The Second Chances upd Epilogue pg63 on 22thFeb - Page 46

Okay finaly had time to coment on ur update...so here we go... :)

Ch19: Finding Salvation

Present Day:2^nd November 2010

Dutta looked around his heart thumping hard in his chest. The bits of snow sticking to his glasses obstructed his vision. He had been a class fool to do this. He pulled up his jacket to cover his nose and pulled down the hood. He could feel the cold through his gloves and multiple layers of clothes. The storm had struck suddenly, the snowing begins in Antarctica with little warnings but still they could make out a storm of this proportion. He had been caught in this like an amateur. He had endangered not only his life but also of his faithful companions- his 10 dogs. He had trained them to pull his and his equipments; Maya and Kundu were the lead of the pack. They were good at sniffing out thin ice and find the right track, the rest followed them. But in this blizzard even they felt helpless.

If he couldn't reach the research centre alive, it would be his fault. As the intensity of snowfall increased, the wind picked up. Everything was white, nothing visible. For the first time Dutta felt he could see ahead in his life and now, Gods were punishing with this blindness in seeing the path.

Why did he have to leave the center? He should have stayed and faced himself. Instead he had chosen the easy way out again, path of running away. He had been drowned in a sea of confusion after watching the CD Dr. Eignam had handed him that morning, 12 days ago. Dutta loosened the harness on his dogs giving them a pat to follow their instincts in the blizzard. His judgment was shaky these days but he trusted his team with his life. As they dragged the sleigh ahead in the storm Dutta hung to the edge with his might. The air felt like a white solid wall, nothing penetrated through it. As he was pulled ahead blindly, he thought of her last email to him, the sadness in it and the weariness. Naksh! Don't give up on me yet, please. Please!

omg so maya is the dog!! Lmao n all that time ive t=been thinking its some women working with them!! Haha but i had no worry of dutta falling 4 her cuz he only luvs his naku...

i totally love this bit of ur update..' Naksh! Don't give up on me yet, please. Please!' it rely made my day...it was too gud man...the gadha is slowly realising his mistake...

awhh i hope he gets saved soon...the poor thing is suffering so much..i think he came so far out to calm himself down....

***************************************************************************

Twelve Days ago: 21^st October 2010

Maiti Research base,Antarctica

Dutta walked swiftly across the corridor. Some of the Scientists smiled at him, he gave a faint greeting as he reached Doc's door. He opened it without knocking and began without a preamble," You resigned! Why?" Dr.Eignam was packing his bags. He looked at him with tired eyes," She had a heart attack. It's major. She's critical..I..I..I have..to go." Dutta frowned- heart attack? Who? Dr. Eignam-My vaidu..My wife. He sat down dejectedly on his bedsit, the shirt clutched in a strong hold making impossible creases on it," My ExWife, actually. We separated 20yrs ago'But none of us remarried. I have always loved her, had done everything to see her happiness yet..this..now when she was so happy. I talked to her yesterday..she was fine..Her photography exhibition was a hit..she was so happy...then how?" he broke down shoving his face in the folds of the shirt. Dutta felt sorry to see his mentor in such condition. He sat beside him, lightly patting his shoulder; slowly he drew reassuring circles on his back as the older man cried for the lost time.

After the torrent had subsided Dr.Eignam had told him about himself and his family. He was from an affluent Tamil family. After his PhD, his parents had fixed his marriage to a good girl in Chennai. They had got married and had started living in Port Blair. The language problem was acute for Vaidahi. She couldn't mix with people. She hated living there alone, when he was gone. Even after 2yrs she couldn't adjust to life outside Chennai. Rajat was small. Being a young mother alone was lot of pressure on her. She still carried on. They fought but made up, too. Then he got a chance to join Matre. She was pregnant with Sayamli. But she didn't stop him. They decided they will manage. But the life he chose and marriage was poles apart. He knew she was unhappy. He knew he loved her, and he wanted her to be happy. So he decided to free her from marriage. She agreed to the separation quietly, which made him think she wanted it too. She left with the kids for Chennai after that and he came back and got engrossed in his work. But the kids connected them. He would call everyday to ask about them. He wanted to know what she was doing. He prayed that she would meet someone and remarry, be happy. But he dreaded it too. When he didn't call she would call and life went on. They separated, yet were joined together. Dutta listened to his story with a smile. It was impossible to think of Doc in love with anyone except science. He was one of those mad scientist guys in Spielberg movies.

Dr.Eignam- All these years, we should have been together, watching our kids grow up, sharing our pains and laughter, the hypertension pills and the diabetes tablets. All. But we wasted it, two lives wasted. We both thought we are setting each other free, but forgot that our hearts will never be free from the love we feel for the other. Women are very strange creatures, Dutta. You think you are doing something for their wellbeing, but you know what? They have a mind of their own. They decide themselves what they want and stick to it like fly sticks to jaggery. Every day, I waited for her to tell me that she has met someone but it never happened. What I thought was right turned out to be the most pathetic mistake of my life.

