing for Shiva like son. Well and good. He is a wonderful son. He loves his family. He loves his ma jaisi bhabhimaa and that is a plus point. But till now is he showing to be a good husband? I agree he was thrust into this whole thing. He did it for his bhabhi. And despite that he is trying to move forward. But Raavi’s assumptions and his rudeness can kill even progress. Even yesterday when Raavi was ready to bury their differences due to his pain, he was rude with her when she wasn’t even in any fault. I wish they show some softness for her from his side. But I guess thats how he is supposed to be right now?

All in all. As time progresses, I really hope there is a difference made in everyone of these characters. If it’s just for entertainment it was ok. But people who pick up stuff from these things will really be led to believe that Rudeness with wives is ok, indecisiveness in imp decisions can go unpunished, asking questions (without entitled rudeness) is bad.

But right now due to the conditions they have to shoot in I would give them leeway.

P.s I really hope Dhara stop hiding stuff from suman. She is their mother and has all the right to know about her children, their behavior and their life. You might have brought them up for the last ten years but she birthed them and brought them up for so many years before that. So please don’t try to undermine her rights while establishing your duties.

This show is showing a lot of problematic stuff. And that is not just Dhara's recent behaviour but also the brothers' over-dependence Dhara and completely brushing off of Raavi and Rishita's problems. Newly married women need the support of their husbands to adjust in a new household and this is particularly needed in Raavi and Rishita's case. Rishita had to leave behind everything for the sake of her love and Raavi's entire life turned upside down on her wedding day. That sort of experience needs a lot of support and love to overcome it. But all they had heard is gyaan about adjusting blah blah blah. Dhara with all her experience just blowed off within a few days of tension, then imagine how difficult it would be for the two young women. Instead of handling all these things in a mature way, all we get is Dhara puran, which is really off putting. I wish they will put a stop on glorifying Dhara and focus on the overall equations.