*From To Sathish* - Thread 3 - Page 118

Jannal oram 98


Raman a bit overwhelmed with the cheque that had been gifted to him by his client Anwaruddin looked up at his boss krishnaswamy iyer ' sir,i need to get my files regarding the ashok mehta case and go over some important details with you.So,excuse me while i go get it .'

Rohini watched raman exit the room and looked at her dad ' a man of many virtues and principles and it is really a miracle that he is in this profession,doing what he is doing.'

Krishnaswamy iyer nodded,acknowledging his daughter's observation ' true,and it is a miracle and i would say that he is in the right profession holding true to his ideals and virtues.Imagine the case if he was on the opposite side of the fence working for the big corporate companies,using his brains to twist and manipulate the laws of this land.'

Rohini getting up from her chair ' okay dad,i am off and i will say you later this evening and remember that we are having dinner together for i am off to Mumbai tomorrow morning.'

Rohini stepped out of her dad's room and her eyes searched for Raman and finding him at his desk,slowly walked towards him and placing her hands on the table leaned over him,facing him and ' i am off to Mumbai tomorrow morning and will be back later this week.'

Casting a look all over the office,Rohini leaned a bit closer ' dads birthday is around the corner.His 65th and i am planning a big,surprise bash at the Adyar boat club.I will be personally inviting everybody in our office and i am starting with you.'

Raman lips let loose a soft whistle ' 65 years.God,when i look at your dad,our boss,i only see a timeless,eternal character,an ironman and not somebody who is made of flesh and blood.'

Looking at her with an expression of gratitude 'Thank you rohini for the invitation and yes,i will be there.But i am kind of lost when it comes to buying a gift for him for none of us have ever interacted with him majorly on a personal level and come to think of it,i hardly know anything about him but what is known to the whole world.

Rohini ' Join the family raman for even i have no clue as to what makes him tick or what he is thinking.my dad is a bit of a weird character and he got even more weirder after mum passed away and has king of shut himself off from the world and its mundane pleasures and frowns on all things that are normal and that the rest of us take pleasure in.But,he too has a weakness,just one and that is, he loves ties and particularly those in the colors of red and blue.Gift him a set of ties and see the man behave like a puppy who has been gifted a meaty bone.'

Raman smiled and thanked rohini and carrying some files walked towards the room of mr.krishnaswamy iyer and then stopped and looking at rohini ' have a safe flight and see you back in chennai soon.'

The afternoon was spent going over some important cases and which included the one of Mr.shreekanth and his daughter and a case that was soon to have its day in the court.

It was nearly 6.00 pm when Raman slowly pulled up in front of the Broadway bus stop and Jeeva opening the door practically jumped into the car and quickly buckled herself up with the seat belt and then turned to look at him and both smiled and shared the smile only lovers can share.A private,precious smile that sets their hearts racing even if they are oceans apart on different continents for they know they are safe in each others souls and thoughts.

Raman gently ' Hi jeeva' and she looked at him ' i missed you so much that i was going mad and honestly if you hadn't come now,then i would have come in the middle of the night like a thief and entered your house,just to see you and hear you breathe.'

Jannal oram 99

The days between October to early February are the best days to be in Chennai for the oppressive heat and humidity of the summer has completely receded and the chennaites can look forward to a few months of pleasant and bearable days and nights.The brief and welcome showers that are the edges of the southwest monsoon that touch the western and northern parts of this sub-continent are like teasers and tantalising trailers of the monsoon that will come sometime between October and last until December.

The people of Tamil nadu watch with pangs of hope and ache as the southwest monsoon breaks cover and enters kerala and then slowly advances all over the western coast of India and into North India and wait for their very own life giving rains of the northeast monsoon that come with the pooja days and that usually starts with Navarathiri holidays followed by Vinayagar chaturthi and diwali and then it is christmas,new year and the true festival of tamil nadu,the pongal festival.

Jeeva got out of the car and carrying her slippers in her hands,sank her feet into the cool,slippery sand and delighted in the delicious feel of it and then wondering what was delaying raman in the car turned and saw him removing his shoes and socks and just as she began to wonder what was going on,he removed a brown colored box that had Metro shoes emblazoned on it from under the drivers seat and looking up ' i didn't want to ruin my formal leather shoes and since the marina beach is our regular haunt,i have come prepared for the sand and water.'

Then getting up he took the few steps towards jeeva and pulling her by her hand walked her back and made her sit in the driver's seat and bending down picked up another box of metro and removed a matching pair of slippers of her size and looked up into her eyes.

