It's time to get real!

I posted this on another thread but felt this warranted a separate topic. I usually don't like to make topics on these kind of subjects, but felt strongly enough to do so this time. I refer to the topics made RE SNS drama off screen. Just my two cents on the subject. Take it or leave it, but I think some sanity needs to prevail. If any kids are reading this, please listen to a grown up who knows what they are talking about.

A lot of these incidents that have taken place lately are a direct result of the unrealistic expectations of fans. Their uncalled for interference etc. While I think Nalini and co's behaviour bordered on immature, one thing is a fact, people need to understand what is Real and what is Reel! Fans need to understand they cannot dictate the terms of an actors life. They don't choose their friends to please fans. They can't cut loose people who have been in their lives to please fan's either. Frankly I would not respect them if they did. Even if fan's don't like said people, they should stand by them! That is what a real friend / partner would do. This applies to both Zain and Aditi! Zain's friend Nalini and Aditi's BF/ Ex BF Shreedan?

One thing we need to understand, Zain and Aditi do not need to be great friends, date, or fall in love to do a good job as Neil and Avni. It is their job to act and they are doing a great job of it. The rest is just unnecessary drama and white noise. Yes it's nice if the co-actors are friends, great if they fall in love and get married (if they are in that stage of their life). But just like we don't become great friends with every work colleague, we don't fall for or marry every work colleague, the same applies here! WHY can't people just get this? It's no different for actors. The only difference is that we don't go to work and get paid to Pretend to be in love with our work colleague, but these people do! That is the ONLY difference!

Aditi gets on well with her work colleagues. She works hard and she is loved by them. She may not spend all her down time with them, but that doesn't mean she is anti-social. Zain is more social and maybe he over shares on SNS. Personally I know people like that too! You live and learn. It's not the end of the world! Nalini may wear too much make up, but she is probably a nice person and her friends like her. So clearly they will defend her. Hanging out with Zain should not subject her to abuse and if I was Nalini I would expect my friend / friends to stand by me too! Not leave me to be bashed.

Stop harassing and judging these people. They are human too, and bullying can affect their mental health. Being famous does not make you exempt from having feelings. They feel pain too. I am not saying I am sorry for celebrities, I am just saying respect is a TWO way street. Given them respect, and you will be respected back too!

Regards

Mandy The Banker

bang on

I completely agree with you on this! I have one mantra in my life and I follow that diligently. "You don't really get a copyright on an actors life just because you are their so called fans". YOU DONT OWN THEM. THEY ARE NOT YOUR PROPERTY. AND NEITHER ARE THEY YOUR FAMILY (NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU THINK THEY ARE). Oh trust me, I have read comments like just because we think of you as family, we will tell you. NO!

This is so well written. Rational and sane. I wish everyone could think this way.

Originally posted by: .IamShonali.

I completely agree with you on this! I have one mantra in my life and I follow thatdiligently. "Youdon't really get a copyright on anactors life just because you are their so called fans". YOU DONT OWN THEM. THEY ARE NOT YOUR PROPERTY. AND NEITHER ARE THEY YOUR FAMILY (NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU THINK THEY ARE). Oh trust me, I have read comments like just because we think of you as family, wewill tell you. NO!

They have their own life outside of the show they are doing and they have a right to lead it however they want. You are not someone to judge it. You have no right to judge it. Youdon't know their whole life. You cannot pass comments on their choices (whether they areright orwrong). They will know themselves with time. And no, you aredefinitely not protecting them by 'telling' them. You are making it worse. There are certain actors Idon't like myself. But do I go on theirInstagram to tell them howmuch I HATE them? Do I tell my favorite co-stars and remind them everyday how theyshouldn't hang out with them just because I DONT LIKE THEM? No Idon't. I kid you not, I will not bare anyone telling me that. They are a public figure not apublicproperty.

Even superstars like Shahrukh Khan have rebuked trollers for their language and the way they talk. Whycan't these people stop such immature bunch too? Everyone have their own patience level. Not everyone can take that amount of negativity and that too for no reason. Yes, if they are reacting on some constructive criticism on the way they deliver on their work, sure they could be wrong. But just because they arepublic figures, I think its unfair of us to expect them to not react AT ALL at the personal attacks they endure everyday. Its likeindirectly we are giving encouragement to those immaturebunch tocontinue theirnonsense no matter what! Thoseimmature bunch needs to be stopped and not the actors at this point. And I wasalso taken aback with some reactions. I am not trying to attack anyone here. If Zain, Jahan and anyone else said anything to them, it was JUST FOR THOSE TROLLERS AND IMMATURE BUNCH. Itwasn't for the whole fandom. So if youweren't the ones constantly going on their accounts and attacking them on their personallife and choices, then their responses,weren't meant for you! It is as simple as that. Yes, if you are the one going and constantly rubbing those rubbish on their faces every chance you get, yes, it is meant for you and you effing deserve to hear it from them. These people areworking extremely hard, long hours and at the end of the day if they chose to hangout with the people they like, whycan't they? Yes, if the person is not right, they will figure it out after and deal with it. ITS THEIR LIFE AND THEIR CHOICES whether anyone likes it or not. Give them a break.

Live and let live! Peace out!

