*From To Sathish* - Thread 3 - Page 28

MR.PM Nair IAS (Secretary) on - Late DR. APJ Abdul Kalam

1. Dr Kalam used to receive costly gifts whenever he went as it is customary for many nations to give gifts to the visiting Head of state. Refusing the gift would become an insult to the nation and an embarrassment for India. So, he received them and on his return, Dr Kalam asked the gifts to be photographed and then catalogued and handed over to the archives. Afterwards, he never even looked at them. He did not take even a pencil from the gifts received when he left Rashtrapathi Bhavan.

2. In 2002, the year Dr Kalam took over, the Ramadan month came in July-August. it was a regular practice for the President to host an iftar party. Dr Kalam asked Mr Nair why he should host a party to people who are already well fed and asked him to find out how much would be the cost. Mr Nair told it costs around Rs. 22 lakhs. Dr Kalam asked him to donate that amount to a few selected orphanages in the form of food, dresses and blankets. The selection of orphanages was left to a team in Rashtrapathi Bhavan and Dr Kalam had no role in it. After the selection was made, Dr Kalam asked Mr Nair to come inside his room and gave him a cheque for Rs 1 lakh. He said that he is giving some amount from his personal savings and this should not be informed to anyone. Mr Nair was so shocked that he said "sir, I will go outside and tell everyone . People should know that here is a man who not only donated what he should have spent but he is giving his own money also". Dr Kalam though he was a devout Muslim did not have Iftar parties in the years in which he was the President.

3. Dr Kalam did not like "yes sir" type of people. Once when the Chief Justice of India had come and on some point Dr Kalam expressed his view and asked Mr Nair, "Do you agree?"/ Mr Nair said "No sir, i do not agree with you". The Chief Justice was shocked and could not believe his ears. It was impossible for a civil servant to disagree with the president and that too so openly. Mr Nair told him that the President would question him afterwards why he disagreed and if the reason was logical 99% he would change his mind.

4. Dr Kalam invited 50 of his relatives to come to Delhi and they all stayed in Rashtrapathi Bhavan. He organised a bus for them to go around the city which was paid for by him. No official car was used. All their stay and food was calculated as per the instructions of Dr Kalam and the bill came to Rs 2 lakhs which he paid. In the history of this country no one has done it. Now, wait for the climax, Dr Kalam's elder brother stayed with him in his room for the entire one week as Dr Kalam wanted his brother to stay with him. When they left, Dr Kalam wanted to pay rent for that room also. Imagine a President of country paying rent for the room in which he is staying. This was any way not agreed by the staff who thought the honesty was getting too much to handle !!!.

5. When Kalam sir was to leave Rashtrapathi Bhavan at the end of the tenure, every staff member went and met him and paid their respects. Mr Nair went to him alone as his wife had fractured her leg and was bed ridden. Dr Kalam asked why his wife did not come. He replied that she was in bed due to an accident. next day, Nair saw lot of police men around his house and asked what had happened. They said that the President of India was coming to visit him in his house. He came and met his wife and chatted for some time. Mr Nair says that no president of any country would visit a civil servant's house and that too on such a simple pretext.

Jai Hind


FIELD MARSHALL MANEKSHAW'S LECTURE AT DEFENSE SERVICES COLLEGE, WELLINGTON ON LEADERSHIP AND DISCIPLINE, NOVEMBER 1998

Although it's been 17 years since he spoke these words, it still holds true.

