FF: Just another evening by Meena Jain update pg4

sakhisangni thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#1
JUST ANOTHER EVENING,@ THE INCREDIBLE BHATNAGARS'...

Its 8 PM and a car pulls up into the porch of the Bhatnagars' house. A whistling Mohan gets out of the car, and walks up to the door of his house, spinning the car key around his index finger. Mohan presses the calling bell, and waits for the most beautiful woman of his world to answer it. As her answering seemed to be taking little longer today, he turns around to watch yet two other beautiful women of his life, no less important to him, walking up slowly, carrying things they had shopped. They seemed too busy in their conversation . Chawanni is what he has always called the elder one, Navika Bhatnagar aka Nanhi. The curious reporter listens as their conversation is now audible.

NANHI : "Arrey is mein kya interesting he??Adventurous toh mera bachhpan the.. I was even kidnapped ..hehe ..hain na spiderman??"

TEENY: "KIDNAP??Kyun??"

Mohan looks at Nanhi with that expression, (The same he had in that episode when Guru says (wo hum abhi aaphi ke bare mein baat kar rhe the, in Megha's presence)..

NANHI: " Ehh...wohh..bass...aise hi...wo kya hein na... mein to itni cute thi...issliye everyone wanted to take me away for themselves..ehee.."

He nods his head on a mocking note and says : " Smart to tum ho. But ye mat bhool.. ki tumhari tarah, ye bhi apne Mummy pe gayi he(pointing to the younger one) "

Having said that, he turns to the door again, knocking impatiently this time.
MOHAN : "Oyy Mirchi Madam...darwaza khuloge kya?? Yaha bahar macchhar kaat rhe ...hello??!! "

Megha opens the door. Turns her back to them immediately and speaks as she walks away.
MEGHA : " Why so early??"

NANHI(sensing the sarcasm in Meghas voice, and responds on the same note): " Maine kaha thaa na , that we'll stay there longer...Dekho abb...mummy ne khud kaha"

MEGHA: " Achha. To sab log bina mere sath hi khush he .Tab to fault mera hi he." And walks away.

Just as Mohan says "Arreyyy" in reflex, she disappears into a room.
Nanhi and Mohan exchange confused looks.

MOHAN : "Abb teri mummy ko kya hua he??"

" Hua yehh.. Unhe aaj yeh realisation hua ki jitna pyar unhone mujhe diye he aajtak , sab gaya paani mein." ADDU comes out of his room to join them.

MOHAN : "Hmmm...kuchh dino se Mirchi bass Nanhi aur mujhpe gussa uthar rhi he...Lagta he aaj tera number he?! Haha...ok abb jokes apart, matter kya hei??

(Addu has completed his class twelfth. He has got admissions to few good colleges nearby, much to Megha's relief. But Addu, a cricket freak since times immemorial, views it seriously now. Mohan has always encouraged him, for he himself is a man who follows his heart. Addu finds he could easily get into one of the best Academy's in the country, and also the he could join a college there so that he could keep them going in parallel. But Megha however doesn't buy this idea, as this would mean Addu leaving miles away, to a different part of the country .Also she fears that this would eclipse his academics. Mohan, as expected is thrilled at the news that Addu is pursuing his dreams )

MOHAN : "Wahh..Not bad Mr. Aditya Bhatnagar. Congratulations !!"

ADDU : " Thanks ! Par dekho na ,tumhari Mirchi madam kaise react kar rhi he ??"

MOHAN : Achha yahi baat hein...??

MOHAN( shouts out to Megha) :" Arrreeyy Madamm, sunna... is baat keliye ye melodrama karne ki kya zaroorat hei..."

MEGHA : "Kya?? Mein bhi kabhi drama karti hu kya??"

"Yeah Right" Nanhi says in reflex.

MEGHA: "NANHIII..."

Nanhi looks away, wanting to escape Megha's stare . Mohan signals her to stay away from Megha and asks her to take the seat besides Addu and himselves. She sits down, her little sister on her lap.

