*From To Sathish* - Thread 3 - Page 92

Gathering of love

just a piece of rock,black carbon
polished,sweated and its shines like the sun
the carbon remains the same for it has no name
black,red,white it feels the same
it is we who take it,covet it and give it names and blame

we take it love,friends and family
we give it the power of our desire and needs
soon the power waxes and wanes and turns foe

all that you see,all that you think you see
are just incoming signals,perceptions through your five
but in the end all that you need,all that you love
and all that you hate flows from one spot,your mind,your soul,you

we take,we morph,we twist,we do what we need to do
and a piece of ancient carbon becomes a diamond
a piece of flesh becomes desirable and irresistible

the soul is bored,the need the same but the object now lame and old
the love has flickered and soon turns cold
and the arms step away and soon they are a bridge no more
for the chasm is too wide and too deep

soon you lose sight and vanish even out of earshot
the distance,the separation filled with darkness and cold
and the shiny diamond once again is transformed into a lump of rock

cold,cold heart,dark,dark soul
your needs and desires are a bottomless hole
all the love and all the diamonds will not fill it

not now,not ever and not until
you are ashes with ashes and dust with dust
and you are one with the dark,black carbon

Jannal oram-10

Everything is in a constant state of motion.You think you are on solid ground on earth but right now the kutty blue planet of our is spinning on its axis at nearly 1000 miles per hour and rotating around the sun at a mind boggling speed of 66,000 miles per hour (107,000 km/hr).The solar system itself with the mighty sun and all the eight planets is moving around the center of our milky way galaxy at an incredible speed of 828,000 km/h (230 km/s) or 514,000 mph (143 mi/s).And then it gets even quicker and faster for the milky way itself is moving around at a speed of 600 kilometers per second (1.34 million miles per hour).

Trillions of objects moving,spinning around in their orbits and all in constant motion and going somewhere,maybe nowhere or waiting for another object to touch it and change its path and its destination.

Our daily lives are like those objects moving at their own speeds,in their own safe orbits,going about their existence quietly and then bam,you come in contact with another object and your life is changed as is your orbit and path and one is never the same again.

But back to Parry corner as the afternoon is over and the sun disappearing heralds night but gives time with the evening and time for people to scurry back to the safety of their homes.But chennai is not like what madras once was and has changed quite a bit in its timings and nightlife.

For instance,until the nineties,most of chennai would have quietened down by 7 p.m in the evening and even busy roads such as mount road would see very little traffic and absolutely no traffic by 10 p.m.Not anymore for the coming of the computer world,night shifts and call taxis means that now even in the wee hours of the morning,ola,uber and fast track cars zip around depositing their sleepy clients as they have just wrapped up their night shift or do you call it day shift.Well,things have changed and now when it comes to work,money and life there is no day or night and it is a permanent twilight.


Jeeva was logging out of her desktop and hema as was her habit popped only her head in like a small bird and " jeeva ma'am,do you want me to drop you off to the bus stop" and jeeva smiled " thanks hema, but no.This short walk from the stop to the office and back to the bus stop from the office is the only exercise i get and the only time i really get to stretch my legs after sitting on my backside for nearly 8 to 9 hours.carry on ma and i will see you tomorrow."

Niaz bhai,one of the oldies in the company stopped jeeva as she was leaving ehr cabin " Child,you are working too hard and all of us think that you should slow down and look after your health.I know it is none of our business but we can't help worry about you.Please forgive me for intruding into your personal affairs and space and think that it is your father who is talking to you."

Jeeva looked at him and did not forget for a second that Niaz bhai had lost his only son Rafiq who was doing his final year in Mechanical Engg in an accident just a few years back and the loss had nearly broken his heart.But somehow he scraped through and still managed to come to work and carry out his job as diligently as before.

" sir,you are not just like a father but a father to me and no,i will never feel offended by your concern and advice."

Niaz bhai whose full name was Niaz shakir looked at the huge windows of their office and both of them watched as the lights of the setting sun and the lights of the street mingled to make ghostly shadows dance all over their work place and jeeva saw the tears fill his eyes " Jeeva,do what it is you have to do and don't delay for time does not wait for anyone and you never know what is waiting around the corner."

