Part - 18
Its been whole week since she left. A whole week of hell. Its not like they didnt talked on phone or skyped, they did. Whenever they got time, they will do it in a seconds. But there were times when she will be with her family or he will be in his meetings and the whole day will go without listening to each other's voice and that kills them. She was trying her best to talk to at least one of the elders or even her cousins but they were just too happy to even listen to what she wants. Finally she fed up and tried to think of a way to get out of this. She was still thinking about what to do and what not to when her mother came sauntering inside her room with a brown packet in her hand. Nisha looked at her mother's grinning face and then at the packet suspiciously. "what" she asked as her mother hugged her over affectionately. "what?? Cant a mother hug her daughter without a reason... m not a bad mother" her mother exclaimed dramatically. " stay away from rupan taiji maa... u r becoming a brand new drama queen day by day" she rolled her eyes at her melodramatic mother who was feigning hurt. "kya h is packet m??" nisha asked trying to change the topic and it seems to work as her mother beamed at her. "isme na mere hone wale daamado ki photo h" laxmi said and the words made nisha stiffen. "ur aap meri kitni shadia karwane wali ho maa" she asked. "ek... par inhi m se koi hoga na mera damad" laxmi said and started pulling out photographs of some eligible bachelors. "aapko itna vishwas kaise h?" she asked still not interested. "hai to hai... ab tu drama band kar ur ye photo dekh k kisi ko pasand kar le" laxmi placed the packet in her hand. "pasand to kisi ko kar hi lia h maa... bus aap lgo se kh hi nhi paa rhi" she mumbled in low voice. "kya badbad kar rhi h nishu..." laxmi whined. "kuch nhi maa... ur mjhe nhi dekhni ye photo... aap hi dekh lo" she sighed and turned away from her. Laxmi looked at her face which was a contradicted but that didnt down her spirit and she picked a photo out.
"ye dekh nishu... kitna achha ladka h"
"ye kala h..." she said without even looking at it.
"achha ... dekh ye to gora h na"
"iski naak tedi h..." she said without any interest still gazing outside.
"iski dekh aankhe kitni achhi h..."
"lamba h ye jyada..."
"par ye to teri height ka h..."
"aankhe tedi h iski..."
"achha par ye wala to..."
"bus maa... nhi dekhna h mjhe kisiko... le jao in langooro ki tasveere yha se... ek bhi insaan jaisa nhi h inme se" she exclaimed and discarded every photo her mother picked.
"achha... ye aakhri h ise to dekh le..." her mother showed a pic to her and she dejectedly took hold of it. The boy in the picture wasn't bad... he was actually good looking but nowhere near her kabir. She didn't wanted those pair of black eyes, she craved for hazel ones. She didnt want those thick black neatly combed hair, she craves for tousled and messy brown locks. She didnt want that perfect physique, she craves for a particular lean yet muscular body. She didnt want that filmy style, she loved that boring business like. She just didnt want anyone, she needed the only one.
It was midnight of 3rd week of their parting and kabir was already on the verge of insanity. The frustration of not having his mirage in his arms was provoking him to do something reckless but he know better to do any such thing. So to dissipate some steam, he picked his diary and started writing.
"hey sweetheart,
Why is all this so frustrating now a days. It's like i have lost my cool. It never happened before. Till now i didnt knew that mirage is so deep in my system, she has became such necessity for me that's is actually horrific to know. But its true... she was the one who kept me going and now too still it is her thoughts and memories which are floating my boat. I miss her... i miss her so damn much. I cant write more too its like with her,my words have left me too. But i know she will come back.. she has drugged me with her enthralling personality... and m an addict with no hope of getting cured anytime soon... and i don't want to"
He closed the diary with a thud and bowed his head on his study table. "i will go insane nisha... just came back" he whispered. Sighing, he stood up and went to look for sara. She was the only one who was keeping him grounded and prevent him from snapping at everyone. He was playing with his sweety heart who tried her best to keep him distracted throughout their play time till kaira came and took her for bed. once again he was alone and her memories cloud him. He kept remembering her feel in his arms, her mesmerizing eyes, her sweet talks, her enchanting laughter, her enticing curves, her melodious voice, her shyness, her beauty... oh how torturing she has became in his dreams. He dialled her no. And prayed for her to answer this time.
"kabir..." she whispered with longing laced in her voice making him want to run for her.
"mirage... i m missing u... just come back... i dont know how u will but pls just come back i cant take one more minute without u... i will go mad without u... just come back now" he talked with such yearning that it took nisha's every ounce of self restraint to bolt out and catch the first train to delhi.
"kabir... pls dont... dont say that..." she begged him to not to continue because she knew just some more words and she will actually leave from here to be with him.