Dutta was speechless. He looked down at his clasped hands. Dr.Eignam continued- If you love someone, and they tell you that they will wait for you then you should not make them wait, Dutta. Few people are lucky enough to be loved that much. I have realized that. The fear of losing her forever, of never hearing her voice, kicked the blazing daylights off my sights. 20 saal barbaad kar diye'.kyun? yaad nahi. Par ab baaki ki zindagi uske saath hi katunga. Jitney bhi zindagi baaki hai sath mein jeeyengey.

Dutta nodded at him- Aap ke sath kaam karna..it was pleasure and honor for me sir.

Dr.Eignam got up and closed his suitcase. He was flying out with the cargo craft till New Zealand and then to his country.

Awh doc eingam resigning..rely liked the old guy..he was like a father figure to him inih just like ben...

Poor guy..so he finaly realised his mistake (doc eingam) n i think he has realised that his story is similar to that of duttas n he is telling about his life so that dutta realises what he is missing on...n how he should make things better before its too late..b4 u waste soo much time thinking you did the right thing when u obviously havn't ... he doesnt want dutta to tgo through the pain n guilt he went through and is still goin through it..not knowing whether he will be even able to see her alive....

Dutta should remember how he felt when he found out about the time when naku had that accident n how he came running in cold without thinking twice..if that felt soo painful..how wud he feel knowing he will be loosing her forever...he will lose the will to live even more....

***************************************************************************

Present Day:2^nd November 2011

He ploughed through the thick snow obstructing his path. The sound of the wind whipping around him was deafening. The gloves were creating a problem in getting the grip he needed to pull the sleigh harness. He loved his team of dogs but now he had respect for these creatures. They did a tough job, indeed. Maya had just delivered 4 healthy puppies as month back. Bringing her on this crazy outing was a big mistake on his part. If anything happened to his friend he would feel responsible for it forever. She had been caught in a hole in the thick sheet of ice. She had tried to pull out of the hole in wrong way and hurt her front paw in the process. It had bled but Dutta was concerned with what he suspected was fracture that needed immediate help, help that was nowhere to be found. He placed her on the sleigh sheet and secured her with the supply rope. He took the lead of the sleigh in her place and started walking ahead. He had no idea where he was going-towards the base or further into the desert. He tried connecting to the base radio frequency for the umpteenth time with no avail. He banged his radio in frustration and cursed at the skies. His team joined with a howl. Their loyalty to him even in his madness made him smile.

He has to make out of this mess. He would keep the promise he had made to the woman on that CD. He would not fail her or his loyal team. He looked at the 9pairs of astute eyes looking at him hopefully, waiting for his command. 'Buck up,Patil. You need to get these babies home.' He muttered. "Come, Kundu. Come boy, here..come."

Bles Dutta is so caring na...he cares so much bout his dogs..wen in reality..ppl des days dont care about humans never mind animal! ... loved his concern about maya n how his pups will lose their mother...

As wel as saving the dogs im now getting a feeling that dutta himself wants to live now (where as b4 if felt like he has given up on his life...his wil to live had died long ago...it startd to die away slowly wene his daa died..den his mother n i think naku was the last iceburg...) he want to live now after docs conversation...he seems more lively..like i said b4 i think he came so far out so he can havve some time to think whether he made mistake..its his realisation time...

And the fact how he is describing the scenery as being a blur with no real destination...is making his realise that he doesnt belongh ere no matter how much hes trying to make himself think that...hes slowly actually started to listen to his heart... (wel its about time lol)

***************************************************************************

Present Day:2^nd November 2011

Hislop College, Nagpur.

"Othello though considered the best work of Shakespeare now..when it first came out , was heavily criticized for poor execution of events. On that account MacBeth is still considered his finest..See, in King Lear.."Nakkusha stopped mid-speech looking at nothingness. Her words got lost as she looked around at the frowning, curious faces of her students.

"Ma'am, are you alright? You have gone pale."

Since wen did naku started teaching literature?? Awhh is having a feeling that her dutta is in some kind of danger..or theres sosmething seriously wrong...das what i call true love....

***************************************************************************

Pheww thankgod he found some place to stay for a while...

Oh oh i hope his hand isnt hurt to much..awhh he was too woried about dogs leg than his hand which he can potentially loose! Soo sweet of him...

Daaki gagoyee?? huh

***************************************************************************

Twenty-three years ago: Date obscured.

MountRoad Railway Quarters, Nagpur.

"Indian Government has passed the order to shut down the Daakshin Gangotriand bring back the scientists who were trapped there. Dakshin Gangotri was India's First successful Antarctic research base which was established in 1984. It has seen 3 successful summers. But the heavy snowstorm has pushed the government to shut down the base which was proud achievement of the nation. " SriRam read the news from the front page of The Telegraph In a lilting dynamic voice with ups and downs to his little 5year old son, like he was reading a thrilling story. Dutta's eyes would go wide with the rise in his voice. He hardly understood a word of what his daa said, but he enjoyed this time with daa because daa made such varied sounds. The little guy reacted to his handsome father's voice modulation and expressions- he frowned when daa frowned and laughed when daa laughed.

