To my dear Bawa...
"Nidhi ...kahaan ho..."??it was a worried dr ashutosh who looked around as he awoke and his arm could not feel the softness of nidhi next to him..she emerged from the wash room..bathed n fresh in her pale blue churidaar with a blue sweater..."ready kyun hui..kal raat tak fever high tha...take it easy...aao idhar.."and as dr ashutosh tried to hold her..she pouted.."theek hoon ab...aaj sunday hai..chaliyena kahin ..kal se to phir wahi college ..hospital...lagta hai zindagi fisli jaa rahi hai haathon se"!!ashutosh smiled n held her hands"badi philosophical ho gayi ho...per main maane waala nahi..no outing..aaj only rest..next weekend we d see..chalo leto..i d get breakfast organised..come here n lie down..thats an order..."!and he was gone ...as nidhi lay..closing her eyes..indeed she was feeling drained..
The entire day dr ashutosh sat by nidhi..trying to talk about her college n friends..n finally asked if she d like to call her baba n dadi bua??nidhi almost got up"bhool ke bhi nahi..dadi bua band baja dengi...aur tulsi..haldi..kya kya pilaayengi..plz ..she s worse than MD!!"and ashutosh just held her hand..."tumhe itna bura lagta hai md karna..."??nidhi looked at him...n sighed "aapse jhooth nahi kahoongi..i have never been academically oriented..i myself dont know how i compete..my diagnosis is always on my gut feel..."ashutosh held her"to..tum kya chahti ho..."??nidhi lowered her eyes"aap jaante hain..phir poochte kyun hain..."??ashutosh got up..looking out of the window at the winter sun setting in the lazy afternoon.."janti ho nidhi..mera bachpan...agar usse bachpan kaho to..kaise beeta??akela..tanha...majboor...main nahi jaanta mere maa baap kaun the..per yeh zuroor jaanta hoon...ki unhe shaayad meri zuroorat nahi thi..tabhi to...muflisi..garibi..bhookh me chod diya mujhe akele...aur main...shayad yeh kabhi bhool nahi saka hoon..that insecurity has always lived in me..maine dekha hai..bachchon ko marte hue...you always ask me..why dont i want a baby...sach kahoon..ek to tumhari kum umr..aur meri insecurities...mere man ke dabe hue andhere...darta hoon ..ki pata nahi apne bachche ..ke saath poora insaaf kar paaonga bhi ya nahi...will i make a good father??i mean a good Dad??i really amnt sure...aur buss isiliye...and secondly..i sincerely feel..mujhse shaadi karke tumne apni umr ke doston ko khoya hai..main tumhe waqt se pehle bada hote hue nahi dekhna chahta..i dont want ur shoulders to weigh with responsibility. .aur nidhi..kya hum..hum tum kaafi nahi hain...atleast for a few years more..."??nidhi did not speak...she knew the gloom that still lived in some dark corner of his heart..n she was relieved that ge had begun to let her enter in those crevasses. .as she sighed..he came back to her n held her face"ach ha tum batao..why do u want a baby now..rt now"??nidhi gulped n looked away..."chidiye jaane deejiye..aaj aapne apne dil ke bakhiya udhede..main bhi udhedungi..kisi roz..per aaj nahi..
Shayad tired hoon..."and she lay diwn..closing her eyes..and just as she shut her lids appeared the cute lil girl...the child of her dreams...could dr ashutosh not share this dream...
Will he never ...?and two tears flowed out...ashutosh sitting next to her..gulped as he wiped them n nidhi spoke..holding on to his hand"waqt aur pyaar sab zakhm bhar dete hain...shaayad aapke zakhm bhi mere pyaar se bhar jaayein..."!!and ashutosh just kissed her fingers...
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"Arre kya hua...kyun ..amin kahaan"??ashutosh did not answer...just held nidhi n brought her out..and in the drawing room sat dadi bua n col verma...and as they got up..ashutosh smiled n said"dadi bua..yaad rahe aap apni poti ko tulsi pila sakti thi..per meri biwi ko nahi..."!!and cv laughed n added"yes dr ..aapki biwi sirf coffee peeti hai"!!and nidhi smiled as she sat..n dadi bua pried.."bukhaar hai yaa kuch aur..."??and nidhi looked the other way...as dadi bua changed the topic n added"arre woh dr Ranganath ab solankis je saath rahenge...anji ne yehi shart rakhi hai...agar..family badhani hai to..."!!nidhi looked shocked...and as ashutosh added"surprised..dr ranganath ne kych share nahi kiya.."nidhi nodded"aur anji needs to realise...relationship sharton pe nahi chalti...understanding pe chalti hain..."!CV narrated how anji was just not willing to go to Ranga..n he too was adamant...baba smiled n said"pata nahi colonel...per mujhe nahi lagta yeh theek hua..hur rishte ki ek seema hoti hai..ek daayra hota hai...aur jab daayre toote hain to rishte ulajhte hain...sulajhte nahi...and ashutosh seemed to agree...as he looked at nidhi ..but then was called by dadi bua..as she walked to the kitchen..