Jeeva gently pressed his arm to comfort him and walked away thinking " what could be waiting around the corner for me for i have seen and faced everything that life has had to throw in my way and i am more than ready for more."

She got out of the elevator and walked ten feet of marble floor and as she neared the exit of K.K.Complex,the tall and stout looked security man Kumaran stood up and saluted her " good night jeevama"and jeeva smartly saluted him with a combination of smile and good night and stepped into Armenian street and immediately was transported to a different world.

" Poovu,poovu,apple,orange," were just a tiny portion of the noises that rose and echoed all over parrys corner as hundreds and maybe even thousands of hawkers began yelling in earnest.Some yelled for their day's work was coming to an end and for a few it was just beginning.

The streets would soon be filled with small carts carrying huge tavas filled with biriyani,idlis,fish curry and other exotic non veg-recipes and start at seven and they would be done by eight and it was not the animals in the gravies that were killed but the sellers also made quiet and quick killing.

At about 50 rs per plate and they sold nearly 500 plates per kai endhi bhavan vandi and that meant an average gross sale of 25,000 and take out 10,000 for expenses,then the fast food ended up with nearly 15,000 in profit and out of which daily mamool to the local cop station would be about 1000 and the local councillor did not bother them with daily harassment and instead took monthly payments of 5 or 10,000 and now do the sum and you will realise that everyone is happy and everyone takes home something.

It was about 100 feet from the exit of her office complex to the busy NSC BOSE ROAD or NETAJI SUBASH CHANDRA BOSE ROAD where she usually boarded her bus and like Niaz bhai had foretold her,something was waiting around the corner and it was not bad news but pleasant news in the form of Raman.

Both stood surprised,delighted,shy and also totally stuck for words and that was soon broken with the universal greeting of " Hi."

Raman was about to say " Hi Jeeva" when a bus breaked with its usual noises of tortured ghosts and banshees screaming as rusted brake drums expanded to bring the huge vehicle to a halt.

People slowly but steadily began to clamber in and inside the bus Chandran quickly ran to the driver " Bro,check out the jodi on the platform" and driver thangarasu peeked out and saw both jeeva and raman standing there,staring at each other and totally oblivious to the whole world for their planets were colliding.

Their orbits were not crashing into each other but rather were now gently running a parallel course with each other.

Chandran took out an hundred rupee note " betu da machaan,surely marriage thaan."

Thangarasu looked at chandran " marriaga irakattum,lova irukattum enakku kavalaille.But i hope they maintain this beautiful friendship forever."

Then he looked at his colleague " Bro,when was the last time our wives looked at us with so much happiness when we go back home,tired after the days work."

Chandran took a moment to answer " difficult,for i hardly see my wifes face for she is always staring at the tv screen and each time i go back home it is always deiva magal or vaani rani in front of her and she only takes a moment as yells " food ready,serve yourself and go to sleep.It reminds me of my mother when it came to dinner time."

Thangarasu looked at him and then began to laugh out loudly " at least be happy that you get to see your favourite heroine Raadhika everyday before going to sleep.All i hear,the moment i step in is "Yenga,etho discountu,thallubadiaan.sunday t.nagar kootitu ponga."

Suddenly chandran stopped two people from sitting in the seat behind the drivers seat and told them that they were reserved for a couple.

One of the two guys tried to argue and chandran calmly " please go sit somewhere else or stand for i dont care.But if you make any more noise then i will ask you te leave.understood."

The two guys meekly nodded and went to the rear of the bus and then both jeeva and raman got into the bus and sat in the front seat and she murmered a thank you to both chandran and thangarasu.

" Right,right" and with the whistle blown chandran moved slowly away and began giving out tickets and collecting cash and the bus left the stop and acclerated towards saidapet.

M: En kanmani un kaadhali ila maankani
unai paarththadum sirikkinrathen
sirikkinrathen
naan sonna jokai kettu naanamo nee
nagaichchuvai mannanillaiyo,

F: en mannavan un kaadhalan enai paarthathum
oraayiram kadhai solgiraan kadhaisolgiraan
ammammaa innum ketka thoondumo nee
rasikkinra kanniyillaiyo,


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NW1TE_qz_Jw

one of my favourite songs

A blind boy sat on the steps of a building with a hat by his feet. He held up a sign which said: "I am blind, please help."