Kneeling on one knee,Raman slowly and gently removed the slippers from jeevas feet and she shivered with pleasure as his strong,rough and yet gentle hands grazed innocently and then not so innocently and then he slowly massaged her feet and jeeva groaned in the relief and pleasure that ran up her feet and into her brain
and with nearly drugged eyes she looked at him ' mister,you better promise me that you will massage my feet every night before i go to sleep' and raman with a naughty smile ' only your feet my lady and nothing else'
and jeeva ' well,okay,then you better promise me that you will massage my feet after you have finished with your other duties.


Both of them stood up and Ramanpulled her to him,one hand on her shapely backside and the other on the small of her back and roughly kissed her and they stayed kissing for a long time and pulling back ' it is the thought and not the gift that matters,ma'am and i only thought about the safety of your beautiful feet than stopping and worrying about what i was buying you or gifting for the first time.'

Holding hands,they walked,talked like lover do all over this universe and jeeva noticing raman carrying his black coat ' enna advocate sir,are you going to attend some case near the sea shore.'

Raman ' no ma'am, i am carrying my lovers protection when the night turns chilly and when the naughty breeze will begin to caress her exposed mid riff,chest and arms,regions that belong to me.so,i am carrying this coat so i can wrap it around you and protect you from the sea and air that might otherwise molest you with their evil ways.'

Jeeva smiled and throwing her right arm around his waist and leaning into his chest,inhaled with a sigh his manly fragrance and whispered ' my lover is a poet too among many other things.'

Raman looked down and bent and brushed his lips against hers ' you are the poet and i am just the song baby.It is you who gives me the power to sing,to fly,to live,to breathe and dream of heaven on earth.'


In the beginning I was just a shadow
In the beginning I was alone
In the beginning I was blind, living in a world devoid of light
In the beginning there was only night

I was shattered, left in pieces
And I felt so cold inside
Then I called you from the darkness
Where I hide

I am made of you
I am made of you
I am made of you
I am made of you

Here I am now, I can stand now
Cause your love has made me strong
And forever you're the singer
I'm the song

I am made of you
I am made of you
I am made of you
I am made of you


Alice Cooper "I Am Made Of You"

Jannal oram 100


"Some of the biggest challenges in relationships come from the fact that most people enter a relationship in order to get something: they're trying to find someone who's going to make them feel good. In reality, the only way a relationship will last is if you see your relationship as a place that you go to give, and not a place that you go to take.

Kamakshi had begun lighting the lamp near the entrance of the house every evening after suja her second daughter had arrived.But even that was once in a while and when she so desired.But,she began to light the lamp in the entrance of the house after Mani,her husband began to fall sick and from the time he retired.

She always began with her lips chanting the " Durga kavacham " and then she finished with the " Mahalakshmi mantra " and stood in the end praying for her daughters safe and happy future and also for the health of her ailing husband.

And today,as always Kamakshi adjusted the wick and pouring in some oil,lit the brass lamp adorned with the " Ashtalakshmi's" and stood chanting with her eyes closed and opening her eyes was surprised to see Raman's parents shaktivel and valli standing in front of her.

Flustered and a bit confused ,kamakshi immediately folded her hands and humbly welcomed them both into the house ' vaanga,vaanga,please come in and kindly excuse me if the house is in a bet of a mess.'

Shaktivel ' Mrs.manigandan,a house is supposed to be messy and lived in for we don't live in a hotel room for things to be neat and properly arranged.so,please don't feel bad for our house is far worse than this house.'

Manigandan slowly stood up on his arthritis ridden knees and welcomed the visitors with a warm smile and asked them to sit down and make themselves comfortable.

Kamakshi ran into the kitchen and soon came back carrying two small bowls filled with vegtable upma topped with a bit of kothumalli chutney and excitedly handed it to valliammai and shaktivel,who immediately began to gobble it up with ecstatic expressions and coos and aaahhhs.

Valliammai suddenly placed the bowl of upma on the table in front of them and grabbing kamakshi's hands,looked intently at both her palms and fingers and looking up at her and mani ' where is this gift,this miracle hidden and which helps you to make even an ordinary upma taste like a dish that has been made by the gods themselves.'

Kamakshi was tongue tied and was to overcome with shyness to reply to valliammai's question and softly ' Nothing like that valli,i just do the best that i can and i do it with my three children in my heart for they are my true miracles and gifts that god has bestowed upon me.'

Shaktivel ' amma,i don't know how happy raman is about jeeva and your family.But let me tell you that,we both are very excited to be a part of your family,not only because of the food but because of what great souls you are and how comfortable we feel in your presence.'

Then all four of them saw a familiar face on the television and all their jaws dropped because it was their raman with the very popular vijaya bhaskar,the ruling party minister's son.

