"Good afternoon everyone," Ashutosh was addressing the monthly departmental faculty meeting, "As you are already aware, the primary agenda for this meeting is to nominate people from the department for the various administrative positions. But before that we must welcome Dr. Nidhi Verma to our department as an associate professor." He waited as a formal round of clap followed, "Most of you might already have met her and if not, I'd request you to make your acquaintance as soon as possible, preferably right after this meeting. By way of introduction, Dr. Verma has been an Undergraduate student in this institute itself and some of the older faculty members here, including myself, have taught her. So, I feel not only the joy, but also pride, in welcoming her here as an accomplished young faculty. She has done her MS and Ph. D. from the New York University. Her doctoral thesis as well as post-doctoral research has already made waves in the academic world. And so we have high hopes that the addition of this young blood in our team will hugely benefit the students as well as the department and its research output. Please welcome Dr. Nidhi Verma." Another round of applause followed which Nidhi acknowledged gracefully. She thanked Ashutosh and everyone else in the department for helping her settle in fast and said that she looked forward to the exciting times ahead of her in their company.
Inwardly she wondered about the words uttered by Ashutosh. Had he forgotten his earlier attitude towards her? May be. He had been teaching for so many years. So many students would have come and gone - every year a few of them would have been good students. He couldn't be expected to remember the details of each one of them. It was a surprise enough that he remembered her name.
'Anyway,' she shrugged off her thoughts and tried to concentrate on the meeting, whose focus shifted to her again after a while.
"For the students counseling forum, Dr. Verma, I was thinking of nominating you from our department. You have been a student here and as one of the youngest faculty member, I believe you will be in the best position to connect with the students and help them with their problems. So, can we send your nomination?"
"Sure Sir. I will try to do my best," Nidhi gave a formal reply. There wasn't much to do about the proposal. As a young faculty member, she'd be pushed into various administrative role, that was a given in the world of academics. She might as well take up this one. But she was surprised when Ashutosh asked her to meet him in his office after the meeting.
"How is it going Nidhi?" he was using her first name in their private meeting, she noticed. After their first meeting they had met only during the departmental meetings or other formal occasions. There she had gotten used to being addressed as Dr. Verma by him. Any chance meetings in department corridors involved no more communication than a nod and a smile most of the time.
"It's been fine. Thanks for asking."
"I just wanted to have a quick word with you regarding the responsibilities as a member of students counseling forum. Some of the things you would need to keep in mind..."
'Of course, he doesn't trust me to do it right,' Nidhi thought to herself. But she smiled outwardly, "Sure Sir. I'm sure I can do with some help."
Ashutosh laughed slightly at that surprising Nidhi, "No. I am not offering any help. You don't need that, I am sure. But just wanted to give you a word of advice and caution. Most of the administrative tasks are looked down upon by the faculty members. But there are some which are very sensitive. Students counseling is one of them. The kind of things that bug people mentally and the far reaching effects they can have is beyond our wildest imagination. Right help and support at the right time can prevent many a disasters. Young students go through many experiences for the first time and a lot of it can be confusing. Particularly for those staying in the hostels, who might have come away from their protective families for the first time. So, do take care of your students."
"I will keep that in mind, Sir."
"Good."
'He has started understanding a lot about the confusions of the young students,' Nidhi thought almost bitterly as she recalled her first brush with Ashutosh' attitude towards her.
After the brilliant results of the first semester at the college and her participation in the extra-curricular activities, all the faculty members knew Nidhi when the second semester started. So, she wasn't expecting the response she got from Dr. Ashutosh Mathur, when she came to the class five minutes late.
"May I come in, Sir?"
"No. The class has already started and you may not disturb the rest of the class."
Nidhi was so taken aback that she did not know what to say for a few seconds. But soon she found her voice, "I am sorry, Sir. But I was held up for the cultural festival preparations. Just couple of minutes."
"Leave now, Ms. Nidhi Verma," he had thundered. Nidhi's face had turned red at the humiliation. But she had no option, except to leave.
And it had continued, until it had become the established wisdom that it was fine to be late in Dr. Mathur's class, so long as you reached before Nidhi. It was fine to get distracted and play games sitting on the last bench in his class, until Nidhi was not in the group. It was fine to be late in submitting the assignments, so long as Nidhi was not the one also late for that assignment.
She had to be thankful that his bias against her did not reflect in his assessment. He never gave her lesser marks in the assignments or the examinations than what she deserved. But she did take his grudge as a challenge and tried to overcome it by the only means she knew to impress teachers. To do better in their subjects.
