Current track|AvNeil RS: It's Not Fate, It's Us| Part 3-Pg 7 (Oct 10) - Page 3

A moment is all it takes

For everything to crumble

Just when you thought you could walk through this

Your steps begin to stumble

It is human emotions that's the most fragile

O' dear, you need to treat them with care

One mistake is all it takes

To push things to damage beyond repair

What do you do now?

When the clouds look so dark.

Could you ever let the repercussions go,

And bring her to a fresh start?

That night, when Neil Khanna came home, he was rendered speechless.

And the reason wasn't just the conspicuously disappointed countenances of his family members, but also the fact that his constantly darting eyes couldn't meet the sight of the one he was looking for.

Avni.

His Avni.

His heart clenched as he found she was nowhere to be found.

And with that came a pang from within him, giving him the worst flash of Avni not being in the house. In that very moment, everything twisted from inside him, and he restlessly looked everywhere inside the house, and as if his worst fear came true, he heard Bebe say,

'Jise tu dhund raha hai, wo nahi hai yahan. Chali gayi wo bachchi. Avni chali gayi.''

(The one you are looking for, is not here. The poor girl left. Avni left)

Neil's eyes went wide in shock as he registered what those words went and before he could even ask something further, he noticed for the first time, a big disappointment on the face of Shweta as well as Prakash, followed by Kareena, Maddy bua, as if he had not just upset Avni but also them.

And he knew, they were right in thinking so.

But the selfish part of him that only wanted to know about Avni was restless, too restless, and so when he had barely begun to ask, 'Where is she-' Bebe interrupted him again and averred, 'Why do you care? You left her at the altar! You should be happy, no?''

Neil felt like every word that escaped Bebe's mouth was a direct slap on his face and as much as he knew that he deserved it all, it hurt him insanely.

'DD has already told us that Juhi is fine now and the accident was not a major one. But you know what, Neil? It's better you stay with Juhi only. As much as I love Avni who is my beloved daughter in law, I cannot make her stay in this house knowing that my own grandson is still not over his past love and will not think twice before going after his ex-girlfriend abandoning his wife!''

That was it.

Bebe's words acted as a toxic essence on his skin and he felt himself burn at the affect of it as his fingers curled into tight fists, unable to take it from Bebe, in front of whom he had himself confessed just a few days back that it was Avni whom he loved and wanted to spend his life with, and Juhi was indeed his past.

Unable to bear the heat of those tormenting words anymore, he had left from the place, his own house, and headed towards Neela Maa's house.

.

.

With every gear he changed and every turn he took, only Avni's face flashed before his eyes.

Her beautiful face, in that translucent veil she wore for the wedding.

Their wedding.

Which he had left in the middle, leaving his wife, his Avni crestfallen.

'Damn it!''

He slammed his fist against the steering wheel as a new tinge of pain surfaced, but it was nothing compared to the pain he was feeling from within whenever he thought about how much he had hurt Avni, and what she must be thinking of him after all of this.

He knew it was a damage beyond repair and honestly, didn't know if he could fix it in this birth.

Everything was so perfect.

Everything looked good to go.

He had had the worst phase of life going on when Avni was trapped inside of Rang Mahal, that too risking her life for the sake of his ex-girlfriend.

But that was his Avni.

She acted like she was designed to help people, be selfless, not even for a second thinking about her own safety.

And then he had finally rescued her.

He had rescued Juhi and the other girls trapped inside too, but nothing gave him more peace and satiety than the feeling of having his wifey back in his arms.

He had promised her that he would never let her go away from him and neither would he ever step away from her.

And now he just cursed himself under his breath as he came to terms with the fact that today at the altar, he had simply done what he had promised her he would never do.

He had left her.

Without giving her a reason.

.

.

A lone tear escaped his eye as he recollected yet again.

Everything was so perfect.

Until he went to meet Juhi, just to tell her how much happy he was that now she was a free soul, and also admit to her that now he loved only and only Avni, and he only wished the best for her and would do everything in his capability to ensure that she could start her life afresh, once again.

But little did he know that what Juhi would reveal was not just going to make him spellbound, but also send him to an extreme of a guilt trip.

Her revelation that she had a kid, a girl to be precise, with him, had pushed Neil off the edge.

While he had straightaway denied even the remotest possibility of something like that happening, because in retrospect he had never gotten intimate with her, she had given him facts in her own accord about how whatever he could not recall now had happened during a New Year's party, almost a month before her disappearance from his life, under the influence of alcohol.