Manigandan who had put the tv on mute,excitedly raised the volume and the tv blared and glared images of the wedding and kept repeating the clip where vijaya bhaskar ran excitedly towards raman and his parents and then hugging him with great love and they also showed the clip of vijay bending and touching raman's parents feet and both mani and kamakshi turned towards shakti and valli ' what is this shakti sir? when did all this happen
and isn't that the minister's son vijaya bhaskar?'


They found a slightly private spot near the shore where the waves just came up to their feet and sitting down both just drowned in the pleasure of being next to each other.

Jeeva elbowing raman ' so mister advocate,how was your day and how did the wedding go?'

Raman shrugging his shoulders ' just another wedding baby and it was no big deal,apart from the quality and priceless time i spent with my parents.But the afternoon sprung a surprise and gave a very happy ending to a case and to two families.That was really a privilege to hear and to also witness the happiness and enormous relief of my client and so the day started normally and finished up pretty awesome and it has gotten better,now that you are near me and there is nothing more better than this moment.'


Shaktivel looked at mani and kamakshi ' Other than the fact that they both knew each other in college,i am as much in the dark about this whole incident as you and your wife are.And you know raman,who just shrugged it off as something very ordinary and of no significance.'

Then edging closer to manigandan ' Sir,both me and valli are going to kanchipuram and maybe melmaruvathur amman temple and we wondered if you both could join us for it will be great and will make us both very happy.'

kamakshi nearly jumped out of the cane chair ' kanchipuram and mel maruvathur.I last visited kanchi before jeeva was born and i have never been to mel maruvathur kovil' and then looking at Mani suddenly fell silent.

Valliammai looked at the hesitating mani ' sir,i know what you are thinking and that you will be a burden for us with your condition.But if you don't mind me saying and please don't take it as an insult when i suggest that we use a wheel chair that is now made available in all temples and that will be less of a strain on your legs.'

Mani's eyes shone with tears and it was both because of his sorrow and also out of gratitude for raman's parents kind suggestion and then shaktivel gently placed his hand on his shoulder ' sir,we are not just in-laws but have now become great friends.So,please come with us without thinking or worrying too much about anything.'

Mani smiled ' how can i say no or refuse such a loving and kind offer? so,i will come along and no,i am not worried about my legs or the pain for i have the three of you to care for me.'

"Some think love can be measured by the amount of butterflies in their tummy. Others think love can be measured in bunches of flowers, or by using the words for ever.' But love can only truly be measured by actions. It can be a small thing, such as peeling an orange for a person you love because you know they don't like doing it.

Hearty CONGRATULATIONS for both completing 100 chapters of Jannal Oram and for being selected to play the lead role in MGR's biopic film, Satish!!👏

Jannal oram 101

When everything goes to hell, the people who stand by you without flinching,they are your family.


Time passes by so quickly when you are with someone you love,someone with whom you are comfortable,someone with whom you can be yourself without pretending to be anything or anyone else.

Jeeva had her head laid on his left part of his chest and the comfort of his arm around her shoulders and the warmth of his body and the strong,steady heartbeat slowly sang her to sleep and raman with a smile looked down at her and realised his lady was fast asleep and also gently snoring.

It was the most beautiful sight and sound that he had ever seen and heard and he realised that it was a privilige to be able to give so much comfort and love to another human being and that too to the woman he loved.

The chill air slowly lifted several strands of hair and a few tickled his nostrils when he gently placed his lips on her head and kissed it and sensing the kiss,jeeva opened her eye and realised that she had fallen asleep and still in his arm,she looked up at him and raman softly whispered ' i love you jeeva and you looked so peaceful and beautiful when you are fast asleep.'

Reaching with her left hand,she gently felt his cheeks and the evening stubble that had laid a carpet of green on them and then he bent his head and covered her lips with his and softly kissed her and the chill of the sea air and the pleasure of his lips made her shiver with emotions and she just drowned herself in his passion.

They slowly made their way across the cool,soft sand and reached the car and raman held up his hand indicating for her to stop and then opening the passenger door said ' get in without placing your feet on the mat' and jeeva nodding and going along with his wish,was taken aback when he reached to the back seat and taking out a hand towel,softly wiped her feet and jeeva was left wanting and thirsting more of his touch,his hands on her body,even if it was only her feet or toes.

With passion and the devil clouding her eyes,she ran her hands throught his head ' mister,do you think we can do what is popularly called a quickie,right here,right now?' and raman whistling ' whaat,jeeva,have you gone mad?'

She nodded ' yes sir,totally mad and totally horny for you?' and seeing his shocked expression ' what do you want a woman who is nearly touching 30 to do and how long can she be expected to hold on to her emotions and passions.'