There were only a few coins in the hat. A man was walking by. He took a few coins from his pocket and dropped them into the hat. He then took the sign, turned it around, and wrote some words. He put the sign back so that everyone who walked by would see the new words.

Soon the hat began to fill up. A lot more people were giving money to the blind boy.

That afternoon the man who had changed the sign came to see how things were doing. The boy recognized his voice and asked, "Were you the one who changed my sign this morning?" and continued, "What did you write?'

The man said, "I only wrote the truth. I said what you said but in a different way."

What he had written was: "Today is a beautiful day and I cannot see it."

Do you think the first sign and the second sign were saying the same thing? Of course both signs told people the boy was blind. But the first sign simply said the boy was blind. The second sign told people they were so lucky that they were not blind. Should we be surprised that the second sign was more effective?

Redemption-179

The best thing about dreams is that fleeting moment, when you are between asleep and awake, when you don't know the difference between reality and fantasy, when for just that one moment you feel with your entire soul that the dream is reality, and it really happened. James Arthur Baldwin

Thenmozhi felt his touch and she knew who it was that touched her and tears poured out of her eyes " my love,is it you or am i dreaming again."

Azhagan softly kissed her tears away " dream,reality.does it matter my beautiful thenmozhi.What matters is the moment for it is the only magic one will ever see for life is a dream within a dream.But sleep my queen,sleep now for the time is here for you to become who were meant to be."

Thenmozhi looked at him " I want nothing but to be in your arms and to be there forever and breathe my last in them."

Azhagan sadly " Then,what about all the power that has been given to you.What about all those who look to you for guidance and for a purpose.Your arms were meant to protect and defend and for the sole purpose of rising as a guardian."

Far away from the innermost secrecy of her soul and outside it and in the so called reality Buddha worriedly looked at the old man " i know it is you who put her into a state of unconsciousness ."

" Yes.There are certain processes that can happen only when the brain is in a state of deep relaxation.For only in that stage can we realign her thoughts and prepare for what she has to learn and learn well."

Buddha knew that the old man was hiding something but his defences were on a much higher and more complicated level than that of his and stuck in the body of a tiger,there was only so much Buddha's soul could do but he tried and just as he was searching for something to think and ask,the old and wise man looked at the tiger kindly " you think you are a cat,a tiger walking on fours but think again for you are life and all life has a certain purpose and goal.Nature as you call it here or The Source as we call it elsewhere does not do things randomly but always with a specific purpose in mind and all that matters is the end result."

Buddha in frustration " but what about what that single life wants and what about its desires and wanting things and more? Isn't there some rule that governs what it can do or cannot do or are some lives meant to suffer and die in sorrow.Can't you see how much she misses him and desires to be with him."

The old man remained silent " If only all our wishes came true,then believe me my dear Buddha,this universe would be a far better place than what it is now."

" How long will she be in this state of deep sleep?"

" same as the last time azhagan was prepared before he stepped foot into the sacred place of learning.Fourteen days."

flashback page 12-Posted: 05 May 2015 Chapter 32-The boy who went into the dark

Avini kissed her son's forehead and said " remember, small steps and never forget who you are and trust me when i say that you were meant for greater things."

Azhagan smiled " nothing is greater than being with you and by your side and our village.don't worry for i will tell you more when i get back and maybe even surprise you with something or someone."

Appanar aiyaa watched the boy race like a lion and in the shadows he saw the boys companion and knew that nothing would or could harm him.They walked the old man and the boy and soon to be an young man.

The sun travelled along its path casting light as the two of them entered the bowels of the forest and this was land scarcely touched by humans and those that ventured never ever left it.

Appanar " boy,are you not nervous or scared that you have come so far into the forest and just because i said so ."

Azhagan looked at him " why should i be scared of you when i know i can trust you and if there was something wrong then i would have felt it and even if i make a mistake,my friends will not and would have alerted me.but then it would have been too late."

appanar " too late for you."

" no,i meant it would have been too late for you for though i see that you are aware of the lion that is shadowing us there are others who are following us and they are here to protect me from harm."

Appanar nodded his head " well child,it is they who want to see you and explain certain things and also teach you much more."


