*From To Sathish* - Thread 3 - Page 30

Jail bird

He shuffled out of the jail,slowly for his knees and hips hurt and the poor jail diet he had been on for nearly 45 years added to his lack of strength.The sun looked different from the way it looked from inside the prison walls.He had been in jail for nearly 45 years and he had gone into the walls of concrete and iron bars at the age of 19.
He had served consecutive life sentences for killing his parents and sister.He had offered no explaination as to why he had killed them all and the police had not asked him too much.He had been caught with the huge knife dripping blood and with blood all over his face and body.

He shuffled out of jail and lost himself.He had known the city had changed but it had changed beyond recognition.A few years ago they had all been bundled and shifted to some jail in a place called Puzhal and he had spent the last few years there before his release today.But for him,everyone else were or seemed to be happy that he was going to be free and he did wonder what freedom or being free meant.

The day before he had left the jail,two people had gotten in touch with him and their coming to his cell had scattered all the other inmates.the first person to come and see him had been the warden nataraj who in total contrast to his supposedly terrible nature sat with him and spoke a few kind words.

" Ramayya,you have spent a major part of your life and youth behind walls.I know i am much younger than you and yet i can read people very well.I have read your case files and what sticks out and what nobody bothered with was the motive.what was the motive to kill your family,murder them in cold blood.When i look at you,i don't see a killer,a cold blooded murderer for all i see is a man who has given up,turned his back on life and has retreated into a shell.People here say that in all these 45 years,you have spoken but a few words.well,it does not matter now for it is all behind you.the reason i am here is to tell you to live your life in peace."

Warden natraj handed him a visiting card " ramayya,this is a very dear pal of mine who runs a old age home in the outskirts of tambaram and there is an opening there for a watchman.The place is very calm and faraway from the city and you might just like it.Give it a try and if in case you don't like it then call me and maybe i will help you find another job."

Ramu aka ramanathan looked up with a gentle smile in his eyes that did not reflect in his lips nodded gently " thank you for your kindness."

Natraj realising that no more words were forthcoming from the man wished him the best and left.

The second person to come and see him was the multiple murder convict Manickam who was supposedly a don of some sorts.Even the wardens and the jailor's themselves left him alone and treated him with lot of respect.

Manickam nodded to the giants who had accompanied him and they left him and ramayya in peace.

He looked at the old man who sat with his head bent,eyes on the floor,thoughts out of the jail flying somewhere with someone else.

" i am manickam.I am a bad guy and i know that and the world knows it too.When you go out,check this place out and talk to this person if you need something,like a job or some cash.If in case you are willing then maybe work,dirty work can be found for you."

Manickam left a small note near ramayya and left the old man alone.


45 years of prison and he had worked nearly every day of that.But it had never felt like work for carpentry and painting had been his passions and in the solitary confines of the prison they had bloomed and he had become a master at both the crafts.Hundreds of chairs,small tables and stools had been sold and respecting his request for privacy,the buyers from the outside world never had been told who the maker was.

All that work had begun with 20 rs per day in the beginning and then had been raised to 25,to 30 and now stood at 50rs for skilled workers and 40 rs for unskilled workers.So 45 years of work had been regularly deposited in his state bank of india account and that was now a substantial amount.

A few times, amounts ranging from 10,000 to 15,000 had been withdrawn and they had been given towards the jail fund and when a few of the jailors had been ill or needed money for their children's education.


Ramu sat on a wooden bench outside a tea stall and slowly sipped the hot tea and thought the beverage tasted much worse than that they were given inside the jail.His eyebrows went sky high when 8 rs was asked for the tea and ramu had to see the board where the prices were listed before handing the cash.

The tea master laughed knowingly " just out of jail,that is why the price is shocking.wait until you hear the prices of vegetables and fruits and other things for then you will run back to the safety of the jail."


Ramu smiled,shrugged his shoulders and slowly shuffled away from the jail and dissolved into the city.

To be continued,maybe a few or more chapters.

A song without words

Jeans rolled up to the knees showed his hairy and masculine legs.Jeans cut off just above her knees showed off her fair,slim and shapely legs.Young lovers,lost in their love,her right arm holding his leftt,her head resting on his shoulder they walked near the shore as waves came rushing as if intoxicated by their pure,new and heady love.Small waves,low tide waves came gently tickled their feet with its frothy salt,foamy mess and for a second the bubbles let in the rising suns rays of light.Both laughed like children,chittered like baby monkeys and twittered and chirped like song birds.

