FF:MERI ADHURI KAHAANI last part pg-62& nt -64 - Page 4

chapter 2 : Bhikhri Khwaishein

I heard him scream, "SUPRIYA" and ran to the room, he was squeezing his eyes firmly and his left palm was bleeding profusely, I took his hand in mine and saw glass pieces pierced into his skin. Carefully I took out a glass piece ensuring not to hurt him but at the same time couldn't stop myself from asking that why was he doing this to himself? ," sahab yeh kya kiya aapne?" he opened his eyes and kept looking at me silently as I took out one glass piece after the other. When physical pain no more seemed to bother him then why did today her return bother him so much? When she was no longer a part of his life then why was he letting her affect his life? I got up to get the first aid kit and when returned found him collapsed on the bed, the heavy intake of alcohol had taken its toll on him. His wounded hand was hanging from the bedside. I sat on the floor to bandage it, applied antiseptic on the cuts, thankfully they weren't deep enough to require stitches but one thing surely needed to stitched up, his heart which got brutally smashed that fateful night when his bride to be and my sister eloped with her lover. That horrifying scene was still fresh in my mind.

In one corner my mother was sobbing uncontrollably and my father was standing like a statue with his head lowered in shame. The only voice that was roaring in the room belonged to him, he couldn't believe what had happened," woh mere saath aisa kaise kar sakti hai? Itna bada dokha? Mere saath? Dutta shriram patil ke saath?" he gritted his teeth and asked everybody around with hurt clearly reflecting in his teary and enraged eyes. Baba lifted his head and folded his hands in front of him," bhau humein laga ki woh us ravi ko bhool chuki hai ?.usne khudh mujhse kaha tha ki usey is rishte koi aitraaz nahin hai..phir aaj kyun usne aisa kiya.." I was shocked to know that my parents knew that she was in love with someone else, even then they pursued with this proposal, he glared at baba hard and grabbed him by his collars," tu paison ka bhookha hai yeh toh main jaanta tha par itna bada dhokebaaz niklega ye maine nahin soch tha?sab kuch jaante hue bhi tu chup raha?" I pressed my lips in shame as he insulted baba in front of my eyes, his words though bitter were true, baba could cheat on anybody for money. I watched him silently as he walked furiously in the room, then stopped all of a sudden and looked at Baaji to order him," woh dono door nahin nikle honge ..yahin pail vadi mein honge ?jaa kar dhoondh unhein ." Baaji nodded his head in acceptance and said," bhau tu chinta mat kar un dono ko toh main chodega nahin..unko toh main?." He didn't let Baaji finish his sentence and declared," jahan dikhe wahin goli maar diyo." Leaving everybody stunned by his order to shoot both of them at sight, AS tried to intervene by saying," dutta isse kya hoga?" but he gave her one sharp look and she was quiet, my mother parted her trembling lips and pleaded in front of him," bhau aisa mat karo ?.meri bacchi ko maaf kardo." He raised his hand in air silencing her, he was not willing to listen to anybody. This time baba was at his feet begging him to spare both of them," bhau main apke paon padta hai ..unko mat maaro ..main aapse maafi mangta hai." Once again he held baba's collars and pulled him up," tere maafi mangne se kya hoga? Teri beti ne jo mere pyar ka mazak udaya hai woh main bhool jaunga? Is shaadi ko tamasha banakar rakh diya usne?aaj patil vadi ke log hasange mujhe par ?sab us ladki ki wajah se." ayi and baba had nothing to say, he was right, supriya tai had indeed played with his emotions, had tarnished his reputation, though nobody could dare utter a word against him but behind his back they would surely mock at him, by running away on the wedding day, by rejecting him she had hurt his ego badly. Its not easy for anybody to take rejection graciously, especially for a man and that too of his stature. He was still holding baba, he brought him close before barking in his ear," lauta sakta hai meri khoi hui izzat? Hai koi raasta tere paas?" he sniggered after leaving baba's collars and said," ab jaa..doli ki jagah apni beti ki chitha (pyre) jalane ki tayari kar." Aayi let out a huge cry on hearing him, baba once again gathered courage to convince him but before he could do that I interrupted and finally broke my silence," main karegi aapse shaadi..main lautayegi apki izzat."