Commandant, Ladies and Gentlemen, I am fully conscious of the privilege, which is mine, to have been invited here to address the college. A while ago, I was invited to a seminar where the subject was youth, and people said that the youth of this country was not pulling its weight, that generally was not satisfied with how the young were functioning. When I was asked what I thought about it, I said that the youngsters of this country are disappointed, disturbed and confused. They cannot understand why all these untoward things are happening in this country. They want to know who is to blame. Not them. If they want to study at night and there is no power, they want to know who is to blame. Not them. If they want to have a bath, there is no water; they want to know who is to blame. Not them. They want to go to college and university and they are told there are not any vacancies; they want to know who is to blame. Not them. They say - here is a country which was considered the brightest jewel in the British Crown. What has happened to this Bright Jewel?
>
> No longer are there excuses with the old political masters saying that the reason why we are in this state is because we were under colonial rule for 250 years. They turn around and say that the British left us almost fifty years ago. What have you done? They point to Singapore, they point to Malaysia, they point to Indonesia, and they point to Hong Kong. They say that they were also under colonial rule and look at the progress those countries have made.
>
> They point to Germany and to Japan who fought a war for four and a half years- whose youth was decimated and industry was destroyed. They were occupied, and they had to pay reparations; Look at the progress those countries have made. The youngsters want an answer. So, Ladies and Gentlemen, I thought I should give you the answer. The problem with us is the lack of leadership.
>
> Commandant, Ladies and Gentlemen, do not misunderstand me, when I say lack of political leadership. I do not mean just political leadership. Of course, there is lack of leadership, but also there is lack of leadership in every walk of life, whether it is political, administrative, in our educational institutions, or whether it is our sports organizations. Wherever you look, there is lack of leadership.
>
> I do not know whether leaders are born or made. There is a school of thought that thinks that leaders are born. Ladies and Gentlemen, we have a population of 960 million people and we procreate at the rate of 17 million-equaling the total population of Australia-each year, and yet there is a dearth of leadership. So, those of you who still contribute to the fact that leaders are born, may I suggest you throw away your family planning, throw away the pill,throw away any inhibiting factor and make it free for all. Then perhaps someday a leader may be born.
>
> So, if leaders are not born, can leaders be made? My answer is yes. Give me a man or a woman with a common sense and decency, and I can make a leader out of him or her. That is the subject which I am going to discuss with you this morning.
>
> What are the attributes of leadership? The first, the primary, indeed the cardinal attribute of leadership is professional knowledge and professional competence. Now you will agree with me that you cannot be born with professional knowledge and professional competence even if you are a child of Prime Minister, or the son of an industrialist, or the progeny of a Field Marshal. Professional knowledge and professional competence have to be acquired by hard work and by constant study. In this fast- moving technologically developing world, you can never acquire sufficient professional knowledge.
>
> You have to keep at it, and at it, and at it. Can those of our political masters who are responsible for the security and defense of this country cross their hearts and say they have ever read a book on military history, on strategy, on weapons developments. Can they distinguish a mortar from a motor, a gun from a howitzer, a guerrilla from a gorilla, though a vast majority of them resemble the latter.
>
> Ladies and Gentlemen, professional knowledge and professional competence are a sine qua non of leadership. Unless you know what you are talking about, unless you understand your profession, you can never be a leader. Now some of you must be wondering why the Field Marshal is saying this, every time you go round somewhere, you see one of our leaders walking around, roads being blocked, transport being provided for them. Those, ladies and gentlemen, are not leaders. They are just men and women going about disguised as leaders - and they ought to be ashamed of themselves!
>
> What is the next thing you need for leadership? It is the ability to make up your mind to make a decision and accept full responsibility for that decision. Have you ever wondered why people do not make a decision? The answer is quite simple. It is because they lack professional competence, or they are worried that their decision may be wrong and they will have to carry the can. Ladies and Gentlemen, according to the law of averages, if you take ten decisions, five ought to be right. If you have professional knowledge and professional competence, nine will be right, and the one that might not be correct will probably be put right by a subordinate officer or a colleague. But if you do not take a decision, you are doing something wrong. An act of omission is much worse than an act of commission. An act of commission can be put right. An act of omission cannot. Take the example of the time when the Babri Masjid was about to be destroyed. If the Prime Minister, at that stage, had taken a decision to stop it, a whole community - 180 million would not have been harmed. But, because he did not take a decision, you have at least 180 million people in this country alone who do not like us.
>
> When I was the Army Chief, I would go along to a formation, ask the fellow what have you done about this and I normally got an answer, "Sir, I have been thinking... I have not yet made up my mind," and I coined a Manekshawism. If the girls will excuse my language, it was if you must be a bloody fool - be one quickly'. So remember that you are the ones who are going to be the future senior staff officers, the future commanders. Make a decision and having made it, accept full responsibility for it. Do not pass it on to a colleague or subordinate.
>
>
> xt for leadership? Absolute Honesty, fairness and justice - we are dealing with people. Those of us who have had the good fortune of commanding hundreds and thousands of men know this. No man likes to be punished, and yet a man will accept punishment stoically if he knows that the punishment meted out to him will be identical to the punishment meted out to another person who has some Godfather somewhere. This is very, very important. No man likes to be superseded, and yet men will accept super cession if they know that they are being superseded, under the rules, by somebody who is better then they are but not just somebody who happens to be related to the Commandant of the staff college or to a Cabinet Minister or by the Field Marshal's wife's current boyfriend. This is extremely important, Ladies and Gentlemen.
>
> We in India have tremendous pressures- pressures from the Government, pressures from superior officers, pressures from families, pressures from wives, uncles, aunts, nieces, nephews and girlfriends, and we lack the courage to withstand those pressures. That takes me to the next attribute of Leadership- Moral and Physical Courage.
>
>
> Ladies and Gentlemen, I do not know which of these is more important. When I am talking to young officers and young soldiers, I should place emphasis on physical courage. But since I am talking to this gathering, I will lay emphasis on Moral Courage. What is moral courage? Moral courage is the ability to distinguish right from wrong and having done so, say so when asked, irrespective of what your superiors might think or what your colleagues or your subordinates might want. A yes man' is a dangerous man. He may rise very high, he might even become the Managing Director of a company. He may do anything but he can never make a leader because he will be used by his superiors, disliked by his colleagues and despised by his subordinates. So shallow- the yes man'.
>
>
> I am going to illustrate from my own life an example of moral courage. In 1971, when Pakistan clamped down on its province, East Pakistan, hundreds and thousands of refugees started pouring into India. The Prime Minister, Mrs. Gandhi had a cabinet meeting at ten o'clock in the morning. The following attended: the Foreign Minister, Sardar Swaran Singh, the Defence Minister, Mr. Jagjivan Ram, the Agriculture Minister, Mr. Fakhruddin Ali Ahmed, the Finance Minister, Mr. Yashwant Rao, and I was also ordered to be present.
>
> Ladies and Gentlemen, there is a very thin line between becoming a Field Marshal and being dismissed. A very angry Prime Minister read out messages from Chief Ministers of West Bengal, Assam and Tripura. All of them saying that hundreds of thousands of refugees had poured into their states and they did not know what to do. So the Prime Minister turned round to me and said: "I want you to do something".