The lovers made their own music,sang their wordless song of love with their glances as chemicals and hormones raged in their bodies and he bent his head slightly and kissed her fully on her mouth.She trembled,shivered and opened her mouth as his tongue probed her and they stood soaking in their love,bathing in the gentle light and they left footprints on the wet sand as they walked.

She turned ever so slightly to see and delight in their footsteps,maybe wondering and cherishing the mark they were leaving in this world with their love and then came a gentle wave and wiped the shore clean and i saw the pain and hurt in her face as they were forgotten by the sea and sand.

I sat,absorbed,sighed and touched my lips to feel her kiss long ago,very long ago and raised my head as i saw another pair walk the same walk in the same path and take joy with the same waves.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uaWA2GbcnJU

watch this and see your lips spread wide in a smile and also maybe,maybe your eyes might get wet caught in all emotions.

I sit sometimes in the dark just before dawn
I sit with my thoughts on the brown sandy lawn
I hear the lullabies of the gentle waves
I see and imagine about the small,salty frothy waves
They remind me of toddlers and i dream that the waves have just been delivered by the ocean
I let them come up to my toes
and we talk,touch the waves and me
I say i am land from sand ,take my hand
the waves scamper away in fear whispering
we are from the sea and easy to deceive
land and sea are not meant to be
maybe we under you in wells and springs
and you under us far,far down
yet we float over you
and you remain thus rooted in land and sand
Sometimes larger waves come crashing in with a huge thud and boom
as if the parent waves are coming to collect the baby waves from the creche of the shore
I sit still waiting for the sun to light my skin and charge my cells
I walk away on two legs and yet my soul lingers on the shore
with the wave babies running,scampering in a game of catch me if you can

At 12 last night,give or take a few minutes,my mobile lit up and the owl,bat and dog that i am caught the glimmer and shimmer of the screen and i sleepily reached for it.A message from niaz,my childhood pal from my krishnaswamy school days saying that suresh another pal from the same era was flying in from america and he wanted to know if we could meet up for dinner on monday night.

My mobile is never switched off but kept in silent mode and i lay awake as i heard pitter,patter noises on the window panes and i knew it was drizzling.The noises whispered that it would be a cloudy and probably a rainy day.The lullabies of thousands of rain babies landing feet first on the window was magical and they slowly lulled me into another bout of deep sleep.

Hi people,

I have been busy with the corporate film shoot of TVS motorcycles.Went for a couple of film auditions and no surprise they want me to play a police officer.This without them knowing that i have acted in thani oruvan as a police officer.

I wonder,really wonder why the film world wants me only in uniform.So i asked a few of my pals and my wife why and they all gave me the same,funny answer.Dignity and fit looking.

Yikes,me and dignity.well,maybe fit looking but dignity i thought belonged to old and mature actors.

I am going to think about it and then decide if i want to or not.

I will start writing the final chapters of Azhagan and i hope they do not disappoint for it has been a long voyage of nearly 94 chapters.

See you all soon with my wild fantasies and childish imaginations.

Lots of love

Haha...the cop uniform must be truly attracted to you!!

whispers from my soul-1

Singing in the rain

Three or four nights ago it drizzled gently and by morning the traces of the water from heaven vanished without a trace,dragged deep into the sands of besantnagar.There were traces here and there of the drizzle on the leaves and on the windshield of my car.

I wrapped the creative earphones around my nut and taking a deep breath started jogging.The scent of the night rain was there in the air just like the scent of her body and the taste of her remains in your mouth and senses even after she has gone.A few drops floated and pittered and pattered on my head and i looked up to see where they were coming from.The few drops of rain led people to unfurl their black polyester roofs over their heads and i thought " no rain,problem.rains,problem.But this is just a drizzle,a moment to relax and enjoy and remember her,mother nature for her smell was much stronger than the other woman.

Chapter 95


There is good, and there is evil. Right, and wrong. Heroes and villains. And if we are blessed with wisdom, then there are glimpses between the cracks of each where light streams through. We wait in silence for these times, when sense can be made. When meaningless existence comes into focus, and our purpose presents itself. And if we have the strength to be honest, and what we find there, staring back at us, is our own reflection. Bearing witness to the duality of life. And each one of us is capable of both the dark, and the light.. the good and evil, of either, of all. And destiny, while marching ever in our direction can be rerouted by the choices we make. By the love we hold on to, and the promises we keep.