Taking the still kneeling raman's face in her hands,she kissed him and then playfully gently bit the tip of his nose ' don't look so shocked and scandalised for you are the one who is responsible for all of this.I was living my life quietly and peacefully and then you come in and do all that you have done and now i am totally lost and clueless with what is happening to my body.'

Raman nodded and then got up and waited for jeeva to take her legs in and then closing the door,walked around the car and wiping his feet with the same cloth,put on his shoes and then sighed loudly.

As usual,many of the lights in the marina beach had gone to sleep or had passed away along time ago,maybe wishing the best for most of the lovers,couples who came there to talk love,make love and just love.

Ramn looked at her and then slowly leaned towards her and with a bold smile took off the edge of the saree that lay like colorful rainbow on jeeva's left shoulder and lay bare her full and swollen breasts and jeeva totally mesmerised and lost looked at him and raman slowly cupped her breast and it was just too much for her and moaning loudly and she grabbed his hand fiercely and pressed it even harder against her breast.

Raman looked at her with a boldness in his eyes and hands that jeeva had never seen or felt before and she watched as he slowly slid his hand under her saree and began to slide it up and up and then she closed her eyes and just let her man and lover do what he wanted to do but because she so desperately wanted him to do.

As his fingers closed on her,jeeva's body racked again and again as wave after waves of the most incredible pleasure swept up all over her body and she lost track of all time but for his lips around her nipples and his hand between her legs.


Much,much later,they were driving back towards home,towards saidapet and leaning back on the door,she kept staring at him unabashedly and he looked at her and flashing a smile ' a penny or should a rupee for your thoughts sweetie' and jeeva 'i did not know that an orgasm could be so beautiful,great and mind blowing and really did not know that your fingers could do so much.'

Raman looked at her ' you are my girl and as your man,i am obliged to oblige you in all ways,ma'am.'

Halting his car near their homes,Raman got out and although jeeva protested saying that it was okay and that she would walk home,he told her that he wanted to be with her before going back home and spending the whole night away from her in loneliness.

It was only 8.30 p.m or so and the streetswere brightly lit and still slightly crowded before night would beckon everyone back into their beds and into her arms and as raman and jeeva walked chatting,it slowly began.

People stopped,people stared,people turned and stared at both of them and jeeva with a smile ' has some video of both of us gone viral on social platforms' and raman shook his head,though he knew that the wedding photos and news must have gone viral and preferring not to talk about it,walked on with his head bent low and soon they reached jeeva's home and found all their parents standing in the entrance chatting away happily.

Gems and nuggets from my past posts

One day I decided to quit...

I quit my job, my relationship, my spirituality... I wanted to quit my life.

I went to the woods to have one last talk with God.

"God", I asked, "Can you give me one good reason not to quit?"
His answer surprised me...

"Look around", He said. "Do you see the fern and the bamboo?"

"Yes", I replied.

"When I planted the fern and the bamboo seeds, I took very good care of them.

I gave them light.

I gave them water.

The fern quickly grew from the earth.

Its brilliant green covered the floor.

Yet nothing came from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on the bamboo.

In the second year the Fern grew more vibrant and plentiful.

And again, nothing came from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on the bamboo. He said."In year three there was still nothing from the bamboo seed.

But I would not quit.

In year four, again, there was nothing from the bamboo seed. I would not quit." He said.

"Then in the fifth year a tiny sprout emerged from the earth. Compared to the fern it was seemingly small and

insignificant...But just 6 months later the bamboo rose to over 100 feet tall.

It had spent the five years growing roots. Those roots made it strong and gave it what it needed to survive.

I would not give any of my creations a challenge it could not handle."

He asked me. "Did you know, my child, that all this time you have been struggling, you have actually been growing roots".

"I would not quit on the bamboo.

I will never quit on you."

"Don't compare yourself to others."

He said.

"The bamboo had a different Purpose than the fern.

Yet they both make the forest beautiful."

"Your time will come", God said to me.

"You will rise high"

"How high should I rise?"

I asked."How high will the bamboo rise?" He asked in return.

"As high as it can?" I questioned."Yes." He said, "Give Me glory by rising as high as you can."

I left the forest and brought back this story.

I hope these words can help you see that God will never give up on you.

A man and his dog were walking along a road. The man was enjoying the
scenery, when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead.