He turned his neck sharply and for the first time our eyes met, I couldn't hold his strong hatred filled gaze for long and dropped my eyes. My proposal to marry him had left everybody shell shocked, the whole room was engulfed in silence which broke by the sound of slap that hit across my face by ayi," yedi (mad) ho gayi hai kya? Apne behen ke hone wale pati ( would be brother in law) se tu shaadi karegi..sharam nahin ayi tujhe ye sochne aur kehne se pehle." It was indeed shameful on my part to even think about stepping into my sister's shoes but to save her life and to salvage our family's respect I had to think along such lines," aayi aur koi raasta nahin hai ..yehi sab ke liye theekh hoga." Aayi curled her lips in annoyance and refused to agree with me, I looked around helplessly there was no one to support me, I closed my eyes in dismay. A while later I heard AS say," dono parivaron ki izzat bachane ke liye humein lagta hai jo is ladki ne kaha woh sahi hai." I glanced at him from the corner of my eye to see his reaction, for which I didn't have to wait long, he clenched his jaws hard and asked AS," apko yeh sab kya khel lag raha hai? Ek behen shaadi ke mandap se bhaagi toh dusri ne uski jagah le li..aur mujhe ab kisi se shaadi nahin karni." It wasn't easy for him to get married now but what he failed to understand was that it wasn't easy for me either, even I had never thought in my wildest of dreams to get married like this. AS walked up to him and placed her hand on his shoulder to turn him around," dutta hum samajhte hain tere liye ye asaan nahin par ek baar tu thande dimaag se soch ..kya humare pass aur koi chara hai? Agar shaadi nahin hui toh log tarah tarah ki baatein karenge..humare parivar ki kitni badnami hogi." She tried to show him the real picture, we all were in this hopeless situation and this was the only best option available but it wasn't working as he argued," ungliyaan toh tab bhi uthengi jab log mujhe kisis aur ke saath shaadi karte hue dekhenge." Everything that he was saying was making sense that people would definitely point fingers on seeing his bride changed but AS closed her tired eyes and took a deep breath before announcing," yeh shaadi hogi aur yeh humaara aakhri faisla hai." He stared at her in protest and parted his lips to refuse once again but stopped, may be the respect that he has for her prevented him from doing so.

AS looked at madhu and asked her to get the bridal outfit then glanced at my parents who were standing with hands folded and heads downcast, I licked my dry lips nervously and in a feeble voice said," shaadi se pehle mujhe sahab se kuch baat karni hai ?akele mein." Lowered heads lifted in shock and all eyes looked at me in surprise as for the second time in the day I showed how shameless and outrageous I could be and this time too only AS was the one who understood me and shook her head in approval," hum sab ko bahar chalna chaiye." Slowly everyone left the room and the door was slammed hard leaving just the two of us behind. I fidgeted with the edge of my dupatta and drew courage to speak to him, thankfully his rigid and tensed back was facing me which made it easier for me to say what I intended to," meri do shartaien (conditions) hain." On hearing me he at once turned around and looked at me sharply, I knew I was not in a position to lay down conditions and that too in front of a powerful man like him but still it was important for me to make my stand clear. He seethed in anger and knotted his brows before questioning," ek toh teri behen ki jaan baksh doon ..aur dusri?" I nodded my head silently, yes one thing which I wished was that he spared my sister's life and second was," aur dusri?" I gulped the lump in my throat, closed my eyes shut, held the dupatta in my fist firmly, did everything possible to garner courage then said it one go," humare beech kabhi pati patni jaisa koi sambandh nahin hoga." And let out a deep sigh after saying what I had to but still didn't have the confidence to face him. A moment later my eyes reopened in shock and forehead creased in confusion on hearing him ask," kyun apni behen ki tarah tujhe b hi kisi aur se pyar hai?" I was marrying him only to protect her life and my family's honor, beyond that I couldn't imagine myself sharing a normal husband and wife relationship with him, his suspicion was right I did love someone but didn't wish to get into the details, it wasn't necessary for him to know who that person was. I nodded my head silently, he had a sarcastic smile on his face as if it made him happy to know that like him even I had lost my love today. Slowly he began walking towards me, as a lion approaches his prey, his dark intense eyes not leaving my face, I too attempted at putting up a brave face but I guess it wasn't working, as he stopped just right before me, his tall powerful figure overlooked mine, I lowered my gaze and looked everywhere except him, he lowered his face a little and said in an ice cold voice," AS ke kehne par maine haan ki warna mujhe teri shakal dekhna ka bhi shauk nahin." I was aware that getting physical with me would be the last thing in his mind but still I wanted to ensure that this marriage was a compromise from both the sides, there was no place for love in it. We both could never ever come together.

