She can never forget the first time - the candles, the moonlight streaming through the window and, most of all, the overwhelming feeling of anticipation. Because her stupidly honourable boyfriend had refused to sleep with her until his album released and they were official, she'd had to wait months for that day. Who would have expected that from the country's only rock star? She had fluffed the pillows just so and squeezed into her sexiest neglige. Everything had to be perfect. She hadn't even forgotten the box of condoms or the bottle of lube on the nightstand. Rumour had it that the legendary rock star was legendary in other aspects too and she wanted everything to go smoothly.
And then he had arrived, his dog tags swinging around his thick neck, and all her planning had gone out of the window. He had immediately swept her up into his arms and deposited her onto the bed, messing up the artfully arranged pillows. She can't remember much of her first time with Abhi the man, except that it probably wasn't the best. After all, they had yet to learn each other's bodies. But her first time with Abhi the rock star was unforgettable. What she remembers most is the feeling of achievement when he was in her arms. The triumph when he came because of her. The entire country wanted him, and she had him.
She looks around the room again - same room, same decor, same brand of condoms on the nightstand. She even has the same bottle of lube on the nightstand; it's been so long that she might need it. In fact she can't even remember the last time, maybe sometime before he got married? The stupid, idiotic, dangerous marriage that she had pushed him into. She wants to bang her head in frustration. But she won't. She needs to be perfectly coiffed and available for him when he comes. Much more available than that stupid behenji who, without Tanu knowing it, has somehow become her competition.
She puts on an extra spritz of perfume. She checks her make up. She even turns on the TV and catches up with all the fashion shows she should have been at. She waits, but he does not come.
What does come is an abrupt text message - "Sorry Tanu, Fuggy's mom is sick. Let's reschedule." She throws the phone against the wall and it cracks pathetically.
He isn't coming tonight. Maybe not even tomorrow night or the night after that. She can't remember the last time he came and stayed.
She can never forget the first time. But she's beginning to fear that she's already missed the last.