MEGHA : "At least tum to samajhne ki koshish karo Mohan ! Tumhe yaad hein na .. Wo mere bina ek din bhi kaha reh pata tha?? Aur ab dekho.. Meri ekk nhi sunta hei...Tumne poochha kya chaahta hei wo?? ...Aurr, aurr woh bhi cricket keliye?? Already baki sab kaam mein lazy hein . Padhayi to kabhi karta hi nhi hein"
?
MOHAN : " I don't agree. Arrey ussko toh har bar decent scores milte hein.. Aur baat cricket ki,agar Sachin Tendulkar ki maa bhi aisi hoti toh ? Sochho ek baar!"

MEGHA : " Mohan tum bhi na...chhodo..mujhe koi baat nhi karni he..." And she sits with her face covered in hands, facing down..

All the rest exchange glances.. everybody wanted to laugh, but they knew Megha would adorn an even more dangerous avtar if they did, so they kept quiet.

Addu looks at Mohan with "bachaao yaar " expression.

Nanhi gestures to him , Rubbing her eyes.

ADDU: "ehh??"

NANHI(whispers): Arrey Idiot, senti ho jao!

Addu instantly gears up, filling up his eyes with fake tears. He gets up from his seat, and sits on the floor , near the sofa where his mom was seated alone. Teeny moves out of Nanhi's lap, takes Addu's seat, and comfortably fits herself between her Didi and Dad. Mohan instantly puts his arm around her, gesturing a Thumbs up to Addu at the same time". The trio are all set to watch the Maa -Beta emotionally charged scene.

ADDU : "Mummy , aap hi mere liye sabse important he... Aur me ye bhi jaanta hoo , aap sabse zyaada pyar mujhse hi karte he.."

At the last line, Teeny with a sad face turns to her sister ,also in disbelief :" Sachh mein?? Aur ham theeno ka kya??"

NANHI : " Shhh...nhi yaar bhaiya acting kar rha he..abb chhup"

Addu begins to sob . Mohan and Nanhi are shocked at the way he is overacting.

Mohan leans over to Nanhi and whispers " Baap re! Lagta hei iss performance keliye usse Oscar zaroor milega " .Nanhi suppresses a laughter.

Megha raises her head . She seems moved by Addu's words. She eyes him as he speaks.

ADDU continues :"Par haa mummy..Aapko rulake mujhe kuchh nhi chahiye.. Agar aap mujhse kahenge naa, to mein ruk jaaunga ...After all, cricket kabhi mummy se important ho sakta hei kya ?? Aur wo bhi mere liye?? "

MEGHA : "Accha? To ruko na !!"

Addu is stumped. And looks down.He decides to give up, gets up and leaves. He shakes his head and signals to the others that he gives up."Kuchh nhi hoga mera,MIRCHI MADAM IS ALWAYS IMPOSSIBLE !!"

MEGHA gets up. "Waise Addu,.."

Addu turns around .

MEGHA (continues) : "Bhagwan keliye aisi acting kabhi mat karna... wo...wo academy mein jaakar kabhi aisa karoge na, to pata nhi tumhara kya karenge wahan ke log !! J " And a smile spreads over her face.

And it seems happiness is contagious in the Bhatnagar house. The smile spread from Megha to Addu to Nanhi to Mohan to the little one.
Yes, Megha can't give in easily, but in the end she can't help doing the same too !

ADDU : "YESSS!!!!!!Thank you Mummy " and runs to hug her. " Waise Mummy, mein ab bhi wahi same old Addu hoon... Who likes to sleep besides you.. To kya mein aajse aapke saath so sak..."

Mohan quickly cuts in , in reflex :
"Abbey Piddi..To mera kya??..teri wajah se pehle bhi meine kitne chances miss kiya tha !!"

Addu and Nanhi are taken aback for a moment, but then they burst out into laughter. Mohan realises what he just said and faces away from them in embarrassment.

