Originally posted by: ValleyOfPeace
Chapter 5
Dhara took Raavi towards Shiva's room upstairs. Raavi had just one small bag which had her son's clothes and other necessities. She placed the bag in the corner of the room and then Dhara showed her to the bathroom which on Rishita's insistence they had made attached for each room upstairs.
Dhara settled on the bed and waited for Raavi to return. Just as she was about to go down to bring Raavi food, Anita arrived upstairs.
"Dhara?" Anita called out to her. Dhara turned towards her and smiled.
"Anita? Itni der kyun laga di lautne mein?" Dhara questioned her as she walked towards the bed with a small suitcase in her hand.
"Raavi ka samaan ikattha karna tha mujhe Dhara. Raavi kahan hai?"Anita said as she placed the suitcase on the bed.
"Woh andar hai." Dhara pointed towards the bathroom. "Ikattha karna tha matlab?" Dhara asked in confusion.
"Wo Raavi apna koi samaan apne sasural se la nahin paayi na. Uske kapde aur gehne to un logon ne le liye the aur Viraj ki chita mein daal diye the." Anita informed her softly. Dhara was shocked.
"Kya?" She murmured.
"Haan. Yeh uski kahaani hai to wo khud tujhe bataye to accha hoga Dhara. Main bas ye dene aayi thi." She said and then opened the suitcase, taking out the topmost dress and then moved towards the bathroom. She knocked. "Raavi? Ye lo tumhare kapde. Change karlo." Raavi opened the door and smiled at Anita softly as she accepted the clothes and then closed the door. Dhara was going through the clothes in the suitcase.
"Anita ye to sab uski shaadi se pehle ke kapde hain na?" Dhara asked.
"Haan Fuyi ne sambhal ke rakhe the. Ab inhen yahan bhej diye." Anita replied and then held her hand gently. "Dhara usse baat karke dekh please. Woh sab bata chuki hai humen par usne apni feelings nahin kholi hai humare aage. Aisa lagta hai jaise aur bahut kuch hai jo woh chupa gayi hai. Uska dil woh kisi ke aage khol nahin paa rahi." Anita told her. "Is tarah to woh kabhi apne past se ubhar hi nahin payegi."
"Main baat karungi usse Anita. Tum fikr mat karo." Dhara told her.
"Uske sasural walon ko uska pata nahin chalna chahiye Dhara. Woh use zabardasti le jayenge." Anita told her.
"Woh yahan safe rahegi." Dhara told her.
Anita smiled and after squeezing her hand gently, she walked down. Dhara felt upset and waited for Raavi to come out. Raavi didn't take much time to freshen up. When she came out, Dhara breathe a sigh of relief to see a familiar looking Raavi, who was still looking different due to the absence of happiness on her face.
Dhara felt guilt swamp her heart. Two years ago if she hadn't rushed to conclusions due to a single alphabet on Dev's phone, then this day wouldn't probably have arrived. Raavi wouldn't have married Dev but she would have married someone better and stayed before their eyes and safe. She felt tears threaten to fall so blinked them away and smiled at Raavi.
"Yahan aa ja Raavi." She said and patted the bed beside her. Raavi occupied the place beside Dhara and rested her back confirtably, feeling the edge of the past two days seeping out of her body. The rush and hurry to reach here had finally subsided. And even though this wasn't her home, yet the safety of it and the people in it made her feel like she had finally returned to where she belonged, her home. She feel relaxed and protected for the first time in the last two years. "Kya tu kabhi mujhe maaf kar payegi Raavi? Meri ek ghalat fehmi ne tujhse teri khushiyan cheen li. In do saalon mein mujhe laga ki tu khush hogi par ab lag raha hai ki shayad mein ghalat thi. Jis Raavi ko main janti hoon wo toot kar chahne wali ladkiyon mein se hai, aur jis tarah apne pati ke baare mein tum neeche baat kar rahi thi aisa laga ki tujhe usse zyada lagaav hai hi nahin."
"Bas beet gaye ye do saal Dhara di. Kaise kab? Mujhe kuch hosh hi nahin raha." Raavi replied. "Darr ne mera sara hosh uda diya tha."
