*From To Sathish*-Sathish's new movie Info & Pics pg20! - Page 53

A STRANGE LIFE

You are in a party hosted by your best friends and are surrounded by your best friends.Booze and music fills the air mingled with laughter and yet you are alone,strangely alone and you look in surprise and see everyone around you as aliens or green men from some other planet.You ask yourself are they real or have i finally gone mad or is it me who is the green thingy.It is the same old thing,same old memory hashed and mashed to death for each time the story takes on more meat and you find yourself in the middle of the pack,the joker.Some like to joke,some like to be the joke and sadly many lives are a joke.

We look for perfection in others and cling to them.we look for strength in others and try to suck it of them for you are weak and a coward.Truly many lives are lived and spent like this going to the grave with a false smile,a smile that comes from the lips and not from the soul.


Life in its first moments,in that moment when another higher form of life breathes into the new life is perfect and brand new and has no sense of caste,color or creed.But the minute it takes shape and announces its presence and i mean its existence in the womb it is tarnished ,marred by its parents who give it a taste of things to come.It starts here,some magical moment when even in the womb the new life starts absorbing new and external stimuli.And lo and behold it continues with its coming into the outside world and carries on till the moment of death.See only in its first moment and in death is a life truly free from all earthly stimuli.Some realise it,but sadly the general mass of humans just don't.In the name of a holy god they go to war but the war is also a pretext for dwindling natural resources.


International woman's day,valentine's day,children's day,mother's day,birthday.A token greeting,a token acknowledgement and then it is back to raping,molesting and brutalising women.If a man has raised his hand against his wife then he is no man at all and i say this so that it hits home to a few men i know.Some really regret it and some turn to god rather than turning towards their loved one and sincerely apologising for their deadly mistake.You a...s,i really mean it,start now before it is too late.On the other hand there are some women who really bring out the beast out of you and them honestly it is better to ignore,for her sake and for your sake.

If a man screws around he is stud,playboy and a superstar among his crowd.Honestly the act of spreading your seed meant for procreation is no act of a stud or playboy but the individuals desperate need to further his genes.If a woman has multiple partners she is a wh**e,s**t and god knows what other names they will cook up.Whats with that anyway,a man can do it and woman cannot or should not.Live and let live.


A human being is capable of incredible things but most importantly every individual carries within themselves the power to heal,change and make the world a better place.A kind word,a smile,donating blood at least once a year.there are so many things we can and should be doing and it should and must start in the place we call home.Love is largely an abstract word we use but it is more like GRAND SWEETS SPECIAL MIXTURE.See grand sweets mixture contains ground nuts,cashews,almonds and raisins along with the regular norukku theeni.Love is like that,for it is a mixture of responsibility,duty,priorities,diplomacy and recognition of the ones who live with you and around you.Love begets love.love breeds love.And life becomes easier,simpler and less of a burden.But most importantly dont be judgemental or dont sit on judgement on matters not concerning you and very importantly when they do concern you.everybody has an opinion about everything,i do but unless asked for it,keep it to yourselves.

There was once a learned scientist..

After a lot of practice and efforts, he developed a formula and learned the art of reproducing himself. He did it so perfectly that it was impossible to tell the reproduction from the original.
One day while doing his research, he realized that the Angel of Death was searching for him. In order to remain immortal he reproduced a dozen copies of himself. The reproduction was so meticulous that all of them looked exactly like him. Now when this Angel of Death came down, he was at a loss to know which of the thirteen before him was the original scientist, and confused, he left them all alone and returned back to heaven.
But, not for long, for being an expert in human nature, the Angel came up with a clever idea. He said to the scientist addressing all thirteen of them, "Sir, you must be a genius to have succeeded in making such perfect reproduction formula of yourself. However, I have discovered a flaw in your work, just one tiny little flaw."
The scientist immediately jumped out and shouted, Impossible! where is the flaw?" "Right here" said the Angel, as he picked up the scientist from among the reproductions and carried him off.
The whole purpose of the scientist and his formula of reproduction failed as he could not control his pride and lost his life.
So while one's Knowledge and Skills takes one to the top of the ladder and makes one successful, however the three letter word "EGO" can pull one down immediately.

