DOTW- Importance of grandparents

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Shwetha

@Shwets1502

Achiever

+ 2

Posted: 12 years ago

In earlier days, grandparents played an integral part in the growth of the child. Parents used to feel good when their children grow in the hands of their grandparents because they had the experience of life, they were considered wise and they knew how to handle kids. Children too learnt a lot from grandparents, old meaningful stories, how to respect elders and lots more.

But children growing with their grandparents have come down a lot in today's world. They visit the grandparents or grandparents visit them once in a while. Both sides have fun for few days and get back to their own lives after that. Do you guys feel the children are actually missing out in having grandparents living with them?

Children like when grandparents come to live with them. For instance, Rocky and Ginny are so happy that Daddu has come. They were happy when Bebe came too? Will they be happy whenthey live with them forever? Will they be able to adjust to their lifestyle? Ofcourse, there is generation gap. But who has to bridge it? Grandparents also would want to take part in the decision making, will the children able to accept their point of view?

On the whole, my discussion topic is

Are Grandparents deprived of the happiness of living with their grandchildren/children?

Does the children of today miss out on the happiness and advantages of living with grandparents?

How much can grandparents create a change in one's life?

Should grandparents step down from the power of being family heads and transfer them to their children and take a back seat?

Why do children of today think of being away from parents? Is it just because of career or are there more reasons?

Please share your views. It could be relating to the show or to your life as well.

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Hemz

@PhoenixSnitch49

Navigator

Posted: 12 years ago

@Shwets..agree with you. Nice post👏

Yeah, in earlier days, grandparents weren't a load to the parents. They cared their grandchildren, their children very much. The grandparents still are like that. But now-a-days,, their murders by their own children are happening, their children torture them, make illogical, insensitive demands and if they do not accept their demands, the children kill them!! They make them get out of the house and so many merciful, pitiable cases are there!! They are also shown in Crime Patrol. Crime related grandparents are increasing!! No one cares for them except few!!

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Shwetha

@Shwets1502

Achiever

+ 2

Posted: 12 years ago

Yes, those are extreme cases. I am speaking about the normal ones.

Children live in a different city. Grandparents live in a different city alone. Why don't the children ask their parents to stay along with them. I understand, in their busy lives they may not be able to give them attention, but doesnt parents give attention to children how much ever busy they are? So should not the children do the same?

I do see cases where parents leave their children under grandparents care and go for work. That is in a sense nice. But then blaming them for the behaviour of their child is not right too.

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Freethinker112

@Freethinker112

Sparkler

Posted: 12 years ago

This is your idea of weekend fun, more typing? 😆

The things is that I never had the fortune of getting grandparent's love. Grandparents from my mother sides died before i was even born, and those from my Dad's side also left us when I was 1 year old or so. So, I have no personal experience with them, my post is just my opinion by the experience of people and how I have seen them with grandparents.

The problem of not living together has arose from the mass migration. People of villages want to go to city, people of cities want to go to metro, people of metro want to go to foreign, etc. They then have their family in the new places. But the grandparents have an attachment to their native place. I have seen some cases where they don't want to give up their own home to go live with their kids. Another problem is the rocket high cost of living in India, especially in urban areas. It's difficult for people to own a big place to live.

Living together also doesn't come without a mess of its own. The older generation feel as if they are losing the control, and any insult from their grown up kids might hurt them. Some kids do behave very badly with the old people, I have personally visioned one such case. Not to say that the children are always at fault, sometimes the old ones too take insult at any disagreement and make a big deal out of nothing.

Yes, kids are missing out on things. Grandparents have vast experience and they can guide you through many problems. They also are from another time, and it's fascinating to hear those old stories. It's a way of living those times we weren't here. I love to listen those recollections from my parents.

As to the control, that's where most problems arise from. As a kid we are used to our parent's authority, we also resent t many times. And there is hope that once I get independent, I will be truly independent. But even after growing up and having financial independence, if their parents still try to control them, it creates anger. I am never in favor of parents dominating, and this holds especially after the kids have kids of their own. They should treat them like adults living with them. They should discuss matter, give advice, etc. But let the grown up child make the decision. Forcing it at that age will only break the bonding.

