Nidhi's Dilemma

Hello? I have been a silent member of this forum from the inception .First let me tell you that Hats Off to the members of this forum. I've never seen a more positive forum all over IF. It really is a pleasure to visit this forum. After Friday's episode the forum has been buzzing with all kinds of views and I'd like to add my two pence worth of thoughts too.

I feel Nidhi's decision has been justified.

It is not that easy to break all ties with your family in the direst of situations. When your family is completely orthodox and you choose a guy who is perfect in every way even then when your parents are against your choice for the most flimsy reasons even then a couple thinks very hard before breaking all the ties with their family and doing a sprint. Here Nidhi's father is not threatening to lock her up or getting her married somewhere else like a despot instead he is trying to find a way to heal his daughter. It is very easy to stand up for your rights in front of a cruel or an unreasonable parent but it is very difficult to do so in front of a kind and reasonable parent and that too someone with a genuine reason to oppose your match.

In India whether we accept or not culturally we are a close knit unit with society dictating our every step, especially in a small town like Lucknow. The issue Colonel Verma has with a big age gap is not that he will have to face the barbs of society, but his daughter whom he has brought up as a father and mother both will have to do so. Even here his concern is for his daughter's well-being and he believes that the pain of heartbreak she is going through now is less than what she will have to go through if she marries Dr. Ashutosh. (It's what he believes not me so please don't throw your virtual slippers at me. The most heart rending situation a parent faces is when they have to deny their child something. It is very evident on Baba's face that he is suffering every step of the way with Nidhi.

I also read some people saying that Nidhi is a coward for not trying to convince her Baba or giving in so easily. Au Contraire I believe she is very brave to not argue with her father because she knows that refusing her wish again and again will only hurt her Baba more and more. If she would have gone against her family's wishes and left them for Dr. Ashutosh that would have been the coward's way out. She herself says that she is confused. Here I have to commend her Baba's upbringing of her, for it takes immense courage put to your family before your own self and think of their happiness. In Nidhi's mind she has chosen the lesser of the two evils. She knows that by going against her Baba she will never find fulfillment in her new relationship and consequently her unhappiness will lead to Dr Ashutosh feeling guilty that Nidhi is unhappy with him.

Where Mandira is concerned , from what little has come forward she has settled in America thus the emotional umbilical with her parents has been severed a long time back and she could forge ahead without parental approval whereas Nidhi is still attached to her father as she does not know life without him always by her side perhaps more so because she has been single handedly brought up by her father.

I am sure Baba will gradually come about Ashni's way of thinking and give his blessings to their relationship amply rewarding Nidhi's patience. Till then I will just sit back and root for Ashni all the way.

Good Post...Liked reading alternative point of View on this situation...

Nidhi's choice may be justified but her sudden transition is very unconvincing as pointed by Armu...

Thankyou very much for your support and encouragement. Now that i've manged to overcome my nervousness and put up my first post i'll try to post my views regularly.

Tanu i agree with you that the change in her behaviour has been sudden and dratsic but this can also be viewed from another perspective. Nidhi's approach to her father's approval has been like an ostrich with his head buried in the sand. Even with so many hints she never mentally prepared herself to hear a refusal from her father. She always believed that her Baba wouldn't refuse her choice.