"no nisha... i cant take it anymore... i cant... i just want to have u with me... pls just come to me before anyone snatch u away... pls come or i will be coming to take u back... i dont care what will happen i want u and u want me and that's enough... i wont let anyone come in between us..." he stopped to take some breath as he talked without a pause.
She understood why he is acting so weird lately. He feared losing her to someone else. He feared she will choose someone else over him. Oh god! He cant be more wrong than this. She smiled and shook her head at him. "kabir... shhh... chup ekdum... no one is going to take me away from u... i wont let anyone do that... hmare beech koi nhi aaega samjhe... na meri family na koi ur... i m urs and will always be... stop stressing urself and take care... i will come back very soon... u trust me?" she asked.
He nodded not thinking that she cant see him. Nisha smiled because she knew his answer. "so go n sleep... do ur work, smile like u always do, play with my little angel and yes have faith... m coming... i m not going anywhere leaving u anytime soon... ok?" she talked like he was a 5 yr old who is adamant to not understand whatever his elders are trying to make him.
"i know..." he breathed all tired with his raging feelings. "sleep now... u are tired and u have work in the mng..." she commanded while he obliged without a word. "good night kabir" she cooed when she heard rustling of sheets from other side. "stay here..." he requested. "always..." she smiled and he closed his eyes imagining her to be by his side right now. "u ok now?" she asked settling herself on the windowsill in her room. The moon was gazing at her impassively, reflecting the blooming loneliness of her insides. "m fine... that i know u are here" he whispered looking at the white ceiling above. "pls take rest... will u?" she sighed placing her head on pane. "ok..." he replied. "why are u so afraid... Usually u are so calm and collected and right now... what happened" she asked furrowing her eyebrows in confusion. "nothing..." he replied. She closed her eyes in frustration. "kabir..." her voice was stern and he knew he wont be off hook anytime soon. "its just... m insecure mirage... u are so perfect and i... i m nothing like the one who deserve u... what if u meet ur mr. Perfect and leave me... i cant live without u... the thought alone is enough to kill me thousand times..." his voice so sullen that it constricted her heart. " who told u m perfect kabir... its just the opposite... but m perfect for u and u for me understood??..." she rolled her eyes as a reluctant smile tugged at her lips. "if u say so..." he pouted and nisha let out a giggle at his tone. "yeah watever... now sleep... m going to bed too..." she let out a yawn. "hmmm..." he replied after closing his eyes and they whispered goodnight to each other.
************
Nisha was with her cousins, talking and laughing at their silly jokes still reeling from inside as it had been days and dadaji was on the verge of finalising her marriage because she wont select anyone by rejecting making absurd excuses. Finally after sometime she made her way to her room and lie down waiting for kabir to call her and take away her restlessness. Soon her wait was over as her room filled with a known melody and her heart leapt out of it's cage.
"hey you..."
"hey back..."
"are u ok?..."
"as i can be... m missing u mirage"
"me too... "
"u talked?"
"no... not yet"
"why..."
" i... i just cant bring myself"
"why..." he couldn't help but feel annoyed at her persistent delay in this matter.
"i told u already...didn't i? And why are u getting pissed off... i told u everything will be OK"
" yes... u did. But for just a second think about me... will u? M hanging onto a thin rope mirage... and u are taking just too long... why can't u just up and go, talk to ur father or dadaji... even better"
" i can't do that..."
"WHY...??? u always chicken out mirage... u promised me... yet u always slip off.. what do u want exactly... why are u defying urself..."
"m a coward... ok... that's what u want to hear right... so m saying, I ' M A COWARD... do u thnk it's easy for me... to just go and blurt out everything to them... why can't u do the same to maa, why are u betting on me..."
"dont tempt me mirage... i asked to come with u but u were the one saying no, telling me that u can handle it on ur own... that's why i didn't involved maa till now... but if u want i can do that right now, i will come there on my own and talk to ur dadaji or will take u by will or force, the hell with everybody else..."
"no u won't..."
"and why is dat... i will do what i like... i gave u time and u did nothing"
"we are not on a time limit..."
" yes we are... and time is running... so u have to take this decision nisha... now"
"what are u implying here..."
"m giving u choice..."
"wha... what choice..." her voice nothing above a whisper " are u... are u telling me to choose between u and... and my family?" as the words tumbled out of her mouth, she realised this was her worst fear of all things.
"oh for the love of god mirage... No... no... m not an idiot... i know u won't leave ur family neither i want u too... n u know i won't free u from me... so stop thinking stupid things... either u tell them by urself or m coming there in two days... u know how the chaos will break so the choice is urs..." his clipped tone sent shivers down her spine and she didn't like it a bit. He hanged up without a word of parting leaving her all riled up. So much for her nervous frenzy.
"this is insane..." she muttered before throwing her phone on the bed. "what do i do now?" she held her head in palms and groaned at the helpless situation.