>
> I said, "What do you want me to do?"
> She said, "I want you to enter East Pakistan".
> I said, "Do you know that that means War?"
> She said, "I do not mind if it is war".
> I, in my usual stupid way said, "Prime Minister, have you read the Bible? "And the Foreign Minister, Sardar Swaran Singh (a Punjabi Sikh), in his Punjabi accent said, "What has Bible got to do with this?", and I said, "the first book, the first chapter, the first paragraph, the first sentence, God said, let there be light'' and there was light. You turn this round and say let there be war' and there will be war. What do you think? Are you ready for a war? Let me tell you -"it's 28th April, the Himalayan passes are opening now, and if the Chinese gave us an ultimatum, I will have to fight on two fronts".
>
>
> Again Sardar Swaran Singh turned round and in his Punjabi English said, "Will China give ultimatum?"
> I said, "You are the Foreign Minister. You tell me".
> Then I turned to the Prime Minister and said, "Prime Minister, last year you wanted elections in West Bengal and you did not want the communists to win, so you asked me to deploy my soldiers in penny pockets in every village, in every little township in West Bengal. I have two divisions thus deployed in sections and platoons without their heavy weapons. It will take me at least a month to get them back to their units and to their formations. Further, I have a division in the Assam area, another division in Andhra Pradesh and the Armoured Division in the Jhansi-Babina area. It will take me at least a month to get them back and put them in their correct positions. I will require every road, every railway train, every truck, every wagon to move them. We are harvesting in the Punjab, and we are harvesting in Haryana; we are also harvesting in Uttar Pradesh. And you will not be able to move your harvest.
>
> I turned to the Agriculture Minister, Mr. Fakhruddin Ali Ahmed, "If there is a famine in the country afterwards, it will be you to blame, not me." Then I said, "My Armoured Division has only got thirteen tanks which are functioning."
>
> The Finance Minister, Mr. Chawan, a friend of mine, said, "Sam, why only thirteen?"
> "Because you are the Finance Minister. I have been asking for money for the last year and a half, and you keep saying there is no money. That is why." Then I turned to the Prime Minister and said, "Prime Minister, it is the end of April. By the time I am ready to operate, the monsoon will have broken in that East Pakistan area. When it rains, it does not just rain, it pours. Rivers become like oceans. If you stand on one bank, you cannot see the other and the whole countryside is flooded. My movement will be confined to roads, the Air Force will not be able to support me, and, if you wish me to enter East Pakistan, I guarantee you a hundred percent defeat."
> "You are the Government", I said turning to the Prime Minister, "Now will you give me your orders?"Ladies and Gentlemen, I have seldom seen a woman so angry, and I am including my wife in that. She was red in the face and I said, "Let us see what happens". She turned round and said, "The cabinet will meet four o'clock in the evening".
> Everyone walked out. I being the junior most man was the last to leave. As I was leaving, she said, "Chief, please will you stay behind?" I looked at her. I said, "Prime Minister, before you open your mouth, would you like me to send in my resignation on grounds of health, mental or physical?"
> "No, sit down, Sam. Was everything you told me the truth?"
> "Yes, it is my job to tell you the truth. It is my job to fight and win, not to lose."
> She smiled at me and said, "All right, Sam. You know what I want. When will you be ready?"
> "I cannot tell you now, Prime Minister", I said, but let me guarantee you this that if you leave me alone, allow me to plan, make my arrangements, and fix a date, I guarantee you a hundred percent victory".
>
> So, Ladies and Gentlemen, as I told you, there is a very thin line between becoming a Field Marshal and being dismissed. Just an example of moral courage. Now, those of you who remembered what happened in 1962, when the Chinese occupied the Thag-la ridge and Mr. Nehru, the Prime Minister, sent for the Army Chief, in the month of December and said, "I want you to throw the Chinese out". That Army Chief did not have the Moral courage to stand up to him and say, "I am not ready, my troops are not acclimatized, I haven't the ammunition, or indeed anything". But he accepted the Prime Minister's instructions, with the result that the Army was beaten and the country humiliated.
> Remember, moral courage. You, the future senior staff officers and commanders will be faced with many problems. People will want all sorts of things. You have got to have the moral courage to stand up and tell them the facts. Again, as I told you before, a yes man' is a despicable man.
>
> This takes me to the next attribute: Physical courage. Fear, like hunger and sex, is a natural phenomenon. Any man who says he is not frightened is a liar or a Gorkha. It is one thing to be frightened. It is quite another to show fear. If you once show fear in front of your men, you will never be able to command. It is when your teeth are chattering, your knees are knocking and you are about to make your own geography- that is when the true leader comes out!
>
> I am sorry but I am going to illustrate this with another example from my own life. I am not a brave man. In fact, I am a terribly frightened man. My wife and I do not share the same bedroom. "Why?" you will ask. Because she says I snore. Although I have told her, No, I don't. No other woman has ever complained".
> I am not a brave man. If I am frightened, I am frightened of wild animals, I am frightened of ghosts and spirits and so on. If my wife tells me a ghost story after dinner, I cannot sleep in my room, and I have to go to her room. I have often wondered why she tells me these ghost stories periodically.
>
> In World War II, my battalion, which is now in Pakistan, was fighting the Japanese. We had a great many casualties. I was commanding Charlie Company, which was a Sikh Company. The Frontier Force Regiment in those days had Pathan companies. I was commanding the Sikh Company, young Major Manekshaw. As we were having too many casualties, we had pulled back to reorganize, re-group, make up our casualties and promotions.
>
> The Commanding Officer had a promotion conference. He turned to me and said, "Sam, we have to make lots of promotions. In your Sikh company, you have had a lot of casualties. Surat Singh is a senior man. Should we promote him to the rank of Naik?" Now, Surat Singh was the biggest Badmaash in my company. He had been promoted twice or three times and each time he had to be marched up in front of the Colonel for his stripes to be taken off. So I said, "No use, Sir, promoting Surat Singh. You promote him today and the day after tomorrow, I will have to march him in front of you to take his stripes off". So, Surat Singh was passed over. The promotion conference was over, I had lunch in the Mess and I came back to my company lines. Now, those of you who have served with Sikhs will know that they are very cheerful lot- always laughing, joking and doing something. When I arrived at my company lines that day, it was quite different, everybody was quiet. When my second-in-command, Subedar Balwant Singh, met me I asked him, "What has happened, Subedar Sahib?" He said, "Sahib, something terrible has happened. Surat Singh felt slighted and has told everybody that he is going to shoot you today".
> Surat Singh was a light machine gunner, and was armed with a pistol. His pistol had been taken away, and Surat Singh has been put under close arrest. I said, "All right, Sahib. Put up a table, a soap box, march Surat Singh in front of me". So he was marched up. The charge was read out- threatening to shoot his Commanding officer whilst on active service in the theatre of war'. That carries the death penalty. The witnesses gave their evidence. I asked for Surat Singh's pistol which was handed to me. I loaded it, rose from my soap box, walked up to Surat Singh, handed the pistol to him then turned round and told him, "You said you will shoot me". I spoke to him in Punjabi naturally. I told him, "Have you got the guts to shoot me? Here, shoot me". He looked at me stupidly and said, "Nahin, Sahib, galtee ho gayaa". I gave him a tight slap and said, "Go out, case dismissed".
> I went around the company lines, the whole company watching what was happening. I walked around, chatted to the people, went to the Mess in the evening to have a drink, and have my dinner, but when I came back again Sardar Balwant Singh said, "Nahin Sahib, you have made a great mistake. Surat Singh will shoot you tonight".
> I said, "Bulao Surat Singh ko".
> He came along. I said, "Surat Singh, aj rat ko mere tambu par tu pehra dega, or kal subah 6 bjay, mere liye aik mug chai aur aik mug shaving water lana". Then I walked into my little tent.
>
