Mere Ban Jao (HUM) Zahid Ahmad , Azfar Rehman , Kinza Hashmi - Page 23

Originally posted by: columbia

Mango so good to see you here. I am also really liking this show, it’s giving me much needed meat for my brain… I am a fan of Zahid, so I knew I would check out his shows, I usually wait a while.

I am quite intrigued on how they take this. If it’s going to be typical and the perpetrator just gets away, I will be slightly disappointed. The story you mentioned is scary. Innocent and naive girls ho ya boys must be treasured by parents, even more reason for mothers to get on with the program to teach girls how to be in control seat.

yea, I checked it out randomly for zahid as well. so am glad it is good. I hated tere bin and dropped it. I am really glad to see a drama where they are showing the importance of saying no to a situation where you are uncomfortable. that is an important lesson for girls to learn. I hate that many serials make assertive girls look like brats. so is it is better to be fleeced, abused and cry buckets of tears?? 🙄🙄

Originally posted by: mango.falooda

the problem is fardeen is a cousin and the two families are close. that is part of why no one has been seeing any of his behaviour as even remotely problematic. that contributes a big deal to why the mother is blind to uzimi at that moment. it also doesn't help that in prior moments where uzimi had issues with fardeen, she always came across as bit nervous.

so I think the mom has enough instinct to notice that uzimi is quieter and seems more worried and she even asks what is in uzimi's heart twice. however, uzimi brushes it off both times. so uzimi herself is giving lots of mixed signals which makes it look like she is just nervous bride scared of relocation.

fair enough. But somehow this hasn’t convinced me at all. In fact I have watched the scenes between the mom and her quite a few times. It was very upsetting for me personally because I feel very strongly about single moms, it’s my pet peeve when characterization of such women are done carelessly. While I do agree that single moms among joint families can be very hands off, in fact, are not even sometimes given proper agency on their own children. There will be turning points where their maternal instincts take over and they get very protective. I do hope they remedy this later or even the girl’s character questions her mother.

infact I just loved the scene where kinza is frustrated and tells her mom…why is it always my fault?? It’s brilliantly done. Because this is the frustration every girl no matter where she falls as a part of patriarchy feels at some point in her life. I want to see more of that

Originally posted by: mango.falooda

yea, I checked it out randomly for zahid as well. so am glad it is good. I hated tere bin and dropped it. I am really glad to see a drama where they are showing the importance of saying no to a situation where you are uncomfortable. that is an important lesson for girls to learn. I hate that many serials make assertive girls look like brats. so is it is better to be fleeced, abused and cry buckets of tears?? 🙄🙄

Tbh assertive women are not written well in shows at all. People don’t know how to handle them even in real life. They oscillate from superwomen to brats to vamps. There is no in between. In fact so much that many times assertive women themselves go through their own frustrated identity crisis, expections from family and society pulls them in all directions.

For this, men need to get more educated than women.

oh Tere Bin is a no brainer show yaar, not to be taken seriously at all.

Originally posted by: columbia

fair enough. But somehow this hasn’t convinced me at all. In fact I have watched the scenes between the mom and her quite a few times. It was very upsetting for me personally because I feel very strongly about single moms, it’s my pet peeve when characterization of such women are done carelessly. While I do agree that single moms among joint families can be very hands off, in fact, are not even sometimes given proper agency on their own children. There will be turning points where their maternal instincts take over and they get very protective. I do hope they remedy this later or even the girl’s character questions her mother.

infact I just loved the scene where kinza is frustrated and tells her mom…why is it always my fault?? It’s brilliantly done. Because this is the frustration every girl no matter where she falls as a part of patriarchy feels at some point in her life. I want to see more of that

I understand where you are coming from but not every family is the same. so you can be close and still have problems communicating and have tons of conflict (I did 2 whole threads on the Gfamily in katha ankahee on that theme. 😆)

also, it is about knowing how to verbalize the problem and that is not easy to do even with normal problems. sometimes, we don't know how to describe what is wrong and what happened. in this case, uzimi's problem with fardeen was too embarassing for her to spill out but unless you say it, how will the mom know? she is not a mind reader.

especially when the mom knows fardeen and he asked her permission to go for lunch. she has no way of imaging that the guy booked a hotel room and uzimi turned him down.

this lawyer lady I once met was sharing this story of how the mom could not understand why the daughter kept wanting a divorce. when they would ask her what happened, the daughter wouldn't say. she finally told the lawyer lady what happened and it turned out to be a case of s** violence and even the lawyer lady shook her head. I guess it was all sorts of unimaginable considering how many cases she had seen.

but then the lawyer lady had to break it in broad overview terms to the girl's parents and they were horrified and appalled. it was really shocking to them because they knew the guy and his family for years before the rishta. so sometimes, a wolf in sheep's clothing is very hard to recognize. the other aspect is how uncomfortable certain topics are to discuss in conservative families. according to the lawyer lady, the parents and the girl never had the chat about what happened in the marriage but simply proceeded with the divorce and they offered her 100% support in rebuilding her life.

so uzimi not being able to talk to her mom and her mom not seeing a problem occurs more often than we know.

