Episode 197 Discussion: 16th Feb 2013 - Page 9

Hi all,

I am back with my two cents on the question I asked a couple of hours ago. First order of business, let us put my words in context, shall we? Here is what I said:

Madhu is very strong woman in love with a deeply troubled man and she is the only person in the world who can help RK face his demons.

These the italicized sentence is not own but, a direct quote from Leslie Morgan Steiner's TED talk on "Crazy Love", commonly known as relationship abuse. I just replaced the names with RK & Madhu's. Here is what she originally said:

[I though of myself as] a very strong woman in love with a deeply troubled man and I was the only person in the world who could help Connor[the abuser] face his demons.

I could very well have made this post in the open forum where a lot more people visit, view & comment. Instead, I come here to people whom I know will not resort to personal bashing. The discussion will not amount to a fandom existential crisis and I am sure of it.

Here is why I compared Madhu & Rishabh's relationship to classic abuse. Because, the elements are all present.

1. Seduce her/ Charm her: We cannot deny it. He changed, even if it was all an act. He gave up drinking, partying, he believed in God. He was nicer to people around him. He made her feel like the center of his universe. He was nothing without his Madhubala. And, she truly believed the act. She considered herself the dominant partner in the relationship. She had control over the little things. For instance, RK's diet or his outfit of the day. She was changing him for the better.
2. Isolate her: RK did not come out of the blue & ask Madhu to come away with me. It was a well executed maneuver. He presented his insecurities about the nature of love. Rishabh declared his affection for Madhubala as if she was at fault for making him fall for her. He guilted her into agreeing to follow him into their own little world where she would be segregated from the ones who loved her. It did not have to be physical isolation, the thought was enough to haunt Madhu. RK was leaving it all for her. She was the reason for him renouncing the glamour, there was no way she could refuse. We all believed it, didn't we? We thought he had become a better person for good.
3. Threaten her: The love test is the biggest example of this. If you don't do as I say, you don't love me. RK had complete control over what she wore, where she went, etc. The list goes on. He threatened her with consequences every step of the way. You don't love me, being the most common one.
4. Attack: The altar was the final step to ending his master plan. Leaving deep scars on her soul, he was ruthless.

Granted the events happened out of order, there is nothing missing here. This is abuse, like it or not. I do not want her to end up with Rishabh even though I can bet money on the fact that she will. If one makes the mistake of discarding this as something that does not happen in real life, one is mistaken. I watched on TV a woman trying to rationalize the fact that she was marrying her sister's convicted murderer because she was in LOVE. This is real! And, I am bothered, at the very least, to see the grandiose surrounding Rishbala reunion. RK is in an abuser in my eyes.

Originally posted by: vkk2429

@ bold blue

Oh yeah, the CV's are definitely having the last laugh ...

In the meantime, we have been going NUTS in trying to figure out everything..

Originally posted by: 0-SD-0

No No No...

I am out of the race where people are trying to figure out. I was never in figuring out. That's why I am able to laugh. I have taken all that whatever they have shown. If I had questions, I asked the CVs and I waited. I was answered in the episodes. I am not in denial or questioning or overtly analyzing what we have shown like you guys. I have accepted what happened and have moved on,

Originally posted by: Soundarya22

SD- Thanks. I was too upset with the RK-Dips scene. That's why I did'nt even come to the ED , because I would've ranted and ranted. Rationally, there were many positives in the episode, but I did'nt want to see them. Feeling better after reading your posts.

Also, the pre-cap unsettled me, will RK insult madhu again??

Originally posted by: Savz_uniqueblis

it's nice cvs showing madhu as strong after the fiasco as it's too early in soap but it's like ages for viewers n trying to move on than being crying baby in typical soaps as past memories are haunting her n it's not easy task too. she handled in her own way dips at parlor. she handled well media. seems bittu doing all the needy crying for two epis instead of madhu after fiasco. wat a ishq n junoon of rkbala, rk cares,insults,throws,loves n misses n stands for loved ones when he wants to irrespective of other loved ones feelings. madhu wat ever loved ones gives her cares about them. as in typical , radha n bittu will bring rkbala face to face more for rkbala moments.when rk carrying dips me thinking of any bhatia gang sees ,radha or sikki n dips was saved for future by cvs. dips was shown her place by rk but rk the way he treats his loved ones ,gives chance to others to speak abt him n relation with his loved ones n abt loved ones. nice madhu taking the past memories(saree n mangalsutra) as strong points than weak points. in difficult times only true character of person comes in to light. so rkbala face to face after fiasco ,lets see

Originally posted by: Soundarya22

SD- Thanks. I was too upset with the RK-Dips scene. That's why I did'nt even come to the ED , because I would've ranted and ranted. Rationally, there were many positives in the episode, but I did'nt want to see them. Feeling better after reading your posts.