The two of them reached a clearing and it was more like a circle for the forest stood dark green on all sides fencing off the place tighter than a stone wall.In the middle of the clearing was a small rock with a flat space in its center.The place looked like a diamond set in a jade ring.

Azhagan felt something else, a vibration,a pulse that he had known since his birth and maybe even while he was in his mother's womb.He felt a strange peace and a sense of belonging that he had never felt before and he was surprised for he felt the best when he was next to his mother.

From the forest the spirits moved as lights and a voice gently whispered " please leave for the child is safe with us."

Appanar aiyaa bowed and left without a word and disappeared into the forest.

Azhagan stood alone in the clearing and yet he was not nervous or scared,just curious and happy that something new and strange was happening in his life.He also knew that his maned friend was not with him and this was the first time he had been away from him.

The voice whispered gently " come child,come forward and sit on the rock and take your rightful place."

Azhagan went towards the rock and climbed the few steps carved into it and sat on the flat space on top of it.He sat in the lotus yogic position,which had been the way he was used to sitting and the lights whispered merrily and chattered to themselves.

The spirits moved from the shadows of the trees and slowly they came forward and circled the rock that azhagan sat on and he looked at them and smiled and now he was one with them.They moved closer and closer and soon they were around him and then in unison they all kneeled before him.

The light was white,it was bright,brighter than the sun and it poured from the skies shining around azhagan and the spirits.

Azhagan closed his eyes and let the light enter him and he drifted away.away far away and did not come back for fourteen days.


Far away and deep inside the forest,the tribals,women,monks and yeshe waited for the return of The mother and yeshe felt something whisper in his mind and with a smile stood up and looked at everybody.

" I know a few of you are wondering what happened to our leader and mother and a few of you even fear that she might be dead.But trust me,she is not and she has gone into the forest for a certain penance and meditation and will soon return to us for she has found our destination and where we will be staying forever."

Loud cheers and even screams of joy ripped the air and everyone were mightily relieved and prayed for thenmozhi's swift return.

The buddhist monk and yeshe's guardian looked at him " why is taking so long and what is keeping her away from us?"

Yeshe smiled " from great and unknown saints to Buddha,jesus and Mohammed,the prophet have all at one point of time walked away into the unknown to meditate and to realise the truth and the grand scale on which this universe operates.They went away to prepare for their difficult transition from an ordinary mortal to a soul of higher consciousness.Such transitions cannot be done among human dwellers for while in a state of deep sleep and realisation,they could be attacked and killed and then then the whole purpose would be defeated."


The old man and Buddha left thenmozhi to her deep sleep state and came out of the caves and sat on the steps.

He gently stroked the head of the cat " Buddha,there will come a time when she will be all alone and surrounded by unknown enemies and she will have only you for support."

Buddha roared ferociously in anger " Old man,what are you going on about? what do you mean she will stand alone and surrounded by unknown enemies? who are they and when is this going to happen?"

The old man looked at Buddha " they are coming my friend.they will soon return and this time they will be the equal of her and you and the child will be at a great risk."

Buddha worriedly " does she know this? does she know the great peril that is coming towards her?"

" I think she knows and i think she has known for quite some time.And yet she values yeshe and the others lives more than hers and she will fight to protect them until the last breath."

" who are we talking about and what is this danger?"

The old man shook his head " humans,mortal my dear one and yet one among them seems to have vast knowledge about us and that is why he has turned the ships away for they head back to the land of deserts and to the land of the great Pyramids for there are weapons there that can be used against thenmozhi and you."

Flashback page 109-Posted: 08 February 2017-redemption 174

Out on the open sea and about fifty kms away from the shore,the messenger of the caliph raised his hand and beckoned the caliphs brother who was the commander of the men on both the ships.

" Jalaluddin,send the other ship back to the caliph and request him for more men."

Jalaluddin " Abba,what do you mean by this request for there are nearly 300 of our best and elite warriors on these ships.With right timing and planning,me and my men can destroy a kingdom if need be and you doubt our powers and skills against a woman who leads a group of monks and sailors."

The old man smiled " Jalal,that woman is no ordinary mortal and don't lose your anger when i tell you that ten of you cannot stand against her in battle.And more importantly,something else walks behind her as her shadow and it is a very powerful spirit and i am yet to understand its origins and be certain if it is a beast or a man or something else altogether.But,please listen and carry out my request for that is the right way to go about things."