TEENY : "Kya chances miss kiya??"

MOHAN: "Woo..wwo...kahani sunne ka chance...raat mein..Mummy k paas na, bahaut saari kahaaniyaa hei.."

As Nanhi watches Mohan struggling to convince his little one, Nanhi's thoughts take a flash back mode :



**************************FLASHBACK SCENE ********************************

Chawanni and Spiderman walk hand in hand In Juna Mohalla .

Nanhi :"Spiderman Honeymoon kya hota hei ??"
Mohan : "Wo vacation manana."
Nanhi : "Par shaadi ke baad hi kyun??"

**************************************************************************


Nanhi smiles in thoughts: " Mera spiderman kabhi nhi badlega ! " J

The five incredible Bhatnagars enjoy a good laughter session and then Megha walks away, smiling, yet embarrassed at Mohan's Chance wala joke.

She turns around to have one more look at the four awesome people who make up her beautiful world smiling and enjoying, but only to see that Mohan was already eyeing her.

Instantly he winks, and sends a kiss flying to her !!! (The typical Mohan style)
And they fall in love, all over again !! J

**************************************
Edited by sakhisangni - 12 years ago

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Meera_Ka_Mohan thumbnail
13th Anniversary Thumbnail Dazzler Thumbnail Commentator Level 1 Thumbnail
Posted: 12 years ago
#2
Its so Beautiful...👏
shivangi838 thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#3
Awww too cute and too cute. kudos to the writer.😊👏
Lekz thumbnail
15th Anniversary Thumbnail Rocker Thumbnail + 3
Posted: 12 years ago
#4
Very nice, so NBTish...Mohan and his family ...
wonder if we will get to see all this...
Kudos...👏
sakhisangni thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#5
Thanks everyone. It's quite encouraging for a young writer like her 😊
meghan27 thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#6
Awww Its so beautiful 😊 , funny😆🤣😆 and romantic ❤️☺️
dsgirl thumbnail
13th Anniversary Thumbnail Rocker Thumbnail
Posted: 12 years ago
#7
nyc one..sweet, romantic and funny at d same time..loved d dialogue where mohan says teri wajah se maine pehle bhi kitne chances miss kiye the..lovely it is😊
sakhisangni thumbnail
13th Anniversary Thumbnail Dazzler Thumbnail Commentator Level 1 Thumbnail
Posted: 12 years ago
#8
This is the second part from the same writer


IT'S FAMILY TIME !!!!! (Part-1)

Addu's date of joining is just a week away now. Though no one really displayed any cheesy sentimental emotion, it was a fact that all of them, especially Megha were dreading the approaching date. Mohan realises that all need to come out of this gloomy state . Hence and also since it has been quite some time since they all went on a leisure trip, Mohan decides that the entire family would go on a road trip stretched over days , across states. And at the end of it, they would drop Addu off at his new place. Everyone loved the idea and the plan is laid out very well. Owing to everybody's compulsion, Guru, who was little hesitant initially, joins them too J

