If your partner cheated...

First Previous

Page

Next Last

Frequent Posters

hitesh23

@hitesh23

Beginner

Posted: 13 years ago

#21

hey i don't think so that u should leave that person for only one mistake afterall we all r human beings and we r not god that will not do mistake,
and that person is ur love and u cannot leave ur love for just one mistake,,remember the best moment u spend with him ,,u should take this moment inot consideration,,so in my view u should give the person second chance!!!

Quote

Purva

@-Purva-

Dazzler

+ 5

Posted: 13 years ago

#22

Originally posted by: akash08
Men are polygamist by nature - women are not.

Huge red flag there my friend. How can you say something like this? That is the most pathetic excuse for philandering if there was ever a need for one.

But come let us look at the statement dispassionately - the shoe is on the other leg. Nature has intended the female of the species to be the seeker for the best possible mate for its offspring. That is also why most of the animal kingdom sees the male of the species trying various ways and means to attract the female. The female has a choice of the best of the male species, the male has to make do with whichever female selects him to be its mate. So you see by nature - female of the species is polygamist.

But come on, you are far more intelligent to resort to high school statements, and I definitely am not going to allow you to get away with one :)

There were other valid statements and questions you raised but this, really!!!??

Quote

Looks like you are new here. Register for free, learn and contribute.

akash08

@akash08

Dazzler

Posted: 13 years ago

#23

Originally posted by: gangubai1

Huge red flag there my friend. How can you say something like this? That is the most pathetic excuse for philandering if there was ever a need for one.

But come let us look at the statement dispassionately - the shoe is on the other leg. Nature has intended the female of the species to be the seeker for the best possible mate for its offspring. That is also why most of the animal kingdom sees the male of the species trying various ways and means to attract the female. The female has a choice of the best of the male species, the male has to make do with whichever female selects him to be its mate. So you see by nature - female of the species is polygamist.

But come on, you are far more intelligent to resort to high school statements, and I definitely am not going to allow you to get away with one :)

There were other valid statements and questions you raised but this, really!!!??

I said before I am not really arguing my case here.. someone already pointed out that probably a male dominated society gives an illusion of what I am saying.. a really equal society will probably find both genders are equally polygamist..

However, what I am saying here is what I trust to be true (and specially being a man and knowing more men than women.. men hardly understands women anyway).. It would be very difficult to find a man who would not want a second (or thrid etc) woman in his life.. it is the unwritten rules of society and marriage that prevents... in their mind men are polygamist.. can never be sure about women.. thought they are content with one if she finds true love in him..

Knew a nice story from Mahabharata to illustrate this further, However, can not say that as it can be bashed and may be found as defaming religion etc.. so, better not say that..

Quote

Purva

@-Purva-

Dazzler

+ 5

Posted: 13 years ago

#24

Well Indian women are used to putting up with a lot of nonsense in the name of marriage. You wouldn't find a woman seeking an extra-marital affair because her husband is unable to keep her satisfied, but a man would not hesitate to make moves on an attractive woman "because he is no longer attracted to his wife". So I would concede your misconception about polygamy for now.

But let's get back to the basic questions you raised. "how can such a complex topic be answered without defining the cheating first?"

To my mind any relationship that necessitates deception on the part of either of the spouse is cheating. If one feels the need to hide from a wife that a particular woman was a part of the group that went for drinks after office hours - then that is cheating the wife.

If one has a friendship whether virtual or real that one keeps secret from their partner then it is cheating. What one construes as harmless flirting in office, might be considered by the recipient as sexual harassment and there have bee numerous such cases - so let's keep that bit out.

In fact psychologists/marriage-counselors have even gone so far as to claim that when one imagines that their partner is someone else (Whether SRK or Aishwarya Rai) during intimate moments then that is cheating.

Now if we go by the last definition alone then we would comet o an interesting discussion on cheating and polygamy that might not be suitable for this forum at all.

PS: Mods/ other members of the forum - there are some points in my post that border on topics not suitable for youngsters. If anyone has objection to them, please let me know and I'll modify my post. In all honesty I feel that the serial we are discussing deals with adult issues and so the members of this forum would be old enough to discuss these issues.

Quote

LoLo

@LoLo

Dazzler

+ 2

Posted: 13 years ago

#25

Even as a married woman with children, I can say we'd be done. Once and only once would be enough. A friend who was once cheated on by her hubby told me that she had invested 8 years into her marriage, and that was reason enough to consider forgiving him. I told her that those same 8 years was why he should have never cheated. I also asked her if she can forget that her husband had been intimate with another woman; naked with another woman and get past all of that and forgive him. My friend and her NEW husband have been happily married for almost 8 years. Cheating in a relationship is deep since it is the most intimate thing in your life that you are betraying. Why would you want to trust a person like that; how could you?