He remembered dying, and that the dog walking beside him had been dead
for years. He wondered where the road was leading them.*

After a while, they came to a high, white stone wall along one side
of the road. It looked like fine marble, at the top of a long hill, it
was broken by a tall arch that glowed in the sunlight.*

When he was standing before it he saw a magnificent gate in the arch
that looked like mother-of-pearl, and the street that led to the gate
looked like pure gold. He and the dog walked toward the gate, and as
h*e got closer, he saw a man at a desk to one side.
When he was close enough, he called out, 'Excuse me, where are we?'*

'This is Heaven, sir,' the man answered. 'Wow! Would you happen to
have some water?' the man asked.*

Of course, sir. Come right in, and I'll have some ice water brought
right up.? The man gestured, and the gate began to open.*

'Can my friend,' gesturing toward his dog, 'come in, too?' the
traveler asked.*

'I'm sorry, sir, but we don't accept pets.'*


The man thought a moment and then turned back toward the road and
continued the way he had been going with his dog.

After another long walk, and at the top of another long hill, he
came to a dirt road leading through a farm gate that looked as if it
had never been closed. There was no fence.*

As he approached the gate, he saw a man inside, leaning against a tree
and reading a book.*

'Excuse me!' he called to the man. 'Do you have any water?'*

'Yeah, sure, there's a pump over there, come on in.'*

'How about my friend here?' the traveler gestured to the dog.*


'There should be a bowl by the pump.'*

They went through the gate, and sure enough, there was an old-fashioned
hand pump with a bowl beside it.

The traveler filled the water bowl and took a long drink himself, then
he gave some to the dog.

When they were full, he and the dog walked back toward the man who was
standing by the tree.

'What do you call this place?' the traveler asked.*


'This is Heaven,' he answered.*

'Well, that's confusing,' the traveler said. 'The man down the road
said that was Heaven, too?'*

'Oh, you mean the place with the gold street and pearly gates? Nope.
That's hell.'

Doesn't it make you mad for them to use your name like that?'*


'No, we're just happy that they screen out the folks who would leave
their best friends behind.'*




Remember that prayer "Lord, please let me be half the person my dog
believes I am"?*

Jannal oram 102



"When you're young, you say what you feel.
When you're adult, you speak what you think.
When you grow old, you listen to what nature says. ? Toba Beta

Jeeva looked at raman's parents ' hello,what a pleasant surprise? when did you get here? why are you standing here outside near the gate? please come in.'

Mani looked at shaktivel ' shakti sir,that is my child,questions and answers like bullets out of a machine gun?' and turning to jeeva ' they came sometime back and in fact they were just leaving when you and raman arrived.'

Kamakshi exploding with happiness,pride and excitement grabbed raman by his right hand and then remembering something,looked at him ' please don't move and i will be back in one second' and ran into the house and came back holding something.

Then she looked towards the east where the temple tower's gopuram shone high over their compound wall and gently moved raman and made him stand and face in that direction and was about to move when,valliammai stopped her ' can i have some of that rock salt,please' and kamakshi poured some salt into valliammai's hands and then bent up and down three time and took the drishti away and asked raman to spit into the salt that lay in her now open palm and raman not knowing how to respond to this ' Please,how can i spit into your palm,sorry but i am not comfortable with that.'

Kamakshi looked at him patiently and with wise eyes ' raman,you will soon be my son-in-law and yet we already treat you more than that and like our very own son.so,now you can spit boldly and without feeling uncomfortable for i am also as good as your mother.'

Raman moved with these words and show of emotion,gently bent his head and spat but only pretended to do so and that seemed to be enough for kamakshi and then valliammai did the same thing to jeeva and after jeeva had gently spat into the salt in her future mother-in-laws palm,valliammai threw the salt with a prayer and told raman ' all the good that is happening in your life is because of the arrival of jeeva.'

Jeeva looked at her dad manigandan ' mr.mani,what is going on and why is your pondatti doing all this drishti rituals?'

Kamakshi excitedly ' they showed raman on tv just now and all the other tamil tv channels are carrying that particular news clip of him and vijaya bhaskar.'

Jeeva confused ' which vijaya bhaskar,you mean the minister's son.But why are they showing raman with him?' and as she turned to raman,it suddenly hit jeeva and she understood why people had been staring at them,smiling at them with affection as they both had walked towards her home.

Raman ' jeeva madam.Its no big deal.Me and mr.vijaya bhaskar went to college together and we happened to meet each other today morning at the wedding me and my parents had gone to.That's all and there is nothing more to add to it.'

If raman thought that these words would put an end to the matter,then he thought wrong for his dad with a smile looked at all of them ' if my son says that's all and that's it.Then,what it means is that there is really a great story behind that and it also means that he will talk about it only when the time comes.'

Kamakshi looking with love and hero worship filling her eyes and lips,told jeeva ' raman looked so handsome in a traditional veshti and shirt and just stood out among the crowd,shining with both his parents and for a second i thought i was seeing lord muruga with shiva and parvati.'