Jalaluddin nodded and then quickly asked that both the ships be brought close to each other and then commanded the other ships captain to return to Arabia and deliver personally the handwritten scrolls of his and the wise man's and wished his men a safe voyage.He asked most of the men to transfer to his ship and carrying just a skeleton crew the other ship turned and slowly made its way to the west.

It would skirt Andaman islands,run along the coast of ceylon and then filling itself with supplies on the malabar coast would turn to its three month journey to the land of Allah and the caliph.


"I went to bed and woke in the middle of the night thinking I heard someone cry, thinking I myself was weeping, and I felt my face and it was dry.

Then I looked at the window and thought: Why, yes, it's just the rain, the rain, always the rain, and turned over, sadder still, and fumbled about for my dripping sleep and tried to slip it back on."
Ray Bradbury

musings

"I went to bed and woke in the middle of the night thinking I heard someone cry, thinking I myself was weeping, and I felt my face and it was dry.Then I looked at the window and thought: Why, yes, it's just the rain, the rain, always the rain, and turned over, sadder still, and fumbled about for my dripping sleep and tried to slip it back on."
Ray Bradbury

"I wonder why I don't go to bed and go to sleep. But then it would be tomorrow, so I decide that no matter how tired, no matter how incoherent I am, I can skip on hour more of sleep and live."
Sylvia Plath,

Jannal oram-11

"The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart" Helen Keller

Sometimes,a few words join together to make up a sentence and sometimes they make up a quote and sometimes on rare occasions they give you a hint of the magic that makes up this life.For me,more than poetry and stories,quotes tell me,whisper to me a story untold,a song unsung and a life not lived.But then like the above quote by the blind helen keller,it tells you about love and god and what makes us all believers that there is more to this world than us and all of us and that there is a hidden and more powerful meaning to why we are all here.

I think we all come out broken,undone and then we meet fellow souls who mend,heal and complete us and in the process complete themselves.All it takes to make someone' day better is to let them know that you are there and will remain there for them.If this existence is the river and if my life is the boat,then i am one oar and you my loved ones are the other oars.Row my boat and i will in turn row your boat and together we will float for a brief moment in this existence for if the spring was the beginning then the waterfall is just around the corner.

Jeeva looked at Raman " how was your day?"

" It was okay.The usual negotiations and balancing of unpaid taxes and undisclosed income."

" isn't it strange raman how people wind up facing these charges when they are clearly guilty of committing
these offences."

Raman smiled " i have asked myself that and it always comes down to greed but also a misplaced anger that their hard earned money is going into the governments coffers and then wasted on projects that make no sense for them or their families."

Jeeva looked at him " i don't understand that statement."

Raman looked at her and then looked away as if he was searching for the right answer " For us middle class people our salaries come to us after the tax is deducted.But the cases i handle involve huge amounts that run into crores.The clients are all super rich and they have a dim view of the government and their economic policies.I guess there is a little bit of truth in their views all though i firmly believe that the law is the same and equal to every citizen and we all have a duty to follow it."

Jeeva thought about her boss k.k.Agarwal " i work for a very rich man and yet he is a very honest person and pays his taxes on time and in full.There have been many times when he has resigned his post as a director of that company because their dealings were a bit shady."

" if only everyone were like you boss.But then me and my people will be out of work and i guess i will have to look for a new line of work."

Jeeva laughed and the sounds of her laughter sent shivers down his soul and he couldn't help staring at her neck and ears and then hurriedly turned away feeling guilty.

She smiled " raman,you lawyers will never be out of work and surely not as long as humans exist on this planet" and burst out laughing and raman joined in and laughed with her.

Both of them had lost track as to the bus being nearly full for immersed in each other thoughts and conversation the outside world had vanished for a brief instant.

But they came back to reality and then they heard the conversation of the two men sitting behind them.

One man was telling the other " even my wife used to laugh like this when we were newly married.but that did not last for more than a few years.Now after two children all i hear is yells about this and that and what nonsense the kids are up to.At least i hope these two remain happy and peaceful forever."

Raman looked at jeeva nervously and his lips mouthed " oops.sorry."