Quote

akash08

@akash08

Dazzler

Posted: 13 years ago

#26

Originally posted by: reniji66
Even as a married woman with children, I can say we'd be done. Once and only once would be enough. A friend who was once cheated on by her hubby told me that she had invested 8 years into her marriage, and that was reason enough to consider forgiving him. I told her that those same 8 years was why he should have never cheated. I also asked her if she can forget that her husband had been intimate with another woman; naked with another woman and get past all of that and forgive him. My friend and her NEW husband have been happily married for almost 8 years. Cheating in a relationship is deep since it is the most intimate thing in your life that you are betraying. Why would you want to trust a person like that; how could you?

This is extreme - no doubt. However the question remains if it is an one off thing - should one be that harsh?? Can not it be treated as one off deviation because of the animal instinct that we all human beings carry??

To me cheating is - when you no longer love your spouse, when you love some woman more than your wife.. I do not know the details of this. but this can be purely one off physical desire with no string attached.. Not betrayal enough in my definition to close the door..

if you judge it from an egoistic view - the answer can be different and most men in similar situation will judge from a pure ego point..but that is not necessarily the correct outcome.

Quote

neel_jay

@neel_jay

Voyager

Posted: 13 years ago

#27

Originally posted by: akash08
This is extreme - no doubt. However the question remains if it is an one off thing - should one be that harsh?? Can not it be treated as one off deviation because of the animal instinct that we all human beings carry??

To me cheating is - when you no longer love your spouse, when you love some woman more than your wife.. I do not know the details of this. but this can be purely one off physical desire with no string attached.. Not betrayal enough in my definition to close the door..

if you judge it from an egoistic view - the answer can be different and most men in similar situation will judge from a pure ego point..but that is not necessarily the correct outcome.

Hi Akash,

I noticed that this point of view is coming from a guy.. So tell me this - if your girl friend or wife were to cheat on you and let's say it was purely a one off thing because of the "animal instinct" as you said, would you forgive her and take her back?

Quote

Luv4games

@Luv4games

Voyager

Posted: 13 years ago

#28

Originally posted by: neel_jay

Hi Akash,

I noticed that this point of view is coming from a guy.. So tell me this - if your girl friend or wife were to cheat on you and let's say it was purely a one off thing because of the "animal instinct" as you said, would you forgive her and take her back?

great point...i totally agree with you...the husbands or boy friends who want to be given second chance because it was just physical and one time thing then they should also take the woman back if she does...

Quote

tamushi

@tamushi

Voyager

+ 2

Posted: 13 years ago

#29

Originally posted by: FIZK6
Its easier to say we would kick him out, but if it actually happened what would we really do?

A while back me and my friends were having the same conversation and just for a laugh we all said what we would do. I said i would kick him out and let him have no contact with the children either (i know thats unfair to the children).
One of my friends said she would kick him out and let the children go and live with him on some days so he would realise what its like to look after them on his own.
My other friend said she would let him stay for the sake of their children but would have no relations with him. Let him fend for himself.
We all came up with these theories of what we would do but we all agreed on one thing. If there were no children involved we would leave them.
If you have children then it all changes as you have to think about them too and not just yourself.

But now when i think about it, would i really kick him out and not let him see the children?
Its hard to say unless your in that situation. And i hope we never are.

Btw, kick him where it hurts the most, that should teach him a lesson 😆😆😆
😆

very true, children definitely change the perspective, well I think if my hubby cheats on me, I will make sure he spend rest of his life making it upto me😆, if he repeats it again and again, marriage is so over(children are super sensitive and will soon sense all is not well in relation where one partner is comprising for the sake of children whereas other is straying, in the end this type of marriage wouldn't be in best of interest of anyone ), but will make him see and help in taking care of children.
😆

Quote

akash08

@akash08

Dazzler

Posted: 13 years ago

#30

Originally posted by: neel_jay

Hi Akash,

I noticed that this point of view is coming from a guy.. So tell me this - if your girl friend or wife were to cheat on you and let's say it was purely a one off thing because of the "animal instinct" as you said, would you forgive her and take her back?

Hi,

I completely expected this question is coming and I have already answered what most men will do.. have highlighted that part in bold and underline..

For me personally, I have an elevated sense of ego and that male ego being hurt.. I can do anything..but that does not mean I will be correct and most likely thinking back, I would repent that I was incorrect.

No more difficult questions plsss..😆

Quote

1 2 3 4

If your partner cheated... - Page 3

Related Topics

Explore Topics