FF Complete: Closing the Loop (Part 18-21 - Pg 64) - Page 50

"We need to talk," the doctor told Ashutosh after they had settled Nandini in the hospital room with life support system.

"Yeah," Ashutosh said that made to go outside the room.

"I will come too," Nidhi said.

"Are you sure?" Ashutosh was not sure she will be able to bear the doctor saying what they expected him to say.

"Yes," she was determined.

Doctor's information was expected. She would need continuous life support till she lasted. But one could not say how long even that would help her. It might be few days, or few weeks; in rare cases, few months. They must embrace themselves for the eventuality. They couldn't and shouldn't plan to stay in the hospital all the time. It won't be feasible. But they should try to spend time with her when she was conscious. And any relatives or friends who should visit her in her last days should be informed now.

Ashutosh looked at Nidhi. She wasn't breaking down. He sighed and sat down on a bench nearby. He looked exhausted.

"Tired?" she placed her hand on his shoulders and asked.

"How are you?" he asked instead of replying.

"I have accepted life. I hold no grudges against it."

He smiled weakly at her.

"What is it?" she asked sensing that he was anxious.

"Nothing. Looks like our roles have reversed."

"And it is fine. One person cannot shoulder all the responsibilities all the time."

"You suddenly sound so grown up."

"May be I have grown up."

"Forced to grow up?"

"Inspired to. But you still haven't told me. What is bugging you?"

"Let me drop you home. Ma is sleeping. We will come back in the morning."

"What is it?" she asked adamantly.

"Nidhi!" Ashutosh was irritated.

His anger subdued her, "I am sorry. Let's go."

But she also showed her annoyance through their drive back. She did not speak to him and if forced to reply, she did so in monosyllables. She made to get out of the car as soon as they pulled over in front of her home and didn't even wish him a good night.

"Wait Nidhi," he pulled her back to her seat, "Don't leave in anger."

She didn't reply. So, he said, "Let's go inside and talk."

--

"Why are you so angry?" he asked her once they were inside.

"Won't you be if I did the same to you?"

He sighed, "Yes. But you are already going through so much."

"Then don't make me go through more by hiding your problems from me. It's not like you can really lie and hide."

"It's not a problem Nidhi. Just a nagging thought, guilt..."

"Guilt?"

"I... I had thought we would wait... But I got carried away. We were here, lost in our own world and there she needed oxygen. You should have been there... We should have been there... It was like I pulled you away from her when..."

"You are so hard on yourself. Way too hard... Let go..."

"May be... I just... I don't know. I felt guilty."

She went forward and held his hands, "At least remember this. Whatever we do, we do it together. You are not responsible for anything alone. Okay?"

He smiled and nodded.

"You have taken it all on yourself for far too long. But now I am there to share your responsibilities."

"It feels good," Ashutosh said after a few moments of silence.

"You know something. The nurses on duty often send me away when I sit with Mom and she is not conscious. They say my presence will disturb her sleep. I don't know if that's true or just an alibi. May be they do it so that I don't get depressed sitting there all the time. May be that's why the doctor asked us not to be at the hospital all the time. May be its not her they are protecting, but us. But there is no way of knowing. If we cry for a dead person, does it pain his soul because his loved ones are in grief? Or would he feel unloved, if we don't cry. If we sit there beside Mom all the time, would she like it or would she feel bad that we are getting depressed because of her? We don't know. We will never know. There are times when people who should be answering the questions are not there to answer them. So, we just have to accept these unsolvable questions; just like we have to accept the life. And we have to randomly pick up our choices. I am trying to be strong, to not break down. I know that's what she wanted me to do, at least till she was able to express herself. I don't know what she wants now. No. I can't become detached. I will keep her alive with the life support, so long as it is possible. I won't let her go even though it might mean that she suffers for longer. And I know I will cry when she is gone... I will cry so much that you will be worried for me. Still I am trying to be strong, to be normal. And you have worked so hard to help me reach here. You should not break down now. Please... Don't beat yourself up. We can't do anything for her. Really, we can't. I have realized and accepted it. But we do have to hold ourselves together..."

"Your Mom would be so proud of you today Nidhi..."

"I hope so," she said blinking back her tears.

"I should leave now."

"Don't go. Mom is not here tonight. I am alone."

"Nidhi?"

"And I am scared. Despite all the... brave talk."