Two days went by without any communication between them. Neither him nor she tried to reconcile with each other. He kept his anger surging inside whereas she kept waiting for the bomb to explode. Nisha tried again to tell everything to her father but every single time, her tongue tied up and her vocals lost their ability to produce a single sound. She felt agitated and highly irritated and to top it all kabir was being a douche. She knew he was right too but she wasn't wrong either. After spending two torturous days, she decided to call him and get it over with. She can't live like this, hanging on a thin rope from either side. She needed him and his support. So she gathered her confidence and called him which went straight to his voicemail. She tried and tried but with same results. Finally loosing all her patience, she called rudra and got to know the reason behind his sudden disappearance. Once again he was out of india for a deal and she couldn't fathom was it a good thing or bad. Deciding on to let it be, she focused on the task in hand and mule over how to threw the bomb on her family when her phone rang beside her. She quickly picked it up not really paying attention towards the caller id when a known voice snap her out of the mist.
"nisha... kha h aap aaj kal...? Kaisi h... jaa ke ek baar bhi aapne hme call nhi kia... itne bure dost bhi nhi h hm..." kaira's voice boomed through the phone making nisha miss her days in delhi once again.
"mai thik hu... aap kaise ho? Ur sara? Ur aunty ji?... sab thik h na?... i was just a little busy here... isilie call nhi kar payi.." she stated.
"sab thik h yha.. maa bhi achhi h ur sara to aapko bhot miss karti h..." her words were enough to put a small smile on her lips.
"mai bhi app logo ko bhot miss karti hu .. umm... mr. Rathore kaise h?" she asked timidly.
"kabir bhi achhe h abhi to bahar gye h... par ek baar waapas aa jaenge to aur bhi achhe ho jaenge..." kaira grinned so bright that nisha could feel it across the distance.
"uhoh... esa kya hone wala h..?" she asked playing with the hem of her top, picking at the ends.
"are ye pucho ki kya nhi hone wala h... hmne hmari devrani chun li h... sabko bhot pasand h... specially sara ko... usne to unhe chachi kehna bhi shuru kar dia h... maa ki to ladli ho gyi h vo... viraj ne kuch kha to nhi par hme pta h unhe apne chhote k lie vo hi pasand h... bus ab kabir ki haa ki deri h... jaise hi unhone ha boli vaise hi hm aapko invitation bhejte h..." kaira rambled non stop, not even bothering whether nisha is listening or not and hanged up on her after nisha's meek excuse for goodbye.
It took nisha several seconds to remind herself to breath. A gush of nerve wreaking shock transpired in her veins. She felt like her lungs got punctured and refused to fill air, her body forgetting how to work. Hot thick blood ran cold in her veins. A full blown panic attack was on it's way and she realised that feeling moistness around her face.
Marriage...
Kabir's marriage...
Her kabir's marriage...
Her love's marriage...
Breathes... Scanty breaths... She couldn't comprehend what's going on until her body wheezed out a ragged breath forcing her brain to function because her vision got blackened. She willed herself to calm down... she need to stop panicking. This wasn't the time to lose control. Tears spilled through her eyes when she thought that this was how kabir felt every single time thinking of her getting married to someone else. She cursed herself for not thinking about how deep their feelings run for each other. It's like air getting cut off for them. But she couldn't lose now. She won't. She can't let go off him. She won't. She need him, want him and she know she will have him. A surge of confidence rolled in her and she wiped away her tears forcefully. She needed to talk now... she needed to stop chickening out every every damn time. Kabir was right. She is being a coward. And though she knew she had to ask for his forgiveness but the first thing she need to do right now is speak to her hitler.
Nisha stood up and took purposeful strides towards the verandah where she knew her old man would be. She found him reading a philosophical book, his eyes trained on the text, a old black rimmed glass falling over his tinted nose. She took in a ragged breath. "not a time to back out nisha" she chanted to herself before planting herself in front of his armchair. "what happened nisha? Why are u here?" he ask without looking at her. "m here to talk dadaji" she said shaking with nerves. "i have an idea about it... go on..." he said without giving away anything. " i... I dont... i mean... i dont want to get married" she blurted out the words all the while cursing herself to not say the truth. "i know that young lady... but u are getting married because u promised me so" he fired back raising his voice a few octave making her flinch back in fear. "n... no... No dadaji... i don't want to get married and it should be my decision to when get married and to whom... i haven't given u my written consent did i?" she muster up all of her courage. She need to fight back this time. Her love, her life and most importantly kabir is at stake. She can see the fire ablaze in his eyes at her defiance, she knew she is getting out of line according to him but this time she didn't want to care. "nisha... stop with this behaviour of yours. I m not going to be doing what u wanted me to..." his voice clipped and she knew she is near to being dismissed. "but dadaji... i dont want it... u can't force me" she answered right back hoping that he for once could see her reasoning. "why???" his voice boomed despite of him not shouting. She shivered realizing his anger. "because... because i... i... Dadaji... i" she stumbled over her words not knowing what to say. How to tell him she loves someone so dearly. A family like hers isnt going to accept this so easily without causing drama. But she first need to detach this sword of marriage hanging over her head before diving into the impending madness head first. "i just dont want to dadaji... not now..." she mumbled back. "enough of your stupid excuses nisha... m not going to tolerate any of ur nonsense now... and i know what game u are playing by rejecting the boys so now be ready to meet the boy of my choice without so much of a noise... and u r going to get married to him no matter what... and no funny business." he stood up after giving her a hard glare and sauntered off for his nap leaving a gaping nisha behind. She stood up on her aching knees and let the anger surge inside her. How dare everyone try n rule her life. This is her bloody life and she will do what she want. With a growing mischievous smirk on her face, she bolted upstairs. That evening she got the dreadful news of meeting that boy in a matter of days. She nodded solemnly at her mother and started devising a plan to blow off the meeting. As for kabir, they still didn't get in touch with each other and she continued to miss him dearly.