Jeeva's lips mouthed " it's okay."

Awakening

Father John also known as john selvakumar joined the church and into the service of christ at the age of 19 and now at the age of 60,he had spent more than four decades with christ in his heart.But then his heart was not pure and far from it for it held ugly desires and his gratification for those needs ran into the worst acts that humans can think of and that was preying on the young and innocent.

The fact that he was the dean of the don bosco school in kodaikanal helped him to cater to his ugly needs and thoughts.But the cunning demon that he was,he carefully covered his tracks and went about his life in the most secretive way for he knew for certain that if caught and his dirty actions saw the light,then he and his career would be finished.So,he went about his preying on the young kids by acting as if he was just touching them,hugging them and this was about all that he had the courage to do and he knew in his soul that he was damned forever.

But the new boy who had just joined last week was a temptation that he knew he would not be able to resist.The boys mother herself was a very beautiful woman and yet his taste did not run towards the adults.

Many a time over the week,Father john had tried to talk to the boy but the boy always avoided his touch and there was a time when he even glared at him in anger with an expression that he knew what the father was up to.
This resistance to his touch only angered and roused the peadophile father johns interest in the boy and now he watched over the boys every movement like a predator watching a helpless prey before it makes its move.

The boy slept in his own room and everyday he sat by the window and spoke to god and his father.But there were many a time when he would hear his mother cry and would slowly tip toe to her room and get in besides her and hug her to comfort her and as always she would drift away into a deep sleep.

It was nearly ten in the night and his mother popped in and kissed him good night and asked him not to read so much but he smiled " just a few more pages and i will go to sleep."

The windows in his room were open and although they lived in a small but beautiful cottage at the end of the small lane not far from the city center,it was a prett safe area and moreover there was nothing of value in the house.The mother did not worry too much about the windows being open and about her little son's safety for she trusted life and trusted him.

Father john slowly walked in the darkness with his camera for he planned to shoot some photos of the boy as he slept in his bed.He was familiar with the whole of kodaikanal and knew each and every entrance and exit in the woods like the back of his hand.

He quietly made his was through some dense thicket and soon stood in the back of the house where the boy lived.Stealthily,he removed the camera lens cover and slowly made his way around the house and stood facing the windows of the room in which the boy slept.

A voice whispered " This is very wrong and pretty evil what you are doing."

Father john quickly turned around and squeezed his eyes to peer into the darkness to see who had spoken but there was nobody there and yet he stood for about five minutes and then decided that it was his conscience speaking to him and since he never paid much heed to his soul or god,he turned back and aimed the camera at the boy who slept blissfully.

" I am warning you.I can just but warn you for such evil sins always have dreadful consequences.So,please walk away right now before it is too late."

Father john snarled in anger and turned around " leave me alone and get away or else i will harm you."

Saying this,he removed a small but deadly lookin knife from his robe and faced the darkness and the voice of the stranger who was speaking to him from his hiding.

Then he felt a shiver run through his body and started trembling violently for the air around him suddenly dropped to freezing temparature and then he heard the growl and gnashing of teeth.

" run now and save yourself while you still have just a slim chance although i think it is too late." the voice spoke and father john stepped forward " whoever you think you are,you better show yourself or else i am going to find you and kill you slowly.inch by inch."

The darkness shimmered and moved as if it had a life of its own and then something pale floated towards him and
before a scream of terror could leave his throat,he felt her fingers tear into his neck as she lifted him effortlessly and dragged him away,deep,deep into the darkness of the forest.

Nothing would be ever known about the mysterious disappearance of father john or what drove him to his end.

Mani stood by the windows and watched over his sleeping son and then he turned to the darkness and tried to see what had become of the man who was planning to prey on his son.

He knew that he would have done something to protect his son but not to the extent what his mother was capable of for she knew no mercy and never ever forgave those who trespassed their lives with evil intentions.


WHAT IF-THE RETURN

Jannal oram-12

"The worst wounds, the deadliest of them, aren't the ones people see on the outside. They're the ones that make us bleed internally." Sherrilyn Kenyon

window-an opening especially in the wall of a building for admission of light and air that is usually closed by casements or sashes containing transparent material (as glass) and capable of being opened and shut.a means of entrance or access;

If one's soul is the resident of the house,then his body is the very house itself and the eyes are the windows that let in light and information into the soul.But what about a blind man?

