he knows who he is and what he wants and nothing in the world can make him feel small and inadequate
well, except daadi's disapproval or fuggy's frowns, but he does what he can to avoid those
well he doesn't avoid fuggy's frowns, that's impossible
fuggy is his soul mate and his better half, so she frowns as much as he smiles, that's the cosmic balance of the universe
anyway it would never occur to him that there exists a man foolish enough or blind enough to make a move on what very clearly belongs to/with rockstar
so he never gets jealous, not ever
not to say he doesn't get possessive - he prefers to have a monopoly on fuggy's time and attention, thank you very much, and when junior rockstar-chasmishes come along he's going to have a hard time adjusting to being second-best, but that hasn't happened yet and so in his view there is nothing or no one that could claim his share of fuggy's caring
but he never gets jealous, not ever, because there is no man on the planet who can touch what is his, simple as that
and also, he knows his fuggy, he knows she would never encourage or allow anyone to get inappropriately close to her. he knows his fuggy is a one-man woman, and he is that man, and all is well with the world
so given all this, given that he hasn't experienced any kind of jealousy since way back in his chawl days when food insecurity and poverty kept him from having the rock-solid self possession he has now -
given all this, he has no way to understand the burning in his veins that happens when fuggy's lumberjack friend comes to visit
he'd never for a second think that anything is happening between fuggy and the lumberjack. he knows, he knows all the hugs and cheek kisses are innocent, that when the lumberjack puts an arm around her shoulder and fuggy leans into him and smiles up at him, he knows that's just the same as if the lumberjack were her brother or her uncle
he knows that when fuggy makes the lumberjack sit with her and spoon-feeds him kheer she's made with her own hands, it's just the same as if she was spoon-feeding bunty or puneet or aakash
he knows that when the lumberjack gives fuggy a sari for her birthday, it's no different from daadi giving her a suit for a festival. he knows that when the lumberjack smiles as fuggy comes down the stairs in her new half-net sari with the lace-sleeve blouse, no chashma, and her hair piled in a complicated updo that bares her slim neck...he knows, he knows, he knows he's the only one who will get to kiss that slim neck, later in the night...
but all the things rockstar knows cannot seem to stem the tide of nervous tension that runs through him as he watches the lumberjack take fuggy to their class reunion...and though he is the most confident man on earth, the last ever to experience any insecurities, though he doesn't even know the definition of jealousy...
somewhere in the deepest corner of his heart rockstar knows too that no matter what he knows, his fuggy has become so precious to him that...that...he can't help but have just a tiny little insecurity about...maybe, someday, somehow...losing her
and he knows he'll never lose her to the lumberjack, that straight up won't happen, but it's only the lumberjack's presence that seems to stir up these feelings...
but rockstar is not a petty man, and he can handle his feelings, and far from letting his jealousy turn him into an ogre he often jokes that fuggy should spend more time with her handsy lumberjack friend...but when she comes home afterward, he also makes damn sure to remind her with his hands and mouth and every part of his body that she's his...
which is a lesson neither of them needs. but it makes him feel better, so they do it anyway.
THE END