CHAPTER FIFTEEN


"Holmes and Watson are on a camping trip. In the middle of the night Holmes wakes up and gives Dr. Watson a nudge. "Watson" he says, "look up in the sky and tell me what you see."
"I see millions of stars, Holmes," says Watson.
"And what do you conclude from that, Watson?"
Watson thinks for a moment. "Well," he says, "astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Meterologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Theologically, I see that God is all-powerful, and we are small and insignficant. Uh, what does it tell you, Holmes?"
"Watson, you idiot! Someone has stolen our tent!"
Thomas Cathcart


The GAME IS ON

Every crime or for that matter every action has a motive,purpose.The simple and natural action of a mother kissing her baby could be explained by her motive.And the motive is simply love.A man stuffs his face with a pack of chips and throws the empty cover away and adds to the litter.His motive you might wonder,funnily enough his motive is that he just doesn't care about his actions and the least bothered about the damage he is causing to his surroundings.

Bala's mind was filled with all this and countless more and then just like that he took a deep breath and emptied his
mind and started analysing from the beginning.He did all this while waiting patiently for the computer technician to enhance the video in palani's mobile.Tamilnadu police is considered the best police force in india,the punjab police force might just have a difference of opinion.The reason for tamilnadu's police force being so highly regarded is that they keep abreast with all the latest technology and forensic techniques from around the world.Police officers are regularly sent to england and united states for training in detection and weapons.All though most of these happenings are largely unnoticed or appreciated by the general public it just is and life goes on.One of the important reasons that the police department is given unlimited funds and lot of latitude when it come to solving crimes is that the department of police comes under the home ministry and that portfolio is always held by the chief minister in power.So anything that could bring disrepute to the police department is placed at the chief minister's door who might not take matters lightly and surely will make heads roll or transfers done to god forsaken places.

The knock on the door announced the arrival of Sub inspector Sheela who had brought with her a laptop and a mini projector.She told bala that they had used the latest photoshop software to brush up the video and the result was much better than the one given to them to work on.Bala noticed that sheela was sweating profusely and that she looked really nervous,he asked her to sit down and requested her to pour a glass of water for herself.Sheela hurriedly gulped down a glass of water and looked at bala,her eyes filled with lots of questions.Bala shook his head and gazed intently at sheela and then asked her how long she had been working in the police department.Sheela replied " It will be two years next month."

Bala told her that working in the police department is a terrible strain for it brings us into contact with all sorts of criminals and crimes of different magnitude and dimensions.Sometimes things might look vague and scary in the beginning but there is always a logical answer for everything in the
end.One just has to ask the right questions to get the right answers.For instance " you are wondering how a man could fly through the air for about ten feet and then fall to the ground and die in a gruesome manner." When sheela nodded yes,bala continued " there could be many reasons and funnily only the wrong and weird reasons come to our mind,So we need to take one step at a time and answer every possible question and doubts and not jump to any preconceived notion or come to any hasty conclusion about a given case."Sheela said " ok sir" and left.

Bala turned the laptop and played the video and immediately knew that the video was lot more clearer,but that only added to the confusion for bala could now plainly and clearly see dilip walking towards his office door and then for no reason stumbles and nearly falls over.But just before he can fall he raises himself in gravity defying manner and floats on thin air and then all of a sudden he flies about twenty feet out over the balcony and then falls to his death,all the while screaming in fear.Bala played the video over and over again until every detail was memorised and then he zoomed in to see if there was anybody else in the corridor,but there were none.Day turned to dark and bala sat inhis cabin playing the video again and again trying to fathom a clue or reason for dilip to fall from the building.Finally tired and eyes feeling like someone had put crushed glass in them bala gave up trying and left home.He decided that he would go back to APRICOT TOWERS early the next morning and walk the crime scene again and again until he found out the reason for the accident.But little did he know that events at Apricot tower would take him there sooner than later.

Palani and his crew had finished their work in the building opposite to APRICOT TOWERS and since it was nearly nine in the night decided to call it a day.Palani's fate would take a turn for his mind was working on the same mystery as bala had done the whole day.Palani crossed the road and came to APRICOT TOWERS and told the security guy that he had been working in the opposite building and now that their job was done,he would like to take some photographs of the painting job they had done.It took a bit of cajoling and since the security team knew him for they had seen him working there for the past few weeks they asked him to finish taking the pics quickly and leave before their boss found out.

