Cousins Relation

methebest

@methebest

Voyager

17

Posted: 10 years ago

#1

There is a lot said about cousins relation in this forum. There was a topic if this is ok in India? Well, I would like to share my understanding and view point here.

But before I start I would like to clear that I am neither in favor or opposing to it, since, its practiced in various range in India.

India consists of many religions, races and cultures. Every one has their own set of practices according to religion, race or culture.

Out of it muslims do marry in cousins. For them its ok to marry their first cousins.

Now in Hindus there is wide aspects. In South Indian Hindu culture first cousins can only marry if they are kids of a brother and a sister. Two sisters kids or tow brothers kids can not marry each other.

Non South Indian Hindus, Jains, Sikhs, Budhist, Parsis and Christians they have their own point of view and don't marry in the same family or cousins.

In such a county how do you define legitimate or otherwise? It depends on practices of a certain group, be it based on religion, race or culture. It seems so hard in this show because Trisha's family belongs to the practice of your cousins are your brothers and sisters. From that upbringing if a child does something like this then its almost a sin.

Please share your views in respectful manner. I meant to make a respectful topic, but if it hurt anyone, I am sorry and it wasn't intended. This can be a sensitive issue due to multiple practices dragged in to it, but it was meant for a wider view point.

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angelic8219

@angelic8219

Dazzler

23

Posted: 10 years ago

#2

Methebest you are right, and you explained it perfectly, I know some Muslim marry their cousins because my friend has but now some break the norm because they know if they had a child then they are likely to have a health problem. In Indian history there have been marriages between Hindu cousins probably to make alliances stronger. Now it's not needed and the fact is that cousins are considered as brother and sister relationships in most cultures so today's generation find it weird. I can't help but think it one side abusing the relationship and the other caved in, I don't know who is older out of the cousins Trisha and vivan, some grooming went on.

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Evil Dramebaaz

@Minionite

Channel Moderator

55

+ 42

Posted: 10 years ago

#3

@ Methebest: I really love how you explained it and I have something to say as well.

I was born and raised in Canada so I'm not too familiar with the variety of Indian cultures as much as someone living in India might be. But I can tell you that here it's not so uncommon. Here you will find cousins getting married because they love each other. Here you will find a father carrying on an illicit relationship with his daughter because they "love" each other. Here you will find a mother watching that relationship unfold.

Yes it may not be "legitimate" and it's frowned upon by society, but it is a part of the society nonetheless. I'm not saying it's right and I'm not saying it's wrong (though I feel it is), but it's just the way things are.

And the thing is that the Swaika family finds this wrong and that's why it is wrong here. Because since childhood Trisha, Vivan, and Bobby have been called brothers and sister, but they like the term cousins so that it doesn't sound like they are related.

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Taani

@taani_20

Navigator

10

Posted: 10 years ago

#4

@ methebest: I completely agree with the way you've explained it. It really does depend on the culture you've been brought up in. I have a Sri Lankan friend and her parents are actually first cousins. From talking with them I realized that they were never really brought up with the idea that a cousin is like a sibling, so it wasn't considered "weird" when they fell in love and married. This is contrary to other cultures, like my own, where a cousin is equivalent to your real brother or sister. Even second cousins are considered brothers and sisters! So if you've grown up tying Rakhi on not only your real brother but also your male cousins, then marrying one of those cousins would be frowned upon.

But even in families or cultures where cousin=sibling, this does happen. My mom actually shared a true story with me. When she was in college (in Punjab, where cousin=sibling), one of her friends was in a relationship with her first cousin. They loved each other and wanted to get married. They knew their families would never agree so they eloped. My mom never heard from her friend again. No one knows where they went. And apparently both their families had tried to look for them, claiming they would kill them both when found. Just wanted to share this to say that even in cultures where it's considering "wrong", this definitely does happen, and it did happen even in my mom's generation. It's frowned upon by society, but it's a part of the society, perhaps a part that is a bit taboo and kept hidden or pushed under the rug most of the time.

@KhotaSikaShreya: I was born and raised in Canada too! Nice to meet another Canadian 😊

Edited by taani_20 - 10 years ago

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Shivaanya

@Shivaanya

Inactive

20

Posted: 10 years ago

#5

Well said and nice topic.I completely agreed with the TM.In India there are some parts where such practices are still going on but largely it is considered as illicit.