"It's all right. I will be in the guest room. It's not appropriate..."

"That's fine."

"Good night Nidhi."

"Good night."

--

"You had a look at the presentation for the sponsors?" Nidhi came to Ashutosh' office and asked.

"I did. I will send you the comments by the evening... What happened? You look tired?"

"Nothing. Was preparing for the extra lectures. I think I would be able to finish the course by next week. And have also finished grading the mid-semester papers."

"You shouldn't fall ill..."

"I am fine. I am going to leave early today. I will have another meeting with the research team to go over the final presentation tomorrow... which reminds me... After the last meeting, you had asked me about my students calling me by first name. What was the problem?"

"Problem is Dr. Verma that I am jealous."

"Huh?"

"Because even my ex-students do not give me that privilege."

"What privilege... Oh..." she smiled as she understood that he was referring to her, "So you suddenly have this urge of being called by your first name by your ex-students?"

"At least by one..."

"Too late, Sir. You have to cultivate that habit from day one."

"There has to be a way of undoing things."

"If there is, find it," she teased him with a challenging smile and left.

--

"Hello Sir?" Nidhi woke up from her sleep with Ashutosh' call. She had come home early as she had told him and had gone to sleep.

"Sorry to wake you up Nidhi, but you might want to come to the hospital."

"What happened?" she panicked.

"Ma is conscious. She is even able to talk a bit. Come over."

"I will be there in twenty minutes max."

Nidhi found Anji also at the hospital. She and Ashutosh were sitting beside Nandini's bed and were talking to Nandini. Nidhi smiled and went by her side.

"Nidhi," Nandini smiled on seeing her.

"You look well, Mom," Nidhi smiled back and caressed her forehead affectionately."

"Are you doing well, my child?"

"I am perfectly fine. Don't stress yourself. And Rangnath," she turned to him, "How are you?"

"I am fine Nidhi. Me and Anji were passing by this area. So, I thought we should drop by."

"Good you did that. By herself she would not have come on two consecutive days."

"That's not fair Nidhi. I have been meeting you regularly now," Anji complained.

"I know, I know, I am just joking," Nidhi smiled.

"And since so many people are here today and everyone is so happy, I want to do something that will make me very happy too," Ashutosh said suddenly.

Nidhi was amused at his riddle and teased him, "Good to know that you think about your own happiness too. So, what is going to make you happy?"

"If, with your Mom's permission, you will say 'yes' to me," he said and took out a ring from his pocket while Nidhi stared at him and the ring in surprise. He took her hand in his and asked, "May I?"

Her eyes became moist. She looked at Nandini, who smiled. Nidhi turned back to Ashutosh and nodded while blushing heavily. Ashutosh slipped the ring on her finger. Anji and Rangnath clapped and suddenly produced a bouquet that they handed over to Nidhi, "Congratulations!"

"Where did this come from?" Nidhi was surprised. Anji, Rangnath and Ashutosh grinned in response. "You planned all this?" she addressed Ashutosh.

"Kind of. I had to do it some time. But when I saw that Ma was awake today, I thought this was the day. Thankfully Anji and Rangnath could make it in time."

"Thank you, Ashutosh," Nandini spoke now, "You can't imagine how happy I am today."

"Thank you," Ashutosh replied emphatically, "But for you, I would still be struggling with my confusions and insecurities."

"What else are old people there for?" Nandini hadn't lost her sense of humor even with her illness. Everyone laughed at her remark.

--

Ashutosh kissed her hand near the ring he had slipped on her finger earlier in the evening. "Do you know what this means, Nidhi?"

"I think I do. Everyone does. But probably you have a new meaning in mind."

"No. Nothing new. By accepting this ring, you accepted to be my life partner. As my equal. And that is important!"

"Why?"

"Because this new relationship, of being equal partners, now supersedes any relationship we have had till now. Anything that made us unequal, teacher-student, boss-subordinate, mentor-mentee, they don't matter any longer. This relationship is what matters."

Nidhi realized where this was leading to, "So, you have found a way of undoing things."

"Have I succeeded?"

"I don't know what am I supposed to do as an equal partner," Nidhi said sincerely, "You must know that I respect you a lot and still look up to you."

"So do I. Mutual respect is a good thing for any relationship, don't you think so?"

"Yeah," Nidhi laughed slightly as if feeling stupid about what she said, "And I want to share your responsibilities."