Also, the pre-cap unsettled me, will RK insult madhu again??

Originally posted by: 0-SD-0

@ bigger font.

Agree Savz.

Nice take. 😊 Realistic.

Originally posted by: iiDona

Hi all,

I am back with my two cents on the question I asked a couple of hours ago. First order of business, let us put my words in context, shall we? Here is what I said:

Madhu is very strong woman in love with a deeply troubled man and she is the only person in the world who can help RK face his demons.

These the italicized sentence is not own but, a direct quote from Leslie Morgan Steiner's TED talk on "Crazy Love", commonly known as relationship abuse. I just replaced the names with RK & Madhu's. Here is what she originally said:

[I though of myself as] a very strong woman in love with a deeply troubled man and I was the only person in the world who could help Connor[the abuser] face his demons.

I could very well have made this post in the open forum where a lot more people visit, view & comment. Instead, I come here to people whom I know will not resort to personal bashing. The discussion will not amount to a fandom existential crisis and I am sure of it.

Here is why I compared Madhu & Rishabh's relationship to classic abuse. Because, the elements are all present.

1. Seduce her/ Charm her: We cannot deny it. He changed, even if it was all an act. He gave up drinking, partying, he believed in God. He was nicer to people around him. He made her feel like the center of his universe. He was nothing without his Madhubala. And, she truly believed the act. She considered herself the dominant partner in the relationship. She had control over the little things. For instance, RK's diet or his outfit of the day. She was changing him for the better.
2. Isolate her: RK did not come out of the blue & ask Madhu to come away with me. It was a well executed maneuver. He presented his insecurities about the nature of love. Rishabh declared his affection for Madhubala as if she was at fault for making him fall for her. He guilted her into agreeing to follow him into their own little world where she would be segregated from the ones who loved her. It did not have to be physical isolation, the thought was enough to haunt Madhu. RK was leaving it all for her. She was the reason for him renouncing the glamour, there was no way she could refuse. We all believed it, didn't we? We thought he had become a better person for good.
3. Threaten her: The love test is the biggest example of this. If you don't do as I say, you don't love me. RK had complete control over what she wore, where she went, etc. The list goes on. He threatened her with consequences every step of the way. You don't love me, being the most common one.
4. Attack: The altar was the final step to ending his master plan. Leaving deep scars on her soul, he was ruthless.

Granted the events happened out of order, there is nothing missing here. This is abuse, like it or not. I do not want her to end up with Rishabh even though I can bet money on the fact that she will. If one makes the mistake of discarding this as something that does not happen in real life, one is mistaken. I watched on TV a woman trying to rationalize the fact that she was marrying her sister's convicted murderer because she was in LOVE. This is real! And, I am bothered, at the very least, to see the grandiose surrounding Rishbala reunion. RK is in an abuser in my eyes.

Originally posted by: 0-SD-0

iidona

I have answered your post on page 9

https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/post/76314294

I have answered it one-time basis only.

Re

>>>I could very well have made this post in the open forum where a lot more people visit, view & comment. Instead, I come here to people whom I know will not resort to personal bashing. The discussion will not amount to a fandom existential crisis and I am sure of it.

>>>

I sympathize with you and have known the evils of it. Me and my friends had to brave it out there to have a meaningful discussion.

Having said that and understanding your problem there, I still have to be straight here and say that, this is episode discussion thread and therefore discussion has to be contextual. Out of context discussion is going to be time-waste and irrelevant for all the others who come to thread with a mindset of what they want to see.

What you are trying to have a discussion about it a META topic. You need to discuss that outside this thread.

I can offer a help to you.

Do you want me to open a META thread for discussing with invitees stated as people participating in ED thread...like the way we have one for Media articles,videos and future track discussions ?

Let me know.

SD