Posted:
BAKWAAS TIMES
Never say never again!!!
By Lizzie... Dizzy Lizzie
After two whole nights of singing "Rulake gaya sapna mera", and soaking 4 bedsheets, 2 blankets and 3 pillow covers with her tears.. (my bai is happy her washing load was drastically reduced😆)... And wreaking emossanal atyachaar on hubby.. and saying over a thousand times... Never will I watch that khichdi again.. .. DL is back..
Aakhir paapi pet ka sawaal hai.. And farz is farz and all that jazz...
Okay here goes..
BT reporters are busy working overtime with the shock waves that have rocked KTKP...the wave recorded 15.8 on the Swoon Scale with people crying, sighing, raging at the devastation it caused...
Handsomeji will no longer be part of KTKP... And this news of seismic proportions has rocked and shaken up the KTKP kitchen something fierce!!!
Our reporter DL went around recording the reactions of various people with vested interests in the show and also the audience to see how this news has impacted them
AB: Arre... Abhi tum eech bolo kya karneka? Apunne bahut koshish kiya usko rakhne ka...Kitna problems horrela hai maloom uske jaane se? Apunka director ka bhi naukri khatre mein hai..usko BD ke bina scene direct karna aata ho nahi..
Aur woh apunki ex-kaamwali bai? Booty Deprived? Uska toh naukri gayelaeech samjho..Kitna bong marreli hai woh apunke naam se!! Chaila!! Chilla chillake apunka bheja kharreli hai!!!
Aur apunko?? Apunko sabse bada problem hai...not touch romance ko touch romance banana padega... Haayla!! Kya kya karna padta hai paapi pet ke liye!!! Aur ye story..abhi story kaise likhneka samajh mein nahi aarela hai, baap! Handsome ko tapkake ajun ek tapori ko laneka Munni ko romance karne liye, ya Handsome ko eech plastic surgery karvake wapis leke aaneka? Kitna bada problem hai, baap!
BD: You don't know what sleepless nights this is giving us! We have to find a replacement for Handsome and that is proving to be a Herculean task!! The new guy has to have dimples.. How will those million females drool over him and increase our TRPs without them?
And to add to that the style quotient, new guy has to be able to carry off those stuffy suits and look like a hot style icon in them too!!! And he has to be able to play the violin and like Beethoven! And should have a taste for adrak wali chai, methi muthiya, bhagara baingan and cappuccino! What if we find another burger and noodle lover??? .. That would never do!!
Head of STONY channel: Well we have lined up quite a few candidates for replacement thanks to IF. Right now there are serious contenders such as Block-of-wood, not-so-Handsome, Specsy, Puffy face, Girly Hero, GoluMolu, Handsome-but-too-young, Old-but-not-handsome-enough.
There are so many options... We request the fans at IF to puts forward their own suitable candidates for consideration. Then we will host a parallel Munni ka Swayamwar show, where we will have contests among the candidates... It will shoot up the TRPs like never before.
Bagair Dimples: Oh god, yet another lay-off! The story of my life... This BD industry totally sucks... Now back to looking at the BD yellow pages again..Well I knew it when I joined, that there are no guarantees, maybe I was better off being a ghost, you know. Now I'll have to wait and see who's going to replace Handsome.. If the new guy is like Handu then I may still stand a chance. You never know...that's the good thing about my job, heroes can come and go but BDs never go out business...Wait a minute..I hear they're considering me for Handsome's role!! Well, well, well..whaddaya know!!
Booty Deprived: I had got so used to the double Tankha... !!! My sister earning at ABs place and me earning here...Now I have to change my lifestyle all over again.. Will have to stop buying branded stuff... My Versaces, Prada, DKNY, Gucci ... how can I afford all that now? And how will I pay the instalment for my new iPad???
Totally insensitive and thoughtless move by Handsome,!! And I will miss staring at his eyes and watching his dimples too.. From so close!! Now Munni will do all the touchy scenes with the new guy and I'll be permanently out of work!!
And now onto some of our viewers ...
Mrs Puja Yogi: I'm shattered, heart-broken, distraught... Cannot think straight!!! What will I do without Handsome? Whose dimples will I drool over? I only watched this AB ka khichdi in the hope that I will catch a glimpse of that gorgeous face, that Greek god profile, those soft, dreamy eyes and those beautiful dimples... I had become a Jogan for him!!! And had become badnaam in the process...being labeled as Handsomevrata.. (instead of pativrata) and Kalmoohi Bahu by my Saas... I took all the insults only for Handsome... And now he's gone!!!
Mr Yogi: Great..finally I'll get to eat edible food not salt laden subjis and diabetes inducing tea... I've ended up losing 5 kgs thanks to this KTKP khichdi...I was seriously considering sending her to rehab, but this is the best deaddiction therapy, no drug, no addiction!!! Most of all I'll be happy that she won't spend hours on IF .. Whew!! Thank you Handuji!!!
Ms Amrapali Wagh: Well, I had begun the "Bring MuHan in the same frame" aandolan.. Sparing no one including Handsomeji for his 5ft distance and no touch clause! Now this new fellow had better be ready to do touchy touchy scenes with Munni... If not I'm ready to begin my MuXXX andolan all over again!!! My claws are already sharpened and my tongue even more sharp!!! Watch out, Mr Replacement!!!
Munni fan club member: Oh we have no worries, after all ... our motto is... We hear nothing, we speak nothing and we see nothing but we KNOW everything!!!
This is DL... signing off... And like Schwarznegger.. I'LL BE BACK!!! Jab tak AB aur KTKP rahega, DL ka reports bhi zinda rahega... I may be down.. But never out!!! Thanks for putting up with my Bakwaas!!!
