||Marriages- Bliss Or Not?||

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@whiterose29

Trailblazer

+ 7

Posted: 10 years ago

"Happy marriages begin when we marry the ones we love and they blossom when we love the ones we marry."

Tom Mullen

Marriage is a sociocultural institution. It is that pillar of institution on which thefoundation of human existence rests. The continuity of society is progeny and that is based on birth. For birth, sexual intercourse between a man and woman is essential.
In our society, the institution of marriage originated to give legal and customary sanction to the sexual relations. In every society, the social and cultural rules affect marriage, which is the reason of their aims being different.

Social scientists have identified four major economies that have existed across the span of human history, namely: Hunting and Gathering, Agrarian, Modern /Industrial, & Service/Knowledge-based economies. Because of Hunting and Gathering, societies existed for millennia. We can just think about temporary partnership between women and men, which emerged in initial stages of these societies. Marriage, on the other hand, is a morerecent institution.

Marriage is a life-long commitment that restrains self-centeredness, self-indulgence and self-gratification. But when it becomes all self - centered game, then it harms not only the relationship but society too as ripples in a pond. Marriage is designed for sex and sex is designed for marriage, non-marital sex ultimately harms the individual and his society.

Augustine said " Peace is the tranquility of order."

History has proven that no community can enjoy peace and harmony without moral order and that can only be established by marriage. Marriage is not a right. It is, instead, a responsibility-a proactive responsibility to the offspring and society. Some may argue that couples who are unable to bear children or those that take steps to prevent conception are exempt from this convention. This isn't true. Because whether or not marital sex acts produce children, marriage undergirds the commitment to each other.

While same-sex couples may enjoy an emotional bond and even engage in sexual acts, they are unable to achieve this one-flesh union due to the fact that there is no such biologicalcommunion which can be achieved through procreative acts. In the absence of this one-flesh union, sex becomes merely instrumental for pleasure and therefore falls into the same category of "self-centered" acts that characterize all non-marital sex.

Edited by whiterose29 - 10 years ago

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AK3

@Amanat

Rocker

+ 4

Posted: 10 years ago

"It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages."
Friedrich Nietzsche

Arranged marriages have been an integral part of the Indian society since ages. Basically a marriage is termed as arranged when it is arranged by people other than those getting married. In the process, it even curtails the phenomena of courtship. The other people involved in the arrangement of the marriage can be parents, match making agents, matrimonial sites or a trusted third party. In fact the task of match making is quite a number of times carried out by priests, religious leaders, trusted relatives, family friends, etc.

In older times, the bride and the groom were neither asked for their consent, nor were they informed about the partner. However, with the evolution of time, the society has also undergone a significant change. Nowadays, in arranged marriages both the girl and the boy are asked for their consent. The process begins with practices like matching the horoscope of the couple for checking the compatibility, the background of the families and their castes.

Pros:

There is an agreement from the parents of both bride and the groom. There are less tensing moments and bride & groom doesn't need to face the wrath of their families.

Dating is a time consuming process. One can get away with it if the marriage is being arranged by the family members.

Both families provide support to the couple financially and emotionally.

In arranged marriages, both the bride and the groom usually have similar family values, religion, and culture. Both families seem to have same financial conditions and backgrounds but there can be conspicuous differences.

Instead of dating and finding out things about the other person, both couples get to find out new and interesting things about each other during the marriage phase which perpetuates memorable moments.

Cons:

You don't get that dating experience which other people do. Also, you don't get the opportunity to identify your ideal soulmate.

The Dowry system is huge in India. The dowry system basically is a situation where the girl's family pays enormous amounts of money or gives other expensive things such as gold, cars etc. to the groom's family, just because groom's family is considered supreme of all.

You could get stuck with a person that simply just have a horrible personality and doesn't care for you. That can often hurt even more when you have kids with the person.

You don't fully know his/her family's background. You don't know anything about them besides what they have told you.

If one person is not mentally prepared, it can further lead to other complications. Also, a divorce could happen. The couple could come to realization that they just aren't meant to be together which is understandable.