Originally posted by: columbia

Tbh assertive women are not written well in shows at all. People don’t know how to handle them even in real life. They oscillate from superwomen to brats to vamps. There is no in between. In fact so much that many times assertive women themselves go through their own frustrated identity crisis, expections from family and society pulls them in all directions.

For this, men need to get more educated than women.

oh Tere Bin is a no brainer show yaar, not to be taken seriously at all.

what annoys me is that these dramas don't differentiate assertiveness and being combative. these are two separate traits. having self-respect for one self and knowing your own worth and standing up for yourself is something we all woman can regardless of our personality traits. whereas picking fights with people around you and being rude is definitely not a nice thing but that isn't the same thing as being self-confident. so yea, many of these shows don't seem to know what is the difference between the two and all these women lose themselves like a baloon as soon as they meet the handsome ML. 🤦‍♀️

as zaki fantastically says in this drama, love does not mean you get scared and are afraid of being who you are and sharing your thoughts. love does not mean you have to apologize for everything and give in all the time.

Originally posted by: mala06

Nice show. It deserves more views and ratings. So finally Azmiya would reveal about the talaq. But then most likely Fardeen will threaten her with the videos

if I go by the youtube comments on the videos, there is definitely lot more discussion compared to other serials (where there is hardly any) on the major themes of the drama and whether this talaq is real or not, her making the videos etc. so definitely buzz-ish among people who are watching because there is a lot to dissect. hopefully that buzz will build a momentum to attract more viewers.

Originally posted by: mango.falooda

if I go by the youtube comments on the videos, there is definitely lot more discussion compared to other serials (where there is hardly any) on the major themes of the drama and whether this talaq is real or not, her making the videos etc. so definitely buzz-ish among people who are watching because there is a lot to dissect. hopefully that buzz will build a momentum to attract more viewers.

Hopefully, but I have been watching this show since the first episode, and I don't see significant growth in the youtube views. But it did better rating-wise than hook this week.

I must say very powerful episode. Both Kinza and Azfu were great in their respective roles. Even side characters did a perfect job. Btwn Faizala Qazi is so beautiful even now ❤️. I just found out that her husband in this show is her actual husband.

I never even got bored in the whole episode. Also, no offense, but Zahid is not suitable with Kinza. He is an outstanding actor, but He looks old in front of her.

He is suitable for a more mature role or more mature girl would have been suitable. But, then this story is about naive girl for which kinza is more suitable.

Just saw the promo. I just hope now again Azmi doesn't again go back on her word and regrets. Doesn't make sense after revealing everything.

Originally posted by: mala06

I must say very powerful episode. Both Kinza and Azfu were great in their respective roles. Even side characters did a perfect job. Btwn Faizala Qazi is so beautiful even now ❤️. I just found out that her husband in this show is her actual husband.

I never even got bored in the whole episode. Also, no offense, but Zahid is not suitable with Kinza. He is an outstanding actor, but He looks old in front of her.

He is suitable for a more mature role or more mature girl would have been suitable. But, then this story is about naive girl for which kinza is more suitable.

Just saw the promo. I just hope now again Azmi doesn't again go back on her word and regrets. Doesn't make sense after revealing everything.

As for the drama, not just the subject is good, the acting and execution are also so good so far. I was not expecting Uzmi this courageous as she was in today's episode. I'm impressed by the way she never let Fardeen make any false story. The promo will most probably kill this pleasant surprise for me but I don't wanna think about that right now. The way all characters responded after the big reveal is confusing as in one scene the person reacts exactly how we want her/him to react but in the next scene he/she change his/her stance or start showing confusion and we get confused too. For instance, mother-in-law was was so supportive and righteous after knowing the news but after coming back from Uzmi's home she start saying perhaps she did a mistake.

What shocked me more than anything is Uzmi's mother. Uzmi was praising her bhabi that she told me the importance of consent in a husband-wife's relationship. First, the bhabi was like Uzmi isn't praising her but putting blame on her. And then, the way mother reacted was the biggest shock for me. She reacted as if bhabhi is the real culprit and she has no problem with if Uzmi had made any sexual relation with Fardeen before rukhsati for the sake of keeping their rishta intact.

I’m loving the execution here and how they are handling this delicate subject...

Although I think Zahid is wasted in this role... maybe in next few episodes he will have more impact