SriRam knew Shakuntala would be annoyed again if she heard that he was again reading the newspaper to their son instead of the storybook she had handed over to him for reading. All he wanted to do after coming home from work in evenings was play with his energetic son, kiss his pretty wife, eat her delicious cooking and curl up on the couch with his newspaper and cricket on TV. He never got a chance to read it the whole day and night was the only time he could connect with what was happening around him. But Shakuntala insisted that he put dutta to sleep. He didn't mind tucking his little guy but she insisted that he read to him as much as possible as Dutta refused to listen when she read. She was very worried about Dutta's speech dysfunction. The speech-specialist she had taken him to had suggested that Dutta's Stammer and lisp would disappear when he became more familiar with words. She had told them to speak as much as possible with him, slowly clearly, read to him. Encourage him to be vocal. He thought Duta was only 5 they didn't have a problem but shakuntala had thrown up a crying spree. She was afraid that dutta was smart kid. Too,smart for his age. He could remember the entire atlas and the population of each country and there area in Square feet. His teachers wanted to put him in higher class. But she didn't want her son to face too much. He didn't have friends his age as he felt inhibited to speak in fear of being ridiculed. She was scared for her child. She wanted things normal for him.

So, what could a man do. Sri read to Dutta every night. When Shakuntala was around he would read panchtantra, akhbar-birbal,fables and vikram-betal..Dutta's favorite. But when she was not around he would close the book and read the newspaper like a storybook to him. 'Ek teer Do shikar', he thought. Shakuntala couldn't make out the difference between the news and story from the voices coming to her. The tone sounded dramatic and pitched, she smiled. Her favorite sounds of the night-the man she loved with her child. Everything in the world worth having in that place, together.

Sriram folded the paper and kissed his son's downy head. He smoothed the curly dark hair it sprang back in coil like a life of its own. Sri smiled. Curly hair looked very enticing on his wife,it always excited him to see her unbound dark curly hair. They entangled him. But on his son? He prayed to God, his son's hair would straighten out with time or else the poor kid would be called a girl his entire school-life by his peers. He shuddered. Dutta- d'd..daa..a? SriRam looked down in the sparkling dark eyes miniature image of his-Yes,babu. What is it? Dutta- D,..Daataaa g..g'go. Sri asked curiously- OhhKay! Dutta go where? Dutta grinned at his accomplishment of letting his daa know about his plans. Dutta- D..Daa..in Ga..gaoiee..Sri frowned-Where? Dutta's face broke into frustration as he tried to concentrate on his words, it was important daa understood. He tried again, little baby spittle forming on his lips- D..da..in..ga..ga..oiye..Sri couldn't make out the worlds and he knew his son was impatient easily frustrated with failures. He asked again- you want to go to peepee, sonny? Dutta shook his head vehemently-Dd..daain..gg.ggaaggoiye..he pointed at the paper and looked expectantly at Da. SriRam caught on when he saw his son pointing at the grainy picture of the faraway land. He smiled- You want to go to Dakshin Gangotri? He nodded happily. SriRam couldn't understand what attraction the little kid might have felt for that alien place. It was odd and unconventional, illogical to say the least. But the expectant look he gave him grabbed his heart like he had grabbed it the first day SriRam had met his little three days old son. SriRam- you will go to Dakshin Gangotri,if you really want to. Come here. He pulled him in his arms and kissed his temple- You know one man once looked at the moon and said he'll go to the moon. And many years later, he did. If you really want to you can and I know my sher can reach Dakshin Gangotri. Even if its closed with iron-shackles.

Dutta-D..d..a.da..ki.g..ga.g..o'ti.

SriRam- Dak..Dutta said his face contorted in concentration-D..Daa..SriRam-shin..Dutta-S..she..SriRam-Gan..Dutta- G..g..g..Gag.. SriRam-otri'Dutta-u..oo..O.Oti..He grinned and said in a rush- Daaki gagoyeee..

SriRam laughed and wiped the spit of his chin with his shirt and said-yes, Daaki gagoyee..he tickled Dutta making him kick like a paddle boat.

"So this is what you read to my son? This is your bedtime story..All themurders, wars..and what not?" SriRam turned to his beautiful fire-breathing wife standing at the door with her hands on her impossibly small waist. He sat up straight and pused dutta under the cover,"Danger, commando. Hide!"

Awhh hes remembering his daa...naughty daa hes ment to be reading him story book not newspaper..yeh so dutta was a clever clog right from start...awhh his mun soo worried bout clever dutta n his lisp...wel i think da reading buks/newspaper technique did work lol

Awwww dutta tryna pronounce daaki gagoyeethat was soo cute man ...loved his interaction with his daa...

Now that hes thinking about the good times he had with daa/mum is making us n dutta look into the old D..jo hamesha hasta aur hasata tha..jo zinda tha...love the way ur showing this whole realisation process gradually...

