Hey there Deepak!
First things first A Walk to Remember was is one of my favorite movies of all time!
Secondly, there are way too many flaws in this and I really think you could work more on the way your write your parts. I mean any piece of writing is a form of literary art and so you should treat is as such. Have you ever heard of a book author writing a legitamite chapter of their books on their phone? You asked for constructive criticism and being the honest writer I am I'm giving it to you.
And being a "good writer" or "bad writer" has nothing to do with it, these are simple basic things that everyone knows and should take care of.
1. )Try not to "tell" the story but let the words convey it. For example suppose you want to say RK and Madhu fought.
You would not say:
RK and Madhu had a fight.
Because that is like telling the people as if you were having a conversation with them as opposed to giving them fiction to read. You want the text to speak for itself and so you would write something like:
"I hate you!" She threw the half eaten apple at his head.
"This is it!" he roared. "What do you think of yourself!"
So here in the above example I'm not telling you they had a fight I'm showing you through my words. So work on this.
One example of the many where I found this mistake in your SS:
"He throw a part next day and invited all d close people to madhu and some actors. And in party he freed Madhu from contract."
2.) Format. You should really type these up on a computer and wait till you are near one. Because like I mentioned before, writing on a phone just shows you needed to get the update out, not that you cared about it. Which I'm sure is not the case with you but it still sends that message to other people. Bunching everything up is never a good idea.
3. Quotes. I have a whole topic on how to properly write an OS/SS/FF which mentions this topic so check it out and please keep it in mind.
4. The biggest flaw, and it's not just you its a bunch of writers who commit this unforgivable mistake. I think its because of them people get the wrong message that it's ok to commit this mistake. The mistake/flaw is usage of texting lingo and cutting up of the words.
Refrain from using: d, nd,
So taking a random sentence here are the flaws I found in one sentence.
Ex from your work:
He throw (incorrect grammar) a part (spelling error) (incorrect grammar) next day and invited all d (cutting up of the words) close people (syntax error) to madhu (capitalize names) and some actors.
It would be "he threw a party" because you are using past tense and party was spelt wrong but spelling mistakes occur and are understandable, not excessively though but don't worry they weren't excessive here. You would say "the next day" because you need a definite article there and write the instead of the, it's only two more letters and it makes your work look more professional. The syntax error means it the words were awkwardly ordered because there is a simpler, easier, and better way to order those words making it more clear. It would be written as Madhu because Madhu is a name and names, etc. are written with a capital letter.
So correctly the same sentence would be written like:
He threw a party the next day and invited all the people that were close to Madhu and some actors.
I hope I helped and keep writing and getting better! And also Deepak Ji, this "part" was shorter than my update for 40 Lakhs Later. 😆
Shweta :P
Cricket
Pati Patni Aur Panga