> Ladies and Gentlemen, I did not sleep the whole night. Next morning, at six o'clock, Surat Singh brought me a mug of tea and a mug of shaving water, thereafter, throughout the war, Surat Singh followed me like a puppy. If I had shown fear in front of my men, I should never have been able to command. I was frightened, terribly frightened, but I dared not show fear in front of them. Those of you, who are going to command soldiers, remember that. You must never show fear.So much for physical courage, but, please believe me, I am still a very frightened man. I am not a brave man.
>
> What comes next? The next attribute of leadership is loyalty. Ladies and Gentlemen, you all expect loyalty. Do we give loyalty? Do we give loyalty to our subordinates, to our colleagues? Loyalty is a three way thing. You expect loyalty, you must therefore, give loyalty to your colleagues and to your subordinates. Men and women in large numbers can be very difficult, they can cause many problems and a leader must deal with them immediately and firmly. Do not allow any non sense, but remember that men and women have many problems. They get easily despondent, they have problems of debt, they have problems of infidelity- wives have run away or somebody has an affair with somebody. They get easily crestfallen, and a leader must have the gift of the gab with a sense of humor to shake them out of their despondence. Our leaders, unfortunately, our "so-called" leaders, definitely have the gift of the gab, but they have no sense of humor. So, remember that.
>
> Finally, for leadership; men and women like their leader to be a man, with all the manly qualities or virtues. The man who says, "I do not smoke, I do not drink, I do not (No, I will not say it)', does not make a leader. Let me illustrate this from examples from the past. You will agree that Julius Caesar was a great leader- he had his Calphurnia, he had his Antonia, he also had an affair with Cleopatra and, when Caesar used to come to Rome, the Senators locked up their wives. And you will agree that he was a great leader. He was known in Rome as every woman's husband and he was a great leader. Take Napoleon, he had his Josephine, he had his Marie Walewska, he had his Antoinette and Georgettes and Paulettes. And you will agree he was a great leader. Take the Duke of Wellington- do you know that the night before the battle of Waterloo, there were more Countesses, Marchionesses and other women in his ante-chamber than staff officers and Commanders. And you will agree he was a great leader. Do you know, Ladies and Gentlemen, a thought has just struck me. All these leaders- Caesar, Napoleon and the Duke of Wellington- they had one facial feature in common, all had long noses.
> So much, Ladies and Gentlemen, for leadership, but no amount of leadership will do this country much good. Yes, it will improve things, but what this country needs is discipline. We are the most ill-disciplined people in the world. You see what is happening- you go down the road, and you see people relieving themselves by the roadside. You go into town, and people are walking up and down the highway, while vehicles are discharging all sorts of muck. Every time you pick up a newspaper, you read of a scam or you read of some other silly thing. As we are the most ill-disciplined people in the world, we must do something about discipline.
>
> What is discipline? Please, when I talk of discipline, do not think of military discipline. That is quite different. Discipline can be defined as conduct and behavior for living decently with one another in society. Who lays down the code of conduct for that? Not the Prime Minister, not the Cabinet, nor superior officers. It is enshrined in our holy books; it is in the Bible, the Torah and in the Vedas, it is in the teachings of Nanak and Mohammad. It has come down to us from time immemorial, from father to son, from mother to child. Nowhere is it laid down, except in the Armed Forces, that lack of punctuality is conduct prejudicial to discipline and decent living.
> I will again tell you a little story about that. Some years ago, my wife and I were invited to convocation at a university. I was asked to be there at four o'clock. I got into the staff car with my wife, having chased her from about eleven o'clock in the morning. Don't forget, darling, you have got to be on time. Get properly dressed; you have to leave at such and such time'. Eventually, I got her into the car. I told the driver, "Thoda aayisthe, thoda jaldi", but we got to the university and the convocation address place at four o'clock. We were received by the Vice Chancellor and his Lady. We were taken into the convocation hall, and the Vice Chancellor asked me to get on the platform, asking my wife to do so, too. She gracefully declined, and said she much rather sit down below as she seldom had an opportunity of looking up to her husband. Anyway, on the platform, the Vice Chancellor sang my praises. As usual there were 2000 boys and girls who had come for the convocation. There were deans of university, and professors and lecturers. Then he asked me to go to the lectern and address the gathering. I rose to do so and he said (sotto voce), Field Marshal, a fortnight ago we invited a VIP from Delhi for the same function. He was allowed to stand on the same lectern for exactly twenty seconds. I wish you luck. "I said to myself, had the Vice Chancellor mentioned this in his letter of invitation, I wonder, if I should have accepted.
>
> Anyway, I reached the lectern, and I addressed the gathering for my allotted time of forty minutes. I was heard in pin drop silence, and at the end of my talk, was given terrific ovation. The Vice Chancellor and his lady, the Dean, the professors and lecturers, the boys and girls, and even my own wife, standing up and giving me an ovation. After the convocation was over, we walked into the gardens to have refreshments. And I, having an eye for pretty girls, walked up to a pert little thing wearing a pair of tight fitting jeans and a body hugging blouse, and I started a conversation with her. I said, "My dear, why were you so kind to me, I not being an orator nor having the looks of Amitabh Bachhan, when only the other day you treated a VIP from Delhi so shamefully". This pert little thing had no inhibitions. She turned round and said, and I quote, "Oh, that a dreadful man! We asked him to come at four o'clock. He came much later and that too accompanied with a boy and a girl, probably his grand children. He was received by the Vice Chancellor and his lady and taken to the platform. He was garlanded by the Student Union President, and he demanded garlands for those brats too. So, the Union President diverged with the garland that was meant for the Vice Chancellor and gave it to the brats. Then the Vice Chancellor started singing the worthy's praises. Whilst he was doing so, this man hitched up his dhoti, exposing his dirty thighs, and scratched away. Then the Vice Chancellor said, "This man has done so much for the country, he has even been to jail". And I nearly shouted out, He should be there now'. Anyway, when the Vice Chancellor asked him to come to the lectern and address the convocation, he got up, walked to the lectern and addressed us thus, Boys and girls, I am a very busy man. I have not had time to prepare my speech but, I will now read out the speech my secretary has written'. We did not let him stand there. Without exception, the whole lot of us stood and booed him off the stage."
>
> Now, you see, Ladies and Gentleman, what I mean by discipline. Had this man as his position warranted come on time at four o'clock, fully prepared and properly turned out, can you imagine the good it would have done to these 2000 young girls and boys? Instead of that, his act of indiscipline engendered further indiscipline. I thanked my lucky stars, having been in the Army for so many years, that I arrived there on time, that I had come properly dressed, that I didn't wear a dhoti to show my lovely legs, that I didn't exacerbate an itch or eczema, to hurt the susceptibilities of my audience, by indulging in the scratching of the unmentionables.
>
> Now, Ladies and Gentleman, you understand what I mean by discipline. We are the most ill-disciplined people in the world. So far, all of you have been very, very disciplined. Will you bear with me for another two minutes? Having talked about leadership, having talked about discipline, I want to mention something about Character. We Indians also lack character. Do not misunderstand me, when I talk of character. I don't mean just being honest, truthful, and religious, I mean something more- Knowing yourself, knowing your own faults, knowing your own weaknesses and what little character that we have, our friends, our fans, the yes-men' around us and the sycophants, help us reduce that character as well. Let me illustrate this by an example:
>
> Some years ago, Hollywood decided to put up the picture of great violinist and composer, Paganini. The part of Paganini was given to a young actor who was conversant, somewhat, with the violin. He was drilled and tutored to such an extent that when the little piece, the Cadenza, was filmed, it was perfect. When the film was shown, the papers raved about it, and the critics raved about it. And this man's fans, yes-men', sycophants, kept on telling him that he was as good a violinist as Heifetz or Menuhin. And do you know that I took eight months in a psychiatric home to rid him of his delusion?