"You already are doing that. There is just one simple thing I want you to do."

"I know. But you do realize that it is more a matter of habit, than equality."

"Undo the habit!"

"I will try."

"I won't leave you at trying. You have to do it."

"All right, Sir," Nidhi said to tease him and then giggled.

"That was a bad idea Dr. Nidhi Verma," he held her tight and pulled her close to him, "Now rectify it, right away."

Nidhi blushed and said, "Ashutosh."

"Say it again."

"Ashutosh."

"Again."

"Ashutosh."

He had closed in on her by then and rest of their words drowned in their kiss.

"This is the night of engagement, not the wedding, do you remember that?" Nidhi said playfully, when even after breaking the kiss, he kept caressing her nape and back.

"I remember. But do you care?"

"No. Do you?"

"Not any longer. You are too bewitching my sweet, dear fiance," he said and started kissing all over her face. Nidhi responded with gusto as she nuzzled and nibbled on his neck and chest. She was surprised, when he suddenly lifted her in his arms. She hadn't realized how strong he was compared to her. Once she did, she relaxed, wrapped her hands around his neck and closed her eyes. He gently laid her down on the bed and climbed on top of her. He practically pinned her down and started a sweet assault on her senses as he kissed and caressed her entire body. Soon, she was writhing under him. "Please," she hissed, "Ashutosh. Please..." Hearing her utter his name did it for him as he let go of himself and finally collapsed on top of her. It took them a few minutes to catch their breath, after which he lied down on the bed beside her, still keeping her in his arms and pulled her closer to himself. After a while, he turned on his side and used his free hand to play with her hair. "Are you fine?" he asked softly.

"Very," she replied with a blushing smile. He bent down, kissed her forehead and then lied back on the bed again.

--

"Hold on, hold on... Isn't that ring new Dr. Verma? Are you engaged?" Meher suddenly exclaimed. Nidhi was having lunch there with her and some female faculty members. She hadn't thought about the ring being noticed at all and was taken by surprise.

"Really?" Everybody's interest was piqued at the table, as the leaned towards her to look at the ring.

"Indeed! I don't remember you wearing this earlier. You are engaged?"

"Umm... Well... Yeah..." Nidhi fumbled.

"That's not fair. We weren't even invited..."

"Yeah. It just... happened... suddenly..."

"Who is the guy?" Some other faculty members had also heard the commotion over the ring and had come to the table.

"Umm... You will meet him soon," she said and got up from the table, "I need to go."

She heard someone mumble, "I am wondering... Dr. Mathur..."

"Dr. Mathur? Are you crazy?"

"They are often seen together."

"Yes. But he is a helpful sort of person. They are no match for each other. She is much younger to him. I mean, come on, he has taught her."

"And he is the most gentlemanly soul I have ever seen. This is impossible."

--

"What happened?" Ashutosh asked when Nidhi walked into his office and sat down on the visitor's chair with a sigh.

"The ring... Everyone is noticing it... And asking questions..."

"Oh! Look... Nidhi... It's nothing. If you are not comfortable telling people, you can take it off..."

"Of course not! What are you saying?" Nidhi looked scandalized at the idea.

"Calm down. I was just... trying to be practical. What do you think? Should we tell people?"

"I don't know. Not now... So many things are messed up right now... I don't want to draw unnecessary attention."

"They have to know sooner or later..."

"Yes. But..."

"Tell me Nidhi."

"It's complicated, right? You are my boss. I don't know how they will take it. That too, I am new here right now. All kinds of questions will come up and too much of scrutiny. Issues of favoritism... I am sorry. Don't get me wrong, but I think right now I am not up for dealing with it all."

"I understand Nidhi... Don't worry. Let's be discreet at work then. After a while, once you have established yourself here, we will rethink this."

"Thanks. And it seems people won't even believe it is you," she suddenly chuckled.

"What was that?"

She narrated what she had overheard in the canteen. Ashutosh also felt amused, "Now that wasn't a problem I had anticipated."

"I think it is good for now. Keeps us off the hook."

"I guess so."

"And in front of others, I will continue calling you Sir or Dr. Mathur."

"Okay Ma'am," Ashutosh sighed with a smile.

"And yeah. Tomorrow, a very interesting person is joining us as a Research Assistant."

"Who?"

