And now we come to Part 3! Thank you so much for all your support so far. I'd first like to thank the wonderful and multi-talented -mina- for helping me with the more "adult" scenes and formatting. And secondly, I'd like to mention that part of this chapter was inspired by a scene in Courtney Milan's novella Unlocked which I highly recommend you read.
"What - what do you mean?" She backed away in surprise. He too looked a little baffled for a second. Clearly, no matter what else had changed, his habit of putting his words before his thoughts hadn't. He regained composure quickly though.
"I mean exactly what I said. You want me vulnerable, I want to make it up to you. Come up to my room and I'll show you."
"Come up to your room? I am not your supermodel girlfriend Abhishek - "
"EX - girlfriend."
"I'm not stupid. Given your family talent for making incriminating videos, what's to say you won't have a camera inside, ready to humiliate the behenji who is so desperate she will go up to her ex-husband's hotel room for a quick romp?"
He jerked back as if slapped. She regretted the accusatory words as soon as they left her mouth. Yes, he had never trusted her, but he had also never given her a reason not to trust him. Yes, he had married her for deceitful purposes but had revealed the truth to her the next day itself.
He had a habit of blurting out truths to her, whether be it the truth of their marriage or the fact that Tanu had proposed to him. He had never let her down during the elaborate charade for her mother's health. For better or for worse, he was an open book. That's what had made her start to fall in love with him, wasn't it?
Abhishek Prem Mehra was many things, but underhanded was not one of them. She saw that although she had just insulted him, he met her gaze steadily, fearlessly.
"Okay."
"What?"
"Come up to my room - only to talk. And only because I want closure."
"Thank you."
Closure. Such a final word. Such a deceptive word. had come over her? She didn't even have a plan and yet here she was, heading straight towards her room.
It was strangely intimate to have him in the room with her, in what was technically her space. Although he looked awkward and ill at ease, his body seemed to take over the entire room. Still, she liked that for once she was more familiar with their environment than he was. "Sit." She indicated the little wooden chair. No way was she going to let him go near her bed!
"Why are you here Abhishek?" She sighed, "You've apologised many times, don't apologise again. But what do you want from this?" She waved a hand to indicate both of them, perched stiffly in their respective positions.
"I came here because I selfishly wanted to beg your forgiveness again and because I wanted to make amends. Guess that was one part of my rock star ego still remaining in me...I hoped that I might be able to make things up to you," he sighed bitterly. "But...I have learnt recently what self-loathing is..."
He had an anguished look on his face and she had to sit on her hands to stop them from smoothing out his frown. "I can never forgive myself for acting in a manner that made me feel that way. And if I can't forgive even myself for that, how can I even ask you to forgive me for making you hate yourself?"
He stood up again, "forgive me for wasting your time, and congratulations on getting selected as a delegate." He gave her small, sad, smile before turning to leave.
She had never seen the massive rock star so hunched over, so defeated, and she couldn't help herself. "Wait." He stopped in his tracks. "You never did tell me exactly what you meant when you said you wanted to be vulnerable to me." Her darned curiosity was piqued.
"It was a silly, childish idea. Two of the biggest problems in our marriage were that I never trusted you," he had the decency to look ashamed at this, "and that...I always had more power than you did."
When did he become so self-aware? "I thought that if I made myself vulnerable to you, then we would deal with both of those problems. You could have power over me, and I could show that I trusted you." His words sent a warm feeling washing through her body. How many times she had begged the universe that her husband would trust her, and here he was, offering himself up to her.
"And how exactly did you plan to make yourself vulnerable to me?"
"I hadn't really thought of that, he chuckled. "I don't know - you could call a press conference right now and say whatever you want as Mrs. Abhishek Mehra. I will arrange it so that all the journalists come. Or you could take the keys to my recording studio. Or you could take naked photos of me and keep it on your phone," he grinned.
Naked. Her eyes widened at his last suggestion. Now why did that sound so much more appealing than it should? To her dismay, a crazy idea was already forming in her mind.
"Stand next to the bed." He obeyed without question. She retrieved a teal dupatta from her handbag. Oh! He actually remembered this one; it had been his favourite outfit. Pragya twisted the long garment in her hands, as if testing its strength. Slowly, she approached him and lifted his right hand. Before he could process the tingling he felt from her touch, she had securely tied his hand to the bedpost. Abhi groaned. She was supposed to punish him, not do what he'd been dreaming about for months!
She stepped back to check her handiwork. She had to admit; it did give her a little thrill to see her strong husband tied to the bedpost. "So what do you think I'm going to do now?"
"Tie me up," he managed to choke out.
"If you knew, why didn't you stop me?" She said in surprise.
"Trust."
Pragya looked shocked at his answer. Sadly, he seemed to have lost her trust as soon as she had gained his. She stood there for a minute, looking him up and down, and a slow burn coursed through his body. He hoped she wouldn't look down again. Even his innocent Pragya would understand exactly what sort of punishment she was giving him.
"Well, are you going to just stand there staring at me or are you going to finish what you started?" he challenged.
"Shh..." she raised a slender finger to his lips. "Or I'll have to find some way to put your mouth out of commission too."
He had to bite his lip to stop himself from moaning. Was she really that innocent, or just that cruel? Either way, it wasn't helping his situation one bit.
But his dear wife seemed unconcerned with his troubles and was scanning the room. Oh dear, it didn't seem like she'd thought this plan through - there didn't seem to be anything left to tie up his other arm.
Undeterred, she determinedly walked back to her suitcase and pulled a red and gold dupatta from the very bottom. The gatbandhan dupatta! She had pulled out the garment that had literally tied them together for the first time. Had she carried it with her all these months?
Little waves of hope nudged the embankment around his heart. Could she possibly still have feelings for me?
Pragya seemed oblivious to his turmoil, however, as she started to tie up his other hand.
It was so ironic that even though he was being tied to a lamp bracket with his own nuptial knot, he felt freer than he had in months. As she tightened the knot around his wrist, the knot in his heart loosened with hope.
Unfortunately, she wasn't having very much success with this hand, and had to climb on a chair to reach the bracket. Even more unfortunately, this position put him very, very close to her.
He had a wonderful view of the shadows underneath her blouse. Just one little exhale and he could plant his nose right on the little dip in her collarbone. If he moved his head just an inch his lips would land on her chest. Stay still, stay still.
Pragya fumbled with knot. He was so, so close to her. If she sighed, his lips would graze her scorched skin. If she bent her head just a couple of degrees his hair would graze her chin. Let your head fall, it'll be worth it.
No. Nothing was worth bending her head for. The memory of what had happened last time she'd let her hormones act around him pierced her mind. Never again. She had to increase the distance between them. His heavy-lidded gaze was drawing her in and she dropped her eyes, only to fall on something far more unsettling.
"Enjoying this a little too much are we?" She mocked. Gulp. An Adam's Apple moving up and down. She wanted to place her lips on it. Focus.
"No," he croaked. "It's just been a very long time." Wrong answer.
"Of course. Of course you wouldn't voluntarily be attracted to poor little Chashmish. But your body wants it. And maybe I'll give it what it needs. Everybody already thinks I'm damaged goods. Might as well get something out of the bargain. Anyway behenjis like me wouldn't get kissed any other way." She leaned into him.
"No. I don't deserve to be your first kiss. You should share your first kiss with someone who makes your heart fly, who makes you feel free, who makes your world colourful."
If you say so.
She kissed him.
A/N: Thank you so much for reading. Please leave your comments and (especially) criticisms - they really help me grow as a writer. All feedback is really meaningful and much appreciated.
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