Palani went up to the twentieth floor and looked over the balcony and then recollected the happenings in the video.Well the man should have stuck to his painting and not tried his hand at being a amateur detective.Palani walked up and down the corridor,to and fro from the elevator to the balcony and even searched for the floor for a chipped or loose tile that might explain the reason for the man to fall.Finally he decided to enact exactly the happenings in the video.He went to the elevator and started walking to the office door which was about fifteen feet away and just as he reached the spot where the man appeared to fall he halted and looked here and there for any clues.From the spot where he stood it was nearly twenty feet away to the balcony and it was just not possible for a man to leap from where he stood and fly over the balcony,not even possible if the man was an olympics long jump and high jump event champion.He spoke his thoughts aloud as he stood looking around for reasons which could make sense of the whole incident and just like that his words and thoughts fell and were felt by Her.Palani shivered for suddenly the air felt cold,very cold and wondering if it was going to rain palani went towards to the balcony to look at the sky when she came towards him.Palani did not know what to make of this woman who appeared suddenly before him and before his senses could warn him that something was terribly wrong,palani felt himself carried if as he was just a toy.Palani was not a weak man by any means for years of hard work had strengthened his body and had given it above average muscle power.But all that was in vain for whoever or whatever held him and dragged him towards the balcony was not human.Palani knew that his time was up and he did the only thing which he thought would be useful and it was an action of a brave man,brave beyond imagination.In the few seconds he had,palanis hands clicked on the mobile and the video started recording.With a mighty effort palani brought up the phone and whispered two words before he fell to his death.

She stood watching the man fall to his death and all she felt was anger,terrible anger.It was an anger that would consume everything and everyone .It was an anger that knows no reason or mercy.She stands guard between him and the world and nothing could cross that line,as long as she stood guarding that line.

HEAVEN AND HELL

What do you pray to god as you stand quietly in your private moments with him.Leave those moments when you are surrounded by jackals and hyenas who come to the temple in guises of human beings.Honestly,many a time i am lost as to what i want from him and especially when sometimes you find yourself alone with no disturbance.Surreal,yes maybe it can be written off as early onset of dementia or vague brain disease.Well i pray that my loved ones are safe and no harm will ever befall them.Loved ones in harms way is just a way of explaining things that plague our daily lives.disease,accidents and other painful stuff which also includes emotional trauma.

I don't know what is more painful,me hurting or seeing my loved ones hurt.For somewhere up above or far down below is an entity who moves the pieces on the puzzle board and just like that once in a while he hurts,maims and kills someone you love for reasons better known to him and leaving you to live on begging the question,why him,why her and why not me.All of us are at some point willing to face death or face the scariest pain possible if it keeps our loved ones safe.This could be some sentiment drilled into our brains to further our species and genes.

Just down the road i live in,there is some construction going on an i pass that place everyday and they will be winding up soon and off to another construction in another place.But among them is a young woman who has a baby maybe four or five months old.Starting from about nine in the morning to about one in the afternoon and then again from two to six in the evening,the woman goes up and down carrying bricks and bringing down rubble and other stuff to be thrown out.And yet i have caught her once in a while stopping by her sleeping child which hangs in cradle made out of a saree.I guess most of you will brush this off as a daily happening but for me what is remarkable is her manner when she stops by her child.A big smile decorates her dark and dust smeared face,her teeth shining white like pearls and she coos and mumbles endearments in a language only she and the baby understands.wow i think that is magic and so real.

Most of us and i did too spend our time physically and mentally preparing for the final destination kailasam or vaikuntam and forget that real heaven is here right now.I sometimes wonder what the purpose of life is for we are born and then we die and those are the only assured happenings in our life.Our loved ones might abandon us,our wealth and health might desert us but death never abandons us and remains true to his promise and comes for all of us.Maybe the real test or exam is here right now,maybe it is our life,our actions and how we go about living on borrowed time.i say real heaven is right here for i doubt if heaven and hell has family,friends and other sentiments.Oh go,i bet hell surely has relations and a...s who you have spent your life avoiding.now i wonder in how many people's lists i figure in the a...e list.hopefully few,for there are people who i have pissed of with my runaway gob.And then there are those who just hate you at first sight and hate you until their last breath.There was a time when my inferiority complex used to make me wonder what was wrong with me and why she or he hated me.Ha,Ha,but now my superiority complex blanks those silly thoughts.Now i wonder if it is better to run with inferiority or superiority complex.see there is hell for you right there.at least my own private hell.

To be continued

When Gandhi was studying law at the University College of London, there was a professor, whose list name was Peters, who felt animosity for Gandhi, and because Gandhi never lowered his head towards him, their "arguments" were very common.