"His name is Rohan Moitra. He is a Computer Science graduate. He has been working in US and Bangalore for a while, but is taking a break for a year. He wants to do something different in this period, and doesn't care about money. So, we found him and he found us!"

"Good. I hope he will be able to help you with analytical stuff like you wanted."

"Yep! Are you free in the morning? Shall I have you meet him then?"

"Sure. First half is free."

"Cool."

--

"Sir, this is Rohan. He is joining us as an RA today. I already told you about him. Rohan, this is Dr. Ashutosh Mathur. Our HOD. Make sure you keep him happy, else your meager salary won't be released," Nidhi introduced them with the joke.

"Hi Rohan. Welcome. And don't worry about keeping me happy. The toughest person to please here is Dr. Verma herself. If she is happy, everyone else will be."

"Thanks Ashutosh. I figured it out during the interview itself. She is difficult to please."

"All right. Don't gang up against me," Nidhi said, "Have your introductory chat. Rohan, you should go back to Meher after this. She will help you finish all the other administrative formalities. I will be in my office, if you need me."

"Sure Nidhi. Thanks."

"So, Rohan," Ashutosh started the conversation after Nidhi left, "What made you take up this job at a Social Sciences institute? Nidhi told me you are a Computer Science graduate."

"Yeah. I have doing Computer Science for last five years. It's good, but I needed a break and a change. I was considering various options, including working for some NGOs, but this looked like the most solid and challenging opportunity."

"How so?"

"Nidhi's vision of doing solid Social Science research was genuine and sincere. Plus the way she presented her research ideas, anyone would be impressed."

"Yeah," Ashutosh smiled. She still had that ability to make people want to agree with her, he thought fondly.

They chatted for a while and then Rohan took his leave from Ashutosh.

--

"So, how was the meeting with Dr. Mathur?" Nidhi asked Rohan later in the day when he met her after finishing administrative formalities.

"It was good. By the way, are you expected to address everyone formally here? I just addressed him by his first name. Is that a problem?"

Nidhi laughed slightly, "With me and Dr. Mathur ' no! But with others, it is better if you address the formally, unless they ask you to do otherwise."

"Okay. But you also call him Dr. Mathur."

"Well... Yeah..." Nidhi fidgeted a bit while replying, "He has taught me when I was a student here. So, it is difficult to let go of the habit."

"Ah! I see. So, what do you want me to start working on?"

"I am sending you a link to download some sample data we have received from the institute of Genetics research and also a list of hypotheses we would want to confirm or reject based on it. See what are the best tools we can use to analyze that data or if we have to develop our own programs."

"Sure. I will get back to you. Thanks Nidhi."

"Welcome once again and all the best."

--

"I have to buy a new phone," Nidhi said when they came out of the hospital after meeting Nandini.

"What's wrong with your phone? It seems all right."

"All right? It's, like, seriously outdated. Who uses these anymore?"

"Okay. You want to go now?"

"You will come with me?"

"Why not?"

"That's great. Let's go."

"I used to have an iPhone in the US. I loved it, but it was not unlocked. So, I left it there itself. Now even Android phones are good. I think I will try one of those. Samsung has some good ones."

"Most of it is Greek to me, Nidhi. You buy whatever you want and I will praise it, I promise."

"Come on!"

"Seriously. Phone is there to call people up. All you need are those number buttons."

"You should use iPhone once. Rohan has one. Then you won't say this again."

"I doubt, but let's see your phone now," he stopped the car in front of the shop they were to visit.

"I like this one," Nidhi picked up a sample piece displayed in front of her, "Let's buy one for you too."

"27,000 for a phone, Nidhi? Are you crazy? You buy it. Leave me alone."

"Please. It's a gift."

"No. Just buy your phone and then we are leaving," Ashutosh was firm and Nidhi could not insist after that.

--

"You are angry?" Ashutosh noticed that Nidhi was quiet during their drive back from the shop.

"No," she replied without looking at him.

"Do you know you look really cute when you are trying to hide your anger?"

"These clichd lines do not suit you."

Ashutosh sighed, "I am sorry, Nidhi. But trust me; I would not have used the phone you would have so lovingly gifted. That would make neither of us happy, right?"

She nodded, still looking grumpy.

"Okay. Listen. You get me another gift. Anything you want and I would happily accept it. Promise! Now, please give me a smile."