Never say never again!!!
By Lizzie... Dizzy Lizzie
After two whole nights of singing "Rulake gaya sapna mera", and soaking 4 bedsheets, 2 blankets and 3 pillow covers with her tears.. (my bai is happy her washing load was drastically reduced😆)... And wreaking emossanal atyachaar on hubby.. and saying over a thousand times... Never will I watch that khichdi again.. .. DL is back..
Aakhir paapi pet ka sawaal hai.. And farz is farz and all that jazz...
Okay here goes..
BT reporters are busy working overtime with the shock waves that have rocked KTKP...the wave recorded 15.8 on the Swoon Scale with people crying, sighing, raging at the devastation it caused...
Handsomeji will no longer be part of KTKP... And this news of seismic proportions has rocked and shaken up the KTKP kitchen something fierce!!!
Our reporter DL went around recording the reactions of various people with vested interests in the show and also the audience to see how this news has impacted them
AB: Arre... Abhi tum eech bolo kya karneka? Apunne bahut koshish kiya usko rakhne ka...Kitna problems horrela hai maloom uske jaane se? Apunka director ka bhi naukri khatre mein hai..usko BD ke bina scene direct karna aata ho nahi..
Aur woh apunki ex-kaamwali bai? Booty Deprived? Uska toh naukri gayelaeech samjho..Kitna bong marreli hai woh apunke naam se!! Chaila!! Chilla chillake apunka bheja kharreli hai!!!
Aur apunko?? Apunko sabse bada problem hai...not touch romance ko touch romance banana padega... Haayla!! Kya kya karna padta hai paapi pet ke liye!!! Aur ye story..abhi story kaise likhneka samajh mein nahi aarela hai, baap! Handsome ko tapkake ajun ek tapori ko laneka Munni ko romance karne liye, ya Handsome ko eech plastic surgery karvake wapis leke aaneka? Kitna bada problem hai, baap!
BD: You don't know what sleepless nights this is giving us! We have to find a replacement for Handsome and that is proving to be a Herculean task!! The new guy has to have dimples.. How will those million females drool over him and increase our TRPs without them?
And to add to that the style quotient, new guy has to be able to carry off those stuffy suits and look like a hot style icon in them too!!! And he has to be able to play the violin and like Beethoven! And should have a taste for adrak wali chai, methi muthiya, bhagara baingan and cappuccino! What if we find another burger and noodle lover??? .. That would never do!!
Head of STONY channel: Well we have lined up quite a few candidates for replacement thanks to IF. Right now there are serious contenders such as Block-of-wood, not-so-Handsome, Specsy, Puffy face, Girly Hero, GoluMolu, Handsome-but-too-young, Old-but-not-handsome-enough.
There are so many options... We request the fans at IF to puts forward their own suitable candidates for consideration. Then we will host a parallel Munni ka Swayamwar show, where we will have contests among the candidates... It will shoot up the TRPs like never before.
Bagair Dimples: Oh god, yet another lay-off! The story of my life... This BD industry totally sucks... Now back to looking at the BD yellow pages again..Well I knew it when I joined, that there are no guarantees, maybe I was better off being a ghost, you know. Now I'll have to wait and see who's going to replace Handsome.. If the new guy is like Handu then I may still stand a chance. You never know...that's the good thing about my job, heroes can come and go but BDs never go out business...Wait a minute..I hear they're considering me for Handsome's role!! Well, well, well..whaddaya know!!
Booty Deprived: I had got so used to the double Tankha... !!! My sister earning at ABs place and me earning here...Now I have to change my lifestyle all over again.. Will have to stop buying branded stuff... My Versaces, Prada, DKNY, Gucci ... how can I afford all that now? And how will I pay the instalment for my new iPad???
Totally insensitive and thoughtless move by Handsome,!! And I will miss staring at his eyes and watching his dimples too.. From so close!! Now Munni will do all the touchy scenes with the new guy and I'll be permanently out of work!!
And now onto some of our viewers ...
Mrs Puja Yogi: I'm shattered, heart-broken, distraught... Cannot think straight!!! What will I do without Handsome? Whose dimples will I drool over? I only watched this AB ka khichdi in the hope that I will catch a glimpse of that gorgeous face, that Greek god profile, those soft, dreamy eyes and those beautiful dimples... I had become a Jogan for him!!! And had become badnaam in the process...being labeled as Handsomevrata.. (instead of pativrata) and Kalmoohi Bahu by my Saas... I took all the insults only for Handsome... And now he's gone!!!
Mr Yogi: Great..finally I'll get to eat edible food not salt laden subjis and diabetes inducing tea... I've ended up losing 5 kgs thanks to this KTKP khichdi...I was seriously considering sending her to rehab, but this is the best deaddiction therapy, no drug, no addiction!!! Most of all I'll be happy that she won't spend hours on IF .. Whew!! Thank you Handuji!!!
Ms Amrapali Wagh: Well, I had begun the "Bring MuHan in the same frame" aandolan.. Sparing no one including Handsomeji for his 5ft distance and no touch clause! Now this new fellow had better be ready to do touchy touchy scenes with Munni... If not I'm ready to begin my MuXXX andolan all over again!!! My claws are already sharpened and my tongue even more sharp!!! Watch out, Mr Replacement!!!
Munni fan club member: Oh we have no worries, after all ... our motto is... We hear nothing, we speak nothing and we see nothing but we KNOW everything!!!
This is DL... signing off... And like Schwarznegger.. I'LL BE BACK!!! Jab tak AB aur KTKP rahega, DL ka reports bhi zinda rahega... I may be down.. But never out!!! Thanks for putting up with my Bakwaas!!!
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