Ever since we had shifted to patil vadi a lot had changed for the whole family except for me I still pursued my graduation course though now by staying alone in a kolhapur hostel and had come here to attend supriya tai's wedding, and spend time with the family till my final semester started not having the slightest clue that within minutes everything around me too would change. From a normal salwar suit I was now in a wedding outfit and marrying none other than someone who would have been my sister's husband. Wedding mantras were chanted as we circled around the holy fire silently with garlands hanging around our necks. Punditji explained the importance of various marital vows to us unaware that all this was falling on deaf ears, neither of us was interested in all these customs and formalities on the contrary were engrossed in our pasts rather than in our present and future. He was asked to tie the mangal sutra around my neck, madhu handed it over to him, he glared at me furiously while walking towards me with the mangal sutra hanging in his fingers, he stopped near the holy fire and threw the mangal sutra in it making the people around gasp in shock. I continued to look into his eyes emotionlessly and blankly as he approached me then pulled out the gold chain from his neck and tied it around mine while doing so he was far from being gentle, the hook of the chain tangled with my hair, tugging them and in the process hurting me but he didn't care a bit. When asked to fill my parting with vermillion I closed my eyes as he smeared the red powder in my parting harshly, jerking my head back a little. The guests showered rose petals on us when we were declared husband and wife, neither of us bothered to look at each other, we bent down to seek AS's blessings then approached my aayi, baba who appeared worried for their daughter, they didn't consider themselves worthy enough to bless him so joined their hands in front of him. Aayi had tears in her eyes, don't know whether they were for me or tayi or both of us, nevertheless I hugged her as my eyes too welled up.

Madhu came up to me to take me to his room, like a zombie I climbed up the stairs still trying to take in all that had happened some time back. With heavy steps I entered the room decorated with flowers and aromatic candles, the fragrance of all this instead of making me feel nice was making me dizzy and nauseated. Sitting on the huge king size bed I watched madhu leave the room silently after keeping a small bag carrying my basic stuff brought from my house, I turned my neck to the right and saw myself in the mirror, a part of which was showing supriya tai's smiling picture hanging on the opposite wall and the remaining had my reflection. For the first time I saw myself in that heavy shimmering outfit which belonged to tai and who's weight was crushing me down, the beautiful embroidery work done on it was pricking my skin now, the vermillion in my parting reminded me that I had married my future brother in law, which made me loath myself, I couldn't bear to see myself like that. I gripped the bed sheet underneath in my fist tightly and pressed my lips hard as I glanced at the bed covered with rose petals, squeezing my eyes in disgust I questioned myself," why am I sitting on this bed of thorns?" Enough was enough I couldn't take it anymore and sat up at once and rushed to the washroom with the bag.

After taking a long shower I stepped out in my own clothes and watched myself in the mirror once again, the vermillion and chain were still there, sighed deeply and thought some things couldn't be changed, they had to be accepted either out of will or compulsion but would stay with me forever. I opened the window, and stood near it the aroma of the candles was suffocating, fiddling with the gold chain I gazed out, there was a strange sadness and grief in the atmosphere, life would take such a dramatic turn I had never imagined, closing my eyes I leaned on the window pane when all of a sudden the door open up and the wind chimes hanging above made a noise breaking the silence that had engulfed the room earlier. I turned around and saw his swaying figure walk in, he was clearly on a high with anger oozing out of his each and every pore, he pulled down the wind chimes and smashed them across the huge mirror creating a deep crack on it. I took some hurried steps to stop him but he was unstoppable, his eyes were full of rage and resentment, he walked near the wall and pulled out tai's picture, gazed at it for a moment before throwing it on the floor. The glass frame shattered into pieces but even that wasn't enough for him, he looked around for new things to break, he began blowing off and chucking the candles everywhere making the room fall into darkness. Scared of darkness I immediately switched on the lamp near the couch and said," sahab mujhe andhere se darr lagta hai ..main isey jalakar rakhe?" he turned and looked at me in confusion as if all along he didn't know that I was also present in the room watching him create that ruckus. With staggering feet he reached the bed and at once collapsed on it.

Sitting on the couch I glanced at the broken glass pieces scattered all around, this was my life, my story with shattered hopes, dreams and aspirations." Main nakusha, aur ye hai meri adhuri kahaani."

thanks for reading

lots of love

Rose