Nidhi pouted as if she is not satisfied, but is letting him go. Ashutosh smiled and then she smiled back, "I can't remain angry at you. You are taking advantage of that."

--

"I used to be an iPhone snob too. But hey, android is really cool now. Come on, check it out," Nidhi was arguing with Rohan in her office.

"All right. Let's exchange the phones for a day."

"Let's do it," both of them switched their phones off and exchanged their SIM cards. Nidhi had hardly switched the Rohan's iPhone back on, when Ashutosh came there. He had been running and was panting.

"Why the hell is your phone switched off, Nidhi?" he asked angrily.

"I was just..."

"We have to go to the hospital. Right now. They were trying your phone."

"Oh my God!" Nidhi turned pale, "What happened?"

"Come with me," he grabbed her hand and dragged her out.

"What did they say? Is she..." her voice was quivering.

"I don't know. They just wanted us there."

Nidhi bit her lips trying not to break down. Ashutosh slowed down for a while and pressed her hands. Then he drove away furiously to the hospital.

--

"Final hours Prof. Mathur," the doctor informed them, "Probably last day or two. You might want to spend the time here."

He nodded. Nidhi sat down beside Nandini, who would gain her consciousness occasionally, but was in extreme pain.

"Who all should we inform Nidhi?" Ashutosh asked gently.

Nidhi picked up Nandini's phone and gave Ashutosh the numbers of her friends and old colleagues, as well as the CEO of their company. "He would inform others at the company," she said, "And probably also the lawyer."

Ashutosh nodded and went out to make the calls. He also called Anji. She left for the hospital immediately.

Many people came and visited Nandini during the day. But Nidhi did not leave her bedside. She sat there as if glued to the seat.

"Get some fresh air, Nidhi," Anji told her in the evening.

She nodded in refusal.

"At least have something to eat."

Nidhi nodded again.

Anji looked at Ashutosh. He came forward and sat down beside Nidhi.

"Do I have to scold you now, Nidhi? How do you think Ma will feel if she came to know that you are sitting here hungry the entire day."

"She can't feel anything, any longer, can she?" Nidhi spoke for the first time in hours and choked on her words.

"She can't speak. But she can feel. She can feel everything, especially if you do something to hurt yourself."

She looked at him as if trying to understand what he said. He nodded to assure her and looked at Anji, who handed Nidhi the roll she had brought from the hospital canteen.

Anji drove to Nidhi's home and brought her clothes and other items of necessity. Then she stayed with her as Ashutosh also went home to bring his stuff and inform at the institute of his and Nidhi's leave.

"One of us needs to be well-rested Anji. Come back tomorrow," Ashutosh told Anji when she sounded unwilling to leave. So, she left for the night. When Nidhi refused to leave Nandini's side even at night, Ashutosh shifted the sofa close to Nandini's bed and made Nidhi lie down on that. He went outside and sat down on the chair in the visitor's area.

He was woken up from his slumber by the sound of her sobs. She was sitting on the ground beside him and was sobbing with her face buried in his lap.

"Nidhi! What happened?" he was still disoriented from his sleep. But just then he saw the doctor and the nurse on night duty coming out of Nandini's room.

"I am sorry," the doctor told Ashutosh and left, while the nurse stayed back to help them with the hospital formalities before they could take the custody of Nandini's body.

--

"Except for the cash that she has given to the NGO she worked for, everything else is under your joint ownership Prof. Mathur and Nidhi. This house, the shares in the company and other investments and properties she owned." the lawyer informed them of the will and handed them the relevant papers.

Nidhi just smiled weakly, still not quite recovered from her mother's loss, while Ashutosh was stunned, "Joint ownership? With me? Why?"

"Difficult for me to know," Mr. Mehta smiled and then handed him an envelope, "There is this letter for you. May be it will explain. I will take your leave now."

"Thank you Mr. Mehta," Ashutosh and Nidhi shook hands with him and he left.

"Nidhi. This is weird. What am I supposed to do with all of this? I will ask Mr. Mehta to prepare papers for transferring these to you."

"Why? How does it matter?"

"This is your family property. It belongs to you, Nidhi."

"And isn't it as good as belonging to you?"

"You don't understand..."