"Jee dadi bua..."said he...n dadi bua fidgeted..for once a little hesitant...but then braced up..."daaktar..ab zimmedariyon ka ehsaas hona chahiye..aakhir kum umr to hai nahi tumhari...tumhe nahi lagta ki samdhiji ko bhi is ghar ka sannata khalta hoga..
"??and dr ashutosh sighed...as he tried to dodge n said"dadi bua..hur chahat ka ek waqt hota hai..jab iska waqt aayega to yeh bhi poori ho jaayegi..."and nidhi sitting a lil far ...tried to hold back her tears...as her eyes met baba's ...n she could feel him understand the conflict of their dreams desires n fears...
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"Dr this is not a gift..yeh to bus ..christmas ka .."said the owner of the pharma firm as dr mallika returned the large hamper..."sorry...ashutosh ke instructions hain..no gifts..."the director sighed as he got up..taking the hamper back...n aed"madam kabhi bhi..kuch bhi kaam ho..to yaad keejiyega..banda haazir hoga..."!!and dr mallika nodded n added"plz close the door after you..."!!
As she walked for the staff meeting in the hall..
Dr ashutosh had detailed plans for the new wing that was going to come up and the drs were all giving their inputs ..it was after a long discussion that they finalised the designs n everyone agreed with dr ashutosh that KGH should have a super speciality children's ward..
Ashutosh smiled as he wound up..adding that KGH will keep their policy of concession for the underprivileged even in the new wing...n as he walked out...there was a dream in his eyes...a dream of seeing dr nidhi head this paediatric unit...but did nidhi share his dream...???ashutosh sighed...
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"Dr nidhi..your diagnosis was spot on..brilliant judgment of enciphillitis..very common amongst children.."said dr Bhagat as the group of MD students walked out with him from the ward..n as they wished him bye..nidhi smiled n said"see you sir..see you tomorrow"it had been a month now..n dr Bhagat had begun to have a grudging respect n even affection for his senior's wife..who was his student..what realy impressed him was the fact that nidhi never ever used the clout of her husband. .the world famous dr Ashutosh! !"hey dr nidhi..you seemed a lil preoccupied. .any trouble again"??nidhi smiled n said"no sir..all well..its just that i love wards...but i hate lectures"!!and dr Bhagat laughed at her honesty"dr nidhi..its like saying..u love the softy but you hate the cone"!!and nidhi laughed as she said"sir i d leave...unke aane ja waqt ho gaya ..."!and dr Bhagat smiled as he added"sure...ashutosh sir is blessed to have you.."and the two walked their ways...
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"Kya baat ashu...kuch soch raha hai kya"??asked baba..as ashutosh sat fiddling with his i pad..."baba..agle week three day weekend hai..soch raha tha nidhi ko kahi le jaaoon..per kahaan??cant decide..."!and as nidhi's car came..ashutosh put a finger to his lips n whispered:surprise...plz"and baba smiled...
As the family sat for dinner ..baba switched on the tv..and they chatted with the meal of peas n paratha...as nidhi suddenly exclaimed "arre snow fall in.mussoorie...hmmm main to kabhi jaa hi nahi payi mussoorie..."!!and ashu looked at her..wide eyed"really
..not been to mussoorie"??and nidhi spoke"aap to aise keh rahe hain ki mussoorie koi hasrat ganj hai..ki muh utha ke chale gaye "!!and got up to keep baba's plate n get some coffee...as ashutosh's gaze met baba's and the two smiled as baba gave a thums up sign...n ashutosh smiled...the sun of love shining even in the winter night...
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"Is weekend kya kaenge..."asked nidhi as she lay in his arms after he had made love to her n was still caressing her ear lobes..he raised his eyebrow n said"hazrat ganj me chaat aur shopping...ya...ek long drive.."??and nidhi nodded seemingly pleased...as she came closer to her husband...n he looked deep into her eyes...understanding the question ...in thise lovely eyes...he kissed her hair n said"kuch sawaalon ke jawaab sirf waqt de paata hai..to abhi ke liye tumhara sawaal waqt pe chod dein...bolo to"??and nidhi smiled...as she hid in his bare chest n nodded...quite sure that one day her love will make the sun shine n all darkness will clear away...n then even in dr ashutosh's dreams ..there will arise n appear that cute lil baby in pink frock...with curly hair...cuddling up to him n crooning "papppa..."!!
Anupamaa
Iss Pyaar Ko Kya Naam Doon