I think the want to stay away has mostly to do with the shackles some might feel if their parents dominate them. They can't wait to be truly free. I sometimes can't wait to move out so that my mother doesn't nag me any more. Although career has it's place, it's not like they can't keep their parents with them later on.

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Shwetha

@Shwets1502

Achiever

+ 2

Posted: 12 years ago

@FT More typing is my fun😆 Seriously, could not think of anything else😊

Parents here I refer to grandparents...kids are their children and grandchildren are their children😆

I agree with the point of older generation people not wanting to leave their village or house and hence are not living with the children. But nowadays we see parents and kids living in the same city and yet in different houses. Is it because parents too want to live independently and does not want to live in the shadow of their children? Sometimes, I find parents and children living in the same street also, but have their own lives.

Children does want to live independently and hence move away from parents and stay separately. True they would want their own space. But is it right? When parents live with children, children should also live with parents right?

What happens is, when one generation starts following this, the forthcoming generation will do the same, and the idea of having parents along with them will vanish in few years.

My grandmother stays with us and I have learnt a lot from her. Even today she tell me old stories, stories which I have already heard 100 times, but she still have the same excitement.

There is also one more point. In the previous generation, grandparents were not as learned as they are now. That creates lots of difference of opinion.

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Freethinker112

@Freethinker112

Sparkler

Posted: 12 years ago

Yes, that also happens, and that's something I couldn't elaborate more on in my post. That is something that depends on people. Some people are more of a attached personality, they would like to live their families as much has possible. Some people are individualists, They prefer spending time on their own. Old people too sometimes like spending time on their own. I don't find that idea bad of them living on their own and meeting frequently. It's something that depends on the people in question.

Children analogy isn't all that accurate, kids have to live with you, they have no means of their own. But once you are able to live on your own, you may do that. I am more of an individualistic person. Not saying that I won't keep my parents with me, but when I grown old, I might not want to live with my kids.

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Shwetha

@Shwets1502

Achiever

+ 2

Posted: 12 years ago

But what about the grandparents love and bonding with their grandchildren?

I used to think it would be better to live on my own. And I did when I had to go for work. I was out of city for 2 months and I could find the difference. Life is not all about being independent and doing things that you like. You may like it for sometime, but you will want your family to be there with you after that.

Now what if the grandparents actually want to spend time with their kids and family? What if they want to live with them but the children don't want?

I agree there are different kinds of people, some wanting to live with their parents and some not. I just want to bring in perspective for all groups.

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Freethinker112

@Freethinker112

Sparkler

Posted: 12 years ago

I don't think it is always necessary to be around for love and bonding.

Yes, this might be my opinion because I haven't lived on my own, so the idea excites me. I have heard the same from many people, that the novelty of living alone wears off after some time. Maybe will happen to me too when I experience that. So, my views are subject to change.

Now, that is a difficult situation. Although I don't think a child should want not to keep their parents at home if that's what they want. If the parents want to live on their own, that's okay, but if they do want to live with you, not keeping them is very wrong of the child.

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Shwetha

@Shwets1502

Achiever

+ 2

Posted: 12 years ago

I just typed a huge post...but the network got disconnected😡 let me not elaborate much.

Grandkids may not know what the love and bond is, but grandparents may want to share a good bond with them. Becoming grandparents gives them huge joy but not able to spend time with them may make them feel bad.

If a person does not feel good to stay at home, because of house rules or strained relationship with parents, they will love to be independent for a long time. But if a person just wants to get the feel of it, they may soon get back to their family.

My grandmother lives with us mostly. Kabhi Kabhi she goes to her other sons home also. She calls them and tells she is coming but her sons never invite her to come. Why does this happen? When a child gets married and has a family of their own, bonding with the parents come down? Why can't they maintain the same bond they had earlier. Honestly, my grandmothers others sons don't even call her frequently to ask how she is. She calls them.

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Freethinker112

@Freethinker112

Sparkler

Posted: 12 years ago

#10

Yes, a person in a family where he feels very much affectionate would never want to leave. The cage is what makes them look up to the freedom.

I wonder this too, how can one not care for their own parents? It's one thing if they were pretty bad/abusive, but how they do get oblivious of loving parents? My conclusion was that I simply dot it down as the fact that there are shitty people in this world.

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DOTW- Importance of grandparents

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