Raman groaning in frustration ' aiyoo,aiyoo,amma podhum please, ithu konjam too mucha ille.'

Jeeva boldly taking his hands and kissing it ' advocate sir,when it comes to you,nothing is too much boss.'

Then playfully nudging him and looking at his parents ' excuse me,if your son becomes too famous,i hope you and him both will not start to have second thoughts about our marriage.'

Shaktivel ' jeeva,all this fame,name,money will come and go.But love,friendship,family will always remain faithful and eternal.'

Throwing his arm around raman ' enga iyaava pathi enakku nalla theriyum.He would rather give up his life than go back on his word.But more importantly,he would sacrifice his own life if it came to that but he would never hurt jeeva because she is more important to him than his own life and maybe even us also. .'

Raman ' appa,what is this? you are spoiling all my chances now.Imagine how many beautiful women will be coming to talk to me and take selfies with me.what am i supposed to do then?'

The moment he finished saying that,raman jumped up screaming in pain,holding his left bum and they all saw that jeeva was the reason for his sudden yell and jump for she held up a hair pin and looking angrily at raman and everyone broke into loud laughter and even though it was dark and night,the light of their love and laughter filled the place with a golden radiance and aura.

We come,each of us marked as an angel and guardian for another and for many others and they in turn come,marked for others and for you and me.They come,these angels,with love,laughter,souls full of strength and they give it and bestow it willingly on you,me and all of us and many a time sacrifice themselves like a candle that melts itself to give light.

They come,wearing the masks of a parent,sibling,friend,spouse,lover,child,pet and sometimes a total stranger.They will come when you most need them and they will go when their work is done.

We are all angels and we are all blessed with wings to fly high in the heavens but also to carry others on our wings and in our souls.A mother carries a child in her womb for ten months and she then carries the same child in her soul until her last breath.Friends are like mothers and fathers and yet they carry us in their souls not just because it is their duty or out of obligation but out of love,only love.

And love heals and is the best balm that mother nature has gifted us.

Redemption 224


"Your faith is your conscience, and your conscience is your faith. You cannot have faith without a conscience, but you can have a conscience without faith. Man was designed to be good with or without religion, yet the challenge for many is staying good. Some people claim to be religious but have no conscience, while some people without religion are very much aware of their conscience. Therefore, a religious label does not define your character or validate your worth. In the end, all men will be judged by the amount of truth in them and the weight of their hearts. The heavier the conscience, the heavier the truth. The lighter the heart, the higher it goes. The only spiritual currency one has in the afterlife is amassed in the form of light, in that, the amount you have depends on the weight of your words and deeds in the living. Conscience is everything. Conscience is what connects us to the truth and light of the highest power source of all. God. The cosmic heart of the universe. Suzy Kassem


Deep inside the bowels of the parliament building,Gen.veer singh stood staring at the phone and felt the cold coils of an unknown fear slowly creeping and making its way into his soul.Overcome with the difficult and confusing situation,he suddenly collapsed into a chair nearby and major.param for the first time saw age,advancing old age and its frail but vice like grip reflect on his boss's face.

Major.param had never seen his superior in this weakened state and realised that he never wanted to see him thus for it brought out the fear and the complicated jobs and lives they all lived.

Throwing caution and protocol into the wind,Major.param opened a small cupboard and brought out a half full bottle of johnny walker whiskey and poured a rather generous amount into a glass and handed it to gen.veer who glanced it and then looked up at major.param and nodded and accepted it with grace and class.

Major.param sat down next to his boss and remained quiet,waited for the general to gather back his strength and energy.Both men were totally devoted to India and had seen death,dealt with death most of their adult lives and had both meted out death by their own hands and now they sat in grim silence as the spectre of tragedy unfolded faraway in Shikarpur and they were lost,clueless and totally unable to go to the rescue of their hero,friend and comrade and who needed them now in that instant,more than ever.

General veer singh downed his drink and quickly walked out of the door and major.param did the same and ran after the marching bull of a boss and caught up with him.

Gen.veer singh was barking out orders and Major.param heard him command " me and the major will reach the helipad in twenty minutes and i want five of the ALPHA team commandos to be prepared and aboard the helicopter when we arrive.We don't have a second to waste for not one but several lives are at stake and time is running out."

Major.param jumped into their all black toyota innova and fired up the engine and Gen.veer getting in pointed to the roof and swirled his fingers and major.param with a quick nod switched on the blue beacon lights and it instantly started twirling like a ballerina yelling 'whooo,whooo,whooo' and they were off headed in the direction of the army emergency helipad.