SCENE 1
It begins at around 7 in the morning, in the living room of the Bhatnagar's house. There are mattresses spread on the floor and Megha is seen shaking and trying to wake Mohan and Addu up from sleep. ( Yes, all five of them had decided to sleep together the night before, for obvious reasons) Nanhi and Teeny are seen pacing in and out of rooms, packing and getting ready.
Megha :"Mohan aur Addu , bass. Hum theeno ko bhi utna hi time mila thaa sone ke liye. Guru bhi aayega 20 mins mei .Udho abb"
At the last line, Mohan who was till then lazy,jumps up and asks :"Kya?? uss aalsi ne wahaa se already start bhi kiya? Aur mujhe bataya bhi nhi??"
Megha : " Itni choti baat kisliye kahega wo?? Tum uski biwi ho kya?"
Mohan : "Nhi..WOHH, MERI "
Megha: "Kuchh bhi. Abb udho." (beats Addu on his hands , to wake him up)
Megha picks up the quilts from bed and leaves. Mohan and Addu gets out of the bed. The latter leaves while Mohan is seen making a call from his cell.
Parallely, Guru is shown happily singing and driving an SUV in the city.( The Guru tune is played in the BG )
Guru(to himself): "Dekhi, meri driving. Ekdum firssht claas. Bhaiyya ye jaanta hei. Magar maante nhi. Aaj toh dekhenge kaise baaki sab Guru ko aprshyyy(pauses in confusion)...matlb tariff karenge mera,haa."
( They had hired an SUV for the trip as their car wouldn't be spacious enough. And it was decided that Guru would bring it home that morning of the trip).
His phone rings. He sees "Bhaiyya Calling " flashing on it. He says "Ohhho" and answers through earphones, as always.
Guru: " Haelo, Drive kar rha hoon mein .Dishturb mat karo"
Mohan: " Chupp... Aur sunnna,...wo"
Guru: "Pata hei pata hei...Wo sab maine kal hi kiya tha. Aur gaadi mei rakh bhi diya. Ab phone bhi rakhta hoon,hha"
The call is cut before Mohan could say another word. Mohan passes a quick smile at the other end folding his lips to a side, as he ends the call -half impressed with Guru for doing something he had asked him to do, half at the fact that Guru 'hears' everything even before Mohan says them. There still are certain sides of Mohan that only Guru would understand-certain sides that even Mohan wants ONLY Guru( Not even Megha) to understand .
SCENE 2
All are now dressed up. Mohan goes to Addu's room where he is seen doing some last minute packing. Mohan watches the energetic young boy for sometime and then speaks up, seeing Addu's purse on his table.
Mohan : "Sunn, tumhe aur paise chaaiye kya?"
Addu: "Arrey nhi Spiderman..Manage kar loonga", not eyeing Mohan, continuing the packing.
Mohan takes out his purse and transfers some cash into Addu's .
Addu : "Arreyy..."
Mohan : " Kabhi movie dekne ka mann hoga, kabhi chaat khane kha ! So.." and winks.
Addu smiles thankfully. Mohan suddenly notices a photograph in his purse. A credit card sized photo of the five Bhatnagars. Addu notices that and snatches the purse away. Well, the insensitive young Aditya did not want Mohan , or anyone for that matter, to see his softer side ! Prestige issues !
Addu: "Yeh sentimence nhi hei ok? Inspiration ke liye hei . Chaaron se in one way or the other milte hei inspiration !"
Mohan : "Achha, mujhse kya inspiration milti hei??"
Addu ( quotes in style): " Be as bad as you can. Baktameezi karo. Shaitaani karo. Log phir bhi tumhe pasand karenge"!!
Mohan :(Shaking his head, smiling at the smart reply): " Piddiii,"
Addu( cuts in, with a fake anger ) "Piddi nhi hoo mein"!!
The two men laugh instantly, Mohan pats Addu's shoulder and walks away. Addu watches him and smiles.


SCENE 3
Teeny runs out as she hears the horn , when Guru drives the vehicle up to the porch,and parks it behind their car.
Teeny : "Mummy Guru aur Gaadi aa gaye!"
Guru gets out and hugs her,as she goes running to him. Mohan, Addu and Nanhi bring out the luggage. Guru goes in to fetch the rest. Addu is about to put them in when Mohan says
Mohan : "Addu, Nanhi wo toh mei karoonga, tum dono baki bags leke aao"
Addu turns to leave, but stops near Mohan's bike. He kisses the bike and says "I'll miss you Baby!".
Nanhi gives a bored expression and says : " Itna pyaar hei to saath leke jaa na? Ye separation melodrama to nhi dekhna padega !"
Addu : " Bass few months wait karo. I get my licence and she is mine. Tab toh separation melodrama ye karega ", referring to Mohan.
Mohan: " Koi chance nhi Beta. Mein shaadi shuda hoon par abb bhi wo meri girlfriend hei ! Tum doosra kharid lo job milne ke baad"
Addu : "We'll see ".