Yes,what about a blind man and other lives who cannot hear or talk and yet mother nature in her eternal and infinite grace has given us so many other windows that can bring information into our body and into our soul.Ears,nose,tongue etc but the skin is the most beautiful sensory organ and it is the largest organ of the human body and the average adult human has a surface area of between 1.5-2.0 square meters (16.1-21.5 sq ft.).

The bus reached Anna square and both jeeva and raman saw chennai lit up with yellows of the streetlamps and the thousands of vehicles headlights that were plying on the busy anna salai.The reds of their tail lights and braking lights danced with the yellows and it made for some kind of trance dance show of lights.

Jeeva looked at raman,hesitated and began to speak again and then looked away shyly and he noticed this and wanted to ask her what she was thinking but controlling himself,which came easily to raman,he thought it would be better and also decent for her to speak,rather than push her or force her to speak her mind.

" You don't speak much,do you raman."

Raman " i do jeeva,but mostly i leave my speaking to the courts and yes,there is a popular consensus in my very own work place that i don't speak much.But what about you,do you speak well and a lot?"

Jeeva shook her head " no,not much but i did once,long ago and in a different world and when i was a very different person."

Something in the way she said those words made raman feel very sad and much against his nature,he gently squeezed her hand and then realising what he had done,he hurriedly looked at her and said " god,i am so sorry.I don't know what i was thinking.Please forgive me."

" it is okay raman.honestly,it felt nice and very comforting.And as a woman,and trust me a woman always knows that your touch was meant to comfort and not meant to convey anything else."

She looked at him " you mentioned that you live alone.But don't you get bored and lonely being so far away from your family."

She could see him searching for the right answer and jokingly " raman.you don't have to struggle so much to answer my question.it was just a casual question.You are not in a court and neither am i a judge."

Raman shrugged " i guess i am a creature of habit,more so than others and i know it.But to answer your question,yes.sometimes i do get a bit lonely but i spend so much time buried in my work that i have little time for loneliness and other things that are its companions.'

Seeing her wait for more,he continued " my parents do drop in once in a while but they get so bored and tired of the city that they run back to their daily lives in a couple of days."

" But sometimes i do catch a film once in a while and that too if my colleagues rave about them an give great reviews.What about you jeeva,do you go out with your friends and catch a film,share a cup of coffee and things like that."

" seriously raman,where does one have time for all that.Like you,it is work,work for six days a week and then sunday is just being at home with my parents.Being with them and listening to my sister is entertainment enough for me.Although i do miss going to the mall and watching a good film.I used to watch a lot of films when i was in college with my friends but that was many years ago.times change,i have changed and i sometimes wonder if life has bypassed me totally though honestly it is i who took the bypass route rather than the highway."

Both fell silent for they knew that they both had spoken more than they usually did and not knowing what to do,wondering whether to continue,they both sighed in relief when the conductor yelled " next stop saidapet."

Jeeva looked at him " our stop is here."

Raman hesitatingly " jeeva,if in case i am going to watch a film,would you want to join me."

Jeeva looked at him " yes.Thank you.I would like that very much.But"

Raman raised his hand " we will go when you are comfortable and ready.No problems."

The bus slowly groaned and moaned and squealed like a tortured animal as its rusty brakes brought the huge vehicle to a halt.

Chandran looked at thangarasu " first steps,always the best steps."

Thangarasu smiled " yes,chandra.More than anything,falling in love is the most beautiful experience.All those unsaid words,unspoken thoughts and those heart stopping touches and grazings of fingers."

Chandran looked at thangarasu " you have two kids going to college and here you are feeling like director bharati raja while he explains the romantic scene to the hero and the heroine.Stupid,just drive carefully for i want to go home safely and at least dream about love while my wife snores loudly."

He blew loudly on the whistle and yelled " right,right."

What if-The return chapter two



"It is easier to wipe a thousand tears from your eyes than to wipe a single tear from your soul." ? Matshona Dhliwayo

Somewhere far away and far from the deep sleep that she was in and yet shalini's nose tingled as felt the waft of fragrances that came through the windows carrying the messages of Eucalyptus trees, Pear trees in bloom,rhododendron and magnolia.