> Do you know, Commandant, that the same thing happened to me? After the 1971 conflict with Pakistan, which ended in thirteen days and I took 93000 prisoners, my fans, the yes-men' around me, the sycophants, kept on comparing me to Rommel, to Field Marshal Alexander, to Field Marshal Auchinleck, and just as I was beginning to believe it, the Prime Minister created me a Field Marshal and sent me packing to the Nilgiris. A hard-headed, non-nonsense wife deprived a psychiatric home (what we in India call a lunatic asylum), of one more inmate. I thank you very much indeed. Thank you.
> Question: In 1962 war, what was your appointment, were you in a position to do something about the situation?
> FM: In the 1962 war, I was disgrace. I was a Commandant of this Institution.
> Mr. Krishna Menon, the Defence Minister, disliked me intensely. General Kaul, who was Chief of General Staff at the time, and the budding man for the next higher appointment, disliked me intensely. So, I was in disgrace at the Staff College. There were charges against me - I will enumerate some of them - all engineered by Mr. Krishna Menon.
> I do not know if you remember that in 1961 or 1960, General Thimayya was the Army Chief. He had fallen out with Mr. Krishna Menon and had sent him his resignation. The Prime Minister, Mr. Nehru, persuaded General Thimayya to withdraw his resignation. The members of Parliament also disliked Mr. Krishna Menon, and they went hammer and tongs for the Prime Minister in Parliament.
> The Prime Minister made the following statement, "I cannot understand why General Thimayya is saying that the Defence Ministry interferes with the working of the Army. Take the case of General Manekshaw. The Selection Board has approved his promotion to Lieutenant General, over the heads of 23 other officers. The Government has accepted that."
> I was the Commandant of the Staff College. I had been approved for promotion to Lieutenant General. Instead of making me the Lieutenant General, Mr. Krishna Menon levied charges against me. There were ten charges, I will enumerate only one or two of them - that I am more loyal to the Queen of England than to the President of India, that I am more British than Indian. That I have been alleged to have said that I will have no instructor in the Staff College whose wife looks like an ayah. These were the sort of charges against me.
> For eighteen months my promotion was held back. An enquiry was made. Three Lieutenant Generals, including an Army Commander, sat at the inquiry. I was exonerated on every charge. The file went up to the Prime Minister who sent it up to the Cabinet Secretary, who wrote on the file, if anything happens to General Manekshaw, this case will go will down as the Dreyfus case.' So the file came back to the Prime Minister. He wrote on it, "Orders may now issue", meaning I will now become a Lieutenant General. Instead of that, Ladies and Gentleman, I received a letter from the Adjutant General saying that the Defence Minister, Mr. Krishna Menon, has sent his severe displeasure to General Manekshaw, to be recorded. I had it in the office where the Commandant now sits. I sent that letter back to the Adjutant General saying what Mr. Krishna Menon could do with his displeasure, very vulgarly stated. It is still in my dossier.
> Then the Chinese came to my help. Krishna Menon was sacked, Kaul was sacked and Nehru sent for me. He said, "General, I have a vigorous enemy. I find out that you are a vigorous General. Will you go and take over?"
> I said, "I have been waiting eighteen months for this opportunity," and I went and took over.
> So, your question was 1962, and what part did I play, none whatsoever, none whatsoever.
> I was here for eighteen months, persecuted, inquisitions against me but we survive...I rather like the Chinese.
> Question: The Army has changed and progressed. Do you find any difference in the mental makeup of the young officers compared to your time?
> FM: Over the years, things have changed... there is a lot of difference, dear. In my time, my father used to support me until I became a Lieutenant Colonel. I used to get an allowance to be able to live. Today, the young officer has not only to keep himself but has to send money home.
> In my time, we did not have all these courses. The only course I ever did, (of course, we had the four rounds of courses that every officer had to do), but we had mules there so I had to do a course in training mountain mules. Today the young officer hardly stays in his regiment. He is sent from one place to another to do this course and that course, and he does not get a chance of knowing his men.We knew our men. Also there wasn't so much work in those days. We got up in the mornings, did Physical Training for half an hour , came back ,dressed, had breakfast , then went to our company lines and spent all our time avoiding the Commanding Officer.
> Those Commanding Officers were nasty chaps. They did not give a damn for anybody. I will give an example of the Commanding Officer. I was made quartermaster of my battalion. The Commanding Officer sent for the Adjutant and myself. He said, I want to take the battalion out tomorrow morning for an exercise. "We did not have motor cars, we had to indent for mules, so, I as quartermaster intended for a company of mules. He said we were going to leave for the exercise at 6:30, so I ordered the company of mules to arrive at six. At eleven o'clock at night, the commanding officer changed his mind. He said, "I will not go at 6:30, we will go at nine o'clock. "There was nothing I could do. I got on my bicycle, went off to the lines, where the mules had arrived. I told them to unsaddle, and go into the shade, when who should arrive on a horse but the Cavalry Officer with his daughter!
> I touched my hat. He said, "What are those animals doing here, young man?" I said that we were going out on an exercise.
> "When are you going?"
> "Nine o'clock."
> He tore strips off me - "going at nine o'clock and you have the animals waiting here at six o'clock". He was riding with his daughter on a horse. What could I say to a General officer, I had two pips on my shoulder. Suddenly, who should be coming on a bicycle, but the Commanding Officer! He touched his hat, said, "Morning, General."
> Turning to me, he said, "What is the matter, Sam?"
> I said, "Sir, the General is angry with me because we are going out at nine o'clock and the mules are here at six."
> He turned round to face the General, and said, I will thank you General to know who commands this regiment. Me, and not this young man. I will not have you ticketing him off in front of your daughter."
> He turned back to me and said, "Have you had your breakfast, Sam?"
> "No."
> "Go along. Have your breakfast."
> I was delighted to go off. But when we came back from the exercise, at about eight o'clock in the evening, in my letter rack, was a letter from the General's wife, inviting me to tea the next day. Now, I did not want to have tea with the General's wife! But that's the sort of thing that happens.
> When I became the Field Marshal, I was the guest of her majesty in England. I had given a reception at India House, where the Commanding Officer with his wife were also invited. He came in, shook hands with my wife, shook hands with me, and walked off. Everybody was drinking. After about half an hour, when everybody had arrived, I walked up tohim with a glass of whisky in my hand, and he turned round to me, "May I call you Sam?"
> "Please do, Sir. You used to call me bloody fool' before. I thought that was my Christian name!"
> The difference between the officer now and then - my first confidential report written by him. Before you went in to sign your confidential report, you had to go in front of the Adjutant, beautifully turned out. We did not have any medals in those days. We had to have a sword to go into the CO's office then. I walked in there, saluted the Adjutant, he looked me up and down and said, "You are going to see the Colonel, now? Look at you! Your bloody strap is filthy dirty, look at your belt, it is disgusting. Go on, go and get dressed." I walked out, waited for five minutes and came back.
> He looked me up and down, "Much better."
> Then he said, "You are going in there. Do you have a fountain pen?"
> I said, "Yes."
> "The CO will read your report. You will initial on the left hand corner. Is that understood?"
> "Yes."
> I walked in there, saluted the Colonel, "Mr. Manekshaw reporting, Sir."
> He looked me up and down, thrust the report on me online - "This officer, I beg his pardon, this man, may someday become an officer."
> I initialed it and walked out.
> Khalid Sheikh, another officer from my regiment, who became the Foreign Minister of Pakistan and a Governor there, came out. "Khalid, what report have you got?" I said. He said "This officer tends to be irresponsible". I said, "That's a bad report, Khalid." He said, Uh! Last year the bugger said I was irresponsible."
> But we did not mind. Today, if the Commanding Officer writes and says this officer is irresponsible, the officer wants to appeal to the President of India saying he is more responsible than the Commanding Officer.
> That was the difference, dear. We simply did not give a cuss.
> Anything else?