That moment had been a whirlwind for Neil as all sporadic thoughts came his way unannounced and he was only clouded with too many things at once.

He didn't know what to do.

This was a predicament that he never thought he would find himself ensnared in., a quandary that had no sane answer.

On one hand, the revelation of such a grave thing completely shook him off guard. And on another hand, what bugged him more was the fact that he was hardly aware of how to react to all this.

Was he supposed to feel guilty yet again that he had no clue about this alleged child of his with Juhi?

Or was he supposed to feel even more guilty about the fact that even after all this, all he cared about was thinking how would Avni react to this news, because in his head, he was prepared that he would never ever let Avni walk away from him.

.

.

After the most unceremonious jolt of his life, when he had finally decided to tell Avni about all of this, he was again oblivious that the one thing that he had so impatiently waited for all these months to hear from Avni's mouth, was just going to greet him now.

Yes, his Avni had gone down on one knee and asked him, if he would accept her with all her flaws, all her shortcomings, and start a new life with her.

He had been overwhelmed.

Was this girl for real?

How can someone be so, so pleasantly different?

How can someone be so beautiful, not just on the outside but also on the inside?

.

His heart had swollen with joy and pride, his ears refusing to believe that she had finally, finally confessed her feelings to him and could he ask for more?

But right then the other apparent truth of his life had hit him and only an uncertain expression had taken over his visage as he had confessed to her.

'You don't know how happy I am today Avni! This was something I had waited for SO long, to hear from you. You don't know the happiness you have given me today.''

And he too had poured his heart out to her, with his feelings.

But he kept the most dreaded part for the last, and when he had finally confessed what Juhi had revealed to him some time ago, his apprehension knew no bounds.

A wide range of 'what ifs'' had popped inside his head, all of which had been linked to the inhibition that what would he do if Avni chose to leave him after knowing about this alleged child he had with Juhi.

Alledgedyes, that's the word that echoed even inside his head as he brought the child in question to the equation, because despite Juhi's words, her confession, there was a part of him that still refused to believe the possibility of him having a child with her.

A pragmatic part of him prompted that technically there was no reason for Juhi to lie, but an innate part of him only suggested, there was more than what met the eye.

But he couldn't do wrong to Avni.

She had every right to know about him, she deserved to know it. Be it something good, bad, or worse about him, she needed to know.

And hence, at that moment, Neil Khanna was in for another shock when Avni had embraced his baggage without a thought about her own happiness and said, she accepts him with all that he is.

He would be lying if he said he couldn't see the brimming sorrow in her eyes at the realization of her husband having been so close to some other woman from his prior life, so much that he confessed of fathering a child with her, but Avni was...

She was truly a wonder.

An Ajooba.

She could go to any lengths to go good for others, letting go of her own happiness.

And so, being utterly tongue-tied, he had pulled her into a bone crushing hug, one where their chests collided intimately against each other, as he kissed her hair and pulled her as close as humanly possible.

That very moment, Neil Khanna knew, she was the only one he ever wanted in his life. The only one who could make him weak and strong, both at the same time. The only one he wanted to spend his whole life with.

He wanted to grow old with her.

He wanted to always have her close to himself.

He wanted to have the most beautiful babies with her.

.

.

'THEN WHAT THE FU*K HAPPENED AT THE WEDDING, NEIL!!!''

He came back to the present as slammed his fist against the steering wheel of the car once again and ran his fingers through his hair in frustration, recalling that painful moment and face of Avni once again, when he had gotten that untimely call from DD, who had informed her that Juhi had met with an accident.

.

As he finally pushed the brakes of the car, making it come to a screeching halt outside Neela's house, he knew that what he did was unpardonable.

He was also sure that maybe Avni would forgive him for this grave sin sooner or later, but he would never be able to forgive himself.

His eyes were dark and red as he watched his own reflection in the car's rearview mirror, his conscience questioning him like a separate entity, 'What do YOU want?''

And the answer just came on its own accord..

Avni.

He closed his eyes as the tiredness from the day began to take a toll on his body and he went on to have a monologue with himself, albeit too quietly, as if he was just enunciating everything inside his head.

He was protective about Avni, he was possessive about her.

Just one thought of her going even a little away from him was enough to make him go into a frenzy.

He loved Avni, a little too much.

She was his respite, his life, his lifeline, and the one that could make it or break it for him.

Then why did he hurt her so much?