***************************************************************************

Present Day:2^nd November 2010

Dutta tied the bandage tightly around Maya and put his hand in the warm water he had heated in the stove. He looked at her,"Don't worry, girl. I'll get you to your babies. Then we will go home. You and me. You want to come with me."

He placed his left hand in front of her as she licked him in acceptance. Dutta grinned,"She is strict about beds and house training..Ok? Just a warning. And there is the other Tudu to content with. You will have to fight your battles. Alright? I can't rock my boat by supporting you much. After all, I have been an ass for almost a year now! "

She barked at his cowardly desertion of his friend. Dutta laughed- alright, I'll try. But you have to behave, too. She barked again. Dutta- alright,Ok,,OK' I'll try the Radio again..the snow has stopped,too.

He switched on hsi radio...as white noise crackled the air he tuned the frequency. After three attempts there was a sound, Dutta tightened his hand on it.

"Come in'Dosti..Come in..This is .."

The voice- Dutta? You are alive.

A few hours later, Maitri base camp had successfully recused the team of ten dogs and the man. He and his injured dog were flown to Sydney for treatment for critical frostbite and fractured leg, respectively.

As they flew over the vast Indian oceans, his mind was clouded with the words he had heard on the CD..He felt light and free for the first time..He could taste the salvation. He felt clean and honest. His exile would be over soon. He would go home.

......To be continued

Awhhhh his relationship with his dogs is jus shoo cutee...love how he talks to them...there like the only thing he can share his feelings with...

Yeahhhh he finaly got thru..there saved :D

Omg are they going bak home as in on real earth lol n not jus snow..i mean away from antartica??????? :DDDDD omg im soo hapy lol tasha might finally reunite

wel D its time u realise u don't just love naku...u need her to live!! N she needs u!

Thnx 4 da wonderful update shilpi n da pm..am sory 4 da late comment wanted to write abit more than just nice update lol .. sorry bout the ectra long comment tho....

Update soon

Tc

x

Hey thanks Buddy,

See in earlier updates..ch2,3 i had given a background on nakkusha profession she is a lecturer in nagpur university...fine arts lecturer..she is artisty and loves drama...so she made it her profession....daniel was adventure sport instructor and Dutta a researcher..Ben and Sri both work for railways and Fanny was hpmemaker....Shakuntala was homemaker while sri was alive later took a railways job to support Dutta and herself...She died before retirement.

^^^

Originally posted by: kiran255

wow every man with new story , new tragedy some given by fate

and some self designed !

Love Dr Eignam story ,

You know Love is love !

DR Eignam and Dutta 2 yet so different but similar story !

one man arrange marriage , problems in adjusting

and aftr a whole time realization of what he really want !

and go for it

Dutta and Naksh the inseperable

yet so parted only by distance !

their haert beats at one rate !

dutta realized what he really want But has no guts to go for it :(

Loved hat Dr Eignam is trying to convey to Dutta !

and huh CD !

girl u like to put ur readers in darkness !

I was just abt to go to sleep when i saw u commented so ran in here to read..it..becoz i just love the way u and vandu analyze..

U know what u are the first to have noticed the differences...everyone else noticed the similarity....but the differences are important too..
u are so right..that these similarities in differences are one factor that pushed dutta..
brilliant..and thank you for observing..kiran...love you yaar..
CD ki mystery bhi out hogi i promise...

Hey Shilpi - its the weekend yaa, when's the next update????? waiting anxiously!!!!!!!!!!!!

Originally posted by: dhlgirl

Hey Shilpi - its the weekend yaa, when's the next update????? waiting anxiously!!!!!!!!!!!!

As we say in Engine Manufacturing..."Work In Progress"😆😉
😉

^^^ aah so tht means u'l b posting the next update sumtym 2day... i hpe so...reali w8in 2 c wt hapns next...

Im desperately waiting for the FInished GOod !

Ch20 : Homecoming to 'Enough'

Present Day: 25^th December 2010

Mountroad Railway Quarters,Nagpur

She woke up with a drowsy heavy feeling and a headache at the back of her eyes. A result of staying up late and crying herself to sleep. She had been dreading the festive season this year without him. She could see his presence in everything. While decorating the house, while shopping, baking in the kitchen, in masses. He shadowed her every moment. When she stumbled at the ladder while decorating the tree, he would be there to hold her waist. In kitchen he would slip his hands around her and hug her. His eyes will wink at her when she picked a dress. It was impossible going ahead without him. Last night she had asked herself how long she would be able to carry on like this. Her heart had whispered forever making her cry in despair. Holding the old sock in her hand she had fallen on her bed and muffled her cries on the pillow. All that thinking and crying had given her that dragging hangover feeling. She sat up pushing her quilt down, pressing her hand on her eyes, bowing her head. She had thought she had done crying in the past year. That there were no tears left. She looked up and sniffled, swiping at the wetness of her yes. A small thing caught her eyes. She frowned and looked on the bed to confirm it. She remembered that she had slept with the sock pressed to her chest, last night. She had been holding it like it connected her to him. then how did it get to the wall opposite her. The stocking was hung near the table just like it had always been in her childhood. A special place of her secret santa. She frowned. Dad? Did he? She stumbled out of the bed angry that her dad would play such a trick on her. He knew how she felt about it.