One day, Mr. Peters was having lunch at the dining room of the University & Gandhi came along with his tray and sat next to the professor. The professor, in his arrogance, said, "Mr Gandhi: you do not understand...a pig and a bird do not sit together to eat ". To which Gandhi replied, "You do not worry professor, I'll fly away ", and he went and sat at another table.

Mr. Peters, red with rage, decides to take revenge at the next test, but Gandhi responds brilliantly to all questions. Then, Peters asked him the following question, "Mr Gandhi, if you are walking down the street & find a package, & within it there is a bag of wisdom & another bag with a lot of money; Which one will you take?"

Without hesitating, Gandhi responded, "the one with the money, of course".

Mr. Peters, smiling, said, "I, in your place, would have taken the wisdom, don't you think?"

"Each one takes what one doesn't have", responded Gandhi indifferently. Mr. Peters, already hysterical , writes on the exam sheet the word "idiot" & gives it to Gandhi. Gandhi takes the exam sheet & sits down. A few minutes later, Gandhi goes to the professor & says, "Mr. Peters, you signed the sheet, but you did not give me the grade."!!

Nice posts with well-told pearls of wisdom.

CHAPTER SIXTEEN


Our world is ancient,so ancient that the remnants of our beginnings are very hard to find.Just like the many complicated laws of physics ,there are secret,hidden and yet undiscovered laws that govern the very life of all species.Somewhere,something which started the whole process of life slumbers lost in a deep sleep.Billions,trillions and maybe zillions of years, that ancient entity which cannot be held down by a name has worked on life as it went from one universe to universe.It went from small and big galaxies and it has seeded life in so many earths that is has lost count.But yet strangely it retains a chain of contact with each atom and each speck of its creation.But the entity is clouded,ancient and now in deep slumber.And yet it wakes when there are ripples in the foundations of its creation.It wakes and ponders where and when the ripple was created and what it meant.Many a ripple passes over the slumbering ancient entity,billions of ripples in the cosmic web that only it can sense for everything is attached to it like the umbilical cord that connects a mother to her child.But strangely it barely lifts a eyelid or to safely say barely even registers the ripples and messages from across the universe but it wakes as this ripple passes over it and it reacts.For this ripple will change the course of many lives and lead to chaos.Deep in the thoughts the entity decided what should be and what shouldn't be and a new course of actions were now in place.In the war between good and bad,between living and the dead the entity took sides,nay made a game change and that was it.It went back
to its slumber,deep slumber and it slumbered billions of light years away and yet in its slumber it kept one eye open.For we are not alone,we were never alone and something watches over us,guarding us from us.


Shalini and mani


It was a pleasant day and mani rolled down the car window and looked at shalini with loving eyes.Shalini turned to him and with an arched eyebrow quizzed him with her eyes.Mani said " I have seen many people drive their cars but nobody has looked so good as you do while driving a car." Shalini replied " well that is because you are sitting next to me.I look good because you make me feel good."

It was the weekend and after great persuasion mani agreed to shalini's proposal that they drive down to Pondicherry.It was about seven in the morning and they had just crossed the tollgate near mayajaal and were slowly cruising towards Pondicherry.Mani staring at the road suddenly spoke aloud " you know shalini,i was wondering how is it that i am so comfortable with you when the funniest part is it has been only two days."Shalini laughed loudly and said "
mani,sometimes you can be so dumb.Ok,its been only two days for you but for me its as if you never went away from my life and have always been in my thoughts and dreams."Mani looked at her and replied " yes, i know exactly what you mean and i feel the same way."


Mani said " i hope i don't turn out to be a disapointment for you.i have more or less lived a lonely and quiet life and never had friends.so i am a bit dumb and old fashioned when it comes to social skills and saying the right thing.that is why i largely keep quiet and offer no comments or share my opinions even in my office when i am prompted to."

Shalini looked at him and said " mani,i seriously dont know why or what love is,it just is.i feel for you and it is a feeling that makes me feel alive and nice.so let us not dissect and probe too much about ourselves and just be and let things flow in its course." Then without a warning she slammed the brakes and drove the car into a shady spot.Mani panicked and asked her what was wrong.Removing her seat belt shalini leaned towards mani and grabbed him by his shirt collar and pulled him towards her and said "its been nearly an hour." Mani looked at her and asked " been an hour,whats been an hour." shalini said " you dumbo,its been an hour since we kissed.We last kissed as we were coming down the elevator in my apartment and we sneaked a small kiss in the car parking,although technically we cannot call that a kiss,more of a brush of the lips." Mani smiled and kissed her,deeply and time stood still,time flew by,it did not matter for lovers make their own time and destinations.