"Darr? Kaisa darr?" Dhara asked fearful of what she might here.
"Bas... darr lagta tha." Raavi said and avoided the topic. Dhara sighed.
"Tu baith idhar. Main khana lati hoon." She said and went out.
Shiva came upstairs after five minutes with Shiv and when he entered the room, he saw Raavi sleeping comfortably in his bed. An inexplicable feeling rushed through him and he stood at the doorstep of his room with Shiv comfortably playing with his bracelet in his arms. His arm rested on the door and his eyes refused to leave her form. She looked like the last two years hadn't even happened. But he knew for certain that they had. The proof was right in his arms. She had endured hell in these two years and she didn't have anyone to support her. From outside however similar she looked to that innocent naive Raavi, from within she had irrevocably changed. Even if she healed, she would still remember those days that she had spent in that place.
His family, however much he loved them, had their faults and this... was one of them. His bhabhi's assumption and his brother's silence over that assumption and then his brother's last minute decision to not marry Raavi, was all the reasons for this chipkali's sufferings. He wished that the things had played differently back then, but if the last two years hadn't happened, then this little guy wouldn't have been here and he was already in love with Shiv. He smiled as Shiv swung the bead on his bracelet softly and hummed as it returned to it's own place. He kissed the top of his head and chuckled when Shiv turned to him and gave him a toothy smile.
"Teri mumma to so rahi hai. To ab hum dono kya karen?" He enquired gently. Shiv hummed.
"Shiva?" Dhara called out as she returned with a tray of food. "Tu yahan kyun khada hai?" She asked and then saw Shiv in his arms and smiled. "Pichle do saalon mein itna khush tujhe kabhi nahin dekha." She softly commented. He looked away. "Chal ab hat ja. Raavi ko kuch khila doon."
"Woh so rahi hai Bhabhi. Aap use mat jagao. Woh theek tarah se so nahin payi bahut raaton se." Shiva said with a far away look in his eyes.
"Ye tujhe kaise pata?" Dhara enquired.
"Maine uski baaten sun li thi." Shiva told her and looked away.
"Woh kuch batane ke liye raazi nahin hai."
"Abhi thaki hui hai. Aap usse baad mein pooch lo." Shiva told her. She nodded and smiled at him.
"Anita keh rahi thi ki bahut kuch hai jo abhi usne bataya nahin hai." Dhara told him. He frowned and nodded. "Main ye tray bed ke side mein rakh deti hoon. Jab uthegi tab khalegi." Dhara said and placed the covered tray on the bedside table. She turned to him again and looked at Shiv. "La Shiva, Shiv ko yahan de de." She said and smiled at the baby. Shiva reluctantly brought the baby to her. Before she could take him back though, Shiv turned around guessing her intentions and held on tightly to Shiva.
"Wo nahin aayega bhabhi." Shiva told her softly as he hugged Shiv to himself. He had seen him cling on to him for the past one hour and he hadn't allowed anyone to take him away from his arms.
"Kitna ajeeb hai na. Jo Shiva kisiko narmi se treat nahin kar sakta tha aaj ek bacche ki ungliyon pe naach raha hai." Dhara chuckled making him smile.
"Ye bas koi bhi baccha nahin hai bhabhi." He told her and she stiffened, watching his face soften as his gaze settled on Shiv. "Ye to mera laddoo hai." Dhara watched him closely.
"Tu yahin rahega na Shiva ya fir tu dukaan ja raha hai?" Dhara enquired.
"Kyun bhabhi?"
"Aaj godh bharayi hai na isliye mein busy rahungi aur Raavi so rahi hai to Shiv akela reh jaayega. Woh waise bhi kisi ke paas reh nahi raha. Main nahin chahti Raavi neeche aaye."
"Kyun?" Shiva asked. "Kya ap use isliye to stop nahin kar rahin kyunki aap bhi society ki baaton ka asar le rahi hain?" Shiva asked hoping that that wasn't the case because if there was someone he believed who fought the society and it's preset notions it was his bhabhi.