The traffic was slightly lighter at 10.00 pm and they made quick progress towards the helipad and both his eyes totally focused on the road ahead of him.Major.param asked Gen.veer " sir,permission to speak freely" and Gen.veer nodded " you may Param and i know what you are going to ask.Yet,ask them for i owe you the answers for one day it will be you that will suceed me."

Major.param " sir,this is a very delicate situation and of totally an unknown quantity and yet here you are with me and if my assumptions is right,you will be flying out to rescue rudran from the forests of Shikarpur."

" Correct param " and then looking pointedly at his subordinate " is that all major and is that the extent of your curiosity."

Major.param " no sir and i will ask the only question and the most important one at this moment and that is,why are you getting involved personally in this rescue operation when we don't for sure if Rudran is alive or not.Or worse,he has been killed by some other unknown enemy and most probably they are lying in wait for us too."

Gen.veer singh with a hint of irritation in his voice " get to the point soldier" and Major.param ' sir,if you are captured of should you fall into the hands of some unknown enemy,then imagine the danger to this nation for you single handedly know most of our defence and intelligence movements and you will be a great pawn in the hands of the enemy and we know by experience that they can spring out from the shadows at any given opportunity and it could be right now and we probably are heading into their hands."


Gen.veer singh laughed loudly " Major.param,are you carrying your potassium cyanide capsule as per our rules of engagement?" and major.param taking the hint,hurriedly " sir,i sincerely hope no such radical situation arises for any of us.But my question still stands and that is why are we risking so much of our secret organisation by going to rudran's rescue when you know yourself that he would not permit such open engagement of our covert and valuable resources."

Gen.veer singh looked at his digital watch and saw that it they had another few minutes to reach the helipad and turning to the major " param,rudy is just not another secret agent,not just another army man or cop but more than all that.As for me and for many others,he represents the very soul of this great nation and is the first and last boundary that protects us from some of the most deadly attacks that have been planned against India."

Sighing sadly,Gen.veer singh with a shake of his head,indicated to param the world that lay outside their car " Major,nearly hundred percent of the population of this country have no clue as to what is going in the borders of this nation and what all deadly plans are being made by dangerous terrorists and criminals across the borders in their safe havens in pakistan,bangladesh and china.But we know and we take initiatives to stop them from even carrying out these deadly attacks and the past few years we have been largely successful because of Rudran and only because of his strategies.And that is strike first,strike hard and destroy the enemy with one mighty stroke."


Gen.veer singh then suddenly fell silent and major.param noticing the older man's distress " sir,you were about to say something very important " and Gen.veer singh " major param,remember that time when you took a few weeks off to be with your ailing dad who later passed away" and param " yes sir,that was back in 2013,march 2013 to be correct and what of that sir?"

Gen.Veer singh " you came back after nearly a month and then one day asked me the truth about a rumor that had been circulating and it concerned an attack on the prime minister who had been secretly attending a wedding of a son of his very close,childhood friend."


Major.param nodded " yes sir,i do very well remember asking you about the rumor and i also very clearly remember that you brushed it away as a baseless rumor.What about it sir?"

Gen.veer singh " the attack did happen and if rudran had not been there along with the prime minister and his security team,then the worst would have happened.It was only rudran who made the difference when he single handedly killed,hunted down nearly thirty highly trained Al-qaeda terrorists and saved not only the prime minister but also many of the commandos who were hurt very badly."

Major.param's eye brows furrowed and joined hands in confusion 'But how is this possible and how is that it is not in the records and how is that i was not briefed about it?"

Then as realisation came to him,major.param quickly glanced at Gen.veer singh who nodded " yes,it also struck all of us as to how it came about that the terrorists had knowledge about the prime ministers schedule which only a selected few knew beforehand."

major.param ' bloody hell,that means that there was someone inside our group,a mole,traitor."

Gen.veer cursed under his breath and the curses were really bad and foul and turning to Major.param ' do you remember agent shailander varma who died suddenly due to a cardiac arrest?" and param replied " yes sir,very sad sir and he was just 44 or 45 and sadly left behind a wife and a teenage daughter."

" No major.He did not die of a cardiac arrest but committed suicide by swallowing his cyanide capsule."

" Crap.so he was the mole and rudran made him swallow the pill.Right sir."

Gen.veer singh shook his head " sorry param.But rudran was too late to stop him from killing himself."

Major.param totally confused " but why sir? Shailander was a great man,totally devoted and utterly committed in his goal of protecting and defending this nation.He was also well experienced and had no need for money and also had no vices with which the enemy sould have tempted him and turned him into a double agent."