"Why are you behaving like this?" suddenly her eyes filled with tears, "Do you also want to leave me alone?" It happened too often with her these days; especially if he said anything to her sternly or rudely. Nandini's death had really shattered her.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Nidhi. Please don't cry. You know that's not true. I am here, right? You know I am always here and not going anywhere. Never," he hugged her and patted her affectionately until her tears stopped.

"It has been three weeks Nidhi. You really need to gather yourself together and come out of this."

"I want to. But... She is not there Ashutosh. She is not there any longer."

"This won't do Nidhi. This won't do at all. Listen. We are going out today. Call up Anji and see if she and Rangnath can also come. You need a change Nidhi. And from Monday you will join the work back. Okay?"

"Okay."

--

Ashutosh tossed and turned in his bed that night thinking about Nandini's will. He was experiencing the same restlessness that he had experienced when Nidhi had insisted on gifting him that costly phone. He had thought about a thousand things related to his and Nidhi's relationship, but not this. She belonged to a rich family and was the only child. He was, by no means, poor. After his father's death, he had sold off all his family land and property and the money was invested profitably. That along with his salary ensured that he had more money than he could ever use for himself. But while he could afford to do it once in a while, he wouldn't be comfortable just walking into a shop and spending 27,000 Rs. on a phone. It wasn't the lifestyle he had grown up with and he didn't have money to live like that on a daily basis. But it was her lifestyle. She had grown up with that kind of family wealth. It would be unfair to expect her to give that up. But he couldn't just accept her family money and that lifestyle; could he? How will it work? Can they live two separate lifestyles, when they are together?

What Ma was thinking while making that will, he wondered. And then he recalled the letter the lawyer had given to him. Oh! He had left it on the table and forgot to bring it back with him. Should he call Nidhi? He looked at the clock. It was 1 'o clock at night. He shouldn't disturb her. As it is, she didn't sleep or eat well these days. Sometimes he used to stay back with her. But since they wanted to keep their relationship discreet, he avoided doing it all the time.

--

"Nidhi? What happened? So early in the morning? Is everything all right?" Ashutosh was surprised to find Nidhi at the door at 6.30 in the morning, when he woke up at the sound of the doorbell.

"Will you let me in?" she asked.

"Yes – of course. Sorry. I am sleepy."

"You forgot to read Mom's letter yesterday," she handed him the envelope the lawyer had left for him yesterday.

"Yes. I recalled late at night, so I didn't disturb you. But you came for this?" he was surprised.

She nodded a yes. The envelope was unsealed. Ashutosh looked at her.

"I am sorry, but I read it... I couldn't..."

"It's okay," he said and started reading it.

"Dear Ashutosh,

I would have liked to stay healthier for a little longer, so that I had more time with you. Not because I don't know or understand you. That I think I do very well by now. But because I would have liked to discuss more things with you. However, by the time yours and Nidhi's relationship was strong enough, my health no longer allowed me to do that. So, I am writing this letter at a time when I am feeling a little better.

It doesn't matter how strong the love is, one cannot forget that there are two different people in a relationship. Both have their own personalities, own values and own backgrounds. There will be some conflicts, some compromises and some adjustments to be made. I am confident that you will be able to handle most of the things very well. I already see you doing that.

What I am not sure about is how you would react to my will. For the short period that I have known you, you have been a son to me, more than that actually, and you have fulfilled all your responsibilities in that role. So, one way of justifying my will is that I am giving you your rights as a son too. If I had the strength, I would have sat down with you and argued it out until I could convince you that this was the right way to look at things. Unfortunately I cannot do that. So, if you are not willing to accept it as your right, accept it as your duty. Duty to look after your Ma's legacy, duty to look after Nidhi and everything that belongs to her, duty to keep her happy. Please don't ever make her feel that she is a misfit for you, just because she owns all of this or because she is used to a rich life. Will you adapt for her? Please! Consider this to be my last wish.

My blessings and best wishes are always with you.

With Love

Ma"

Ashutosh looked at Nidhi after finishing the letter. She was looking at him in anticipation.

"What happened? Why are you staring at me?" he asked.

She became embarrassed, "Nothing. Just... I hadn't realized until reading this letter, why you hadn't accepted that phone. "

"Nidhi!"

"I'll adjust. I promise," she said. He was bewitched by her innocence and eagerness to play her part in their relationship. He kept the letter on a table lying nearby, went to her and pulled her in a tight hug.