She reached out to jerk the sock down angrily. It felt heavy. There was something in it. She pulled out a small square velvet box out of it. Her heart stopped for a second and stumbled for a beat or two then started beating twice as hard as she opened the box. As the lead fell open a scream escaped her lips. "AAAAAA"

**************************************************************************************************

Fifteen days ago: 20^th December 2010

Sydney

He was sitting at the bench facing the sea with bhuppi. The young man was looking at a distance still unable to get out of the shock. Dutta could sympathize with him.Bhuppi-Ek hafta. Just one week. She got engaged within a week of the breakup. She didn't even give me a chance, yaar. A six years relationship and she didn't even mourn it for six days. I went to tell her that I was ready to give up the job settle down in Mumbai. Stay away from my joint family in Jamshedpur. Everything. Ek mauka toh deti. She jumped to the next alliance that came her way. How is that possible?

Dutta had always seen this man making jokes, even when he was in his 'majnu' mode there was funny edge to it. As if he knew that things would work out. Dutta himself had not thought that things would get this difficult. Bhuppi had gone to India to talk with her but had comeback after seeing that things had changed. He had made a halt to Sydney just to meet him. Dutta's frostbite had healed and he was ready to leave in few days. Dutta-Maybe she didn't know you will come back? Bhuppi shook his head- that's what kills me. She never gave me a chance. She didn't wait to find out. She should have. She owed to us. Dutta- people say love is setting your love free. Bhuppi gave a sardonic smile-Love is not a cage or prison that would need setting free. If anyone says that than they don't love in the first place. I didn't ask her to wait a lifetime, Patil. I didn't say that I won't ever come back. I just asked her for some time. A month, maybe two. She broke up with me and got engaged in a week and never told me this when I kept calling her. She didn't wait, didn't set me free. Makes me wonder what those 6years were about. Dutta- What will you do now? Bhuppi- go back to work. Afterall, no one's waiting for me back home. No point going back. Dutta looked at the setting sun playing on the waves, thoughtfully.

*************************************************************************************************

Present Day: 25^th December 2010

Mountroad Railway Quarters,Nagpur

At the sight of the jewel box her heart had jumped with joy. He was here. She knew it and he was ready. Her ever cautious heart warned but she shushed it quiet and with trembling hands slid open the lid. The content jumped up on her. Literally! She fell back on floor looking at the ugly green black thing staring at her, ready to pounce on her. She crawled back and rushed to her bed sitting there looking at the thing. It jumped again in her direction making her scream again.

"What? I thought you would kiss it and I'll swoop in as the prince. Why the hell are you freaking the little fellow?"

Nakkusha turned towards the door at his voice. Dutta grinned at her. "Oh, you disgusting, Sneaky.."She threw the box at him with all her might. He ducked it and came towards her. She slid away from him cowering at the edge of the bed, eyeing the thing with trepidation. Dutta sat at the edge and smiled to himself,"" I think it was a good plan. It effectively blocked your way out of this room before I could finish apologizing for being a rank jackass." Naksh snorted- Apologize? You went away when I repeatedly begged you not to. Dutta nodded looking down-I did. Naksh- you didn't even have the guts to say goodbye. Dutta shook his head- I didn't. She looked at the pain clouding his bent face, she choked on her words- I wrote to you like a crazy, demented person for a year. Every single day and you read it. I know you did. But you never once replied back. Dutta bit his lip and shook his head- no, I didn't. She continued tears slipping down her eyes- and you just swoop in here with that thing thinking that everything will be alright. Dutta looked up and met her eyes without flinching-Yes, I do. And you know what? I know you knew that it will be alright, too. Because you always believed that it will come down to this moment. To you and me, here. There are many things I need to say, I need to tell you, Naksh.

She looked at the edge of the bed and eyed the door. Dutta-that thing is still around here somewhere. Just to let you know. She glared at him. Dutta bit back a smile- Naksh? I have this incredible speech prepared on the incredibly boring flight. Wanna hear it? She resolutely looked away.

Dutta- Ok, here goes. Once upon a time…Naksh grunted- O God,please…Once upon a time..Tudu, really? You want to start with that? After that? She pointed at the floor where that thing was. Dutta- I promise, I goes well . She gave a terse nod. Dutta hid his smile- So..where was I? haan, Once upon a time, a little guy promised someone that he'll take care of this beautiful little angel in his life. That he'll protect her cherish her and lead her. But things changed more than he bargained for. Nakkusha looked up at him as he looked at her and continued," They changed so suddenly, Naksh. We changed so suddenly. I couldn't handle it. You were just a kid needing a friend and I wanted things you were not ready for. And.."