> Thank you Gentlemen, thank you for your kindness. Thank you for your patience and your discipline. I am delighted to see you all here
-

Chapter 86

That which cannot be expressed by speech, but by which speech is expressed"That alone know as Brahman and not that which people here worship. That which cannot be apprehended by the mind, but by which, they say, the mind is apprehended"That alone know as Brahman and not that which people here worship. That which cannot be perceived by the eye, but by which the eye is perceived"That alone know as Brahman and not that which people here worship. That which cannot he heard by the ear, but by which the hearing is perceived"That alone know as Brahman and not that which people here worship. Kena Upanishad.


"Don't walk behind me; I may not lead. Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend." Albert Camus

soul beats

The tall man walked slowly for he knew the girl would not be able to keep up with his long strides.he felt strangely content with her besides him and deep in his soul knew that she had some vital part to play in his life.But he also knew that she was bound to him in various other levels and rather than persuade her to leave him to his lonely path,he let her walk besides him.He wondered about thenmozhi and what she was doing.
He felt a disturbance whenever he thought about her but had brushed it aside reasoning to himself that all that had taken place in the past few weeks were making him overly cautious.

Malar walked quietly besides azhagan and yet not missing a beat and taking in all that was going on in his face and the way his body twitched sometimes.She knew as any woman knows that some other woman, a mighty queen ruled his heart and it did not hurt her or make her hate him.Malar knew that he deserved a queen by his side rather than a simple and ordinary looking woman like her who called the forest her home.But her instincts told her that his path was her path and that her place was by his side.She wondered what the future would bring but she was happy to be by his side for more than anything she was drawn by his aura and the love he vibrated.

Azhagan stopped " malar,this is as far as you can come with me for tommorrow morning i will climb the mountains and go down into the valley of Sairandhri vanam.The place i will be going to is bound and guarded by strong barriers and so i don't want you to recklessly follow me and get hurt.we will rest here tonight and i want you to return back to the safety of your village.i will not be at peace until i know you are safe for i have many questions in my mind that need answering and i want my total concentration and energy focussed on it.Do you understand what and why i am telling you all this ? "

Malar sat next to him and nodded yes. " beautiful and mighty warrior,i am thankful that you have let me be besides you for all this while.But i will not return back to the village for my soul cries to me not to leave your side until destiny tells us differently.i will stay here and make this place my home.I am not scared to be alone for the forest has been my home from the time i was able to walk.so,please go ahead with your journey without worrying about me for i will be okay."

The sun sank and dropped out of sight in the direction of the west.Both of them ate some fruits that they had gathered and drank some water from a nearby waterfall and settled under a huge tree for the night.With azhagan by her side malar knew it was not necessary for her to light a fire to scare of the predators that roamed the forest and the foothills and soon drifted of into a deep sleep.

It was nearing midnight and slowly azhagan got up and walked into the darkness and standing there sent his senses in all directions for a few seconds.A few minutes later the forest floor crackled as small dry twigs and leaves were stepped on by soft pads of a the huge cat.the king of the jungle stepped forward and came to face azhagan.

Azhagan looked at the huge lion and whispered " you were my friend and yet i let you down and could not be there when you fought to save the village and died for my sake.will you forgive me for my sin of leaving you alone."

the lion raised a huge paw and swatted azhagan playfully.

Azhagan " i will be leaving malar in your care.please look after her for me until i come back.can you do that for me."

the lion coughed a growl and the stars twinkled in its eyes.


Malar quietly watched the mighty warrior talk to the lion and she marvelled at this power of his to befriend the wild animals of the jungle.Her soul told her that he was trying to watch out for her by requesting the lion and other animals to guard her when he went away seeking what ever that he was trying to reach and attain.

Azhagan slowly slipped back and tried to sleep and a few minutes later heard malar slowly coming to his side and snuggling up to his back.He smiled and drifted off into a deep and dreamless sleep.