"Tu paagal ho gaya hai kya Shiva? Raavi mujhe utni hi pyaari hai jitna ki tum teeno aur main uske liye aisa sochungi?" Dhara was hurt. Shiva held her hand in his.
"I am sorry Bhabhi. Mujhe pata nahin maine yeh aapse kyun poocha." Shiva apologised guiltily. She smiled.
"Kyunki tu Raavi ki chinta karta hai. Main nahin chahti woh neeche aaye kyunki bahut saari baaten banengi aur poochi jayengi aur woh is condition main nahin hai ki sabke sawaalon ka jawaab de ya unki baaten bardaasht kare. Aur waise bhi uska chipe rehna zyada accha hai." Dhara replied.
"Kyun? Kyun chipegi woh bhabhi? Usne kuch ghalat nahin kiya ki woh dar dar ke jiye." Shiva said, upset.
"Main janti hoon par abhi uske liye shaanti ki zaroorat hai to unka uske baare mein pata na chalna behtar hoga." Dhara explained to him. He didn't agree but in front of his bhabhi he kept silent.
"Main yahin hoon. Aap godh bharayi attend kar lo." He told her softly. She patted his cheek and went out of the room. He looked towards Raavi and settled on the other side of the bed with Shiv humming in his arms as he played.
•••••
Raavi felt her heartbeat escalate as she saw the men come towards her and Shiv. Before she could run, they cut of her escape routes and encircled her. She kept pleading to leg her go but they dragged her towards the haveli from where she had escaped. The instances of punishments rushed before her eyes and she began to struggle.
“Chup!” One of them slapped her harshly. She looked up to see her husband. Her eyes widened as he laughed at her cruelly. She began to sob and just as they all crossed the threshold of the haveli, she called out.
“Shiva!”
“Shiva!” Raavi woke up with a start and looked around herself fearfully. A little distance from her Shiv was playing on the bed with a toy she didn’t recognise and Shiva was watching her in surprise. She saw him and scrambled up the bed right towards him and hugged him as she began to cry. “Woh mujhe lekar jayenge. Main kya karoon Shiva? Main wapas nahin jana chahti. Woh mujhe bahut satate hain aur woh mujhse mera Shiv cheen lenge. Main jee nahin paaungi.” She mumbled to him. He had been shocked when she hugged him but when she began to mutter to him about her fears his confusion cleared and rage filled him. He held her to himself and let her cry out. “Do saal main wahan kaise rahi hoon sirf main janti hoon. Viraj to sirf marta tha. Mujhe wahan bhooka rakha jata tha. Raat raat kaam karaya jata tha. Choto choti baaton ke liye punishments alag alag hote the. Main wapas gayi to woh mujhe maar dalenge. Main nahin jaungi wahan.”
Dhara who had come upstairs after the function had ended and the guests had gone stood tooted near the door as she watched and heard Raavi. She wanted to come in but before she could take a step, she found herself in someone’s grip. She turned to see Gautam behind her.
“Ruk ja Dhara!”
“Gaumbi woh ro rahi hai... use zaroorat hai humari.” Dhara whispered.
“Use jiski zaroorat hai woh uske saath hai. Dekh woh kahan par hai.” Gaumbi said as he gestured towards the couple inside. Raavi had unknowingly during her cries climbed up on Shiva’s lap and Shiva hadn’t pushed her away. He had encircled an arm around her waist and the other was on her head as she complained to him. “Tune kaha ki woh tujhe kuch bata nahin rahi hai. Yahan par woh Shiva ko sab kuch bata rahi hai. Tu andar gayi to woh awkward feel karenge aur unki baaten adhoori reh jayengi. Maan na maan Dhara par kuch to in dono ke beech aisa hua hai jisse ye dono ek doosre se itne affected ho jate hain.” Dhara agreed as she stood back and observed.
“Shiva... main yahan se nahin jana chahti.” Raavi told him.