She worked harder than usual.
"Ah! So much of effort going on in the Medieval History project. You have a crush on Dr. Mathur, don't you?" her best friend in the college, Anji, had remarked.
"Crush? Have you gone mad? Why would I have a crush on someone who is so rude to me?"
"Precisely because of that. He is, like, unreachable for you. All other teachers and students - you have them eating out of your hands Ms. Nidhi Verma."
"Shut up Ms. Anjalika Solanki. Don't you try your psychology major on me!"
In response Anji had winked at her and run away.
"Crush indeed! I would crush him, if I could," Nidhi had thought as she had returned back to her project.
She came out of her thoughts as the clock struck two. Damn! She had a class at two. She rushed out picking up her notes.
--
"Sorry? No Dr. Verma. Sorry doesn't work like this. Being sorry repairs no damage in this case," Ashutosh shouted at her after he woke her up from her afternoon slumber at her home.
"I... I..." Nidhi had run out of words. It was indeed a grave mistake. She had forgotten that she had to give an exam. Students kept waiting and she did not reach the examination hall. But what was she to do now that it had happened? Dr. Mathur was not doing anything to make it easier for her.
"Dr. Verma. We are an autonomous institute. We have a lot of academic freedom and we pass that on to the faculty members. You are free not to take the exams and assess the students in other ways. But when you do schedule an exam, you can't just vanish leaving the students waiting. This unprofessionalism is not acceptable."
"I have nothing to say in my defense, Sir," Nidhi spoke in a defeated voice, "Mistake is done. I cannot undo it. But I'm ready to take any punishment for it you deem fit."
"Punishment!" Ashutosh retorted sarcastically, "Apologize to the students and work with the admin to reschedule the examination. Make sure to cause as less discomfort to the students as possible. We will discuss anything else later."
"Yes Sir."
--
"You need an outing Dr. Verma," Anji quipped when Nidhi called her and shared her horrible day.
"I'm in no position to plan anything."
"Don't worry about that. I am relatively free today. I will come to your home by six in the evening and pick you up. We will go to a disco or something and have some fun time. Auntie is not there at home anyway, right?"
"Yeah. Mom has gone to Lucknow."
"Done then. A night out, like in college days."
After roaming around in various cities since her graduation, Anji had done her MBA and settled down with a well-paying job in Mumbai. Nidhi was glad to have her best friend in the same city when she also came here for her job. It was definitely a huge support in times like these.
"You know what Anji, the students will be more than happy that I didn't turn up for the exam. But Dr. Mathur! He has to make me feel bad. I mean - yes. It was a stupid thing to do. But he was acting as if I have caused so much trouble to those students. I can bet we will spot many of them in the same disco tonight - celebrating not having to take an exam."
"I agree! But it's okay Nidhi. What has happened has happened. You can't change it. And he scolded you as the head of the department. What do you expect him to do? He can't laugh it off given his position, right?"
"May be. But just as I had started to believe that his grudges were a thing of past, this had to come."
As Nidhi entered the disco with Anji, she forgot all about her work-related worries and didn't pay attention to her constantly ringing mobile.
--
They came out at half past three in the morning after partying and dancing. That's when Nidhi noticed several missed calls on her mobile. At around ten in the night, there were five calls from a student. This was followed by calls from couple of different phone numbers at the college. And finally there were more than ten calls from Ashutosh, the last one at a quarter to three.
Nidhi panicked. She called Ashutosh back. His voice did not reveal much to Nidhi, but she could guess that something had gone wrong when he gave her the address of a hospital and asked her to come there.
The student, Rakesh Sharma, who had called her, had tried to commit suicide by slitting his wrists.
"He had tried calling you Nidhi. You hold the pager for counseling forum for this week, right?" Ashutosh asked when she reached the hospital.
Nidhi was feeling so guilty that she could not meet his eyes as she nodded, "Yes Sir." She, then, asked hesitatingly, "Is he... in danger?"
"No. He is out of danger."
"But... it will... become a police case or..."
"The director has taken care of that. The news won't go outside. We have informed the parents also. They will be here tomorrow to take him with them until he recovers."
Nidhi didn't have the guts to say sorry, "Sir. You can go home and take rest. I will stay here."
"It's okay. There isn't much time left to sleep anyway. I will stay over as well."
Nidhi was heartily thankful that he didn't scold her just then. She was already dying from her guilt. If he had said any more stinging words, she'd have broken down.
--
Harry Potter
Kabhi Neem Neem Kabhi Shahad Shahad
Shiv Shakti