Nakkusha- it's not your fault…I..don't blame you.

Dutta- But I did renege on the promise of the little boy. At the first sign of trouble, at the first wind of storm, I ran away. Instead of facing the change of tide, I left at first sound of lightning. I have running away my whole life. I was not running away from you..never from you, I swear. It was just this guilt, that made me feel less. I didn't know how to face it. I only wanted you to be happy, naksh. I want you to be happy.

She nodded at him, her green eyes pooling with tears. At a sound coming from floor they both turned to look at it. She gave a misty smile- see, it understands, too. Dutta smiled.

Dutta- I always thought you would be happy with someone else. Someone who can love you more than me, someone who can give you things that I will never be able to give you. When that rat left you, somewhere inside I felt a little relived. Because no matter how much I tried, there always is this need that wants me to be the one to hold you when you break. I want it to be to be the one who picks up the pieces after you break.

Something jumped at the periphery of her vision and she scrambled closer to him. He mouthed a thank you in that general direction earning a thump on his chest. Dutta looked down at her beautiful eyes, and leaned his forehead on her. "I am the most scarred, scared man. Naksh. Things I have done. Sins I have committed. You should hate me,stay away from me. But I'll die if you did that. You see, even when I kept telling everyone and even myself that, I wanted you to be happy with someone else. I can't let that happen. I don't want anyone loving you more than me. I don't want anyone giving you things, I can't give you. I can't let you be with anyone else. It has to be me, honey. Just Dutta for Nakkusha because there can never be anyone for me." He groped in his chest pocket for something and brought out a sparkling ring. He looked in her eyes and shyly looked down at her hand. He clinched his hand once before lifting her left hand. Nakkusha whispered conspiratorially, "it's the wrong hand." He dropped it and said hastily, "I knew that." She shrugged. He lifted the right hand and said while sliding the ring, "I left without goodbye, made you wait so long..because I was foolish enough that I didn't realize that I was one of the lucky few who was given a second chance at making their Christmas wishes come true." His face creased into a frown as the ring stopped at her second knuckle. He looked down at it and pushed. When it refused to budge, he pushed hard. He then twisted it and pushed again making her wince with pain. He looked at the struck ring shocked, trying to push it again ,"Ek minute!"he mumbled.

Nakkusha bit her lower lip and took his hand away and removed the ring from her finger. She looked at his still face and slid it on her little finger and raised her hand looking at it.

Nakkusha-we'll get it fixed for the right finger from the jewelers tomorrow."

Dutta smiled relived- is that your answer?

Nakkusha- that's all the answer you deserve. He dragged her to him and kissed her lips hard. She gave in with happiness. He could taste the salt of her tears on his lips but kissed them off her lips. She moved away and hugged him to her, tears wetting his shoulder,"I knew you would come back to me. I knew you just needed time to heal. To accept that I am not going anywhere without you, you fool. I knew, I knew." He kissed the nape of her neck and buried his face in the curve of her shoulder. They held each other like that for innumerable seconds. She slowly moved away and kissed his cheek softly and leaned on his chest, listening to his heartbeat, steady and strong. She looked at the ring in her little finger. The solitaire square cut diamond winked at her from its bed of clean cut emeralds. It was perfect apart from its size, she smiled. Nakkusha- where did get this from? It's almost perfect. Dutta kissed her hair and ran his finger through her silky tangled hair, breathing in the familiar scent of Naksh,"Sydney airport Duty free. Saved a lot of tax, too. Smart, hai naa?"

Nakusha jerked up and glared at him- Duty free. You got my ring from a dingy duty free shop. You are a hopeless,Dutta Patil. Dutta grinned and leaned in to kiss her angry lips. She stayed unresponsive of a second but gave in helplessly. Dutta said softly, kissing and biting her lips- I am hopeless..and you are hopelessly in love with me.

Nakusha smiled on his lips and put her arms around him kissing him back deeply. She moved back suddenly leaving him kissing the air. He opened first one then the other eye and found her looking around the room scared. "What?"

Nakkusha said in a whisper- there's still a jumping frog in my room somewhere and it's not jumping anymore.

Dutta grinned- don't worry. I'll fix it. Nakkusha- you brought it here, Mr. Frog Prince. Of course you'll fix it. But how? She looked on the floor cautiously- I can't see it anywhere. Dutta winked at her and whistled-MAYA!!!

A huge furry four-legged creature burst into the room and jumped on the bed making her skip into his arms with a squeak. Her good-natured little mangy pup, Tudu followed that large thing jumping on the bed, making her gape at the audacity as they both attacked her bookcase with deafening barks. She glared at him as he laughed and dragged her on the bed for another passionate kiss.

**************************************************************************************************

Present Day: 25^th December 2010

Mountroad Railway Quarters,Nagpur

Dutta climbed down the ladder after placing the star on the Christmas tree. Fanny gave a misty smile at ben and put her head on his shoulder as he squeezed her arm. Dutta stood behind her putting his arms around her and kissing the top of her head. Ben had refused to put up the star this year. He said he had already relinquished the right to his son and had wanted to wait for him to come and do it.