Hearing a noise they realised that another car had pulled up in front of them and in unison they turned and looked in front.The music coming from the car which had pulled up was so loud that it would be an act of miracle if people inside the car did not lose their hearing.But as it was there were three people in the car and from the manner they got out both shalini and mani realised that although it was only seven in the morning.the occupants were totally drunk and that always meant trouble.Shalini looked at mani and said " well you are free but you better hold on to that kiss and thought " and reversed the car only to find that there was a huge stone blocking their car from reversing.Mani told shalini to stay inside and got out of the car and went towards the car which was blocking their way.One person was already out and taking a leak near a tree,so mani went towards the driver of the car and asked him to reverse the car a bit so they could be on their way.But fate brought trouble and loads of it for the driver got out and looked towards shalini and said something vulgar.Shalini sitting inside did not hear what the guy had just said but heard the slap on the man's face given by mani.And then matters became worse for the driver jumped on mani and the other guy who was inside the car also got out and started beating mani.Shalini jumped out of the car and rushed to save mani when hell and the wrath of devils descended on the spot.The pleasant temperature suddenly dropped to a freezing cold and all of them heard the blood curdling scream.It was not the scream of anything living and mani yelled " shalini get inside the car,please listen to me,get inside the car right now." mani staggered to his feet and went towards the other car and getting into it reversed and made enough room for their car to get away.Before the three drunken men could compose themselves and attack mani again,they left the place.Shalini was worried about the injuries mani had sustained but mani said " please shalini,just drive and don't look back."And so they left in speed towards Pondicherry.


But for the three men who remained in that place everything took place in slow motion.But it would be the last thing they saw with living eyes for with the freezing air and blood curdling screams, the air moved with the speed of a raging cyclone.Dust and leaves flew and visibility was lost but they all saw her and the man who had first attacked mani died of a heart attack.he died screaming in fear at seeing her.Well.the other two died horrible and gruesome deaths for they were torn apart limb by limb and cast away.She did not spare even the man who had died on seeing her and tore him to pieces and threw him here and there in anger.A few limbs landed on the branches of the nearby trees.The screaming and chaos continued for a few more minutes and then died down.

The place where all this took place was just off the busy ECR ROAD and few passing cars slowly halted to see what was happening and soon some got out of the cars and came to the spot.Most threw up the minute they saw the ravaged bodies which lay in pieces here and there and a few after composing themselves called the police on their mobiles.But before the police could get there many of the onlookers had their mobiles out and were busy taking photographs and videos.The race was on between most of them to post the pictures on face book and you tube.That is today's world,21st century technology filled with wonders and yet most of the technology is a race for hits on face book,twitter and you tube.

Hunted,quartered and hung out to dry


April and may are the hottest months in india and this year the heat will be more,much more and intolerable.Adding to the misery of the summer heat will be the screams of criminals in guise of politicians screaming via loudspeakers their false promises and lying with a smile.What makes me want to puke on them is that not one of them promise safety for women and justice for the women who are being raped and molested on a daily basis.10 years in power and Mrs.sonia gandhi is yet to open her mouth or go on tv and voice her opinions on how women are being treated in the capital and all over india.I think women in india will be better of under the rule of taliban for rapists are really treated well there.yes only the genitals of the accused are mutilated.

If the wails and screams of the women in india are not painful enough,the rape of so called bharat mata our motherland is another matter altogether.MR.raja of the 3G SCAM is being given a ticket to contest the elections.Now what i think of that i can safely guess matches many voters thoughts.So even though AMMA is not in an alliance with any major party i guess the 3g scam will do and will most probably be enough to scare the voters of tamilnadu with.What was the leadership of DMK thinking when they decided to give tainted and corrupt politicians who actually spent time in jail a seat to contest the elections.What arrogance and i think the people of tamilnadu will return a fitting verdict.

From the controversial days of PRE and POST EMERGENCY period Mr.stalin has come a long way and has actually found respect and earned the trust of people in our state.I wonder why he did not take matters in his hands and start a new line of clean and decent politicians from the DMK factory.Now that MR.karunanidhi has taken a back seat and now that MR.azhagiri has had his fangs plucked out i really think MR.stalin should take the reins in his hand firmly and lead the party and state to a brighter future.