"Don't worry," he said, "That is my job. You just have to make sure you are happy Nidhi."

"And I am sorry. I have been... a cry baby recently..."

"Don't be so hard on yourself. I had known her for less than a year. And still I felt lost yesterday without her advice. You have been dependent on her your entire life. You are not expected to recover overnight."

"You are so understanding. Sometimes I fear that I will be spoiled."

Ashutosh laughed, "It's all right. It's not like if I spoil you someone else has to bear with it. By the way, you still want to gift me that phone?"

She smiled, "No. I have something else in mind."

"All right. I will wait for it."

--

"And how is Rangnath?" Nidhi asked Anji. They were meeting at their favorite coffee shop.

"I don't know."

"Huh?"

"We don't meet any longer."

"Why? I thought it was going well..."

"I had started thinking so too..."

"Then? He broke up? Just like that?"

"To be fair to him Nidhi, we were not really together. We had decided to put our relationship on hold."

"But something changed? What happened?"

"He found a long lost sister," Anji sounded bitter, "A cousin actually, whom he hadn't met in several years. She had some issues, some mental issues. And she has been in a mental health facility for several years." Anji did not notice Nidhi's shocked expressions or pale face as she continued, "Apparently her marriage did not work. After meeting her several times, he was not sure he wants to get into that. He thought I needed to move on and the only way to do so was if we stopped meeting."

"Have you met... her sister? Did he tell you more about her?"

"Nope. What I told you is all I know."

"And do you agree to his decision?"

"What does that matter Nidhi?"

"How can it not? If you don't agree, won't you like to convince him?"

"Nidhi. Nobody has seen the future. I can't be sure that nothing will go wrong. All I can say is that I am still ready to commit to my love. But relationships don't work with only one person trying, does it? If he is not confident, if he doesn't want to commit, then the entire responsibility of maintaining the relationship will be on my shoulders. It doesn't make sense. It's not healthy."

Nidhi nodded in understanding and did not say anything to Anji. But there was a storm brewing in her heart. Things were messed up and so connected. Rangnath hadn't told Anji that Sarika was Ashutosh' wife. Even though he had apparently accepted that Ashutosh couldn't have done anything better for his sister, he could not come to terms with her broken marriage. Was she or her relationship with Ashutosh becoming the reason for her best friend's heart-break? How would she live with that horrible feeling? Should she confess everything to Anji? Even if she did, how would it help her? Should she talk to Rangnath? But why would he listen to her? What should she do? She spent the night restlessly.

--

"Sarika ji?"

"Nidhi. How are you?" Sarika was coherent. Nidhi thanked her stars.

"I am fine. How are you?"

"It's all God's grace. You came alone?"

"Yeah. Why? Can't I?"

"Of course. You can. You can't imagine how happy I feel when you visit me?"

"Rangnath has also been visiting you now, right?"

"Yeah. I have so many people to look after me now. I am so lucky."

Nidhi smiled and could not help notice and wonder at how little Sarika expected from life. She, then, asked her for a favor and explained Rangnath's and Anji's relationship.

"You are not angry at me for coming in Ashutosh' life, are you?" she asked Sarika.

"Of course not. Didn't I tell you how happy I was? He deserves happiness dear."

"And so do your brother and my friend. Would you talk to him, please?"

"Of course, I will. Just pray that I am well enough to talk when he comes next."

"I am sure, you will be. Thank you so much."

"You don't need to thank me. In fact, thanks to you. If I can save my brother's happiness, at least I would be of some use to somebody."

--

"Congratulations! Finally all is well," Nidhi congratulated Anji during the small party she and Rangnath had kept for their engagement.

"If I weren't so happy, I would kill you Nidhi. How could you not tell me about all of this?"

"I am sorry Anji. I didn't mean to hide it. But I was feeling so guilty... I just desperately wanted to set things right."

"I know," Anji smiled, "I was just joking. You have been a true friend."

"All right. Don't become so emotional. Tears are better reserved for wedding."

"Shut up!" They broke into a laughter as Ashutosh clicked a photograph.

--

Author's Note: As of now assume that Nidhi and Ashutosh got married soon after and lived happily ever after. I am too bored to continue the story now. Rohan angle was introduced to bring some jealousy and masala. But I am not writing this now. If I ever decide to return to this story, I will explore that before showing Ashutosh and Nidhi's wedding.