His chest clenched as his conscience put that next question and he recalled how he had run away from the wedding venue to attend to Juhi.

Maybe, someone had said it right.

We only hurt the person we love the most.

We only take a person for granted, in whom we confide more than anything else.

He knew that what he felt for Juhi as on today was nothing more than something platonic. His guilt was bigger than anything. The guilt of staying oblivious to the fact that she was alive for all these five years. The guilt of staying oblivious to the fact that she was living her life in a hell hole.

But amid all this, he still didn't feel guilty after knowing about that alleged child at all.

Hell, he could never ever even come to believe that he had a child with someone else other than Avni.

But what he did today, was incorrigible.

He let his guilt act bigger than his love for Avni, and gave her so much pain, on a day that was supposed to be the happiest for both of them, the day that was supposed to mark the start of their new life together.

He roughly wiped off his tears and stepped out of his sedan.

In quick strides he reached the main door and rang the door bell.

Neela opened the door after two minutes and like everyone else, she too had a disappointed expression on her face, making Neil look down in his guilt.

'Neela maa-'

He had only begun, but Neela stopped him, gesturing with her hand, as she said,

'No need to give me any explanation Neil. I am not going to blame you, shout at you, or be angry at you about anything. The only thing that I want to tell you is that, today you did something I never ever expected you to do. You made Avni go through the saddest day of her life yet again. You did exactly what Ashish Mehta had done to her Ayesha Maa, leaving her alone at the wedding altar.''

Those words were the most brutal slap on Neil's face as his eyes went wide in shock hearing what Neela said, and for a moment he felt like his breathing would stop.

His moment with Avni from a few months back flashed before his eyes where he had told her with conviction that he was NOT Ashish Mehta, and look at the irony! Today he had done something that indeed made him a new version of Ashish Mehta!

No.

He was not like Ashish Mehta.

He was never going to walk out on Avni.

He loved her. More than himself.

He told himself as he stepped inside Neela's house, and told her, his voice breaking as he uttered, 'Neela Maa, please. Hate me all you want but don't ever think I would do something that Ashish Mehta had done. Avni is my life. I will never let her go away from him.''

Neela smiled sadly at his little confession and averred in a very soft voice, 'You call her your life Neil, but funny thing is, you don't flinch before leaving your life, alone at the altar, having to deal with the scrutinizing gazes of the crowd, being broken, just because something from your ex-girlfriend pops up!''

And there again Neela's words were another reality check for Neil as he let out a sigh, knowing how every word that she said bore the weight of truth.

He tried to compose himself but failed miserably at it as he said, 'Neela Maa.. Please. At this moment, it is very important for me to talk to Avni. Please let me.''

Neela out of all the people had known that Neil was genuinely in love with her daughter and he actually meant it when he said he would do anything for her. But she also knew that sometimes love and professing love was just not enough, and one had to put the impact of their words into their actions and only then can they make the other realize how worthy they are.

She sighed as she wiped off her tears, and told Neil in a soft but steady voice, 'She is not here Neil. She left.''

.

.

If fear was a person, today it was Neil Khanna.

As Neela's words greeted his ears, hi head throbbed and heart clenched at the implication of what Neela said and before he could ask what she meant, his feet strode ahead on their own accord towards Avni's room, and as soon as he entered it, an eerie silence enveloped him in.

She was here.

Sometime ago.

He could tell.

Her scent was still so prominent in the air of the room. It was something he had grown so fond of in all these months that they had stayed together.

But she was not here.

'Avni''

Her name escaped his lips brokenly, but what he saw next only shattered him into pieces, as his sight settled at the shelf of her dressing table, where lay silently, her mangalsutra and the ring that he had made her wear yesterday.

He trembled as he took both of those objects in his hand, enclosing them within his fist, as raw emotions surfaced inside of him, the ones that consisted of, anger, helplessness, and a feeling that was inexplicable.

He was angry, because she dared to remove those two accessories that meant the world to him, for they marked her as his.

He was helpless because he knew the reason for this misery, this fiasco, was only and only him.

And he was feeling that inexplicable feeling, for he knew, that if Avni walked out of his life, he would fall into darkness forever, and this time he would never ever revive. Because Avni was his life, and if she wasn't with him, he was as good as dead.

'No!''

He uttered in a headstrong voice as he clutched her accessories more.

'I will win you back, Avni! You are mine! And it's high time I make you realize, I am only and only yours!''

**