A slow breeze whizzed past him, stirring the growing melancholy in his thoughts which were still full of his mirage. He was ansty not knowing what is happening with her but his pride and hurt didn't let him call her once. He saw her texts, her messages her voicemails everything... still didn't tried to reply back. Rudra has called her a few times asking why nisha had to call him to know kabir's whereabouts. It's not like they had a huge fight but kabir felt like she isn't dwelling on his misery. He had been pathetic these past few weeks and her stepping out is way too much. His heartache isnt something he can ignore for long. Still in his thoughts, he reached his office and attended his meeting in a blur. He had been working like a hurricane from the time nisha had been away, trying to keep himself busy and not think of them much but all in vain. Suddenly a ring blared in the lonely room breaking his sullen environment. A slow smile made it's way on his lips and he pick up his phone.
"hello bade bhaiya..."
"kaise hai chhote... ab aap waap waapas aaenge ki whi rehne ka mann bna lia h aapne" viraj's voice boomed with humour from the other side.
Kabir laughed at his brother's word and shook his head in a no. "nhi bhaiya... aapke chhote aapke bagair reh sakte h kya... mai jaldi hi waapas aa jaunga" he replied.
"jaldi nhi... abhi waapas aa jaeye chhote... kitne din ho gye aapko dekhe bagair..." viraj's voice filled with nostalgia.
"ohho... mjhe miss kar rhe h aap.." he mischievous voice teased viraj. Kabir knows how rarely viraj say something like this and he truly treasure such moments.
"ha kar rhe h... aur isilie aapko aapka return ticket bhej dia h... ab bus kal waapas aa jaeye aap... hm nhi jaante" viraj ordered leaving kabir dumbfounded.
"but... but bhai... abhi kitna kaam baaki h yha... ese kaise aa jau mai..." he replied.
"hm kuch nhi jante kabir... kal aap aa rhe h to aa rhe h..." that were viraj's parting words leaving kabir defeated.
Sighing, he started packing and went to bed. He glanced towards his phone and listened to his mirage's latest voicemail which had nothing just her ragged breaths and a whisper of his name. He thought of the various reasons about it but came up with none. He clicked on her name and began reading their previous conversations. His heart went out for her and without even thinking he sent a msg. One msg can't harm that much... can it?.
How are you???
He held his breath as a ping resonated in his hotel room telling him she replied.
Hurt, sad and regretful...
Kabir had to close his eyes and even out his breathing reading those words which were staring right back at him.
Why???
He didn't knew what came over but he just couldn't drop his act of being an idiot.
Because m here, alone and lonely, living my punishment...
Punishment?? What punishment... not talking isnt only affecting her. It's affecting him too...
What are u talking about???
Nothing... Stay safe...
What the hell... why does she had to cut off like this. "because this is what u did to her too" a part of his conscience told him.
I will... ILU ...
He couldn't stop himself. He needed to say those words and needed to hear them back. Whatever may happen between them, he cannot deny the satisfaction of knowing it to himself.
I LOVE U TOO ...
He broke into a heart stopping smile, his eyes glistening in love. He kissed the words which meant the world to him and wished to kiss those luscious lips of hers too. Now he can go back to sleep and promised himself to mend his ways with her.
A/N - YES YES... ITS TRUE... I FINALLY UPDATED... BUT DONT BE TOO HAPPY KYUKI MAI KAB GAYAB HO JAUNGI YE MAI KHUD BHI NHI JANTI... SOCHA THA ISE ISI UPDATE M KHATAM KAR DU BUT NHI KAR PAE... SO WAIT JALD HI KHATAM KAR DUNGI ISE...
Edited by mansi_as18 - 8 years ago
Anupamaa