You know AMMA is not young anymore and she is nearly 67 years old and most importantly appears sickly and unhealthy.What intrigues me is what will happen if she dies tomorrow.Come now 67 is old enough and people die everyday and they die in the womb,they are born dead,they are born and then they die and so there is nothing remarkable about my doubt.Seriously what will happen if she dies and who will take over AIADMK.

During the days of the late MGR, names of actors like bhagyaraj and ramarajan were hinted,dropped and spoken of in hushed manner and in the end it was AMMA who stood among the ruins and became the leader.From her times as the leader and chief minister names of ramarajan,sharatkumar,rajinikanth,vijaykanth and vijay were dropped or gossiped as the next in line to take over the reins.Vijay would have been a good bet for he has a huge fan base and people openly speculate that one day he will follow the footsteps of famous film personalities and sit on the throne as the chief minister.That could still come to pass but not for now as things have soured between him and AMMA.Well as of now AMMA is AIADMK and AIADMK is AMMA and she does not want to share her position.If she happens to drop dead tomorrow there will be hue and cry and mass suicides but when the dust settles most of them will either join vijaykanths party or DMK,some faithful might hang on and live out their lives crying about the past.Well that is just a thought and who knows what could transpire.

Even during the time of MGR who stood solo as a lighthouse shining on a beach,there were some famous names who shared the limelight like nedunchezhiyan,veerappan,kalimuthu,thamaraikani,somasundaram etc.But as of now Amma does not just shine like a lighthouse but like a supernova and her light is so bright that everyone else including her party is invisible.

The one thing about DMK is its staunch belief in party first and everybody else second.Even when Karunanidhi passes on it will barely raise a noise among the party for stalin is there and the marans who will close ranks.The future does look bright and rosy for the dmk party but does it look like that for tamilnadu.

The metro rail will soon fly over the streets of chennai but you will still find buckets in the many bright colors of actor ramarajan's costumes lined up near hand pumps and taps jutting out of giant sintex tanks.It has been nearly 66 years since we got independence and people still struggle for water and electricity.

A few months back i attended an audio launch of a film directed by a dear pal of mine kaushik and another friend of mine avinash subramaniam accompanied me for it.Well on the way back we stopped at the k.k.nagar branch of saravana bhavan and were suprised to see only white faces.ok,ok fair north indian faces.yes tamilnadu or at least chennai has now officially been taken over by north indians.The point i am getting to is at some point some stupid dumb bas***d from north india is going to rape some tamil woman or a tamil child and then the fun will begin.Oh,those poor sods dont know how we tamilians will react to stuff like that.that is something to wait and watch for.

A tycoon in China passed away,
His widow, left with $1.9 billion in the bank, remarried his chauffeur.
His chauffeur said, "All the while I thought I was working for my boss.
only now I realise that my boss was all the time working for me !!! "

The cruel reality is:
It is more important to live longer than to have more wealth.
So we must strive to have a strong and healthy body,
it doesn't matter who is working for who.

A high end hand phone, 70% of the functions are useless.
An expensive car, 70% of the speed is not needed.
A luxurious villa, 70% of the space is not occupied.
A whole wardrobe of clothes, 70% of it is not worn.
A whole life of earning, 70% is for other people to use.
So we must protect and make full use of our 30%.

Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara

Michael, Francis and Banta are standing at the Gates of Heaven, being
interviewed by St. Peter. "Ok Michael, how many times did you cheat on your
wife?" "Let me be honest, St Peter. I've been seeing at least two or three different women a year all my married
life". "Ok, your car in heaven is that Hyundai Santro there.Goodbye." St. Peter turns to Francis, "How many times did you
cheat on your wife?" Francis replies, "I must admit that in fifteen years
of marriage, I did cheat on my wife twice." St. Peter says, "OK, your car in heaven is that
Honda Civic. Here are the keys. Get going!" He then looks at Banta, "And you, how many times did
you cheat on your wife?" Banta lifts his head high and replies, "I am proud to say that in over
twenty years of marriage, I never cheated on my wife. In fact, my beloved has
been dead for two years now and I remained celibate the whole time!"
St Peter replies, "Very impressive...! Your car in heaven is that BMW
Z4-M Roadster convertible. Goodbye! Michael and Francis have driven off and are in a car park
nearby waiting for their friend. Banta turns up in his BMW but he is crying his heart
out. Michael asks, "Arrre! What's the matter with you? We should be crying. We're
stuck with these cheaper models and you got an expensive
BMW!" Between sobs Banta explains, "I just saw my wife.
She was driving a Nano" !!