The man and woman slept as pure souls under the night sky with the forest as their roof.


"I could not tell you if I loved you the first moment I saw you, or if it was the second or third or fourth. But I remember the first moment I looked at you walking toward me and realized that somehow the rest of the world seemed to vanish when I was with you." Cassandra Clare, Clockwork Prince

Chapter 87


"Ends are not bad things, they just mean that something else is about to begin. And there are many things that don't really end, anyway, they just begin again in a new way. Ends are not bad and many ends aren't really an ending; some things are never-ending." ? C. JoyBell C.


Doors,doorways,goodbyes although just a temporary parting always leave me hurting and weak at my knees.Maybe this is why i avoid deep and meaningful relationships and friendships for i have seen many doors close in my life,many souls leave with their parting a wound that never heals.Sometimes i wonder and even dare ask people close to me why,why they still persist with my madnesss and maladies and they say even i need love and protection and even i need a shoulder though i walk away trying to be bold and courageous.
It is a strange case of mental disease when one can stand and fight for others and the world and just cannot stand up for himself.I wonder how they will classify or term this state of mind.



A new day,A new path down the mountain


They stood on top of the mountain,on top of the world with the rising sun drenching them with its tender morning light.The cool of the mountain top brought relief to their warm sweating skins and both stood loking down the path into the dark of the valley that would take Azhagan to the place he was going.

Azhagan turned to Malar and looked at her with gentle eyes and they conveyed how much he liked her.Malar softly reached for his hands and kissed them tenderly " my being is on fire,my heart is racing so fast that i fear it might burst its banks and this body and jump into your body.I have never felt this way and know that i will never feel this way again.It is only when you are around,it is only when your thoughts fill my mind and dreams i feel this strange madness.I realise i am a woman when your eyes fall on me and when your form fills my eyes."

Malar pulled his head down and still standing on her toes kissed him fully on his mouth and Azhagan responded without even knowing that he was doing so.Both moaned in the pleasure that their kissing brought them and it was azhagan who gently pushed her away.

" Malar,i don't have to tell you this for i know that you know that there is someone else in my heart and in my life."

She looked at him sadly and nodded " i know and i respect you more for taking advantage of me though i wouldn't mind being taken advantage of.But times change,people change,situations change so i will wait in hope that the changes are good for me.Please come back soon and remember that i will not leave the forest and this place until you come back."

Azhagan said okay and started walking down the mountain side and minute after minute his tall form slowly faded and soon vanished into the darkness of the forest that covered the valley.

Malar slowly sank on top of the mountain and the tears flowed uncontrollably down her cheeks and breasts.


How can I just let you walk away, just let you leave without a trace
When I stand here taking every breath with you,
You're the only one who really knew me at all

How can you just walk away from me,
when all I can do is watch you leave
Cos we've shared the laughter and the pain and even shared the tears
You're the only one who really knew me at all

So take a look at me now, oh there's just an empty space
And there's nothing left here to remind me,
just the memory of your face
take a look at me now, well there's just an empty space
And you coming back to me is against all odds and that's what I've got to face

I wish I could just make you turn around,
turn around and see me cry
There's so much I need to say to you,
so many reasons why
You're the only one who really knew me at all

But to wait for you, is all I can do and that's what I've got to face
Take a good look at me now, cos I'll still be standing here
And you coming back to me is against all odds
It's the chance I've gotta take

Take a look at me now


Phil collins "Against All Odds (Take A Look At Me Now)"


"God is going to send you someone that will rescue you. Then one day you will rescue them in return and together your story will rescue others. He has always been a God of rescues and a maker of warrior's for his grace. You only need to believe that you are part of something greater than you know." Shannon L. Alder

Chapter 88

"I no longer believed in the idea of soul mates, or love at first sight. But I was beginning to believe that a very few times in your life, if you were lucky, you might meet someone who was exactly right for you. Not because he was perfect, or because you were, but because your combined flaws were arranged in a way that allowed two separate beings to hinge together." Lisa Kleypas, Blue-Eyed Devil

A new day,a new beginning


The head of the pandyan race,Kulashekaran pandyan sat erect as the assistants of his personal physician rubbed exotic looking and yet foul smelling oils into his shoulders and arms.The mighty stroke that had paralysed him was a distant memory and the coming of azhagan had rejuvenated the great man and he had started living as if he had found a new purpose.After everyone had left,the king sat in silence and contemplated all that had happened and his soul moved his eyes to shed tears as he thought about The mighty kulothungan cholan and how he had taken his own life to bring justice to Azhagan and to the people of perumalvaram.

Kulashekaran thought " what a great man,what a great warrior.i now wish i had been born as a chola so i could lived under his rule and served him in some capacity."

Lost in thoughts about the good and bad in life he failed to hear his names being called out and looking up saw the head of his personal guard standing with his head bowed in reverence.

Kulashekaran looked at him in anger and in irritation " even the king himself cannot get a moment of peace and quiet for himself.I should have given up all this and left with azhagan on whatever journey he was making.Yes,what is it."

The guard fell to his knees and begged for forgiveness " my king,my lord, i would not have dared to disturb you unless it was very important.but the two people who are waiting outside your chambers insisted that you receive them and i did not have the courage or authority to say no to them.Still,i am here to ask permission for them to enter and see you."

King kulashekaran pandyan " who are these two people that you could not refuse when i the king am here and whose word is the final authority.speak now,have lord shiva and his consort shakti come personally to see me.if so,send them in."

The guard confused and scared " if it had been god himself,i might have not disturbed you and would have asked them to wait until you were ready but then these two are,well,right now they are more than gods."

The king's lips quivered in a smile and in curiosity " what,who are these.send them in."

Kulashekran pandyan's body and face stiffened in shock and unease when he saw maravarman pandyan and thenmozhi enter his chambers together and with just one look knew that there was something different about both of them and that somehow their body language had changed.

Taking a deep breath,he looked at them and thought " east and west are not meant to be at one place and yet it looks like it is so."

King kulashekaran asked both maravarman and thenmozhi to sit down and looked at them " well,i know now why the guard could not refuse entry to you and hurried to me requesting permission,even though he knew i was not ready and i was not to be disturbed.The guard is a wise man for he knew better than angering the future king and the future chief of the counsel and risked the anger of the present king who he know will not be on the throne for a long time.tell me,my loved ones how can i be of help ?"