It was dark and windy on the terrace of Apricot towers and her hair blew all over her face and moving it aside she saw mani alone at the edge.

The wind above the 20th floor swirled and ruffled mani's hair and shook his frail body.Mani turned and his eyes now sought only shalini and he looked at her with happiness and so much love that it melted her heart.Then mani gave her one of the saddest smiles she had ever seen him give and threw himself off the edge.

Shalini yelled " mani,no,please don't leave me,wait for me" and ran towards the edge and looked down but the tears came as a heavy rain and blinded her sight.

Then she felt the tender fingers gently wipe away the tears and she opened her eyes to see her son Rahul in bed next to her.

He had the same eyes as his father,the same soft eyes that saw everything,understood everything and missed nothing.

She placed a soft kiss on his forehead and both lay staring at each other.

" The same dream mother."

" Yes sweetie,the same dream again and again and there is nothing i can do about it."

" Dad says he is sorry for what happened.But he said that there was no other way to stop the angry lady from hurting others."

Shalini stroked her sons soft cheeks " i know baby.But every action has so many reactions and consequences and like the many ripples we see when a stone is thrown into a pond,your dads action has caused permanent damage to me and also to you.But it is okay and we will manage as we have done all these years."

She looked at him " did you sleep well? I am sorry if my crying woke you up from your sleep."

Rahul shook his head " it is okay mummy.But it was not your crying that woke me up but the angry lady for i think she came to our house last night."

Shalini's face darkened with anger " what did she want? What did she do?"

Rahul shrugged his tiny shoulders " nothing.she never comes near me and always keeps her distance from me and respects dads wishes.In fact i think she was there to protect me from something evil."

" evil,what evil.Please rahul,be more clear in what you are saying for you are scaring your mummy."

Rahul's tiny face took many expressions as he tried to think of the right way in which to explain his feelings and finally gave up for he could not find the words and irritated " i don't know how to say it but i felt that way a few times in school when that bad man came near me.But i dont feel that way anymore and i think it is gone now."

Shalini not knowing what to ask of her young child,calmed down and knew that if it was answers that she wanted then mani would give them and he would never lie to her,not when it came to her and his son.

It was nearly seven in the morning and shalini asked rahul to go brush his tooth and bathe and get ready for school and went in search of mani and found him where she knew he would be and that is on the footsteps of the front of the house.

Both the living and the undead looked at each other and the anger that had gathered in her heart vanished the moment she saw him,for she loved him so much,now more than ever that he was dead.

" what happened last night?"

mani sadly " mother came visiting and that's it."

" Your son tells me that he felt something bad or the presence of someone evil last night and that he felt the same in school.You are the one who is always with him,so could you please tell me what the hell is going on?"

Mani was about to reply,when the bell on the gate announced the milk man and shalini " we are not done,not until you tell me what is going on" and went to the gate to pick up the milk packets dropped in the bag that hung on the gate.

A few kms away,in the church of christ the redeemer,sister catherine thought it was strange that father john was not yet awake and ready for the morning service and worried that he might not be well,knocked on the door and called to him " father,father john.It is nearly 7.00 am and the crowd is waiting for the service to begin."

But no response and worriedly sister catherine opened the door and went into the quarters of father john but could not find him there.

They found his mobile on his study desk and then the other members of the clergy went in search of him and even after an hour there was no sign of him.

One member,brother ruven looked at the others " i noticed that his camera is missing.I don't know if you are aware of the fact that sometimes father john goes out in the night to capture the night life of birds and small animals.Maybe he has hurt himself and is waiting for us to rescue him."

Immediately,the local police station was informed and many started searching the nearby forest and thickets for the missing father and to no avail.

It would be many months before they would find the body of father john for right now it hung in pieces,high up in the pine trees and far from human space and deep in the forest.

This was like a buffet for the crows and other birds and soon the large ravens landed on the smelling corpse and took large bites out of his face.

The eyes and soft tissue of the face are the first to go and the crows like the justice of the quiet and unseen god eat man and animal and have no qualms about it for in their eyes all are equal and meat is meat and just food.

Ashes to ashes and dust to dust.But for father john it would be piece by piece and an eye for one crow and the other for the raven.