Most importantly according to medical science this kinda relations can create offspring having serious genetic disorders thats why medicos normally dont encourage such practices.

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methebest

@methebest

Voyager

17

Posted: 10 years ago

#6

angelic8219, I agree with you. I have many muslim friends and their parents are first cousins, but they were brought with the idea of first cousin is a brother or a sister and that's what they teach to their kids. And as you said this is due to medical science confirming the health issues. Thank you for your wonderful comment and keeping it straight and non controversial.

Originally posted by: angelic8219
Methebest you are right, and you explained it perfectly, I know some Muslim marry their cousins because my friend has but now some break the norm because they know if they had a child then they are likely to have a health problem. In Indian history there have been marriages between Hindu cousins probably to make alliances stronger. Now it's not needed and the fact is that cousins are considered as brother and sister relationships in most cultures so today's generation find it weird. I can't help but think it one side abusing the relationship and the other caved in, I don't know who is older out of the cousins Trisha and vivan, some grooming went on.

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methebest

@methebest

Voyager

17

Posted: 10 years ago

#7

Thank you for commenting Shreya. As you feel it is wrong, I too feel the same way because that's the practice I come from. My not only first or second even third cousins are siblings to me.

Originally posted by: KhotaSikaShreya
@ Methebest: I really love how you explained it and I have something to say as well.

I was born and raised in Canada so I'm not too familiar with the variety of Indian cultures as much as someone living in India might be. But I can tell you that here it's not so uncommon. Here you will find cousins getting married because they love each other. Here you will find a father carrying on an illicit relationship with his daughter because they "love" each other. Here you will find a mother watching that relationship unfold.

Yes it may not be "legitimate" and it's frowned upon by society, but it is a part of the society nonetheless. I'm not saying it's right and I'm not saying it's wrong (though I feel it is), but it's just the way things are.

And the thing is that the Swaika family finds this wrong and that's why it is wrong here. Because since childhood Trisha, Vivan, and Bobby have been called brothers and sister, but they like the term cousins so that it doesn't sound like they are related.

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methebest

@methebest

Voyager

17

Posted: 10 years ago

#8

Thanks taani for your views. I agree that even in the families its not considered "right", sometimes it happens. I do know a couple of incidents that I have heard by friends where first cousins have fallen in love an married. Of course, the family then disowns them.

[

QUOTE=taani_20]@ methebest: I completely agree with the way you've explained it. It really does depend on the culture you've been brought up in. I have a Sri Lankan friend and her parents are actually first cousins. From talking with them I realized that they were never really brought up with the idea that a cousin is like a sibling, so it wasn't considered "weird" when they fell in love and married. This is contrary to other cultures, like my own, where a cousin is equivalent to your real brother or sister. Even second cousins are considered brothers and sisters! So if you've grown up tying Rakhi on not only your real brother but also your male cousins, then marrying one of those cousins would be frowned upon.

But even in families or cultures where cousin=sibling, this does happen. My mom actually shared a true story with me. When she was in college (in Punjab, where cousin=sibling), one of her friends was in a relationship with her first cousin. They loved each other and wanted to get married. They knew their families would never agree so they eloped. My mom never heard from her friend again. No one knows where they went. And apparently both their families had tried to look for them, claiming they would kill them both when found. Just wanted to share this to say that even in cultures where it's considering "wrong", this definitely does happen, and it did happen even in my mom's generation. It's frowned upon by society, but it's a part of the society, perhaps a part that is a bit taboo and kept hidden or pushed under the rug most of the time.

@KhotaSikaShreya: I was born and raised in Canada too! Nice to meet another Canadian 😊

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Rhea Singh

@RheaSingh

Dazzler

24

+ 2

Posted: 10 years ago

#9

well this discussion is baseless, where cousins have relations or not..i for once do not consider it but it can't be ignored tht many such things happen in high society partiess...where drivers sleep with high rich women...all the crap things happen. and this is a show...we should not take it seriously..rest is up to u how do u take

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Anukriti

@psychofool

Navigator

13

Posted: 10 years ago

#10

There is no right and no wrong...these things happen, whether somebody agrees to it or not. Sometimes in the open at others within the confines of the four walls. The north Indian hindus may not accept it since it is a taboo in their culture but this practice being a taboo does not make it extinct.

This concept of the show simply questions our values and the facade we wear on the name of social relationships

To each it's own

Cheers

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