In the darkness when sleep has come and gone.In the quiet when your loved ones are asleep and when sleep has abandoned you.In the solitude of our minds and as the world around you is resting in comfort you lie awake,single,married,divorced,separated,pining souls who love and are not loved.You wonder what you are,who you are and why you are.Duty,loyalty,priorities aside you ponder if there is more to this time,voyage called life.In the dark they come ghosts of my past and they remind me of many things good and bad and just as the tears of sadness fill my eyes sleep once again comes and lulls me to sleep whispering " sleep now and rise to a new day." The day comes,flows and again night comes and again i lie awake and so it goes round and round and one day,well... welcome to where ever you are.


The days of light before the day of darkness


Azhagan turned to malar " I have had a change of heart and change of plan and i have decided to go visit Perumalvaram,my village before i go to madurai."

Malar nodded okay but azhagan knew that she was curious to know the reason why he was deviating from going to madurai and instead going to perumalvaram.Madurai was a day away but perumalvaram was another two days away.

Azhagan whispered his thoughts loudly " there are some souls i have to meet for i don't know if i will see them again.There are some things i need to tell them before i go to madurai and meet the new king and queen."

Malar shocked " new queen and a new king.When did this happen and how do you know about what is happening in madurai when you were away for such a long time ?"

Azhagan remained silent and malar " well i guess this is another aspect of you that i have yet to understand but frankly speaking although it does not surprise me it surely scares me a bit,a tiny bit.But then you are one who plays with the wild lions as if they were kittens and you are the one who gave me the power of speech when you came back from " Sairandhri vanam' the first time you went there.Forget me,my whole village thinks you are some god who is walking the earth for some unknown purpose.So tell me,are you really a god ?"

Azhagan laughed loudly " god,what god are you talking about and which god are you comparing me with ?"

Both of them found it funny and after some time azhagan turned to malar " i am just a normal person like you and yet there is something different in the way my body reacts to certain situations.But we will talk about that and much more when the time is right."

They stopped to drink some water and azhagan stared at malar who blushed and looked away " stop staring at me like that for it does strange things to my body and mind."

Azhagan gently picked a strand of hair that had fallen across malar's cheek " i feel the same way too."

He kissed her like he had never kissed before and malar melted in his strong arms and they stood in the quiet and the solitude of the forest like that for a long time.


"A lover asked his beloved,
Do you love yourself more than you love me?
Beloved replied, I have died to myself and I live for you.
I've disappeared from myself and my attributes,
I am present only for you.
I've forgotten all my learnings,
but from knowing you I've become a scholar.
I've lost all my strength, but from your power I am able.
I love myself...I love you.
I love you...I love myself."
? Rumi



Thoughts,plans for now and the future flew in the shape of sealed,secretive messages between both the kingdoms and azhagan was now the eye of the storm.Even as winds howl at great and deadly speeds in the eye,in the middle it is calm and quiet.

Rajendra cholan wanted to put an end to azhagan once for all and maravarman pandyan wanted to protect his land and people and was ready to sacrifice the very hero who had brought fame to the name pandya and who was probably the one person who could protect them.

But maravarman was fighting for his land and for his love and queen and these priorities had replaced all that was good in his soul.

Maravarman sat in counsel with thenmozhi and his generals " rajendra cholan will come for azhagan and his village but we have to be ready in case he decides to come to madurai to wreak his hatred on us.If it comes to that then we should be ready to fight to the last man.We have been under the cholas for too long and like my brother i think it is time to fight and die rather than live uner the rule of a terrible tyrant.I would not be resorting to these hasty plans if it had been kulothunga cholan who though rough was just and tolerant."


Far away rajendra cholan was practising his sword skills and everybody who trained with him were amazed at the speed and skill the new king displayed.

Putting his shield down and taking a deep breath as the sweat poured down his body,rajendra cholan looked at his guru who had trained him in sword fighting " am i good enough ? am i ready ? "

The guru,a very old man smiled in pride " you are ready.you are more than ready if it is a mere mortal you are going to fight.But from all that i have heard about this young man,Azhagan and his feats.well,i don't know what to say for although they seem to far fetched to be real,the killing of moorkan in a few seconds sends shivers down my spine.Forget that young warrior,do you think you could have beaten moorkan in single combat "

Rajendra cholan shook his head " no,i don't think i could have beaten moorkan and i don't think anybody in this world could have beaten him.But i have made certain plans to weaken him and maybe then we can fight on equal terms."

The old master sadly " does it matter so much to you,this victory over azhagan.Is it so precious that you are willing to sacrifice your self,soul,dignity just to beat this young man."

Rajendra cholan " yes.it matters a lot to me.it means that i can live,breathe and be normal again.If i do not kill this man then i will never be at peace and my people will never respect me.so i do it for me and for our people and for all cholas."