“Tujhe yahan se koi lekar nahin ja sakta. Kisiki itni himmat nahin hai ki woh yahan aakar mere saamne se tum dono ko le jaye. Main aisa kuch nahin hone dunga.” Shiva finally spoke to her. His words were promises to her, his vows. She began to cry as she tightened her hold around him. “Ab agar kisi ko tum tak pahunchna hai use mujhse ho kar guzarna hai aur Shiva Pandya ko paar kar jana itna aasan to nahin hai.” Shiva told her as he plced his chin over the top of her head. Beside them both Shiv continued to play. “Kya kiya hai un logon ne tumhare saath gadedhi? Tu itni darpok to nahin thi.” Shiva tried his mix of seriousness and humour. She lifted her head and looked into his eyes. He flinched when he read the horrors of her past reflecting in her eyes.
“Ek mahina hua tha shaadi ko meri to mujhe gaaon ghoomna tha. Aur mujhe laga ki aise hi chali jati hoon so jab dopahar ko mere saare kaam ho gaye main nikal padi jaise Somnath mein nikla karti thi. Wapas aayi to sab gusse se laal the. Mujhe bahut dar laga. Unhone maara waara to nahin mujhe par do din tak kamre mein bandh kar diya. Khana paani bhi aur bathroom bhi din mein sirf ek baar jane diya. Aisa laga jaise kisine mere par kaat ke mujhe pinjre mein daal diya ho. Maine kitni aawazen di kitni minnatein ki par kisine khola nahin darwaza.” Raavi told him. This time his hold tightened around her. Dhara fell to her knews and began to cry softly as Gaumbi tried to calm her softly. “Zara sa khane mein namak zyada padta to namak khila dete the bahut sara. Zara sa kaam mein deri ho jati to saari raat kaam krwate the. Kuch poocho to itni baaten sunne ko milti ki pet bhar jata aur aatma samman lahu luhan ho jata. Taano ki barsaaten to har din suni jati thi. Teen chaar baar, store room mein band kar diya. Wahan chuhe aur chipkaliya hoti thi. Meri jaan nikal jati thi. Shiva main itna thak gayi ki paanch mahine baad maine apna dupatta liya aur pankhen se bandh diya aur jaise hi gale mein phanda daal kar main kursi par chadi-”
Shiva was becoming restless as he heard her. Outside Dhara and Gautam had stiffened too.
“-to tu mere saamne aa gaya. Us din shaadi ke din jab doctor chala gaya tha aur maine yehi qadam uthane ki koshish ki thi to tune sambhala tha mujhe. Bas us din bhi tu hi mere saamne tha. Mujhe yaqeen nahin ho raha tha ki tu mere saamne hai. Par main ruk gayi.” She told him. “In do saalon mein pehle che meri umeedon ke qatl ke the aur baqi dedh saal maine tere parchaayi ko dekhte hue jiye hain. Agar main zinda hoon to iska bhi shrey sirf teri us parchayi ko jata hai.”
Shiva was dumbfounded. He remembered the fated wedding day clearly.
The doctor checked her and he declared his report and then as he gathered his belongings. Shiva offered to walk him out. Dhara was called away for the wedding of Dev and Rishita. Maami and Anita went to gave Dev and his family a piece of their mind and Maama walked out to stop them. Raavi was all alone and she had hd enough. All her memories of Dev and the half wedding crowded her mind and she stood up in her grief. She took her wedding dupatta and pushed it over the fan. Making a noose out of it she pushed it around her neck and kicked the chair. Just as she fell herself airborne, someone held her legs and freed her head from the noose, carrying her to bed as she struggled.
“Paagal ho gayi tu Maami ki behen ki beti? Kya kar rahi thi tu?”
“Tu chod mujhe. Main zinda nahin rehna chahti. Mujhe mar jana chahiye.” She was struggling in his hold as he held on to her tightly, beating with her hits.