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@pancakes

Rocker

+ 7

Posted: 10 years ago

"Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage."
Lao Tzu

Love is the most beautiful thing that God has given to each and every person on this earth. When two people fall in love with each other they dream of a world of staying together. And when that dream culminates into marriage, it is the best that happens. Love is a dream and marriage is an extension to that dream. Love is an ethereal emotion within us, which exists beyond living. When a person is in love, he/she starts loving everything around them. And the company of that person makes even impossible things possible things to do. Hence love is blissful and fun.

In India, the concept of love marriages is growing. At a time when arranged marriages were the only option, the days have changed. Parents now have understood that basic ingredient of love marriage is mutual understanding and love for each other that matters rather than caste or status. Parents now have understood and have a broader perspective and are accepting love marriages with open heart.

But the culture of love marriages is restricted to cities only. In rural areas arranged marriage is the ONLY option.

Just like a coin has 2 sides, love marriages comprises both advantages and disadvantages.

Pros:

The best thing about love marriage is that you get to marry the person you love.

In love marriage, you know the likes and dislikes of each other.

In love marriage, you get a chance to be who you are as well as you are aware of each other's strength and differences.

Cons:

Relationships are based on mutual understanding and commitment and if one partner lacks it then the relationship falls apart.

Expectations can also lead to failure since both know each other, there's a chance of increase in expectations from each other, which, may not take the desired way.

But the biggest drawback is that of adjustment, since love marriages involve coming together of two people who have different cultural backgrounds. And there is probability of cooperating or making compromises which someone might not be able to do.

Hence one must understand, that every relation demands certain kind of attention and needs that are to be fulfilled if he/she wants to lead a happy and successful married life. And this applies to both girl and boy.

Hence, the couple should talk about each other's perspectives before entering into the holy matrimony to avoid future complications.

Edited by pancakes - 10 years ago

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Kalyani Nitin Bujone

@Kore-Soteira

Dazzler

+ 2

Posted: 10 years ago

The institution of marriage has undergone radical changes, since it came into existence. Though marriage has been governed by many rules and regulations yet many revolutionary changes have come about in this institution, as a result of industrialization, urbanization, women's education, impact of western thinking and social reforms. Today, girls are more aware of their rights as human beings, they cannot be pushed into wed-lock with anyone without their consent.

Marriage is an important part of everyone's life as it further leads to formation of family of procreation. We must learn to cherish such a relation, the relation to our better half. It brings the values, views, likes and dislikes of two seemingly different people into one place. Be it Love or arranged, through marriage, we get the opportunity to share the precious moments of our live with someone who will understand us, support us, and love us to no end. Two worlds become one, a very special combination!

A successful marriage calls for the understanding, the trust, the mutual commitment, and the love between the couple. Such bonds will be able to stand strong despite all the storms that come their way.

"A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person."

--Mignon McLaughlin

Edited by FrozenSnow - 10 years ago

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illuminated.

@illuminated.

Stunner

+ 8

Posted: 10 years ago

I've been married for 9 years and I think its an amazing experience. It teaches you A LOT. So definitely a Bliss on my end! :)

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Swetha

@Swetha-Sai

Achiever

+ 49

Posted: 10 years ago

^ Excellent thread by u CCs on concept of Marriage! 👏

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VishaD.

@VishaD.

Achiever

+ 7

Posted: 10 years ago

Interesting topic and great job on this CC team 👍🏼

Both arranged and love marriages has their own good and bad side. Like i've seen how some people who had an arranged marriage still having a happy life while some who dated for years and then married having differences every now and then. Just like how arrange marriage is most of the time getting married to a stranger, love marriage could also fall under the same radar as sometimes the person you are in love with doesn't reveal their full self or there is no opportunity for it to be seen until you start living together under the same roof.

So its rather how two individuals accepts each another and come to a mutual understanding to lead a happy married life together.

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Lazyblazy

@Lazyblazy

Inactive

Posted: 10 years ago

Really nice topic👏

I am married for almost 11 years and most of these rules apply in any case.

Edited by Lazyblazy - 10 years ago

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Debasree

@debasree04

Sparkler

+ 3

Posted: 10 years ago

wonderful thread...i love the way you explained 2 marriages 👏
I love the conclusion 😃
I am not experienced in either way so cant tell which is better but i think both has positive & negative side. Main point is that a couple needs few basic things - understanding, trust, friendship, respect & love...if these are present then any marriage can be successful. 😛

Nidhi...lovely tags ⭐️

Edited by debasree04 - 10 years ago