The glances that Thenmozhi and maravarman exchanged alerted kulashekaran and he braced himself for whatever they were about to say and looked at them calmly.

" One is my blood and the other is more than my blood.One will carry the crown and the other will carry this kingdom and yet both of those sit here before me as tiny tots who have by accident broken something precious.
Come now children,for you sit before your father and one who loves you more than his very life.so out with it,whatever that is tormenting your souls and let me see how i can be of help."


Marvarman pandyan mustering courage looked into the kings eyes " My lord,my father,my brother.Both me and thenmozhi have come to a decision and we need your blessings before we announce it to the world."

King kulashekaran's eyes shifted to Thenmozhi and back to maravarman pandyan and he nodded to him to go on.

maravarman pandyan " my king,me and thenmozhi have decided to get married and we want the marriage ceremony to take place immediately."


Far away,far,far away just as azhagan's feet touched the land of " Sairandhri vanam " he felt the disturbance again and he knew someone he cared was in great agony.He looked into the sun and threw his senses and soul out and it fanned out and the disturbance died down.


Maravarman's words were like daggers being shoved into his ears and soul for he knew immediately that a great wrong was about to be done,a great mistake that would have even greater and far reaching consequences.the lion that was king kulashekaran pandyan rose like a volcano and yet at that very instant when he was about to erupt in anger came the tender and gently caress of azhagan and his aura flashed and filled the mighty king.
The anger died down,the betrayal died down,the flames of righteous anger died down and only azhagan's sanity filled his soul.

Maravarman's senses could not pick up the subtle change that came over the king but thenmozhi saw the flicker of orange deep in kulashekaran's eyes.She wondered if her eyes were deluding her and her mind was playing illusions on her,making her see azhagan everywhere.

King kulashekaran pandyan looked at them calmly and spoke gently " are you sure ? "

Maravarman pandyan and thenmozhi nodded yes.


Kulashekaran bent his head in thought and slowly looked up and said " well then,i wish you the best and i hope you are happy together.i will announce this in the court tomorrow and will see to it that all arrangements are made quickly."

After both had left,Kulashekaran sat for a long time lost in thought and slowly sank into a deep,troubled sleep.

Tell me what to do
Now the light in my life is gone from me
Is it always the same
Is the night never ending

Tell me what to do
All the hopes and the dreams went wrong for me
There's a smile on my face
But I'm only pretending

Tell me what to do
Now there's nobody watching over me
If I seem to be calm
Well, it's all an illusion
Tell me what to do
When the fear of the night comes over me
There's a smile on my face
Just to hide the confusion

Taking my life
One day at a time
Cause I can't think what else to do
Taking some time
To make up my mind
When there's no one to ask but you

"The Same Old Sun" THE ALAN PARSONS PROJECT


Deciding to surrender himself to whatever Krishna advised, Arjun said,"O Krishna, I am confused about my duty and have lost all composure due to weakness of heart. Surely I am being consumed by miserly and selfish considerations, but I am not able to overcome them. In this condition I ask you to please tell me what is best for me. Now I am your disciple and a soul surrendered unto you. Please instruct me. I can see no means to drive away this grief. Even winning a prosperous kingdom equal to that of the gods will not assuage my sorrow. O Govinda, I will not fight."-Mahabharata, Book Six: Bhishma(Krishna Dharma)

Obsessed: crossing the river

Two traveling monks reached a river where they met a young woman. Wary of the current, she asked if they could carry her across. One of the monks hesitated, but the other quickly picked her up onto his shoulders, transported her across the water, and put her down on the other bank. She thanked him and departed. As the monks continued on their way, the one was brooding and preoccupied. Unable to hold his silence, he spoke out.

"Brother, our spiritual training teaches us to avoid any contact with women, but you picked that one up on your shoulders and carried her!"

"Brother," the second monk replied, "I set her down on the other side, while you are still carrying her."

All thoughts,opinions and comments,good or bad are welcomed and are welcome.

Hi Satish...sorry for the silence...
I'm busy with shifting and moving to my new apartment right now...
house is a mess with boxes everywhere...
internet is disconnected from my old residence...
and it will take a week or so for internet to be connected in the new place...
(oh, by the way, this post is sent via my little mobile phone!)
once the chaos settles down, I will write more next week!

Until then, just know that I officially hate Thenmozhi's character...
her incidental pregnancy should have been handled with more care as Azhagan remains the unborn child's father and he is being kept in the dark about this...
he loses everything while on quest of his spiritual journey.
Malar seems sweet but wasted...unless she does more than just wait for Azhagan's return.

I feel like I'm reading through a dark tunnel now...
because I just cannot see the light ahead for Azhagan!
But I shall keep my faith in you, the writer, and hope better times are ahead for the lead characters.

Well, that's where my thoughts on the story stand right now...
I'll write more after I settle down next week.
Until then, I will remain a silent reader...
and happily follow your story through my mobile phone!

By the way, I like your other short stories too.
I'm waiting to read part 2 of the love story (of the old couple and an old man) and I liked reading the above story of the two monks crossing the river.

Commendable work with your writing skills on the story...good job...

And last but not least, ALL THE BEST for your upcoming release of "Thani Oruvan"!
I think it's due to release end of this month...
advanced wishes to you for a noteworthy performance!!
Don't worry...we will definitely keep our fingers crossed for you and for your film's success!
Cheers!

Thank you doc.I hope the new home brings more of all that is best in this world for you and your family.

All of us are on a voyage,on a quest and each of us journey into the light in search of our meaning and destiny.Be it azhagan,be it thenmozhi,be it malar we have our choices to make and lives to lead.

A woman is not just a woman and she becomes more when she is a mother.love,lover,husband take a back seat and her priority is the child who is totally dependent on her for everything.

This story is not about one but all of us and the choices we make.dark now,dark later and yet somehow we make it to the light,in this voyage or some other.

I write for i am on my own quest and my stories are from my journey.Always remember that i,you and everyone have a bit of azhagan,thenmozhi,malar and importantly moorkan in us.
what takes centerstage and what comes out when time calls us out to action is what is important.

In the battle of kurukshetra,the pandavas won and yet many great souls died for the bad and the villians and in the end lord krishna said " good,bad,great,evil,everything is me.i am the light and i am also the dark.it is just a game,a marvelous and mysterious,unknown game.

so come play the game.