PS:Don'tmean to offend anyone. I have been trying to avoid this offscreen topic a lot. Evensome of my close friends here on the forum knows how much I hateand dread talking about theoffscreen and their personal lives. But since I saw this post, Icouldn'tcontrol and shared by two cents. And Darcy, thank you for this post!

PS: Not meant for the people who discuss maturely in private. That is different. It is only meant for the people who do nothing but make mountain out of molehills on the actors personalaccounts and their lives.

Well said Shonali .. i share ur same view n msged the same on another post..
I wish those immature bunch atleast understand now n stop commenting on Nalini n co on a personal level .. these ppl haven't left Gulfam mam too.. Such dirty comments on her too for hanging out with Zain..I wish thy realize how thy wud have felt being in these Womens shoes.. disgusting

Originally posted by: MrDarcyfan

I posted this on another thread but felt this warranted a separate topic. I usually don't like to make topics on these kind of subjects, but felt strongly enough to do so this time. I refer to the topics made RE SNS drama off screen. Just my two cents on the subject. Take it or leave it, but I think some sanity needs to prevail. If any kids are reading this, please listen to a grown up who knows what they are talking about.

A lot of these incidents that have taken place lately are a direct result of the unrealistic expectations of fans. Their uncalled for interference etc. While I think Nalini and co's behaviour bordered on immature, one thing is a fact, people need to understand what is Real and what is Reel! Fans need to understand they cannot dictate the terms of an actors life. They don't choose their friends to please fans. They can't cut loose people who have been in their lives to please fan's either. Frankly I would not respect them if they did. Even if fan's don't like said people, they should stand by them! That is what a real friend / partner would do. This applies to both Zain and Aditi! Zain's friend Nalini and Aditi's BF/ Ex BF Shreedan?

One thing we need to understand, Zain and Aditi do not need to be great friends, date, or fall in love to do a good job as Neil and Avni. It is their job to act and they are doing a great job of it. The rest is just unnecessary drama and white noise. Yes it's nice if the co-actors are friends, great if they fall in love and get married (if they are in that stage of their life). But just like we don't become great friends with every work colleague, we don't fall for or marry every work colleague, the same applies here! WHY can't people just get this? It's no different for actors. The only difference is that we don't go to work and get paid to Pretend to be in love with our work colleague, but these people do! That is the ONLY difference!

Aditi gets on well with her work colleagues. She works hard and she is loved by them. She may not spend all her down time with them, but that doesn't mean she is anti-social. Zain is more social and maybe he over shares on SNS. Personally I know people like that too! You live and learn. It's not the end of the world! Nalini may wear too much make up, but she is probably a nice person and her friends like her. So clearly they will defend her. Hanging out with Zain should not subject her to abuse and if I was Nalini I would expect my friend / friends to stand by me too! Not leave me to be bashed.

Stop harassing and judging these people. They are human too, and bullying can affect their mental health. Being famous does not make you exempt from having feelings. They feel pain too. I am not saying I am sorry for celebrities, I am just saying respect is a TWO way street. Given them respect, and you will be respected back too!

Regards

Mandy The Banker

U said it al Mandy.. n I totally agree with u :)

Mandy do you remember one of the SBS segments in which Zain and Nalini cleared that they aren't dating each other . Then what kind of maturity that so called fans of Zain show by constantly pestering them with the same question . Even if they date fans have nothing to do with that . They have no say on that . Be it Zain / Aditi / Nalini we know them only through media and IVs . We never know them close . We are not in sets to understand what is actually going on there . We never knew what kind of Aditi shares with her Co stars . So we have no right to comment over that. Earlier Aditi was bashed for being cold in IVs and now when their IVs are becoming better fans feel like they fell in love . If you just read the comments below you can get . The way Zain looks at Aditi / she looks at him while giving IVs . I find it as their habit. To say I even have that habit . These fans have issues with anything and everything . Nalini was actually so patient handling the hatred . When when line was crossed she blocked some people and was bashed for that . Now if her friends defend her it's nothing wrong . We expect our friends to support us in such situations.

I completely m unanimous your points. In fact I myself have said in many places this at the end of day these celebrities are nobody in viewers real life just mere characters of fantasy world. But this is also true that in real life a celebrity has to live in many type of fans,followers. All these people won't understand the way we are understanding this point. Those are senile ppl you even don't make them understand this point because they understand it from before n won't cross limitation ever to interfere in actor's real life but those are juvenile in thought how much you make them understand they won't understand over turn you will have to face wrath of them. These type of people aren't even less in number at least from the last fiasco between zain n these followers I've observed it. Now it's completely matter of an actor how he'll handle these immature people maturely. You,me or many of us won't gonna comment about his or aditi's real life in their comment boxes but we can't even enable to stop those are immaturely commenting about their personal issues in their comment boxes. Last time aditi faced controversy due to her bf n this time zain has faced due to his friend. It's completely an impossible work to make understand somebody who doesn't want to understand. However I'm not telling it's any suggestion for zain n aditi as they have arranged big followers by their own wonderful work so they themselves will have to handle them but how it's completely their matter. But one thing they can easily do n it's to refrain sharing their personal life in social media much (because they are public figure so their every step will be discussed among their followers)so as to these followers can remain in very distant from their personal life. That's all my pov on this matter.:-)

I don't have a very clear idea about what has been happening between Zain's gang vs fans in the social media... Just have a little knowledge from the forum...