" correct.But he had a teenage daughter and the terrorists had kidnapped her and sent nude pics of her to him and threatened to kill her after doing all sick kind of things to her if he did not supply them with the information they wanted from him.And with no other course of action to take,he gave them them the timings of the prime ministers secret wedding trip to mussoorie."

They reached the highly guarded gates of the army's emergency helipad and after indentifying themselves in the camera and also flashing their credentials,they entered the secure site from where they were going to take off in hopes of rescuing and bringing back rudran.

Gen.veer singh and major.param quickly walked towards the already ready helicopter which had its blades whirring furiously,as if it was begging the human pilot to set it free from its earthly roots and anchor.

The five commandos stood in perfect attention and smartly saluted their boss and also major.param and the general returned their salutes and asked them to get in and strap themselves to their seat and wait for him to explain what their mission was.

Major.param gently held Gen.veer singhs right arm,who turned to param with a twinkle " yes,i know again what your burning question is and i too have been asking myself the same question all these years.

How did Rudran know that an attack was going to take place and how did he single handedly defend the prime minister and then manage to kill all of the deadly terrorists?"

Tapping major.param's cheek " well soldier,i will tell you that on our way to shikarpur.Come lets go get our hero and importantly our friend back from the dangerous position he is in."

The helicopter whirred and then smoothly took off and headed in a westerly direction and Gen.veer looked at major.param ' you heard that strange voice on the phone.What does your mind tell you and more importantly what does your heart tell you about that stranger who spoke to us?"

Major.param without any hesitation " sir,that voice sounded very different but in my heart,i know that it was Rudy and that he was in some terrible and dangerous situation."

Gen.Veer singh shook his head and then quickly dialed a number and heard what was said and then ending that call,dialled another number which had been obviously given to him just that moment.

" DGP Maninder,this is Gen.veer singh " and immediately the man on the other side replied " sir,how can i help you sir?"

Gen.veer softly " DGP Maninder,i am requesting to stand down and not send anyone into the forest in search of the people who were responsible for the death and destruction of the villa and the minister's son."

DGP Maninder totally taken aback and confused " sir,i don't understand your request for i just got off the phone with the minister himself who ordered me to go to any extent and arrest those who were behind this crime and also told me to contact him if there was any sort of interference."

Gen.veer singh smiling " DGP Maninder,i am making this strange request not to help the people who are behind the crime but to save your men who have entered the forest hunting them.The people your men are hunting are highly equipped and well trained and all i am asking you is to hold back until the situation becomes clearer.I am right now on route to the other side of shikarpur forest and will flank who ever comes out from there and i think it is best to share information and co-ordinate our resources."

DGP Maninder was about to reply,when his wireless squawked and pressing a button " yes,what is the situation?"


The voice spoke " sir,it is not one leopard sir but two of them for we can see two sets of green eyes glowing in the dark and frankly speaking sir,the man are slightly worried for one of the leopards must be a huge one for its green eyes are standing six feet above the ground."

DGP Maninder angrily " you idiot,where do you think you are,in Jurassic park? that set of green eyes must be of a leopard which is most probably standing on a low branch.stop blabbering like a child and get the job done and quickly."

But if he thought he would get a reply,DGP Maninder was mistaken for only loud screams,roars and growls came in through the speaker of the wireless set that he held close to his ear.


The boy who went into light and came back as dark.

Bridge of tears on a bed of fears

Love,lovers love and loving it all
they lay as lovers,laid as lovers
made love as new bloom flowers
under sun,moon,stars and starless skies
they lay in youth and hormones
now years lay between then as a gulf
where once they drifted to sleep
with eyes full of each other
with lips full of smiles only for the other
now they facing opposites and they too had become opposites
time,marriage and children consumed them
and now they were strangers across the room
and strangers next to each other in their own bed

each drifted off to sleep with sadness slipping
out as tears leaving stains on the pillow
and in the dark,the stains mingled with dark
and sand alone like a lost and lonely lark
that had missed its time to fly off to summer lands
and now pitifully cried for help,a guide to take it back home


they lay with their tears and fears in the dark
and they lay now strangers not knowing
how to bridge the chasm that lay between them
and it would take blind faith and pure love to do that


He woke up early and she woke up much later
so she did not see his tears that soon dried up
and he never saw her tears for he was always far away

but the bridge came to be as the abyss lay exposed
when she woke minutes after he woke and was in the bathroom

she switched on the lights
and under the lights she switched on her sights
and she saw his tears as stains on his pillow
and she saw tears on her pillow

she stood as love bloomed,blossomed and opened again
with youth,with wisdom,with truth

she realised that they cried alone
and they had been crying for each other

and opening the door she opened their hearts
and she entered into the bathroom and entered into his soul
and they were one again,once again
for no more words were needed for their tears were more than enough