"But Dad, leaving Christmas tree without the star is bad omen?" Ben looked in the eyes of his brave,stubborn daughter. It killed him every day to see her pretend to be happy while he felt helpless. He didn't blame Dutta either. He knew what he must be feeling, too. He smiled,"Are there anymore bad omens left,beta?" That had made her go quiet. She knew she couldn't fool her parents with her pretense. He hugged her, "He'll come back. We and our tree both will wait for him." She nodded and gave them a brave smile.

Ben saw his children gazing at the light and sparkle of the tree. The beaming smile on his girl's face, his son whispering and laughing wholeheartedly, He knew his face was flushed with the satisfaction of that ad's father. He recalled how at crack of the dawn he had got a call from airport. Dutta had called him. "Uncle Ben, woh..main..Kya main Ghar aa jaun? I mean, can I come home now, please? Forever?" Ben had wiped his eyes sitting up on the bed,"Main aata hoon, beta. Abhi..aata hoon..to pick you up. I'll just call Nakk…" Dutta interrupted him,"No, uncle. I..I want to surprise her. I'll talk to her..please don't tell her. Let her sleep."

Ben smiled. He was glad that the talk had gone well. Apparently, Dutta knew how to pacify an angry lady, unlike him. It had taken him months to pacify his gentle little wife.

Dutta looked at the tree and closed his eyes in prayers. How long had it been since he had prayed? Rick's funeral? He prayed for what he had today, what he had thought would never be his. He prayed that he had not let them down again. Maa,Da, Rick, Ben and Fanny and above all the little girl who followed him around blindly, Naksh. He thanked God, for his life, for love and loved ones. And above all, as he tightened his arms around her waist, he thanked Him for the second chance at life and happiness. He knew now that Christmas wishes came true, even the ones you never realized you had made.

Nakkusha asked him, "What…what made you come back to me,Tudu? You made peace with your pain. How?" Dutta looked at the curious faces around him and smiled looking at his feet,"Aunty, bhook lagi hai..Dinner ke baad..I'll show you all something. I think you all need to see it."

************************************************************************************************

Five years ago: 14^th April 2004

Mountroad Railway Quarters,Nagpur

"Aunty, I have pressed the button. It's rolling now. Once you are done, you press this red button and it stops. Then you just slide this rack open and take out the CD. OK? " Nakkusha moved away adjusting the angle, focusing on the woman reclining on the chair. "Par apne bataya nahi…Why do you want to record it? Who is it for?"

Shakuntala smiled- just felt like leaving something of my voice back. Sab tasveer chod ke jaatey hai,main apni awaaz chod ke jana chahti hoon. It's set now? Nakkusha, beta you go now. I can manage now.

Nakkusha- I'll stay. If you need anything..Shakuntala shook her head- No,beta. I can still carry on. And I don't want to be treated like a invalid. Nakkusha came in front of the lens and kissed her cheeks- You can never be an invalid. You are a very strong lady. And so beautiful! Kash, main aapki beti hoti..I would have been so pretty like you. She pouted looking up at her mischievously. Shakuntala laughed and lightly slapped her cheek,""Makhan baazi? Jaa…your Puranpolis are in the kitchen. And close the fridge properly before leaving. Nakkusha tried to pretend being shocked- Main ne kab kaha mujhe puran chahiye…But if you have made them, I won't say no ,no? She kissed her and looked at the camera smiling and then left.

Shakuntala kept looking at the camera for some time. There was sound of door closing and Nakkusha's "bye aunty.I'll come at night." Shakuntala kept staring at the camera then sat up straight as if focusing at someone sitting before her.

You told me, beta. You said that the thing that hurt you the most when you're Da left us so suddenly was that you didn't get a chance to say goodbye. I didn't want to leave you, too without saying a proper goodbye. There are so many things I want to tell you. It's good, hai na! Science has made so many things easy. Dutta, when I was young, I thought I would never be able to live without my parents. I was the only daughter in house of 3 sons, apple of everyone's eyes. When your Da saw me first time it was when he had come to visit with the boy whose alliance was brought for me by some relative. He was Patil and I was..I was Kamble. There was a caste barrier between us. Time had changed but clock was the same old one. People still carried the old adage," jo kabhi nahi jaati wo hai jaati". At first sight we fell in love. The boy wanted to refuse too. He had someone in city. But he delayed because SriRam wanted to keep seeing me. When things came in the open my father and brother chose the village above me and my happiness. I chose my love for your father over them. We were both selfish in that way. When I left my village and when he broke his ties with his family, I was thinking how will I live my life without my parents,my relatives,friends..bas ek aise aadmi ke saath jise main kuch dinno se jaanti hoon. What if he turned out to be wrong? I was so afraid..a new city,new life,new man..many nights I couldn't sleep thinking that I had made a big mistake..how can I live without my parents..by hurting them like this? I tried so many times to mend the bridge for both our families, they refused. Then slowly, with time…the attraction that I felt for the man turned to deep love and respect. I didn't even realize when your da became everything for me. He was 'enough' for me. I didn't need anyone else..ma,baba,bhai,bhabhi..kissi ki jarurat nahi thi…bas tumhare Da kafi the mere dork o thame rakhne ke liye…everything in my life began with him….then you came..and everything was complete..