SCENE 4
Now all the packing and loading is done.
Megha is about to close the door when Nanhi goes in running "Arey meri bag.Bhul gayi andar"
She comes out with a bag that has all her journalist paraphernalia.
Megha : " Ye pleasure trip hei . Is mein bhi ye sab saath leke jaa rhe ho tum??"
Nanhi : " Journalists hamesha alert and prepared rahte hei. Haina Spiderman??
Mohan: " Bilkul. Teri Mummy nhi samjhegi. Usse to bass achaar papad ..."
Megha throws a look at him that could even kill him.
Mohan: " ehh...Mera matlb, tumne achaar padad aise waise cheez nhi pack kiye hei naa Addu ke liye?? Bahaut old fashioned hei"
Megha : " Jaanti hoon . Nhi pack kiye hei " She walks forward,but then takes a step backwards to face Mohan again.
Megha(firmly) : "Aurr haa. Tumhare 'JOKES' , ussse bhi zyada old fashioned hei Mr. Mohan Bhatnagar!".
Mohan smiles. He loves the way how this "Mirchi" makes his life "Meethi".
SCENE 5
Doors and the gate are locked now and they are ready to leave. Guru has strictly said that driving right would he his, and that Mohan would be given a chance at mercy, that too when Guru feels. Mohan, one of the last two to get in, opens the door next to Guru's seat. Just then Addu comes running from nowhere and gets in before him.
Addu: " Sorry...wo kya hei naa,front row wo logon ke liye hei,jo iss journey mein drive karenge. Hain na Guru??
Guru : " Correct. Bhaiyya, backsheet! Agar Ulti karna hei naa? toh, bol dena ok? ham gaadi shtop kar denge ! " Guru and addu do hi-fi and laugh !
Mohan : "Theek heii" . And shuts the door with lot of force.
Nanhi : "Arrey Guru, Ulti nhi karni padegi. Kyunki back seat to hum dono le liya already! Kisi keliye bhi no entry abb"
Teeny : "Haan.. Hame scenery dekne hei raste mein"
Mohan(smiles) : " Ohhh...Matlabbb( opens the middle rows door) Meri seat, Mirchi madam ke paas hei. Tooohhh theek hei " Quickly gets in and closes the door. He looks at Megha with a romantic expression throughout as he says aloud:
Mohan : "Front row waale aage dekhkar driving pe dyan denge. Back row waale uss taraf, peeche dekhkar scenery enjoy karenge. (Moves closer to Megha)Kyunki middle row waalon ko, thooodi privacy chaaiye...hein na??"
The others laugh. Megha blushes hard as she says "hatt" and pushes him away. He falls back, but does not give in, he pulls her closer forcefully and puts his arm around her shoulder .
Mohan: "Driver, lets go !! " .
Guru gets the wheels rolling.
Megha takes Mohan's other hand in hers and smiles.
Mohan looks at her even more lovingly and says :"Muaaah!!" (This time, only for her to hear)
Screen freezes there.
...To be Continued...




Edited by sakhisangni - 12 years ago
Meera_Ka_Mohan thumbnail
13th Anniversary Thumbnail Dazzler Thumbnail Commentator Level 1 Thumbnail
Posted: 12 years ago
#9
This is too too good,😳 loved the whole write up... hats off to your friend Meena.👏

Loved Mohan and Addu convo... very sweet... never thought Mohan-addu relationship will be this good. Hope to watch similarly in NBT 2.👍🏼

If NBT 2 goes this well, then I am watching the show for sure...

@sakhisangni... tell your friend to continue writing... its awesome.👏👍🏼
Edited by mohan-sun-na - 12 years ago
meghan27 thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#10
Wow... its beautiful and lovely😊❤️🤣

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