“Kisi ke liye apni jaan de dena kya ek accha tareeqa hota hai?” Shiva asked her as he softened. “Kya kisi aur ne kabhi tujhse pyaar nahin kiya? To tu agar Dev ke liye jaan dena chahti hai to unke liye jee bhi sakti hai jo tujhe chahte hain. Apne liye jeena selfishness hai to apne dard mein mar jana bhi selfishness hi hai. Apno ke saath jeena seekho Chipkali. Kisi ek ke liye marna nahin. Zindagi ki musibaton se haar kar ye qadam uthane se behtar hai khud uthkar har cheez ka saamna karna aur naye sire se shuruaat karna. Kyunki dard mein jaan dena to ek pal mein ho jata hai. Dard ke saath jeena bahut kam logon ko ata hai. Aur wahi sahi maainon mein winners hote hain.” Shiva had spoken to her as she cried badly in his arms. Her struggles had stopped as she had gotten exhausted and started listening to his words. He had never been as soft as this before. At least not with her. And for the first time she had realised she didn’t know him at all. His voice had somehow pulled her back from the edge of madness that she was standing on and thrusted her back in her life. As the urge to end it all left her, she weakly stayed in his arms and allowed the hope for a new start to enter her. And he had sat there with her in his lap and spoken about anything and everything needed to distract her and pull her back. While the world had raged on outside and her family and his family had fought a war, inside that room, they both had stayed locked with each other and bonded over her grief and the step she was about to take. This had been their own moment. A private moment. And they had been the only witnesses to it.
Raavi had stored this moment away in her mind. It gave her courage, it gave her strength to face the unknown. After that moment, every step that she had taken, his words had supported her and guided her. His wisdom had been her stick on whose support she had driven away the darkness of the next two years. And in the desert of her life where there had been slaps and punishments, his thoughts had been her only oasis. Each time she had been punished, her tortured mind had conjured him out of the blue and he had stayed with her, holding her hand, urging her on. After that attempt to her suicide, he had been her constant companion on her mind. Throughout her dark hungry nights in the store room, or when she had been working overnight due to some or the other reason or even when Viraj had slapped her and injured her pride, he had been there. His thoughts had been there. And two years later she had seen him in flesh once more.
He had been her ray of sunshine, a hope of new tomorrow and the thread that bond her to life even without even being present. According to her she owed him her existence. If she was sane it was due to him, he had been her sanity in those days. According to him, the world could burn till she was safe. And their feelings hadn’t changed overnight. No... it was gradual and very slow. Sleepless nights and restless days had brought them to this point, where sharing her sorrows with him seemed too natural for her and allowing her to hold on to him was the only way for him to make sure he didn’t storm off to search for her culprits and kill them all.
When he had left her that day on the wedding, his eyes had been soft and concerned for her and in that instant her dislike for him had been overwritten by her dislike for Dev, and Shiva had read it in her eyes and mistaken it for his own self. That look had guilt struck him for always treating her with such harshness.
In these two years, she had left Dev behind and tried to move on with Viraj and when Viraj had proved to be a scumbag, she had felt her world still, till he had come to her rescue. Whether he had been there or not, she had traversed these months in his companionship, in his thoughts, in his words. She had lived with his memories. And in doing that, she had bound herself to him. She didn’t want to term it as love because she had made that mistake before, but she counted him as hers. And she hd become irrevocably his. And this, unlike her childish love for Dev had traversed through Shiva’s absence and had latched on to his words, to his mind. She had fallen not for his charms for for the way he had shone in the disaster of her wedding to Dev and marriage to Viraj. He had become her constant. And every day that she had lived in that dark place, the depth of her feelings for him had increased till it had crossed over to the limits of madness. But she hadn’t termed it as anything in fear that history would repeat itself, until the moment she had set foot before this Pandya house and saw it decorated mistaking it for Shiva’s wedding and then she had felt pins and needles on her soul. She had recognised what it was but telling about all this to him might scare him away, so she fell silent and just revealed to him about certain stuff while he listened. And unknown to her he was wise enough to read between the lines. Also good for her that he reciprocated.
Dhara and Gaumbi were emotional outside the room as Dhara continued to cry in guilt and anger for Raavi.
Shiv got tired of playing with the toy and turned towards them both. He crawled towards them and settled on Raavi’s lap as she placed her head on Shiva’s chest. Shiva smiled as he encaged them both in his arms and kissed Shiv’s head. This belonged to him and he would be damned before anyone touched them again. He vowed.
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See you soon, ila liqaa’.
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
Mannat Har Khushi Paane Ki