Shakuntal leaned back on the chair a faraway smile on her face. She spoke slowly- you know your father saw you 3days after you were born. We had planned everything..he took a week's trip in advance so that he could be home when you came..but you were so impatient to see the world you came 3weeks in advance. But the moment he picked you up…I knew I had a mini SriRam. So like him..thats why when he left me…I could go on..after him you were 'enough' for me. I didn't need my parents or my brothers even then…even then they had chosen the society above us…in front of a little kid..your kaka and mama refused to accept you..i didn't need them..i had you..my brave little boy..

That was the first time I realized how strong my son was..yet was so vulnerable in a way..choti choti chot jaldi ghar kar jaati hai..your father's sudden death left a mark..a deep scar…I should have been there for you but I was broken myself..you didn't break before me…but I saw you crying..to that little girl…I could hear it when she used to creep in..and you would let go. I will always be grateful to her…for those nights.

Like every mother, I want big things for you. I want you to be happy,beta. But above all I want you to find that one person who would be 'enough' for you..like your Da was for me…like you were for me after him. Parents are irreplaceable. They are the dearest links of God to child. But when a child grows up, he leaves their hand and walks his own path. It's not something the parent or child wants but it happens, its life. But we are unlucky parents that we have to leave our child's hand before he is ready to walk his path. But I know, my brave son can walk his path with his head high. I believe in the man in him. I believe the spirit of SriRam who lives through you. You'll be ok. You may fall and get hurt But you will pick yourself up and walk again..aur nahi to Nakkusha hai na..Wo sambhal legi. Bahut pyaari bachchi hai..hai na!

Shakuntala looked at the camera with desperation on her face- Promise me Dutta. You'll be happy in your life. You will find the happiness and the reason for the happiness without us. You'll fulfill all your ambitions and ours too. You'll find that person who will make you forget our void and be enough for you. You'll have a new family, without us and be there for them. Promise, beta! You kept your last promise to your Da..I want my last promise, too.

I am not afraid to die. I am not in pain..Well, actually, I am in helluva pain but then it's neither here nor there..it's good your didn't come, in a way. I didn't want you to see me in pain. Like I am sick and invalid..i would have hated seeing you dying a little with me every day. It would be hard enough with fanny and ben and Nakkusha there..atleast they will be with you, after me. Don't be mad with yourself, don't blame yourself. I am proud of you…your Da is proud of you..nothing you do will ever make us feel ashamed of you. You are the best son a mother can have..I was so alone when I had you..as if you knew I was missing your Da..you never gave me a trouble with your birth…you were perfect. You are perfect, beta..

And I know you'll be perfect man…a good husband and a good father. And that's all any parent could ask for from their children, to be good human beings..I love you…beta..a lot..if I could stay with you to see you grow and achieve more…I would but I have to go..and this is the hardest goodbye..I have ever said. I love you..We both love you.

She leaned forward and switched the camera off.

**************************************************************************************************

Present Day: 25^th December 2010

Mountroad Railway Quarters,Nagpur

Francesca Ann Winget looked at the blurred screen of the TV. She got up and sat down in front of it, touching it lightly. The static of the screen monitor crackled on her fingers. She looked at Dutta tears in her eyes. Fanny- My friend was so brave..so loving. She took care of everything..but we came across it so late.

Dutta- the CD was amongst the things you had packed for me last year. It got mixed with my…my work. And that's how I found it. Fanny got up slowly- the things I packed…it was fate then..

Dutta- Fate? Fanny nodded- after your ma died and you left a note to us to sell everything, I sold everything…furniture, your bike…everything..but..but I couldn't sell the memories. Your childhood clothes that she had shown me so proudly. She was saving them for you babies. Your family albums, there were pictures of you three together. Then there were your medals and trophies, she used to dust them every day..your CD collection which she called noise and your books..i tried but those things were priceless to her..how could I sell them? Who bhi raddi mein..10rupiya kilo..Meri dost ki yaadein bas 10rupiya kilo..

Nakkusha went and hugged her mom. Fanny smiled- I thought that since you have come once, you won't leave now. Not when you knew how much my daughter loved you! So I just packed those things along, thinking that maybe looking at those albums and CDs and books you will think again..I didn't know about..about this.

Dutta- aunty, can I see those other things? She smiled holding back a sob and nodded. After a long time those memories which have waited long were about to be revisited by the right man. Fanny blinked back her tears as Nakkusha and Dutta opened the chest in the attic and looked at its potpourri content of memories. Fanny looked at the CD in her hand and smiled,"He has found his 'enough', Shakuntala. Please rest in peace now."