Two reeds drink from one stream.
One is hollow, the other is sugar-cane.

Show me anger and I will show you 'Hurt'.
Show me hurt and I will show you 'Love'.
Peel the layers if you care!


Rumi

Chapter 96


"I belong to the people I love, and they belong to me--they, and the love and loyaty I give them, form my identity far more than any word or group ever could." Veronica Roth, Allegiant


My soul is like a small house,small but beautiful.Beautifully built with happiness and sadness and also lot of memories.Every brick is a moment,a memory where love was given,happiness was shared,a death was mourned and so i live and breathe because of the many bricks built with the help of many people.The times here in the forum,interacting with you few members and sharing my thoughts,hopes and dreams and in a small way why i am the way i am.so in the end we are not one but a mixture of everyone and everything.The heat of the morning sun,the colors of the flowers i gaze as i walk,the dogs who wag their tales.Me,you and everyone is a part of everything.


Father and son

He sat quietly under the tree,a mighty king whose roar had been loud and strong.A gentle king who knew and understood all that went on in his kingdom.But now he sat alone,weaker and older in the twilight of his life.

One of the few of his personal guard who had sworn themselves to serve under him until death slowly whispered
his name and Kulashekaran pandyan aroused himself from the thoughts he had drowned himself in and asked the guard to speak.

" My lord,word has come that azhagan is coming to see you and he is coming with a young woman."

The word azhagan sent bolts of energy into the old king " what,azhagan is coming,where.how much more time will it be before he is here."

The guard whispered " he will be here in a few minutes."

Kulashekaran could not control his happiness and excitement and called for his queen " azhagan is here.prepare food,good,tasty food for him and his companion.quick."


Azhagan threw his senses around him and closed his eyes and his feet unerringly took the path towards the old king and he entered the small clearing where a few huts had been built for kulashekaran and the people with him.

They stood waiting for him as he came forward and azhagan saw the king barely able to stand,still crippled from the stroke he had suffered.He hurried forward in respect and gratitude to the great man who did not have to stand but still did in humility.

Azhagan fell to his knees and bowed " my lord,my king,my salutations to kulashekaran pandyan the light that is the chola kingdom."

Malar fell to her knees in awe and respect for she had heard so much about the great king and was overjoyed to finally see him in person.

Azhagan stood up and gently stepped forward to face the king.Both looked at each other in love and azhagan slowly reached out and hugged kulashekaran pandyan and whispered " king or not you will always be the father i never had."

Kulashekaran could not control his tears and he wept like a child and replied " even if i had never been king or anybody important,i would have been happy enough to be your father and have a son like you."

Azhagan turned to malar and when she stood up,he beckoned her to his side and she came shyly and slowly.

" My lord,i present Malar,daughter of thinnan and the princess of the lands that border our mountains."

Kulashekaran pandyan asked malar to come closer to him and touched her cheek gently " princess yes but i see a mighty queen now that she is by your side.My blessings to you daughter of the mountains and i hope you find our humble place suitable for your stay."

Malar horrified fell to her knees " mighty king,please do not speak of comfort or such other things.that i have seen you is comfort enough."

Malar hurriedly searched for something in her bag and came up with something wrapped in expensive looking silk.

She humbly offered it to kulashekaran pandyan and he took it and was surprised to see a rare and expensive looking diamond necklace.

Malar whispered " mighty king,these jewels were given to me by my father to show that i will be the next ruler of our lands.I give this to you and our lands included so that you can again be king and rule us wisely."

Kulashekaran pandyan was moved and he was lost for words " queen indeed and the right one for a mighty and legendary king."

Malar blushed and looked at azhagan who nodded in approval.

The news that azhagan had come back had now reached perumalvaram and everybody rushed to the forest where he was staying with the king and soon the whole place took on a celebration mood and everybody were either crying or laughing in happiness on seeing azhagan back again with them.

The eyes of the spies looked on and gathered every information and messages were sent to rajendra cholan.

Azhagan closed his eyes and his senses told him everything.Nothing was hidden and everything was revealed.He smiled and yet the pain in the eyes were not missed by kulashekaran pandyan and he looked at azhagan and raised a single eyebrow.

Azhagan nodded and mouthed the word " later"

My story is not just about me but it is a story of all that has happened and about the people who made it happen.I am not one though my body might appear as one.In the most basic form,in the most basic and smallest level we are all one,atomically connected though anatomically disconnected.When i die,when my form is burnt or buried i will return to that connection,formless one again with the universe.

I am azhagan.I am the son of avini.